6 segni che non hanno accettato la rottura (ancora)

Non è facile accettare che la rottura sia avvenuta davvero, soprattutto se si è frequentato una persona con cui si vedeva il proprio per sempre.

That’s why most of us go through the phase of denial in which we decide to ignore the fact that the relationship is over for good, and we feed ourselves with the hope that something will miraculously change.

Il fatto è che potreste non essere nemmeno consapevoli di essere in fase di negazione. Inizia come un meccanismo di difesa che vi protegge da tutto il dolore che la rottura comporta.

That’s why you should check the signs and see if you have accepted your breakup.

1. L'idea di tornare insieme è costantemente presente

Anche se lo neghereste pubblicamente, se qualcuno ve lo chiedesse, nel profondo sperate di risolvere le cose con il vostro ex e di tornare tra le sue braccia.

You spend a lot of time contemplating how to change you ex’s mind. You write them lengthy texts explaining why you two should be together again. You do what you can to make him see you should give this another go,and that’s a pretty clear sign that you haven’t accepted your breakup.

You can’t and under no circumstances should costringere qualcuno into the relationship or beg for a second chance. If he was on the same page with you, he would also reach out and a simple text saying: “Hi, how are you?” would be all the push he needs to pursue you.

2. You can’t stop stalking them on social media

You can’t bring yourself to unfriend them on social media. You are interested in every new picture and status update they make. You are trying to find the clues and read the signs. and sadly, there aren’t any.

Avere accesso alla sua vita attraverso i social media vi dà una falsa sensazione di vicinanza, e vi sentite ancora come se lui facesse parte della vostra vita.

He is not sending you encrypted messages and the longer you browse through his social media accounts the more pain you’ll be in. Don’t do that to yourself. Delete and block, and let him gradually leave your system.

3. Ci si concentra solo sugli aspetti positivi della relazione.

When you look back, you only see the good days, happy moments and sweet things he did and you sweep all the bad and ugly in your relationship under the carpet and refuse to get it out. It’s just too painful to deal with all of that mess, and it’s easier to see the positive sides.

Take a step back from your daydreams, and look at the reality. It wasn’t all that great. You probably spent more days crying, worrying and stressing that you weren’t happy.

Don’t make your ex into the Prince Charming he never was and admit to yourself that you deserve better.

4. Metti in pausa la tua vita

Molte donne lo sperimentano quando la relazione finisce. Si rendono inconsciamente disponibili alla prospettiva che lui torni nella loro vita.

So they pass on business or life opportunities that are in front of them They say ‘no’ without thinking twice to anyone who asks them on a date. They live in the past, replaying everything that happened in their head instead of moving ahead.

If you find yourself among some of these descriptions, it’s time to wake up. It’s time to realize that he’s gone, and you are just beginning your life.

5. State cercando di far ingelosire il vostro ex

One more clear sign that you haven’t fully accepted your breakup is that you still care what he thinks and how he feels.

So you post pictures and selfies in which you look hot. You post things that make him think you have somebody else. You show up with some random guy at the place you know he’ll be at, etc.

State cercando di farlo ingelosire, in modo che si renda conto di ciò che ha perso ed eventualmente lo faccia tornare indietro.

6. Sottovalutate la sua nuova relazione

It’s unbelievably hard to grasp that your ex has moved on and started a new relationship with somebody new.

Quindi cercate di sminuire il valore della loro nuova relazione dicendovi che finirà presto, che lo sta facendo solo per dimenticarvi, che vi chiamerà quando si sarà stancato di lei e così via.

In realtà, tutto ciò che sta facendo è inviarti un chiaro messaggio: la relazione tra te e lui è finita e tu devi accettarlo.

E anche se si stanca di quella nuova persona e anche se torna strisciando da voi, you don’t need someone like him in your life. The moment he decided to go after someone else is the moment he lost you for good.

Come accettare la rottura e andare avanti?

The first step of accepting your breakup is to admit to yourself that you are in denial. And that’s also the trickiest part.

Secondly, you have to know that it’s going to be everything but easy and that the quickest way to heal is to embrace the pain that comes with a breakup.

Soprattutto avete bisogno di spazio. Dovete togliergli l'amicizia, bloccarlo ed evitarlo. Andare nessun contatto è la cosa migliore da fare. Dopo qualche mese, avrete una visione della vostra relazione passata molto migliore di quella attuale.

You can’t get over somebody who is constantly present in your life. By keeping him close in any way, you are just prolonging your denial period.