12 sinais claros de que você é o que é conhecido como um litromântico
Have you ever been in a situation where you really liked someone to the extent of constantly daydreaming about them, texting them regularly and doing all the other things that people do when they’re crushing on someone? Yes, you probably have been.
Agora, o que é que aconteceu depois de eles terem correspondido a esses sentimentos românticos?
Estava nas nuvens ou sentiu-se tão desconfortável que fugiu deles para salvar a sua vida?
If you couldn’t bear the thought of mutual romantic attraction or amor romântico em qualquer sentido com eles, então talvez sejas um legítimo lithromantic!
Litromântico (também conhecido como akoiromântico ou apromântico) é um orientação romântica no espetro aromático, também conhecido como o espetro assexual.
(O termo akoiromântico foi sugerido como uma alternativa ao litromânticodevido à controvérsia sobre a conveniência de cultura lésbica.)
Contrary to demiromantic, who is a type of grey-romantic who can only experience romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection, lithromantic people don’t desire reciprocation or any kind of romantic relationship with anyone they like.
Now, this doesn’t mean that they’re overly introverted, shy or incapable of establishing communication with other people (and especially someone they like).
Lithromantic individuals usually flirt with other people and they develop romantic feelings for them (or even fall in love with them but when those feelings are reciprocated, aka when they realize they’re also being liked by them, they simply ignore it or run away because they’ve got no desire for love in a relationship and they don’t want their feelings to be reciprocated.
It’s important to mention that this has nothing to do with an individual’s sexual orientation (asexuality, lgbtq etc.), atração sexual ou sentimentos sexuais.
Regardless of whether you’re straight, bisexual, demisexual, pansexual, akoisexual or asexual, you can still be repulsed by romantic connection and fit the definition of being a lithromantic.
And if you’re wondering whether you belong to the crew of lithromantic flag orientation, take a look at the following signs that will tell you whether you’re a legit lithromantic (or something else)!
12 CLEAR SIGNS YOU’RE WHAT’S KNOWN AS A LITHROMANTIC
1. Sente-se emocionalmente indisponível
Muitas pessoas tornam-se emocionalmente indisponíveis depois de um acontecimento traumático, como uma rutura repentina, infidelidade, lidar com psicopatas, narcisistas, jogadores e outros grupos tóxicos.
Quando isso acontece, fechamo-nos instantaneamente e bloqueamos as nossas emoções.
Cria-se um refúgio seguro longe de qualquer tipo de sentimentos românticos, reciprocidade, emoções e amor.
You become emotionally unavailable and even if you start liking someone, you simply can’t do anything about it and you don’t want to do anything about it (especially if they show that they’re also interested in you).
It’s okay to feel like this for some time after a painful event but if you feel like it for a long amount of time and you don’t see that it will ever stop, then you might be what’s known as a lithromantic.
You might have blocked the need for romantic connection out of the fear that you’ll get hurt or disappointed again and that’s why you run for your life when the object of your desire or anyone else shows any sign of affection toward you. And that’s how you entered the zone of lithromanticism.
2. You have no desire to be in a romantic relationship but you can’t explain why
You’re crazy over that one person and they’re on your mind 24/7 but when you think about a romantic relationship with them or any kind of romantic connection, you instantly freeze because it makes you feel totally uncomfortable.
It’s evident that you don’t feel the need and you have no desire to be in a romantic relationship but you can’t explain why.
When people feel strong affection for someone, it’s natural for them to wish that their dreams come true, aka that they will finally get the chance to commit and create something meaningful and if they don’t wish that, they usually know the reason why they’re not ready for it at that moment.
Usually, it’s because they have other priorities and can’t find time to commit to a relationship, they have doubts, or they simply don’t feel ready yet and need more time.
But if you can’t think of any valid reason why you might be feeling this way, the chances are that you’re a legit lithromantic.
Another indication is if it happens often. It’s one thing if you have no desire to be in a particular relationship but it’s a whole different thing if this keeps happening again and again.
Então sabe que a raiz do problema é provavelmente mais profunda do que pensava.
3. You’re repulsed by the idea of romance
Quando vê um casal de mãos dadas ou a beijar-se na rua, sente-se confortável ao estar perto deles? Ou sente-se totalmente enojado e repelido por isso?
If you’re feeling uncomfortable and totally repulsed, then you might be what’s known as a lithromantic who can’t simply comprehend the idea of romance, let alone witness it.
A razão pela qual isto acontece pode ter origem na sua perceção do amor desde a infância.
