Am I crazy?—This is probably the question you’ve been asking yourself over and over.
Why is that? You’re probably in a situation where your partner is making you believe you’re a bit ‘coocoo’. From all his talk, you are left to believe that you are the main source of all your problems. You are left with the thought that everything descends from you—you are the ‘queen bee’ of the nuthouse you’re living in.
When actually, things are not quite like that.
After all that talk about you being crazy, you start to believe you’re actually crazy and that was his goal all along.
I don’t know why that kind of men do it and what the catch is. Maybe they are making you think you’re crazy just to gain control over you.
They are feeding you with toxic thoughts to make you surrender to them and let them take control over your life completely—because you are not able to trust your own judgment anymore.
Simply put, they are ‘gaslighting’ you. ‘Gaslighting’ is a psychiatric term when false information is presented to the victims, making them doubt their own memories and therefore, their sanity.
This is a form of emotional abuse with an effect of making the victims anxious, confused and doubtful of their own memories and perceptions.
Here are the things men do to make you believe you’re the crazy one.
1. He’s making you do something you know is not right
He’s asking you to do something for him and you know, deep in your bones, that it’s not a right thing to do. And you tell him that.
All you’re left with is him convincing you that every woman would do that ‘something’ (including everything else) for her man.
He’s guilt-tripping you by making you believe you’re the only one that seems to have a problem with that ‘something’ he’s asked you to do.
In the end, you’re starting to think you’re totally paranoid—something is seriously wrong with you, but NEWS FLASH!—it’s not. This is his way of making you believe you’re the crazy one.
2. He’ll purposely bring out stuff just to hurt you
Every time you catch him in an ambiguous situation in which he has some explaining to do, he will find a way to find something that happened to you that is somehow connected to the topic.
After that, you will be left with that thought he shoved up your face, feeling fucked up on all kinds of different levels. You will totally forget about what you wanted to ask him.
For example, if you caught him texting a girl you don’t know and confronted him about it, he would remind you how your parents cheated on each other.
You see, the fact your parents cheated on each other has nothing to do with the current situation, but somehow he manages to bring that up and make you feel like you’re the crazy one.
3. He’s telling you that you’re too emotional
Someone has seen your partner with a strange girl, woman. The first thing you will do is to ask him what the heck is going on.
Of course, you won’t get a straight answer.
You will get a ‘Baby, you’re a bit paranoid’ talk because he’s the ‘perfect’ life companion who would never hurt you.
You will be left with thoughts that you are the paranoid and too emotional one who takes things too seriously.
No matter that you know he might be cheating on you and you are a hundred percent positive it’s true—you will doubt your decision and your sanity because he makes you do it.
4. He’ll make fun of you in front of your friends
He will tell a ‘story’ of you acting crazy to your friends. But here’s the catch—he’ll take something that was serious (something you were truly upset about) and he will tell it in a funny way, thus making you look ‘silly’.
After you see all your friends are laughing at the story he told, you will kind of forget how crappy you were feeling and how mad you were.
Maybe you even start to question yourself and the fact whether you are sane or not—whether it was worth getting upset about or not (and it was).
5. You start lying
Maybe this happens after you realize what he’s doing to you. So, in order to avoid emotional abuse, you start lying about things—just to save yourself from unnecessary arguments and yelling because you can’t take it anymore.
You were never a liar. You don’t have that kind of past, but now it’s an everyday thing to you.
6. He’s making you doubt your own memory
He’s always saying you misinterpreted his words and that he didn’t say what you think he said.
He’s always saying one thing and if you catch him lying, he is telling you another. But here’s the problem.
Those men are such good liars and they always find the way to put things into their use.
He is ready to make you believe he’s never on Facebook and you do believe him—and then you see him scrolling Facebook tomorrow and the day after and after.
But you don’t do anything about it because he will make you believe that’s not true.
The whole point behind this ‘Gaslighting’ thing is that you just stop trying. You’ve endured so much emotional abuse. You’ve been told you’re crazy or that you’re imagining things. You don’t trust your judgment and you’re doubting your actions.
You stop trying and you let him make you believe you’re the one that has the problem—but you’re not. He is—you are just a victim.