13 sinais de que ele está emocionalmente ligado a você + um guia sobre apego

Estar emocionalmente ligado a alguém especial é a melhor sensação do mundo - especialmente se a outra pessoa sentir o mesmo. No entanto, frequentemente, o apego pode tornar-se doentio num estalar de dedos.

Mas como é que sabe qual é o seu estilo de vinculação? Está realmente apaixonado ou sente apenas a necessidade de amor?

Is there a way to tell if someone is attached to you? What’s the difference between love and attachment?

Há situações em que se tem um ligação emocional intensa with someone but you have a hard time defining it. Also, you can’t seem to figure out if your feelings are reciprocated.

Well, in that case, you need the help of an expert and you’ve come to the right place. Here is everything you need to know about attachment including the signs that someone’s emotionally attached to you.

Significado de ligação emocional

Antes de irmos ao que interessa, temos de ser claros sobre o que ligação emocional é.

In simple words, the emotional attachment means feeling strong affection for someone and more. You have this uncontrollable urge to be next to this person and let’s not forget the powerful bond you two share.

A possessividade também caracteriza este tipo de ligação na maioria dos casos. Quer esta pessoa só para si e só de pensar que ela não sente o mesmo faz com que se perca.

But this doesn’t mean that being attached to someone is necessarily a bad thing- it all depends on what you do with your feelings.

If your feelings aren’t reciprocated, there is definitely a possibility of hell breaking loose. On the other hand, this kind of emotional connection can also be uma base para uma relação saudável.

Tipos de ligação emocional

Relationships are difficult as it is, but to make things even worse—which you kind of expected because nothing can go smoothly—there are 3 different types of attachment when it comes to men:

Ligação de amigos

O apego aos amigos é muito comum. Começa a construir uma relação com ele, mas os sentimentos dele por si continuam a ser apenas platónicos.

Este é definitivamente um alerta sobre o zoneamento amigo. You can forget about having a romantic relationship with him. He has blocked you in that way and once you get blocked, there’s no way of getting unblocked.

Yes, the truth is that you two shouldn’t be lovers only if you plan on having something serious- you should also be best friends. But in this case, you’re nothing but good friends and that’s the whole problem.

The issue about this is that usually, a friend attachment starts off similarly to an emotional one. It’s quite difficult to tell these two apart, especially if you’re the one who wants something more.

Nesta situação, deixar-se levar é canja. Aqui tem um homem que quer passar tempo consigo, que valoriza a sua opinião e que, obviamente, sente algo por si.

Naturalmente, parte-se do princípio de que ele está a apaixonar-se por si. Depois, do nada, aparecem as suas histórias sobre outras mulheres.

No início, convence-se de que ele está a fazer tudo isto para lhe provocar ciúmes. No entanto, rapidamente se apercebe que este homem a vê como sua amiga e essa perceção atinge-a como um duche frio.

Yes, the truth is that he loves and appreciates you. But that’s how everyone feels about their real friends.

If this is something you can relate to, I can give you one piece of advice only: back off! Don’t torment yourself by staying next to him just because you hope that one of these days he’ll finally start seeing you as material de namorada.

Ligação física

Physical attachment is based solely on your looks and chemistry. It happens when you’re exclusively led by your hormones, desires, and primal instincts.

Mas, como sabeis, química real não é suficiente se quisermos ter uma relação séria.

You can start with it, but after the honeymoon phase is over, the chemistry will fade and you’re left with nothing.

O vosso sexo pode ser ótimo no início, mas ao fim de algum tempo, isso também se irá desmoronar.

Nevertheless, just because this isn’t a real deal- it doesn’t mean that it can’t rock your world.

Ligação romântica

Finally, the thing you’re here for: romantic attachment. Love attachment is something you should be interested in. That is the real deal.

This is the kind of attachment that encompasses both friend and physical attachment- because you can’t be real partners if you aren’t friends and if you don’t share strong chemistry.