Por exemplo, se os seus pais não faziam questão de demonstrar sentimentos românticos à sua frente, pode ter desenvolvido uma certa dose de repulsa em relação a isso (embora o mesmo possa acontecer se eles exagerarem na demonstração de sentimentos românticos).
Outra razão pode ser uma rutura má e, como consequência, ser desiludido com o amorO que é que se passa?
Usually, when you’re repulsed by something, there’s a valid reason behind it but often we’re unable to find the root of the problem until we rewind all past events and possibilities.
4. Teme o romance
If you’re not repulsed by the idea of romance, you might instead fear it, which is a whole different concept.
Sabe-se que se tem medo do romance quando a ideia de se abrir a outro ser humano nos assusta de morte.
You know that you fear romance when you’re abnormally scared of even thinking about connecting with another human being because it feels totally weird and terrifying.
Mais uma vez, isto acontece normalmente devido a acontecimentos traumáticos passados, como um desgosto de amor, um amor não correspondido, infidelidade ou ser vítima de qualquer tipo de manipulação.
Por isso, já não se sente segura para pensar sequer em romance, quanto mais para o viver.
It becomes your biggest fear and your biggest nightmare that you don’t know how to overcome or deal with.
5. Só se sente confortável com relações platónicas
Whenever you find someone on online dating sites or in real life and even if you go out on a date, the only type of relationship you’d ever want with them is platonic. It’s the only type of relationship you feel most comfortable with.
So, even if you’re sexually attracted to them or both sexually and romantically attracted, you still don’t do anything about it because you don’t want a reciprocal relationship.
You’re okay with how things are but the other person has no idea about any of it and that’s where the clash occurs.
They start asking you lots of questions because they can’t decipher whether you want something more serious with them or not.
And they often accuse you of playing with their feelings, of course, if they’re really determined about wanting something more with you.
E explicar-lhes tudo isto seria uma verdadeira chatice, por isso, na maioria das vezes, guardamos as coisas para nós próprios e seguimos em frente.
Ver também: The Top 15 Signs You’re In A Queerplatonic Relationship
6. O sentimento de amor romântico desvanece-se com o tempo
Muitas pessoas litromânticas que acabam por entrar numa relação porque têm um certo amor romântico pelo seu parceiro descobrem mais tarde que todo esse amor desapareceu com o tempo.
They lose every trace of romantic feelings for their partner and the only thing that’s left is platonic and sexual feelings for them.
Nalguns casos, o amor romântico regressa de vez em quando, mas nunca é totalmente restaurado.
Por vezes, transforma-se num amor cinzento-romântico que se situa algures entre o afeto forte e a negação.
Há muitos níveis de lithromanticismo em que os indivíduos têm percepções diferentes dos sentimentos românticos e das relações românticas.
Enquanto algumas pessoas sentem uma repulsa total ou receiam qualquer tipo de ligação ou relação emocional, outras decidem entrar numa relação mas, com o tempo, o amor romântico que sentem por elas desaparece devido à sua natureza litromântica.
Quando isso acontece, há duas possibilidades: ou continuam a estar numa relação como litromânticos ou fogem de vez. Tudo depende do nível atual do seu lithromanticismo.
7. You’re repulsed by the idea of physical touch
Being repulsed by the idea of physical touch doesn’t have anything to do with sexual touch or any reference to it.
It’s more about the general idea of toque físico or better said, it’s about romantic touch.
So, if you can’t stand seeing other people holding their hands on the street, hugging or God forbid cuddling in your vicinity, it means you’re repulsed by the idea of physical touch and that’s why you can’t stand being touched by others either.
You have nothing in particular against it but it’s just that the idea of physical touch makes you feel totally uncomfortable.
Todos os lithromantic sentem o mesmo, porque o toque romântico significa ligação, calor e potencial compromisso.
Given that lithromantics don’t need and don’t want to be involved in romantic relationships, they instinctively avoid any type of physical touch and if it happens, they make sure to show their disapproval of it (either by their facial expressions or by using words).
Also, some lithromantics tend to make excuses about why they don’t want to be hugged that day and it’s usually something about having a bad day or similar.
8. You’re not comfortable with any sort of bond with another human being
Todos os lithromanticistas se situam num espetro diferente de lithromanticismo, o que significa que todos têm percepções e experiências únicas.
Alguns deles sentem-se desconfortáveis com uma relação sexual, com uma relação romântica ou com ambas.
E alguns deles não se sentem confortáveis com qualquer tipo de ligação com outro ser humano.
