12 señales claras de que eres lo que se conoce como litromántico
Have you ever been in a situation where you really liked someone to the extent of constantly daydreaming about them, texting them regularly and doing all the other things that people do when they’re crushing on someone? Yes, you probably have been.
Ahora bien, ¿qué pasó después de que correspondieran a esos sentimientos románticos?
¿Estabas en las nubes o te sentías tan incómodo que huías de ellos para salvar tu vida?
If you couldn’t bear the thought of mutual romantic attraction or amor romántico en algún sentido con ellos, ¡entonces puede que seas un litromántico legítimo!
Litromántico (también conocido como akoiromantic o apromántico) es una orientación romántica en el espectro aromático, alias el espectro asexual.
(El término akoiromantic se ha sugerido como alternativa a litrománticodebido a la controversia sobre la conveniencia de cultura lésbica.)
Contrary to demiromantic, who is a type of grey-romantic who can only experience romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection, lithromantic people don’t desire reciprocation or any kind of romantic relationship with anyone they like.
Now, this doesn’t mean that they’re overly introverted, shy or incapable of establishing communication with other people (and especially someone they like).
Lithromantic individuals usually flirt with other people and they develop romantic feelings for them (or even fall in love with them but when those feelings are reciprocated, aka when they realize they’re also being liked by them, they simply ignore it or run away because they’ve got no desire for love in a relationship and they don’t want their feelings to be reciprocated.
It’s important to mention that this has nothing to do with an individual’s sexual orientation (asexuality, lgbtq etc.), atracción sexual o sentimientos sexuales.
Regardless of whether you’re straight, bisexual, demisexual, pansexual, akoisexual or asexual, you can still be repulsed by romantic connection and fit the definition of being a lithromantic.
And if you’re wondering whether you belong to the crew of lithromantic flag orientation, take a look at the following signs that will tell you whether you’re a legit lithromantic (or something else)!
12 CLEAR SIGNS YOU’RE WHAT’S KNOWN AS A LITHROMANTIC
1. Sientes emocionalmente no disponible
Muchas personas se vuelven emocionalmente inaccesibles después de algún acontecimiento traumático, como una ruptura repentina, una infidelidad, el trato con psicópatas, narcisistas, jugadores y otras tripulaciones tóxicas.
Cuando eso ocurre, te cierras instantáneamente y encierras tus emociones.
Creas un refugio seguro lejos de cualquier tipo de sentimientos románticos, reciprocidad, emociones y amor.
You become emotionally unavailable and even if you start liking someone, you simply can’t do anything about it and you don’t want to do anything about it (especially if they show that they’re also interested in you).
It’s okay to feel like this for some time after a painful event but if you feel like it for a long amount of time and you don’t see that it will ever stop, then you might be what’s known as a lithromantic.
You might have blocked the need for romantic connection out of the fear that you’ll get hurt or disappointed again and that’s why you run for your life when the object of your desire or anyone else shows any sign of affection toward you. And that’s how you entered the zone of lithromanticism.
2. You have no desire to be in a romantic relationship but you can’t explain why
You’re crazy over that one person and they’re on your mind 24/7 but when you think about a romantic relationship with them or any kind of romantic connection, you instantly freeze because it makes you feel totally uncomfortable.
It’s evident that you don’t feel the need and you have no desire to be in a romantic relationship but you can’t explain why.
When people feel strong affection for someone, it’s natural for them to wish that their dreams come true, aka that they will finally get the chance to commit and create something meaningful and if they don’t wish that, they usually know the reason why they’re not ready for it at that moment.
Usually, it’s because they have other priorities and can’t find time to commit to a relationship, they have doubts, or they simply don’t feel ready yet and need more time.
But if you can’t think of any valid reason why you might be feeling this way, the chances are that you’re a legit lithromantic.
Another indication is if it happens often. It’s one thing if you have no desire to be in a particular relationship but it’s a whole different thing if this keeps happening again and again.
Entonces sabrás que la raíz del problema es probablemente más profunda de lo que pensabas.
3. You’re repulsed by the idea of romance
Cuando ves a una pareja cogida de la mano o besándose por la calle, ¿te sientes cómodo estando cerca de ellos? ¿O te da asco y repulsión?
If you’re feeling uncomfortable and totally repulsed, then you might be what’s known as a lithromantic who can’t simply comprehend the idea of romance, let alone witness it.
La razón de que esto sea así puede deberse a su percepción del amor desde su más tierna infancia.
