12 chiari segni che sei un litomane

Have you ever been in a situation where you really liked someone to the extent of constantly daydreaming about them, texting them regularly and doing all the other things that people do when they’re crushing on someone? Yes, you probably have been. 

Ora, cosa è successo dopo che hanno ricambiato i sentimenti romantici?

Eravate al settimo cielo o eravate così a disagio da fuggire da loro?

If you couldn’t bear the thought of mutual romantic attraction or amore romantico in qualche modo con loro, allora potresti essere un litromante legittimo! 

Litromantico (noto anche come akoiromantico o apromantico) è un orientamento romantico sul spettro aromatico, alias il spettro asessuale.

(Il termine akoiromantico è stata suggerita come alternativa a litromanticoa causa di una controversia sull'opportunità di cultura lesbica.) 

Contrary to demiromantic, who is a type of grey-romantic who can only experience romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection, lithromantic people don’t desire reciprocation or any kind of romantic relationship with anyone they like. 

Now, this doesn’t mean that they’re overly introverted, shy or incapable of establishing communication with other people (and especially someone they like). 

Lithromantic individuals usually flirt with other people and they develop romantic feelings for them (or even fall in love with them but when those feelings are reciprocated, aka when they realize they’re also being liked by them, they simply ignore it or run away because they’ve got no desire for love in a relationship and they don’t want their feelings to be reciprocated.

It’s important to mention that this has nothing to do with an individual’s sexual orientation (asexuality, lgbtq ecc.), attrazione sessuale o sentimenti sessuali.

Regardless of whether you’re straight, bisexual, demisexual, pansexual, akoisexual or asexual, you can still be repulsed by romantic connection and fit the definition of being a lithromantic. 

And if you’re wondering whether you belong to the crew of lithromantic flag orientation, take a look at the following signs that will tell you whether you’re a legit lithromantic (or something else)!

12 CLEAR SIGNS YOU’RE WHAT’S KNOWN AS A LITHROMANTIC

1. Vi sentite emotivamente non disponibile

Molte persone diventano emotivamente indisponibili dopo un evento traumatico come una rottura improvvisa, un'infedeltà, un rapporto con psicopatici, narcisisti, giocatori e altre persone tossiche.

Quando ciò accade, ci si chiude immediatamente in se stessi e si bloccano le proprie emozioni.

Si crea un rifugio sicuro lontano da qualsiasi tipo di sentimento romantico, reciprocità, emozioni e amore.

You become emotionally unavailable and even if you start liking someone, you simply can’t do anything about it and you don’t want to do anything about it (especially if they show that they’re also interested in you). 

It’s okay to feel like this for some time after a painful event but if you feel like it for a long amount of time and you don’t see that it will ever stop, then you might be what’s known as a lithromantic.

You might have blocked the need for romantic connection out of the fear that you’ll get hurt or disappointed again and that’s why you run for your life when the object of your desire or anyone else shows any sign of affection toward you. And that’s how you entered the zone of lithromanticism.

2. You have no desire to be in a romantic relationship but you can’t explain why

You’re crazy over that one person and they’re on your mind 24/7 but when you think about a romantic relationship with them or any kind of romantic connection, you instantly freeze because it makes you feel totally uncomfortable.

It’s evident that you don’t feel the need and you have no desire to be in a romantic relationship but you can’t explain why.

When people feel strong affection for someone, it’s natural for them to wish that their dreams come true, aka that they will finally get the chance to commit and create something meaningful and if they don’t wish that, they usually know the reason why they’re not ready for it at that moment. 

Usually, it’s because they have other priorities and can’t find time to commit to a relationship, they have doubts, or they simply don’t feel ready yet and need more time.

But if you can’t think of any valid reason why you might be feeling this way, the chances are that you’re a legit lithromantic. 

Another indication is if it happens often. It’s one thing if you have no desire to be in a particular relationship but it’s a whole different thing if this keeps happening again and again.

Allora sapete che la radice del problema è probabilmente più profonda di quanto pensavate.

3. You’re repulsed by the idea of romance

Quando vedete una coppia che si tiene per mano o si bacia per strada, vi sentite a vostro agio nelle loro vicinanze? Oppure ne siete totalmente disgustati e respinti? 

If you’re feeling uncomfortable and totally repulsed, then you might be what’s known as a lithromantic who can’t simply comprehend the idea of romance, let alone witness it.

Il motivo di questa situazione può derivare dalla percezione che avete dell'amore fin dalla prima infanzia.

Per esempio, se i vostri genitori non erano molto propensi a manifestare sentimenti romantici davanti a voi, potreste aver sviluppato una certa dose di repulsione nei loro confronti (anche se la stessa cosa può accadere se esagerano nel manifestare sentimenti romantici). 

