6 sinais de que você ainda não aceitou a separação (ainda)

Não é fácil aceitar que a separação aconteceu de facto, especialmente se namorou com uma pessoa com quem viu o seu para sempre.

That’s why most of us go through the phase of denial in which we decide to ignore the fact that the relationship is over for good, and we feed ourselves with the hope that something will miraculously change.

O que se passa é que nem sequer te apercebes de que estás em negação. Começa por ser um mecanismo de defesa que nos protege de toda a dor que a separação nos traz.

That’s why you should check the signs and see if you have accepted your breakup.

1. A ideia de voltar a estar juntos está constantemente presente

Mesmo que o negue publicamente, se alguém lho perguntar, no fundo tem esperança de resolver as coisas com o seu ex e de voltar para os braços dele.

You spend a lot of time contemplating how to change you ex’s mind. You write them lengthy texts explaining why you two should be together again. You do what you can to make him see you should give this another go,and that’s a pretty clear sign that you haven’t accepted your breakup.

You can’t and under no circumstances should forçar alguém into the relationship or beg for a second chance. If he was on the same page with you, he would also reach out and a simple text saying: “Hi, how are you?” would be all the push he needs to pursue you.

2. You can’t stop stalking them on social media

You can’t bring yourself to unfriend them on social media. You are interested in every new picture and status update they make. You are trying to find the clues and read the signs. and sadly, there aren’t any.

Ter acesso à vida dele através das redes sociais dá-lhe uma falsa sensação de proximidade e continua a sentir que ele faz parte da sua vida.

He is not sending you encrypted messages and the longer you browse through his social media accounts the more pain you’ll be in. Don’t do that to yourself. Delete and block, and let him gradually leave your system.

3. Concentra-se apenas nas partes boas da relação

When you look back, you only see the good days, happy moments and sweet things he did and you sweep all the bad and ugly in your relationship under the carpet and refuse to get it out. It’s just too painful to deal with all of that mess, and it’s easier to see the positive sides.

Take a step back from your daydreams, and look at the reality. It wasn’t all that great. You probably spent more days crying, worrying and stressing that you weren’t happy.

Don’t make your ex into the Prince Charming he never was and admit to yourself that you deserve better.

4. Pôs a sua vida em espera

Muitas mulheres passam por isso quando a relação termina. Subconscientemente, elas tornam-se disponíveis para a perspetiva de ele voltar a entrar nas suas vidas.

So they pass on business or life opportunities that are in front of them They say ‘no’ without thinking twice to anyone who asks them on a date. They live in the past, replaying everything that happened in their head instead of moving ahead.

If you find yourself among some of these descriptions, it’s time to wake up. It’s time to realize that he’s gone, and you are just beginning your life.

5. Está a tentar fazer ciúmes ao seu ex

One more clear sign that you haven’t fully accepted your breakup is that you still care what he thinks and how he feels.

So you post pictures and selfies in which you look hot. You post things that make him think you have somebody else. You show up with some random guy at the place you know he’ll be at, etc.

Está a tentar fazer-lhe ciúmes, para que ele se aperceba do que perdeu e, possivelmente, o faça voltar.

6. Desvaloriza a sua nova relação

It’s unbelievably hard to grasp that your ex has moved on and started a new relationship with somebody new.

Por isso, tenta diminuir o valor da nova relação, dizendo a si própria que vai acabar em breve, que ele só está a fazer isto para a esquecer, que lhe vai ligar quando se cansar dela, etc.

Na realidade, tudo o que ele está a fazer é enviar-lhe uma mensagem clara de que a relação entre si e ele terminou e que tem de aceitar isso.

E mesmo que ele se canse dessa nova pessoa e mesmo que ele volta a rastejar para si, you don’t need someone like him in your life. The moment he decided to go after someone else is the moment he lost you for good.

Como aceitar a separação e seguir em frente?

The first step of accepting your breakup is to admit to yourself that you are in denial. And that’s also the trickiest part.

Secondly, you have to know that it’s going to be everything but easy and that the quickest way to heal is to embrace the pain that comes with a breakup.

O mais importante é que precisas de espaço. Precisas de deixar de ser amiga dele, de o bloquear e de o evitar. Ir nenhum contacto é a melhor coisa a fazer. Ao fim de alguns meses, terá uma visão muito melhor da sua relação passada do que tem agora.

You can’t get over somebody who is constantly present in your life. By keeping him close in any way, you are just prolonging your denial period.