Este tipo de ligação é a fase final em que se pode ter a certeza absoluta de que um homem quer ser o seu pessoa para sempre. It’s something you’ll have and feel for the rest of your life.

Ser capaz de atingir este nível de ligação mostra que tanto o indivíduo como o seu potencial parceiro romântico são emocionalmente maduro. Esta é a coroa da vossa relação e a base mais forte possível para uma relação saudável e um amor verdadeiro.

Como é que os homens se apegam emocionalmente?

Os homens, bem, são uma história completamente diferente. Não se diz que somos dois mundos completamente diferentes por acaso.

Há uma boa razão para isso. As mulheres são seres verbais e gostam de se exprimir por palavras, enquanto os homens escondem os seus verdadeiros sentimentos, o facto de estarem emocionalmente ligados.

Chegue à raiz das suas emoções e faça com que ele se abra consigo como nunca o fez antes com A sua obsessão secreta, um guia fantástico para a psique e os instintos masculinos.

Guardam-no para dentro porque a maioria dos homens não é muito boa com as palavras. Talvez têm medo da rejeição ou humilhação se os sentimentos não forem correspondidos.

Assim, elas mostrarão se estão atraídas por si, mas de uma forma subtil, com pequenos sinais adoráveis.

Cabe-lhe a si descodificá-las e ver se ele quer que responda.

Give them a break—it’s not that easy to court a girl if you are not sure she likes you back, especially if the man is just another nice guy scared to do something stupid and lose you.

Actually, when you think about it, these signs will also tell you if he is a nice guy or a bad boy because bad boys don’t have the time to do these things.

Eles vão directos ao assunto e, normalmente, esse assunto deixa-o sozinho e de coração partido.

Por isso, se vir estes sinais, não só pode ter a certeza de que ele está ligado a si e gosta de si, como também pode ter a certeza de que ele é um bom rapaz.

Com o Sistema de devoção, you’ll get his attention and his devotion – for as long as you want it.

Sinais de que um homem está emocionalmente ligado a si

Women are open books when it comes to their feelings. We are just that type of people. When we like someone, when we are attached to them, we’ll let them know.

We’ll be straightforward because there is no point in wasting any time—you have to get down to business right away.

Ele gosta de passar tempo consigo

Este é um dos sinais mais evidentes de que ele está apegado a si.

Ele utilizará o seu tempo livre, normalmente reservado ao descanso, para si.

Ele vai sair consigo porque gosta de si e, sem dúvida, sente algo por si.

I know, some of you may say it’s because he thinks he can have sex with you, but what if you’ve taken sex off the table? What then?

Se ele continua a sair consigo, isso significa que está consigo apenas porque está interessado em aproveitar-se de si?

You see, it doesn’t because he really has no ulterior motive. Your relationship is not physical, it’s not sexual because you are not friends with benefits, so you can be sure he is not in it for the sex. He is in it because he likes you.

Ele contacta-o constantemente

Not a day can go by that he doesn’t call or text you. Isn’t this adorable? He wants to see if you’re okay and he wants to let you know he’s thinking about you, that he’s missing you.

Eu sei que isto parece um pouco insistente e perseguidor, mas não se for adorável. Há uma grande diferença entre ser arrepiante ao telefone e ser absolutamente giro.

If you like him and if he doesn’t bother you by wanting to see your every move, if he isn’t acting possessive, then it’s just adorable.

He genuinely wants to see if you are okay and in the end, he just wants to say “hi” and show you he exists and is a pensar em si.

Ele só está interessado em si

Ele está a concentrar toda a sua energia em si. Podes ter a certeza de que és a única mulher para ele.

He is spending all this time with you; he’s calling and texting you just to see what you’ve been up to and most importantly, he is not dating other people.

Pode ter a certeza de que ele está apaixonado por si e quer ter algo consigo.

Ele está a ir muito além

Quem é que não gosta de prendas e jantares no Dia dos Namorados? A maior parte dos homens sabe o que vai receber e está à espera disso.