Un'altra ragione potrebbe essere una brutta rottura e, di conseguenza, l'essere deluso dall'amore, l'affetto e qualsiasi tipo di romanticismo.

Usually, when you’re repulsed by something, there’s a valid reason behind it but often we’re unable to find the root of the problem until we rewind all past events and possibilities.

4. Temete il romanticismo

If you’re not repulsed by the idea of romance, you might instead fear it, which is a whole different concept.

Sapete di temere il romanticismo quando l'idea di aprirvi a un altro essere umano vi spaventa a morte. 

You know that you fear romance when you’re abnormally scared of even thinking about connecting with another human being because it feels totally weird and terrifying. 

Anche in questo caso, ciò avviene di solito a causa di eventi traumatici del passato, come una rottura del cuore, un amore non corrisposto, un'infedeltà o l'essere vittima di qualsiasi tipo di manipolazione.

Per questo motivo, non ci si sente più sicuri nemmeno a pensare al romanticismo, figuriamoci a viverlo.

It becomes your biggest fear and your biggest nightmare that you don’t know how to overcome or deal with.

5. Vi sentite a vostro agio solo con relazioni platoniche

Whenever you find someone on online dating sites or in real life and even if you go out on a date, the only type of relationship you’d ever want with them is platonic. It’s the only type of relationship you feel most comfortable with.

So, even if you’re sexually attracted to them or both sexually and romantically attracted, you still don’t do anything about it because you don’t want a reciprocal relationship.

You’re okay with how things are but the other person has no idea about any of it and that’s where the clash occurs.

They start asking you lots of questions because they can’t decipher whether you want something more serious with them or not.

And they often accuse you of playing with their feelings, of course, if they’re really determined about wanting something more with you. 

E spiegare loro tutto questo sarebbe una vera e propria rottura di scatole, quindi la maggior parte delle volte ci si tiene le cose per sé e si va avanti.

Vedi anche: The Top 15 Signs You’re In A Queerplatonic Relationship

6. Il sentimento di amore romantico svanisce con il tempo 

Molte persone litromantiche che finiscono in una relazione perché hanno una certa dose di amore romantico per il loro partner, scoprono poi che tutto questo amore è svanito nel tempo.

They lose every trace of romantic feelings for their partner and the only thing that’s left is platonic and sexual feelings for them. 

In alcuni casi, l'amore romantico ritorna di tanto in tanto, ma non viene mai ripristinato completamente.

A volte, si trasforma in un amore grigio-romantico che si colloca a metà strada tra il forte affetto e il rifiuto. 

Esistono molti livelli di litromanticismo, in cui gli individui sperimentano percezioni diverse dei sentimenti e delle relazioni romantiche.

Mentre alcune persone sono totalmente respinte o temono qualsiasi tipo di legame o relazione emotiva, altre decidono di intraprendere una relazione ma, col tempo, l'amore romantico per loro scompare a causa della loro natura litromantica. 

Quando ciò accade, ci sono due possibilità: o continuano a vivere una relazione come litromantici o scappano per sempre. Tutto dipende dal livello attuale del loro litromanticismo.

7. You’re repulsed by the idea of physical touch

Being repulsed by the idea of physical touch doesn’t have anything to do with sexual touch or any reference to it.

It’s more about the general idea of tocco fisico or better said, it’s about romantic touch.

So, if you can’t stand seeing other people holding their hands on the street, hugging or God forbid cuddling in your vicinity, it means you’re repulsed by the idea of physical touch and that’s why you can’t stand being touched by others either.

You have nothing in particular against it but it’s just that the idea of physical touch makes you feel totally uncomfortable.

Ogni litromantico si sente allo stesso modo, perché il tocco romantico significa connessione, calore e potenziale impegno. 

Given that lithromantics don’t need and don’t want to be involved in romantic relationships, they instinctively avoid any type of physical touch and if it happens, they make sure to show their disapproval of it (either by their facial expressions or by using words). 

Also, some lithromantics tend to make excuses about why they don’t want to be hugged that day and it’s usually something about having a bad day or similar. 

8. You’re not comfortable with any sort of bond with another human being

Ogni litromantico si colloca su uno spettro diverso di litromanticismo, il che significa che tutti hanno percezioni ed esperienze uniche.

Alcuni di loro non si sentono a proprio agio con una relazione sessuale, con una relazione romantica o con entrambe. 

E alcuni di loro non si sentono a proprio agio con qualsiasi tipo di connessione con un altro essere umano.

