I know so many stories about dates gone wrong that I could write a book about them! Sometimes it’s funny, other times it’s just disappointing and creepy.
From guys who turned out to be complete narcissists to the ones who are rude and don’t know how to act like gentlemen, I’ve heard it all.
You simply can’t go through life without ending up on at least one bad date. I’ve definitely been on a few dates I wish never happened.
After listening to my friends complain and from my own experiences, I realized there are some common mistakes men make on dates that are a complete turn-off for women. There’s legit nothing worse than when they:
1. Show up late
Ugh, this is such a turn-off! Showing up late anywhere except if you have a really good excuse is just disrespectful! Being late sets a bad energy from the beginning of the date.
I remember when I once waited for a guy for almost one hour! After my meal got cold, my interest in him did as well. So please, get ready on time and always consider different things that could impact the time you arrive on a date, like bad traffic!
If you’re already late and can’t do anything about it, at least send a quick message and make sure you apologize and make up for it.
2. Talk only about themselves
Whenever I went out with a guy who couldn’t stop talking about himself, I always felt like he was not interested in me but only wanted to tell someone his whole life story.
Of course, we want to get to know you but conversation requires at least two people, so don’t be the only one talking! I know you want to present yourself in the best light but talking only about yourself is doing the exact opposite!
And quite frankly, we’re not interested in every minor detail about your life. Instead, we want to see if we’re compatible and decide if we’re gonna see each other ever again.
3. Brag too much
Same as talking too much about themselves, boooring! We love confident guys but not the ones that are full of themselves.
I once went on a date with a guy who couldn’t stop bragging about how much money he makes, where he travels, and famous people he works with. It was so annoying! It’s nice to know you’re successful but people who are obsessed with materialistic things aren’t attractive at all.
Focus on building a connection and things that reveal your personality and values, not numbers in your bank account!
4. Don’t listen
Being able to actively listen to others is such an important and valuable skill! Listen carefully and engage in a conversation to show women you’re interested in them.
Don’t only wait for them to finish so you can say something. Try to understand what they’re saying, ask follow-up questions, and validate their opinions and feelings.
My friend told me she was out with a guy who didn’t pay attention to anything she was saying. She felt like she wasn’t important to him and couldn’t understand why he asked her out since he seemed uninterested. If she talked to the wall it would feel the same!
5. Focus on their phones
I think it’s pretty clear we all became obsessed with our phones. Seriously, it’s something we should work on.
You live in the real world and get a chance to have fun with someone and build a connection but you choose the virtual world instead? If you check your phone too much on dates, women think whatever you’re looking at is probably more important than them.
Be respectful and show them you really want to be with them on a date. No one wants to be with someone who can’t leave their phone alone for a couple of hours.
6. Talk about their ex
I went out to grab a drink with one guy once and that was the last time I saw him. He talked so much about his ex, how they’re still hanging out, and he told me she’s smart, beautiful… This whole time I wondered why he wasn’t with her if he liked her that much.
Guys, if you’re still not over your ex, please give yourself some time before engaging with other people. Focus on the person you’re with, not someone you left in the past.
But even if you’re not on good terms with your ex, don’t talk trash about them! Just avoid mentioning them in any sense.
7. Have no manners
I sometimes feel that gentlemen have gone extinct! It’s so easy to be a decent human being and still, some people manage to fail in that!
Nothing speaks more about you and your character than the way you behave. Don’t act like a Neanderthal, for God’s sake! Open a door for her, pull out her chair, and be polite to the people around you!
These are all small things that make a big difference in what we think about you and can decide if we want to see you again or ghost you on social media.
8. Act pushy with physical touch
This one might be the biggest turn-off. Some men seriously need to learn what consent means. It’s so important to know how to read someone’s body language so you can see if they’re comfortable around you or not.
Please respect women’s boundaries and don’t be too touchy unless you know 100% your date wants that. If you notice they seem uncomfortable even for a second, take a step back and apologize.
There’s no need to rush. If you have real chemistry with someone, things will kind of happen on their own without you having to push anything.
9. Don’t care about their appearance
Women do so much before going out on a date. We exfoliate and shave our whole body, spend hours doing our makeup and choosing what to wear, make sure our hair looks perfect and so much more.
So you can only imagine our disappointment when we go out with someone who barely showered.
When my friend asked me what I thought about his outfit for a date, I was shocked! He wanted to go out in some wrinkly basic shirt with his hair all messed up and beard not even shaved.
You have to do better, fellas. Dress appropriately, put on some nice cologne, and visit your barber before the date! That’s the least you can do compared to what women go through.
10. Let women be in charge
This is probably the most common mistake I see guys make. You think because more women are feminists today, we want to take the lead? Oh no, you got it all wrong.
We want equal rights, but being a gentleman is still your job. So make sure you plan that date, make reservations, and organize everything. Show us you’re capable and take initiative.
Women appreciate that more than you think. If you’re not sure what’s her vibe, suggest a couple of different options you have in mind and let her choose.
Remember that a first impression is the most important. Show her you’re interested and enjoy her company. Always strive to make the date unforgettable and memorable, in a positive way, of course.