But, what if your guy can’t afford all those beautiful things he gives you, all those beautiful places he takes you to?

Well, if he does it anyway, then he is really giving everything he’s got to win you over. You mean that much to him.

Ele olha para ti de uma forma especial

You just know this kind of a look. Once you see it, you know it’s the look that says ele quer-te a ti e só a ti. Vê-se amor nos seus olhos, vê-se admiração.

O rosto dele está tranquilo e feliz enquanto olha para ti. Consegue-se ver que é mesmo assim.

This look cannot be faked. You can be a world-winning actor but you can’t fake that look.

Nem sequer um narcisista disfarçado can fake this look. It’s genuine and you’ll know it when you see it.

Ele põe-te sempre em primeiro lugar

Let’s get one thing straight. If he doesn’t put you first and if ele age de forma egoísta, you can be sure he is not the man who’ll stick around longer.

If he only takes care of himself and his needs, he’s probably even a selfish lover, and he is not the man for you.

Don’t think that a man who only thinks about himself is going to take you to a restaurant or actually pay any attention to you.

Mas, um homem que está disposto a fazer tudo por si e que se preocupa com as suas necessidades e consigo, em geral, é o homem que está ligado a si e que quer estar consigo.

Apresenta-o à sua família e amigos

Um dos sinais mais importantes de que ele está interessado em si and wants to be with you is when he insists on you meeting the most important people in his life—his friends and his family.

Ele gosta tanto de si que quer mostrá-la aos seus entes queridos.

He wants to get their approval, but even if he doesn’t, that won’t stop him because emotional attachment is not something you can easily forget.

Ele pede a sua opinião

Ele preocupa-se mesmo com o que tu pensas. Sempre que precisa de ajuda, sabe que pode recorrer a si. Ele sabe que não o vai julgar nem lhe vai dizer "eu bem te disse".

He knows you’ll help him as much as you can. When he needs advice, he will seek yours because he knows that you will do your best to give him a suggestion that is in his interest.

He likes the way you think and he respects your thoughts—that’s why he wants to hear your opinion.

Ele está mais perto de si

Ele não está a fazer isto de propósito. É apenas a lei da atração e ele sente-se muito atraído por si.

Whenever he is close to you, he can’t help but lean to you because he wants to be with you and his body wants it, too.

He will never ambush you and capture you, so you don’t have anywhere to go if you don’t want him to lean to you.

Ele deixa-lhe sempre um pouco de espaço para que possa recuar se se sentir desconfortável.

He is not pretending to be something he’s not

Perto de si, ele é o seu verdadeiro eu. Ele não quer fingir ser algo que não é.

Este é mais um sinal da sua atraçãode ligação romântica.

He wants to be himself because he knows you won’t judge him. He doesn’t want to play you because you mean so much to him and he refuses to gamble away the chance of being with you.

He knows that masks fall sooner or later and he doesn’t want to risk it. Either you like him or you don’t.

Ele move montanhas por ti

There is nothing he can’t do for you; nothing is too difficult. It is not because he is a sucker. He enjoys it because he is emotionally connected to you.

He loves you and it’s not a problem to do anything you need him to do. He will use extra effort to take you out on a nice date.

Ele tentará realmente planear as coisas da melhor forma possível para que possa ser feliz.

Ele é honesto

Ele abre-se para si and there are no secrets. I mean, he won’t tell you his whole life story the moment he meets you, but when your relationship becomes more complex, he won’t hide anything from you.

Ele responderá a todas as perguntas que lhe fizeres porque, quando estás em cena, toda a sua vida é um livro aberto.

Ele sabe que os mentirosos serão sempre rotulados como mentirosos.

Even if they repent for their lies, no one will trust them completely ever again. He doesn’t want to take that risk with you.

Ele quer comprometer-se consigo

Ele tem a certeza de que é a pessoa com quem quer passar o resto da sua vida.

He knows that your emotional connection is over the moon and he doesn’t want to risk losing that.