Por ejemplo, si tus padres no eran muy dados a mostrar nunca sentimientos románticos delante de ti, es posible que hayas desarrollado cierta dosis de repulsión hacia ello (aunque lo mismo puede ocurrir si se exceden mostrando sentimientos románticos).
Otra razón podría ser una mala ruptura y como consecuencia ser decepcionado en el amor...afecto y cualquier tipo de romance.
Usually, when you’re repulsed by something, there’s a valid reason behind it but often we’re unable to find the root of the problem until we rewind all past events and possibilities.
4. Temes el romance
If you’re not repulsed by the idea of romance, you might instead fear it, which is a whole different concept.
Sabes que tienes miedo al romance cuando la idea de abrirte a otro ser humano simplemente te asusta hasta la muerte.
You know that you fear romance when you’re abnormally scared of even thinking about connecting with another human being because it feels totally weird and terrifying.
De nuevo, esto suele ocurrir debido a acontecimientos traumáticos pasados, como un desamor, un amor no correspondido, una infidelidad o ser víctima de cualquier tipo de manipulación.
Por eso, ya no te sientes segura ni siquiera para pensar en el romance, y mucho menos para experimentarlo.
It becomes your biggest fear and your biggest nightmare that you don’t know how to overcome or deal with.
5. Te sientes cómodo sólo con relaciones platónicas
Whenever you find someone on online dating sites or in real life and even if you go out on a date, the only type of relationship you’d ever want with them is platonic. It’s the only type of relationship you feel most comfortable with.
So, even if you’re sexually attracted to them or both sexually and romantically attracted, you still don’t do anything about it because you don’t want a reciprocal relationship.
You’re okay with how things are but the other person has no idea about any of it and that’s where the clash occurs.
They start asking you lots of questions because they can’t decipher whether you want something more serious with them or not.
And they often accuse you of playing with their feelings, of course, if they’re really determined about wanting something more with you.
Y explicarles todo esto sería un auténtico coñazo, así que la mayoría de las veces te guardas las cosas para ti y sigues adelante.
Véase también: The Top 15 Signs You’re In A Queerplatonic Relationship
6. El sentimiento de amor romántico se desvanece con el tiempo
Muchas personas litrománticas que acaban manteniendo una relación porque sienten cierto amor romántico por su pareja descubren más tarde que todo se ha desvanecido con el tiempo.
They lose every trace of romantic feelings for their partner and the only thing that’s left is platonic and sexual feelings for them.
En algunos casos, el amor romántico vuelve a ellos de vez en cuando, pero nunca se restablece del todo.
A veces, se convierte en un amor gris-romántico que está a medio camino entre el afecto fuerte y la negación.
Existen muchos niveles de litromanticismo en los que los individuos experimentan distintas percepciones de los sentimientos románticos y las relaciones románticas.
Mientras que algunas personas sienten repulsión total o temen cualquier tipo de conexión o relación emocional, otras deciden entablar una relación pero, con el tiempo, el amor romántico que sienten por ellas desaparece debido a su naturaleza litromántica.
Cuando eso ocurre, hay dos posibilidades: o siguen en una relación como litrománticos o huyen definitivamente. Todo depende del nivel actual de su litromanticismo.
7. You’re repulsed by the idea of physical touch
Being repulsed by the idea of physical touch doesn’t have anything to do with sexual touch or any reference to it.
It’s more about the general idea of contacto físico or better said, it’s about romantic touch.
So, if you can’t stand seeing other people holding their hands on the street, hugging or God forbid cuddling in your vicinity, it means you’re repulsed by the idea of physical touch and that’s why you can’t stand being touched by others either.
You have nothing in particular against it but it’s just that the idea of physical touch makes you feel totally uncomfortable.
Todos los litrománticos sienten lo mismo, porque el contacto romántico significa conexión, calidez y compromiso potencial.
Given that lithromantics don’t need and don’t want to be involved in romantic relationships, they instinctively avoid any type of physical touch and if it happens, they make sure to show their disapproval of it (either by their facial expressions or by using words).
Also, some lithromantics tend to make excuses about why they don’t want to be hugged that day and it’s usually something about having a bad day or similar.
8. You’re not comfortable with any sort of bond with another human being
Cada litromántico se sitúa en un espectro diferente del litromanticismo, lo que significa que todos tienen percepciones y experiencias únicas.
Algunos se sienten incómodos con una relación sexual, romántica o con ambas.
Y algunos de ellos no se sienten cómodos con ningún tipo de conexión con otro ser humano.
