8 sinais mais comuns de manipulação numa relação

A manipulação nas relações é uma ocorrência muito comum que a maioria mestres manipuladores conseguem safar-se, graças às suas manhas e poderes de persuasão subtis.

Já alguma vez se perguntou se isto já lhe aconteceu sem ter consciência disso?

It usually starts with little things. One day, you wake up and you realize that you’ve been doing things lately that you normally wouldn’t do but you aren’t too alarmed about it yet so you just brush it off.

You don’t give it too much thought and you just go about your day. Then you start sensing that your partner has been starting to twist and turn your words and use them against you.

You feel violated and completely taken aback because he’s so sneaky when doing it.

Master manipulators have a way of doing things that makes everything seem like it’s totally your fault.

Fazem-nos sentir completamente loucos e questionamos o nosso próprio discernimento.

Sente que tudo o que faz e diz começa a morder-lhe no rabo, porque ele faz sempre parecer que tem más intenções, quando na verdade é ele que vira tudo o que diz e faz contra si.

You start feeling powerless and like you’re no longer in control of what you do or say and it feels like a bottomless hole you can’t get away from.

Manipulation in relationships is usually evident in a partner who seems to be in your head at all times and before you’re even aware, he makes all your decisions for you.

But he is so sly at doing it that you don’t even realize it until it’s too late!

Alguns manipuladores são tão bons que quase não se consegue apanhá-los em flagrante, mas se acha que isso pode estar a acontecer consigo, fique atento, pois compilei uma lista dos sinais mais comuns de manipulação nas relações que o ajudarão a chegar ao fundo da questão!

Se reconhecer estes sinais e conseguir admitir para si próprio que está a ser vítima de manipulação, pode treinar-se para lutar contra isso e acabar com isto de uma vez por todas!

Bullying

At first, it seems like he’s joking around but when you think about it, he’s not laughing with you, he’s actually laughing at you.

The tone that he speaks with and that look in his eyes tell you that he isn’t joking. By bullying, he wants to make sure that you are ‘obedient’ and that he has the upper hand.

You don’t even realize it but his jokes are a huge bandeira vermelha because he’s actually manipulating you into thinking that you are less worthy or that you suck at something.

Why? Well, when the person you love repeats these things every day, it simply starts to become natural, like it’s always been this way.

You can’t say no

You simply aren’t able to say no. It doesn’t matter how many times you try to, just the thought of turning down a request from your partner scares you.

Saying ‘no’ just feels like a crazy idea.

You feel weak and helpless every time you try to disobey him, even though you aren’t really sure why it is like that.

Sometimes, the things he asks of you are impossible for you to do and you know that the right thing would be to say ‘no’ but at the same time, you just can’t seem to get yourself to say it.

The sneakiest thing about this is that he makes you feel like you’re a bad person if you say no!

He appears to have good intentions (which is never true) and if you refuse, you’re the one with a problem.

Por isso, acabamos sempre por dizer que sim, porque ele sabe exatamente como nos manipular para fazermos tudo o que ele quer sem parecermos manipuladores ou mandões.

Justifica as suas acções

Not just your own but his too. You try to find a reason for the way you’re both behaving.

It’s like you’re always trying to find an excuse for doing everything he asks of you.

You also want to justify his behavior, like he needs something from you and you’re the only one who can give him that.

Mesmo para si, as explicações parecem terríveis, mas continua a encontrá-las e a justificar o seu comportamento e o dele.

É assim que ele faz as coisas. Obriga-nos a arranjar desculpas para ele!

You know it’s not right but it feels easier if you try to believe yourself that there might be a good explanation for his behavior, even though there never is.

If you really loved me…

This one shows how bad your partner really is. If he makes you do things by saying, “If you loved me, you would do this for me,” then I don’t know why you’re still with him.

Esta frase significa que ele equipara o vosso amor com o que fazes por ele.

A coisa mais comum para a qual os homens usam esta frase é o sexo, fazendo-a acreditar que o sexo é o único sinal verdadeiro de amor que existe.

“If you really loved me…” is kind of obvious but he can also put the same request into different words that have the same meaning.

Esta é uma das mais comuns e perigosas. Ele usa as suas emoções e leva-a a fazer coisas por ele, porque sabe exatamente onde bater onde dói mais.

Uma pessoa que o amasse nunca usaria o seu amor como desculpa para o chantagear a fazer o que quer que fosse.

Always remember that! This man doesn’t love you, he is only using you for his own satisfaction.

Culpa-se a si próprio

It doesn’t matter how many times someone told you that it wasn’t your fault, you can’t stop blaming yourself because in your own mind, you are a bad partner.

Sente-se mal por tirar algum tempo para relaxar porque, na sua cabeça, devia estar com o seu parceiro, a fazê-lo feliz.

And this is how he gets you. He weasels his way into your head and stays there for as long as you’re not obeying his every subtle order.

Quando começar a culpar-se por fazer algo fora da relação e por ter uma vida real fora dele, reconheça que essa é a forma de ele fazer jogos mentais consigo.

You have every right to do whatever you want and hang out with whomever you like and when you feel like a bad person for that, know that’s it’s time to admit to yourself what is happening and confront it head-on.

Chantagem emocional

Dear, emotional blackmail is the worse type of manipulation. It’s disguised as care and love but it’s actually awful.

Telling someone, “I would die without you,” is like telling them that if they left, you’d go off and kill yourself.

É claro que isso o faria sentir-se mal, como se fosse responsável se eles se matassem.

But please realize that no one’s well-being is your sole responsibility. Don’t accept responsibility for another person’s shitty, low-blow actions or threats!

Se ele quiser fazer alguma coisa, vai fazê-la independentemente de si, por isso nunca deixe que ele a faça sentir responsável pela sua felicidade. Isso é inteiramente da responsabilidade dele!

Gaslighting

O gaslighting é uma forma comum de manipulação.

Geralmente é óbvio, se prestarmos atenção e procurarmos os sinais.

For example, he says you didn’t say something or that he didn’t say something, or he reinvents the past and makes up new scenarios that make you believe that you have completely lost your mind.

If he’s been doing it for quite some time now, you’ll feel like you can’t even trust your own mind, so you start trusting him completely.

Sente que precisa do seu parceiro ao vosso lado to feel sane, as you’re seemingly losing it when he’s not there.

É ele que nos mantém sob controlo e só ao seu lado nos sentimos sãos e normais.

Necessidade conveniente

Let’s say you and your partner need to go somewhere but you know he really doesn’t want to come along, so he suddenly starts feeling under the weather and cannot seem to go.

Or you need him to clean up after himself, as he’s made a complete mess of the house but he suddenly has a throbbing headache and he can’t move from the couch or listen to you yell.

This is why it’s called convenient neediness. It only happens when the manipulator needs it as his way out of something!

Este é fácil de detetar, por isso, se isto acontecer na sua relação, reconheça-o e ponha-lhe um fim.