Sair com outras mulheres está fora de questão porque ele só a quer a si. Tu és a fonte da sua felicidade e o sentido da sua vida.

Pode parecer piroso, mas é, e é uma rapariga de sorte por ter algo com que tantas outras mulheres sonham.

If you find yourself in these signs, then congratulations—you’ve got a man that is completely in love with you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

He is not a liar; he doesn’t pretend to like you because he has no other motives to be with you except the fact he wants to.

Give him a chance because he’s probably too scared to say something directly.

Well, men are like that—what you can do but make the first move!

FAQs

Ele está emocionalmente ligado a mim?

When a man feels a romantic attachment to you, he’ll have his olhos só para ti. You two don’t even have to be in an actual relationship just yet but he’ll be committed to you either way.

This guy isn’t interested in any other girl besides you. Spending time with you makes him the happiest man alive and all he wants is your validation that he’s good enough.

Preocupa-se com o seu bem-estar, coloca-a em primeiro lugar e está disposto a fazer qualquer coisa só para estar perto de si. E não é só isso: este tipo também está obcecado com a sua vida amorosa.

He wants to find out if you’re dating someone else and what type of men you like, so he can know whether he stands a chance or not.

Se isto se parece muito com o seu homem, não há dúvida de uma coisa: ele está agarrado a si.

How Do You Know You’re Attached To Someone?

When you’re attached to someone, you feel close to them even when you’re physically apart. Whenever you’re with them, you feel at home. Their hug is where you belong and feel more secure than ever.

You enjoy this person’s presence more than anything and you would spend every second of your day with them if you could. You can’t get them out of your head, as much as you try and you can’t picture your life without them there.

Romantizam toda a vossa relação e vê essa pessoa como muito melhor do que ela é na realidade. You look at them through rose-tinted glasses and it’s like you refuse to notice any of their flaws.

É uma sensação boa, eu sei. No entanto, lembra-te sempre que ninguém é digno de perder-se.

No matter how attached you are to this special someone, please don’t detach from reality. Most importantly: don’t ever stop colocar-se em primeiro lugar.

Como é que deixo de ser emocionalmente apegado?

Overcoming unhealthy attachment is not easy but it can be done. You just have to understand that you can live without them, even though it doesn’t appear that way now.

Instead of putting that much focus on your loved one, work on your self-esteem and remember that they don’t define you. Don’t forget that the steering wheel of your life is in your hands, so please don’t ever put your own happiness under someone else’s control!

You know, all of this attachment is cute- to a certain extent. But the moment it grows into emotional dependency, it’s a red flag that you have to do something.

You know exactly what I’m talking about, otherwise, you wouldn’t be wondering how to stop being attached, would you?

Há uma grande diferença entre uma ligação pouco saudável e uma ligação saudável. Quando sentimos a segunda, sentimos uma bela ligação emocional com a pessoa de quem gostamos.

No entanto, quando se tem um estilo de vinculação pouco saudável, a relação torna-se a única coisa que importa. De repente, os seus melhores amigos e familiares deixam de ter importância. E o que é ainda pior, desconsidera-se completamente a si próprio.

The person you’re in love with dictates your entire life and your entire mood depends on the way they treat you. You feel incomplete without them and letting go is not an option.

Bem, aqui está exatamente como se curar deste tipo de dependência doentia.

Encontrar a causa do seu estilo de vinculação pouco saudável

Curing the consequences without finding the cause is in vain, don’t you think? That’s exactly why you must dig deep inside of yourself and figure out the reason for your padrões de relacionamento pouco saudáveis.

É o medo de ser abandonado? As pessoas que foram abandonadas no passado desenvolvem uma fobia de que a história se repita.

If you’ve been left behind by someone who meant the world to you, it’s natural that you’re convinced everyone will treat you the same.

Another common cause is abuse. If you’ve ever been a victim of violence, you’ve probably lost the sense of self-worth and you desperately hold on to the people you care about, assuming you don’t deserve their love.

