8 maneiras de dar espaço a alguém e mantê-lo ao seu lado

Quer saber como dar espaço a alguém sem o perder?

Don’t worry because here’s everything you need to know about the benefits of giving someone space in a relationship, along with the best ways to do it!

Todas as relações chegam a um ponto em que um ou ambos os parceiros começam a ter necessidade de espaço.

If it’s not you but your partner who needs space in your relationship, I understand the feeling of confusion and the fear of losing them as a consequence of giving them the needed space.

I used to think the same but over time, I realized that giving space to each other in a relationship is the best thing I’ve ever done.

So, I can tell you for sure that there’s nothing you should worry about because needing space is a natural occurrence in every relationship and it’s not something you should fear.

Instead, you should embrace it! Now you’re probably wondering why so here’s why!

Muitas pessoas pensam que o conceito de dar espaço numa relação é a pior coisa que lhes pode acontecer ou outra palavra para uma rutura.

Mas a verdade é o contrário.

Giving each other space is a remedy that will change your perspective, wipe everything that’s (potentially) toxic in your relationship and give you an opportunity for a fresh start.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is broken.

If you notice that your partner is pulling away and if they tell you, “I need space,” it just means that.

It doesn’t mean that they are initiating a separação ou ganhar tempo enquanto se está à procura de outra pessoa.

Significa que precisam de um intervalo. Precisam de algum tempo sozinhos e de pouco espaço para recarregarem as baterias, para se concentrarem nas suas próprias vidas e para pensarem no rumo que a vossa relação está a tomar.

And that’s exactly what you need, too!

By giving your partner space, you will also have your own space and the right amount of time to think about your significant other, future decision-making and, most importantly, you’ll have time to do your own things that will cleanse your body and soul, which is a prerequisite of every healthy relationship.

Giving each other space doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll become strangers when you make decisions to stop texting or calling each other or seeing each other for some time.

Pelo contrário, esta prática pode tornar a vossa relação ainda mais forte, porque vos dará a oportunidade de desanuviar a cabeça, de sentirem saudades um do outro e de pensarem no que realmente querem!

So, there’s no need to torture yourself with thinking: Será que ele vai voltar se eu lhe der espaço? ou será que ela vai voltar se eu lhe der espaço?

Of course, there’s always a chance that they won’t come back but this greatly depends on how you’re giving them space and their intentions as well.

However, you shouldn’t be worried about this one as well because you know what they say: ‘If you love something, let it go’.

If it was meant to be, it will come back to you’.

Summarized, if it’s meant to be, they will surely come back and you will reunite again and be stronger than ever!

So, there’s no need to worry about the outcome and the only thing you should focus on is learning how to give someone space and keep them by your side.

And here’s how you’ll do it!

COMO DAR ESPAÇO A ALGUÉM

Dar espaço ao seu parceiro é muito mais do que simplesmente deixar de o ver.

It’s also about focusing on yourself and your free time, thinking about how to improve your love life, spending quality time with your friends and family, re-evaluating why you’re in a relationship with your partner in the first place and similar.

1. Pára de enviar mensagens de texto e de telefonar

The biggest mistake that many partners make in relationships is thinking that the more they text or call their partner, the more they’ll think of them and miss them.

But it’s actually the opposite. The more you’re doing all that, the more they’ll feel trapped in a cage just like a bird that is thirsty for freedom.

Pode continuar a enviar mensagens de texto ao seu parceiro durante toda a sua vida sem nunca fazer uma pausa e isso não lhe trará nada de bom.

At the end of the day, the only thing they’ll think of is the need for space and not you.

Por isso, quando se trata de dar espaço ao seu parceiro, a primeira coisa a fazer é parar de lhe enviar mensagens e de lhe telefonar!

Trust me, the no contact rule is your best friend in this situation and it’s also some of the best relationship advice you’ll ever get!

Quando deixar de lhes enviar mensagens e telefonar, eles sentir-se-ão novamente livres e começarão certamente a sentir a sua falta! Porquê?

Porque sentimos a falta de alguém pela sua ausência e não pela sua presença.

When you’re no longer in touch with each other, you basically have no idea what is going on in each other’s lives.