Questo significa evitare le conversazioni significative e di solito preferire solo le chiacchiere, evitare qualsiasi tipo di contatto fisico, evitare di essere vulnerabili di fronte agli altri (e soprattutto di fronte alla persona che piace) e a volte trovare scuse per i propri comportamenti strani o simili.

Se tutto questo vi suona familiare, è probabile che apparteniate al gruppo dei litromantici.

You’re not comfortable with any sort of bond with another human being because it’s not something that brings you joy and instead it’s utterly tiring and even repulsive to you.

And that’s the main reason why you avoid like the plague every chance to bond with another human.

9. Fantasticare su relazioni con personaggi di fantasia

Dato che essere litromantici significa avere un'avversione per qualsiasi tipo di relazione o legame sentimentale, molti litromantici sviluppano questa tendenza a innamorarsi di personaggi di fantasia invece che di persone del mondo reale.

And the reason why they do it is pretty logical. Some lithromantics tend to fall for their favorite character from the book they’re reading, a movie, TV show or similar.

Si innamorano di loro perché sanno inconsciamente che non avranno mai la possibilità di sviluppare sentimenti per loro e di rendere le cose reciproche.

Their fictional character will always stay fictional, so they don’t need to fear that they will develop a romantic relationship with them, given that it’s something totally unwanted and repulsive to them.

Ecco perché alcuni litromantici passano molto tempo a fantasticare costantemente sul loro personaggio di fantasia preferito, per poi trovarne un altro e poi un altro ancora. 

It’s like living in a fairy tale where you can choose to adore anyone you want without fearing that your feelings will be reciprocated.

It’s the perfect safe haven for every lithromantic out there.

10. Vi sentite a disagio nel parlare di qualcuno che vi piace

When we’re in a relationship or we avere una cotta per qualcuno, it’s natural for us to want to share all the details with our close friends and the people we trust.

But when you’re a lithromantic, things are not that simple. Lithromantics feel strong discomfort when talking about their partner or someone they like.

And they feel even greater discomfort when someone is being really persistent in finding out more about their romantic feelings and everything that’s going on in their head.

When that happens, a lithromantic’s feelings for their partner or someone they like might even disappear into thin air because talking about it makes it more real and a lithromantic simply can’t stand that.

They want to keep their feelings just to themselves because by doing so, they’re keeping them private.

But by sharing everything with other people, they’re risking making things look official and that is when they start feeling serious discomfort that can even cause losing their feelings for the person they initially really liked.

If something like this has happened to you, then you know that you’re a legit lithromaniac.

11. Mantenete un segreto assoluto su tutte le vostre cotte.

Quando ci piace qualcuno, ci viene spontaneo dirgli quello che proviamo, anche se rischiamo di essere derisi per il nostro tentativo romantico.

Some people don’t have a problem with this and they always tend to say how they feel no matter what because they don’t want to feel regret as a consequence of not being brave enough to act on their romantic feelings.

E alcuni, come i litromantici, tengono tutte le loro cotte in segreto, letteralmente per il resto della loro vita.

Similarly to having a crush on fictional characters, by doing so, they’re safe from reciprocity, mutual affection and things like that, which are totally repulsive to all lithromantics out there.

So, you definitely know that you’re a lithromantic if you never, ever even think about telling your crush how you feel and it’s not because you’re afraid of doing so but because you don’t want to.

There’s a huge difference between being a shy person and a lithromantic. 

Essere timidi significa desiderare ardentemente di condividere i propri sentimenti, ma non poterlo fare a causa dei pensieri ansiosi e del possibile rifiuto.

But being a lithromantic means being perfectly capable of sharing your feelings but not doing so because you simply don’t want to.

12. Sviluppate per la prima volta attrazione sessuale prima dell'attrazione romantica

Because of their aversion toward reciprocal romantic feelings, many lithromantics tend to be focused on their sexual attraction and that’s the reason why they develop it first.

If you’re only focused on seeking out sexual partners, it’s because you subconsciously want to avoid developing any kind of romantic attraction toward anyone.

Ma a volte succede e basta. Alcuni litromantici sviluppano una forte attrazione romantica dopo qualche tempo e alcuni di loro lo ammettono al proprio partner, altri no.

Alcuni litromanti devono prima sviluppare un'attrazione sessuale per poter sviluppare un'attrazione romantica e viceversa.

Come già detto, esistono molti tipi e varianti di litromantico orientamento e ogni singolo litromantico lo sperimentano a modo loro. 

If any of the above signs sound familiar to you and especially if the majority of signs sound familiar to you, then you know you’re subconsciously refusing any type of romantic connection for some (unknown) reasons and now you know you’re a litromantico di sicuro.

Vedi anche: 7 Signs You Have Philophobia – The Fear Of Falling In Love