Also, your behavior can be caused by emotional neglect in the past. If you’ve felt unloved and unwanted, you’re ready to do whatever it takes to prevent something like that from happening again.

Ironicamente, a sua carência tem normalmente um efeito contraproducente e acaba por afastar aqueles que ama.

Deixar de se apaixonar pelo potencial

The next thing you should do if you want to detach yourself from someone is to stop romanticizing things. Let’s be honest: most of the time, you cling to all the could haves and should haves instead of seeing the reality.

You seeing your future with a guy doesn’t make your relationship perfect. But that’s exactly how you see it- without a single flaw.

No momento em que conhecemos alguém de quem gostamos, começamos a imaginar o vocês os dois a darem o nó, criar um monte de filhos e cavalgar juntos até ao pôr do sol.

Basically, you don’t attach to them- you attach to the idea of the life you want with them. Sometimes, you don’t fall in love with a person- you fall in love with the idea of love.

And once you stop doing that, you’ll also stop getting attached so fast.

Concentrar-se no auto-progresso

Being attached means spending all of your energy on the object of your affection. It usually includes thinking about them all the time, religiously stalking their social media pages, struggling with negative thoughts about whether they’ll leave you, doing your best to fit into their life…

In order for this to stop, you have to shift your energy to someone else. No, I’m not advising you to start dating more people at once just to get your attention from this one person.

I’m talking about you here. You have to put your entire focus on yourself instead of racking your brain about your (potential) partner.

If you want to get rid of your unhealthy patterns, you have to build your self-confidence. It means realizing that you’re good enough with or without them and most importantly, understanding that someone else would love you, even if they left.

You can’t achieve any of this unless you engage in some serious self-improvement. That includes becoming your best self and turning your long-forgotten goal and dreams into reality.

Once that happens, you’ll start appreciating yourself more. You’ll recuperar o seu sentido de autoestima and you won’t need anyone’s validation.

Besides, you won’t have any time and energy left to obsess over them. And that’s your final goal, isn’t it?

Definir algumas regras de comportamento

You control your emotions- it’s not the other way around. That’s exactly why you have to learn how to control yourself in this kind of situation.

Defina algumas regras de comportamento para si próprio e cumpra-as, aconteça o que acontecer.

Start with seemingly little things, such as promising yourself that you’ll never double or triple text your (potential) partner if they haven’t responded to your first text. Promise yourself that you won’t ask them if they love you every day just because you need reassurance.

Another good idea is to choose a day of the week when you’ll see your friends and family without your BAE. I don’t care how in love you might be and how badly you want to see your person on this day as well- there is no chance in hell that you’d allow yourself to break this rule.

The examples are endless but the point is the same. You don’t have to cut ties with this special someone but you have to find a way to detach yourself from them.

Obter ajuda

Finally, if you notice that all of this is taking a toll on you, it’s time to get some help. A good idea is to talk with your good friends or family members. Sometimes, you just need a person of trust to hear you out and be your shoulder to cry on.

Além disso, não há vergonha nenhuma em falar com um profissional de saúde mental. Ele apresentar-lhe-á diferentes estratégias para aliviar a sua dor e ajudá-lo-á a lidar com esta questão da forma mais saudável possível.

É amor ou apego emocional?

While love’s primary goal is making the other person happy, attachment is directed towards fulfilling your own needs. Even though many people think that amor e ligação emocional são sinónimos, existem algumas diferenças fundamentais entre estes dois conceitos.

Egoísta vs. altruísta

Amar verdadeiramente alguém significa querer que a outra pessoa seja feliz, with or without you. It is all about wanting their well-being, even if that doesn’t include you.

On the other hand, attachment is usually all about you. Yes, you’re obsessed with your bae but you’re doing it for all the selfish reasons.

Maybe you cling to them because you’re scared of dying alone, maybe they give you everything you’ve been looking for or just fit into your idea of o seu par perfeito.

De qualquer forma, o seu objetivo final é satisfazer as suas próprias necessidades emocionais - não as deles.