Isto significa evitar conversas significativas e, normalmente, preferir apenas conversa fiada, evitar qualquer tipo de toque físico, evitar ser vulnerável em frente dos outros (e especialmente em frente da pessoa de quem gosta) e, por vezes, arranjar desculpas para o seu comportamento estranho ou semelhante.
Se tudo isto lhe soa familiar, é provável que pertença à tripulação lithromantic.
You’re not comfortable with any sort of bond with another human being because it’s not something that brings you joy and instead it’s utterly tiring and even repulsive to you.
And that’s the main reason why you avoid like the plague every chance to bond with another human.
9. Fantasia sobre relações com personagens de ficção
Dado que ser litromântico significa ter aversão a qualquer tipo de relação romântica ou ligação romântica, muitos litromânticos desenvolvem esta tendência para se apaixonarem por personagens de ficção em vez de pessoas do mundo real.
And the reason why they do it is pretty logical. Some lithromantics tend to fall for their favorite character from the book they’re reading, a movie, TV show or similar.
Apaixonam-se por eles porque sabem, inconscientemente, que nunca terão a oportunidade de desenvolver sentimentos por eles e de tornar as coisas recíprocas.
Their fictional character will always stay fictional, so they don’t need to fear that they will develop a romantic relationship with them, given that it’s something totally unwanted and repulsive to them.
É por isso que alguns indivíduos lirromânticos passam muito tempo a fantasiar constantemente com a sua personagem de ficção favorita, após o que encontram outra e depois outra.
It’s like living in a fairy tale where you can choose to adore anyone you want without fearing that your feelings will be reciprocated.
It’s the perfect safe haven for every lithromantic out there.
10. Não se sente à vontade para falar de alguém de quem gosta
When we’re in a relationship or we ter uma paixoneta por alguém, it’s natural for us to want to share all the details with our close friends and the people we trust.
But when you’re a lithromantic, things are not that simple. Lithromantics feel strong discomfort when talking about their partner or someone they like.
And they feel even greater discomfort when someone is being really persistent in finding out more about their romantic feelings and everything that’s going on in their head.
When that happens, a lithromantic’s feelings for their partner or someone they like might even disappear into thin air because talking about it makes it more real and a lithromantic simply can’t stand that.
They want to keep their feelings just to themselves because by doing so, they’re keeping them private.
But by sharing everything with other people, they’re risking making things look official and that is when they start feeling serious discomfort that can even cause losing their feelings for the person they initially really liked.
If something like this has happened to you, then you know that you’re a legit lithromaniac.
11. Manténs todas as tuas paixonetas em segredo absoluto
Quando gostamos de alguém, é natural que lhe digamos o que sentimos, mesmo que nos arrisquemos a ser gozados com a nossa tentativa romântica.
Some people don’t have a problem with this and they always tend to say how they feel no matter what because they don’t want to feel regret as a consequence of not being brave enough to act on their romantic feelings.
E algumas pessoas, como os lithromantics, mantêm todas as suas paixonetas em segredo, literalmente para o resto da vida.
Similarly to having a crush on fictional characters, by doing so, they’re safe from reciprocity, mutual affection and things like that, which are totally repulsive to all lithromantics out there.
So, you definitely know that you’re a lithromantic if you never, ever even think about telling your crush how you feel and it’s not because you’re afraid of doing so but because you don’t want to.
There’s a huge difference between being a shy person and a lithromantic.
Ser tímido significa querer muito partilhar os seus sentimentos, mas ser incapaz de o fazer devido a pensamentos ansiosos e à possível rejeição.
But being a lithromantic means being perfectly capable of sharing your feelings but not doing so because you simply don’t want to.
12. Começa por desenvolver atração sexual antes da atração romântica
Because of their aversion toward reciprocal romantic feelings, many lithromantics tend to be focused on their sexual attraction and that’s the reason why they develop it first.
If you’re only focused on seeking out sexual partners, it’s because you subconsciously want to avoid developing any kind of romantic attraction toward anyone.
Mas, por vezes, acontece simplesmente. Alguns lithromantics desenvolvem uma forte atração romântica ao fim de algum tempo e alguns deles admitem-no ao seu parceiro e outros não.
Alguns lithromantics precisam de desenvolver primeiro a atração sexual para poderem desenvolver a atração romântica e vice-versa.
Como já foi dito, existem muitos tipos e variações de litromântico orientação e cada um dos litromântico experimenta-o à sua maneira.
If any of the above signs sound familiar to you and especially if the majority of signs sound familiar to you, then you know you’re subconsciously refusing any type of romantic connection for some (unknown) reasons and now you know you’re a litromântico de certeza.
Ver também: 7 Signs You Have Philophobia – The Fear Of Falling In Love