Esto significa evitar conversaciones significativas y normalmente preferir sólo charlas triviales, evitar cualquier tipo de contacto físico, evitar mostrarse vulnerable delante de los demás (y especialmente delante de la persona que le gusta) y a veces poner excusas por su comportamiento extraño o similar.
Si algo de esto le resulta familiar, lo más probable es que pertenezca a la tripulación litromántica.
You’re not comfortable with any sort of bond with another human being because it’s not something that brings you joy and instead it’s utterly tiring and even repulsive to you.
And that’s the main reason why you avoid like the plague every chance to bond with another human.
9. Fantasea con relaciones con personajes de ficción
Dado que ser litromántico significa tener aversión hacia cualquier tipo de relación o conexión romántica, muchos litrománticos desarrollan esta tendencia a enamorarse de personajes de ficción en lugar de personas del mundo real.
And the reason why they do it is pretty logical. Some lithromantics tend to fall for their favorite character from the book they’re reading, a movie, TV show or similar.
Se enamoran de ellos porque inconscientemente saben que nunca tendrán la oportunidad de desarrollar sentimientos hacia ellos y hacer que las cosas sean recíprocas.
Their fictional character will always stay fictional, so they don’t need to fear that they will develop a romantic relationship with them, given that it’s something totally unwanted and repulsive to them.
Por eso algunas personas litrománticas pasan mucho tiempo fantaseando constantemente con su personaje de ficción favorito, tras lo cual encuentran otro y luego otro.
It’s like living in a fairy tale where you can choose to adore anyone you want without fearing that your feelings will be reciprocated.
It’s the perfect safe haven for every lithromantic out there.
10. Te sientes incómodo hablando de alguien que te gusta
When we’re in a relationship or we enamorarse de alguien, it’s natural for us to want to share all the details with our close friends and the people we trust.
But when you’re a lithromantic, things are not that simple. Lithromantics feel strong discomfort when talking about their partner or someone they like.
And they feel even greater discomfort when someone is being really persistent in finding out more about their romantic feelings and everything that’s going on in their head.
When that happens, a lithromantic’s feelings for their partner or someone they like might even disappear into thin air because talking about it makes it more real and a lithromantic simply can’t stand that.
They want to keep their feelings just to themselves because by doing so, they’re keeping them private.
But by sharing everything with other people, they’re risking making things look official and that is when they start feeling serious discomfort that can even cause losing their feelings for the person they initially really liked.
If something like this has happened to you, then you know that you’re a legit lithromaniac.
11. Mantienes todos tus enamoramientos en completo secreto
Cuando nos gusta alguien, nos sale de forma natural decirle lo que sentimos aunque corramos el riesgo de que se rían de nosotros con nuestro intento romántico.
Some people don’t have a problem with this and they always tend to say how they feel no matter what because they don’t want to feel regret as a consequence of not being brave enough to act on their romantic feelings.
Y algunas personas, como los litrománticos, mantienen todos sus enamoramientos en completo secreto, literalmente para el resto de su vida.
Similarly to having a crush on fictional characters, by doing so, they’re safe from reciprocity, mutual affection and things like that, which are totally repulsive to all lithromantics out there.
So, you definitely know that you’re a lithromantic if you never, ever even think about telling your crush how you feel and it’s not because you’re afraid of doing so but because you don’t want to.
There’s a huge difference between being a shy person and a lithromantic.
Ser tímido significa tener tantas ganas de compartir tus sentimientos pero ser incapaz de hacerlo debido a pensamientos ansiosos y al posible rechazo.
But being a lithromantic means being perfectly capable of sharing your feelings but not doing so because you simply don’t want to.
12. Primero desarrolla atracción sexual antes de la atracción romántica
Because of their aversion toward reciprocal romantic feelings, many lithromantics tend to be focused on their sexual attraction and that’s the reason why they develop it first.
If you’re only focused on seeking out sexual partners, it’s because you subconsciously want to avoid developing any kind of romantic attraction toward anyone.
Pero a veces simplemente ocurre. Algunos lithromantics desarrollan una fuerte atracción romántica después de algún tiempo y algunos de ellos lo admiten a su pareja y otros no.
Algunos litrománticos necesitan desarrollar primero la atracción sexual para poder desarrollar la atracción romántica y viceversa.
Como ya se ha dicho, hay muchos tipos y variaciones de litromántico orientación y cada litromántico lo experimenta a su manera.
If any of the above signs sound familiar to you and especially if the majority of signs sound familiar to you, then you know you’re subconsciously refusing any type of romantic connection for some (unknown) reasons and now you know you’re a litromántico seguro.
Véase también: 7 Signs You Have Philophobia – The Fear Of Falling In Love
