10 Magníficas respostas para parar o mestre manipulador

Quantas vezes quis que te calasses. Quantas vezes quis gritar contigo para parares de me fazer uma lavagem cerebral com as tuas palavras nojentas e ofensivas.

Nunca consegui. Fiquei ali parado à tua frente, congelado, incapaz de mexer um músculo, incapaz de falar para me defender.

That is what years of your manipulation did to me. That’s how you managed to have complete control over me.

Sempre que discutíamos, era sempre a mesma coisa.

Tu a gritar pela casa, a partir coisas, e eu sentado, a olhar numa direção, à espera que pares.

Even when you forced me to give you answers and talk to you, you wouldn’t let me.

I would start, a few words would come out of my mouth unwillingly, and then you’d cut me off. Then, you’d shame me even more.

Sim, eu vivia com um manipulador. I’m not ashamed of it anymore, not now that it’s all over.

These people are everywhere. You can’t avoid them. You can’t recognize them. That’s the whole point.

Se soubesses desde o início que alguém próximo de ti te manipula, terias ficado com essa pessoa?

No, sadly, you only realize when it’s too late. You realize you’ve been manipulated instead of loved only when you hit rock bottom.

As pessoas manipuladoras sabem exatamente o que dizer para nos manterem calados e para nos levarem a sentir pena deles. Tudo o que eles dizem tem sempre um objetivo oculto.

São capazes de manipular as suas emoções para o tornar mais vulnerável.

In that state you’re the easiest to manipulate and control.

A melhor solução para lidar com um manipulador é cortá-lo completamente da sua vida e ignorar a sua presença, mas, infelizmente, nem todos nos podemos dar ao luxo de o fazer.

When you don’t have a choice and for some reason, you have to stay in touch with your manipulator, here are a few comebacks you should use whenever you feel threatened:

“NO!”

Aprender a ser assertivo. Aprender a tomar uma posição. Há muitos livros de autoajuda que podem fazer o truque.

A questão é que precisa de aprender a acreditar em si próprio, e ganhar algum controlo sobre os seus sentimentos irá certamente fazer-lhe bem.

A sua autoestima está quase esmagada por causa da sua humilhação constante.

You don’t believe in yourself, and it makes you insecure. What you need to do is to break free from that emotional prison he put you in.

Say ‘no’ to him. Don’t be afraid because nothing bad will happen, and for the love of God, don’t fall for his tricks because while you’re fighting against him, he will try to make you feel sorry for him.

That’s his tactic to get you back out of pity.

“This time I’m going to choose myself.”

It’s hard to make such a change in your life, but for your own good, be brave enough and make the first step toward accepting and loving yourself for who you are.

Tens de perceber que não és tu que fazes asneiras. Não és o malvado e nunca te deves definir dessa forma.

Afinal, porque é que havemos de sofrer porque outra pessoa tem uma alma corrompida?

Don’t feel sorry for people like that. Get away from them as soon and as far as possible.

Porque, se tentares ajudá-los, eles só te vão magoar. Na verdade, eles estão a contar que os ajudes, para que te possam trair e, mais uma vez, conseguir o que querem.

“You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do!”

Don’t give up on yourself. You’re not meant to be in this world to be someone’s doormat.

Existem planos muito maiores para si, por isso ninguém tem o direito de a controlar. Faça-o perceber esse facto, tomando uma posição.

Os manipuladores atacam as pessoas fracas porque são as mais fáceis de controlar.

If you talk back to him and show him through your words and actions that you’re not weak, he won’t be able to touch you.

“Your words mean nothing to me!”

When a manipulator has a feeling that you’re slipping away from his grip, that you’re no longer under his control, he will try hard to lure you back in.

Ele vai esforçar-se por fazer todo o tipo de promessas, dizendo exatamente as coisas que tu queres ouvir.

Ele mudará a sua atitude apenas para o levar a confiar na sua súbita mudança de atitude.

“I’m busy now. We can talk some other time.”

Make sure he knows you’re not available to him every time it suits him.

Make him see that you have a will of your own, a free will and you’re able to make your own decisions without anyone interfering.

If you don’t feel like talking to him right now, he has no right or the power to make you. Make sure he knows that.

“Step away from me.”

Os manipuladores usam a intimidação como a sua arma mais forte. Usam-na quando todas as outras jogos mentais fail. It’s their last resort.

If you’re in the middle of a fight and they don’t see a way of winning, they will walk into your personal space with the intention of scaring you.

Most victims can’t handle that kind of emotional pressure, so they fold and allow the abusers to get complete control.

Let your abuser know that you can’t be intimidated.

Even though you’re scared as hell, don’t let that fear show because fear is only making him stronger and more aggressive.

“I feel so sorry for you.” (read: sarcasm)

Para conseguirem o que querem, os manipuladores tentarão provocar a sua simpatia.

Tentarão vender-lhe uma história patética, para que sinta pena deles e faça as coisas à maneira deles.

Don’t let them manipulate your emotional state like this. Show them that this time you mean it. This time you’re serious.

“We’ll talk when you calm down.”

Querem que reajas antes de pensares. Querem que penses emocionalmente e não racionalmente, para que digas a primeira coisa que te vem à cabeça e a uses contra ti.

Don’t fall into that trap, and avoid talking to him during a high emotional state.

“I’m a person worthy of respect and love.”

Manipulators are counting on you feeling worthless. They need you to feel like you are a nobody, so it’s easier for them to control you.

By showing and saying to him that you are as important as anyone else in this world, that you deserve respect and love, you’re automatically ruining his plans, and you’ll make him powerless against you.

“I’m not letting you get inside my mind.”

Os manipuladores são os melhores a ultrapassar todos os limites possíveis que estabelecemos, porque pensam que podem.

And if you let them, you’re only encouraging them to continue doing whatever the hell they want without any respect for anyone around them.

Se lhes dissermos que nos recusamos a ser intimidados e maltratados, eles afastar-se-ão.

Remember this one thing—as long as you’re dancing to the music he’s playing, you won’t be able to get away from his manipulative grip.

Take a stand and make a change in your life. Don’t be afraid of anyone.