6 lições que aprendi depois de sair com um rapaz que se fode

1. Percebi o que quero de uma relação

Depois da minha experiência traumática com um rapaz de merda que se aproveitou de mim, aprendi o que realmente quero de uma relação romântica. Aprendi que a honestidade, o amor, o respeito e a compreensão são coisas que importam e que devemos obtê-las se as dermos à pessoa amada.

But, unfortunately, I was the only one who gave all of this but got nothing in return. That’s why I will never ignore all those red flags telling me that I should be more careful. Next time, I will choose more wisely.

2. Aprendi a pôr-me em primeiro lugar

In a toxic relationship like that, I learned that putting first someone who doesn’t even give a damn about you is the worst thing you can do to yourself. That’s how I learned that I need to start loving and respecting myself and that I should give my trust to the ones who work hard to earn it.

Agora sei que o amor-próprio não é algo egoísta e que precisamos dele para sermos capazes de amar os outros. E apesar de esta lição ter sido dura, pelo menos nunca mais voltarei a cometer o mesmo erro.

3. I learned I shouldn’t go too fast

In all my previous relationships, I moved too fast, dreaming of big things even if I didn’t know my boyfriend very well. That’s what I did with the fuckboy as well. I gave him my love, my trust, and my support. In fact, I gave him all of myself but he never reciprocated in the same way. He ignored me to get my attention.

He played mind games to win me over. And he was damn good at all of that. It surely wasn’t his first time but even if I was bruised and broken, at least I learned a valuable lesson that will save me in the future.

4. Aprendi que nem tudo se resume à aparência física

Por alguma razão, as raparigas apaixonam-se sempre por meninos maus who happen to look great. They somehow miss all those shy guys who have a lot to offer but who don’t look like top models. That’s how I made the mistake. I fell for a man who had a perfect body but a wicked mind.

E ele sabia que eu ficaria com ele, independentemente do que ele me fizesse, uma vez que me tornei viciada nele. E fiquei. Até que descobri que ele me andava a trair enquanto estávamos numa relação. E com esse tipo de comportamento, ele simplesmente passou dos limites. Depois de o deixar, jurei que iria prestar atenção a todos os homens e não apenas aos que têm um aspeto fantástico.

5. I learned that if I don’t respect myself, others won’t do it either

While in a relationship with a fuckboy, I didn’t respect myself at all. He was my number one priority and I did everything to make him happy. But I soon realized I couldn’t live like that any longer, not because I couldn’t but because he didn’t see my efforts.

E quando acabei com ele, apercebi-me que durante todo o tempo em que estive com ele, não fiz qualquer esforço por mim. E mudei isso. Foi a melhor decisão da minha vida.

6. Aprendi a ser forte

After all that I went through in that relationship, I learned that I need to be strong for myself because others won’t do it for me. I learned that life is not easy and that I need to fight for every single good thing I want to happen.

After he broke me, I decided I couldn’t stay down, crying and being frustrated, but that I have to stand up for myself and fight for a better future. And that’s what I did and I still keep doing now. Even though this lesson was extremely painful, it only made me a stronger and better person.

Christine é autora de ‘Encarando os olhos da ansiedade e da depressão’Um livro que irá mudar a forma como combate a ansiedade e a depressão.