Libertação vs. possessividade

Estar apegado significa querer ter controlo total sobre a pessoa amada. Significa ser demasiado possessivo e não lhe dar espaço suficiente para respirar.

Love is different. When you love someone, you give them all the freedom in the world. Fear doesn’t paralyze you, you’re aware of your values and you don’t even think of caging them.

At some level, you’re behaving like this on purpose. As much as you love your person, you don’t want them around if you have to keep them from leaving.

Querer vs. precisar

Outra diferença crucial entre apego e amor é a que existe entre querer e precisar.

You might love this person to the moon and back. Despite that, you still know that you’d survive without them. You can live without them- you just choose not to.

Pelo contrário, estar apegado significa precisar desesperadamente dessa pessoa na sua vida. Significa agarrar-se a ela e agarrá-la como se fosse uma palhinha.

In this case, you’re sure that you can’t make it without them. You need them like you need the air to breathe and that’s exactly what’s unhealthy about your style of attachment.

O que é a Teoria da Vinculação?

Uma teoria da vinculação afirma que o adulto estilo de fixação é exclusivamente influenciada pelo tipo de ligação emocional que se teve com o seu principal cuidador. Em suma, afirma que a relação que teve com os seus pais dita todas as outras relações que terá mais tarde na sua vida.

A teoria foi originalmente sugerida por John Bowlby, um psicanalista e psiquiatra, na década de 1980.

Quatro estilos de fixação

De acordo com a teoria da vinculação, existem quatro diferentes estilos de vinculação nos adultos e cada um deles corresponde a estilos de vinculação nas crianças. Aqui estão eles:

Seguro

You don’t allow your insecurities to get to you. In fact, you’re extremely confident when it comes to your relationship.

You don’t let doubts get the best of you and you’re never needy.

If all of this is true, your style of attachment is definitely secure. It can only be a good sign: a sign that you’ve had an intense emotional connection with your primary caregivers. It taught you how to express love, how to recognize it, and how not to get too attached.

Ansioso-preocupado/ Ansioso-ambivalente

Este estilo é o primeiro da lista de estilos de vinculação inseguros.

Os adultos com um estilo ansioso-preocupado provavelmente lidaram com uma parentalidade inconsistente quando eram crianças.

The moment you start thinking about yourself, you’re overwhelmed by negative thoughts. But you’re not like that with others. Actually, you see all of their qualities and consequently assume that everyone is better than you.

You’re an overthinker and you keep on analyzing every single detail regarding your partner, in fear that he’s about to leave you behind. This is the main characteristic of an anxious-preoccupied or estilo ambivalente.

Even if it’s all butterflies and roses, you can’t fight the idea that your partner will walk out on you. You picture different scenarios and look for ways in which he could turn his back on you.

Amor evitante

Pessoas com uma estilo de vinculação evitante won’t allow themselves to depend on anyone. They’ve been through a lot and every time they thought they could count on someone, they ended up betrayed.

Their independence and liberty are the number one priority. They couldn’t stand being caged, even though we’re talking about a golden cage.

Ansioso-evitante/ Medo-evitante/ Desorganizado

Se tiver este estilo de ligação, you’re afraid of intimacy. No, I’m not talking about the bedroom activity here.

Instead, I’m talking about fully exposing yourself spiritually to your partner. Just the possibility of having to open up to others might scare you.

This doesn’t mean that you’re not on the dating market anymore. You’re 100% percent invested while it’s all fun and games but the moment things get a little more serious- you run for your life.

Para terminar:

You’ve learned everything there is to know about emotional attachment and you’ve figured out the signs a guy is emotionally attached to you. What more could a girl in a modern dating pool ask for?

Well, using this new knowledge wisely would be desirable. Trust me: if you play your cards right, and I’m sure that’s exactly what you’ll do- every o rapaz vai ficar louco por ti.

Além disso, esta é a melhor oportunidade para se curar dos seus antigos traumas de ligação, para que possa ter um novo começo.