After an abusive relationship and after you’ve found the courage to move on from that experience, you are now ready to fall in love again, right? You are ready to forgive everything he has done and all the tears you’ve shed because of him, but you are still not ready to forgive yourself. What if you’re not ready to fall in love again and the only thing that convinced you that you were is actually the desperate voice in your mind telling you that you NEED someone in your life?
You always needed a partner. You were jumping from relationship to relationship expecting someone else to make it all better for you, to fix your brokenness. But you don’t need that.
You need yourself.
The only person in this world who can heal you is you. People come and leave but you are always left with yourself at the end of the day. How I see it is that partners are the icing on already delicious cakes! Icing makes cakes tastier , but its absence doesn’t make your life less enjoyable. You want to know why? Because YOU are the most important thing in your life. Sometimes, you really need to sit down with yourself and have a little chat. Why? Because you need to figure this out by yourself.
Probably a question will pop into your head like: “Can I be happy single?” What do you think the answer is? Do you really need someone else to fill your emptiness? Or can you do it by youself?
I really do believe you can! You are a strong individual who can make changes in this world. Someone who can make their life a wonderful piece of art. You can achieve it just by yourself.
Go outside, have dinner by yourself, read a good book, maybe go to the gym finally! The possibilities are endless and you can do it all now.
I even think that you have known this all along, but you needed someone to tell you this. Now, that you aren’t one part of a unit, you have all this extra time to rediscover your creativity, learn a new skill, watch whatever you want while you eat whatever you want. You can sleep in the middle of your bed like a fucking starfish!
All this will help you so much with evolving and being the best version of yourself that you can be. I know that it’s sad to consider being alone and lonely for a longer period of time, but believe me—you’ll only get stronger!
You’ll come to the point where you will be ready for a new relationship. You’ll know that you love yourself enough to love someone else when you are sure that you’ll always put yourself first. No matter what! Respecting yourself will be the biggest task you’ve ever managed to complete! We’ve been taught this seemingly easy thing by our family and friends, but it’s hard to implement it into our lives until we find it out the hard way.
So, here is my challenge for you: give yourself time and practise self-love, find a new hobby, read all the books and watch all the movies you didn’t have time for when you were in a relationship. Self-improvement is the only way to a happy life. Don’t ever forget that.