You can only assume. And that’s when you start thinking about how they’re spending their day, what they’re doing in their free time and similar.

Por isso, dar espaço à sua namorada/namorado, deixando de lhe enviar mensagens e de lhe telefonar, dar-lhe-á o suficiente tempo para reiniciar (se a sua namorada/o seu namorado estiver um pouco inseguro em relação aos seus sentimentos) e começar a sentir a sua falta!

Ver também: 7 Signs He Misses You During The “No Contact” Period

2. Deixar de os perseguir nas redes sociais

Speaking from personal experience, I understand how hard it is to stop stalking your partner on social media during no contact because it’s the only way to stay in touch with them.

You literally wait for their next post, you’re the first one to press ‘Like’ or comment and then you wait for the next post, story or any type of activity that will give you the feeling that you’re an active part of their life.

Now, I’m not saying that you’re not an active part of their life but in this case, where you want to give them some space, you should become a little bit passive and stop stalking them on redes sociais.

Because the more you’re giving them likes, commenting and waiting for their activities on social media and trying to reach them virtually, the more you’re making them feel trapped.

Além disso, seguir todos os seus passos nas redes sociais também é mau para a sua saúde mental.

Já para não falar de possíveis explosões de ciúmes devido a um mal-entendido ou algo do género.

So, instead of doing that, you should focus on the things happening in your life because that’s the only way to create balance in your relationship and life in general.

3. Faz o que te apetece

Instead of texting, calling them or stalking them on social media, focus on doing your own thing! I bet it’s been a while since you did something solely for yourself.

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you tend to lose a sense of your true self because you only focus on the activities that will benefit both of you.

And now is the time to change that. You need to reach your inner self again by asking yourself what are the things you used to enjoy but haven’t done in a while.

You need to focus on reconnecting with your friends and family, watching your favorite TV shows (I’m pretty sure there are some that you couldn’t watch with your partner), you need to find your passions again and do things that motivate you and inspire you.

Ao fazer as suas próprias coisas, é menos provável que pense no que o seu parceiro está a fazer.

It’s the best distraction method that simply works every time!

Em vez de esperar junto ao telemóvel e pensar se deve ou não enviar uma mensagem, utilize este tempo para se concentrar em melhorar a si próprio.

Hit the gym, explore the benefits of a holistic lifestyle, read about your favorite topics, start guitar lessons or some online lessons that you’re interested in.

There are so many things you can do and I’m sure you’ll succeed in finding what works best for you!

4. Deixar-se sentir todos esses sentimentos de pânico

Um dos maiores erros que pode cometer ao dar espaço a alguém é tentar suprimir todos os sentimentos de pânico e desconforto que tem dentro de si.

Se o fizer, pode prejudicar-se seriamente, ao ponto de se tornar excessivamente agressivo ou desenvolver perturbações obsessivo-compulsivas.

Por isso, em vez de reprimir os seus sentimentos e de os ignorar, deixe-se levar por eles!

Be them negative or positive, you need to accept those feelings because they are a part of your being and they are a part of the situation you’re in.

And it’s totally okay to feel this way!

It’s totally okay to be annoyed as fuck and wanting to destroy everything around you because you have no idea what is going on in your partner’s life but trust me, everything is in your head!

If you’re convinced that you’re headed for a breakup and you constantly think of the worst so try to reach them and tell them that they shouldn’t do it, then the chances are bigger that it will happen.

And not because it should’ve happened but because you did it to yourself by not giving them enough space.

So, let yourself feel all of those panicky feelings, accept them and understand that it’s normal to feel that way and that you shouldn’t react upon them.

E posso garantir-vos que vai passar mais cedo do que pensam!

Ver também: Se reprimes as tuas emoções, devias ler isto

5. Understand that you can’t control their decisions

The urge to be in control of your relationship’s destiny forces you to constantly have the uncontrollable desire to reach your partner, to tell them how you see things from your perspective and to convince them that what you’re thinking is right.

Out of fear that you’ll lose them, you become desperate and try to do things you normally wouldn’t.

And that’s why it’s important to understand that you can’t control your partner’s decisions and vice versa.

Os seus pensamentos, perspectivas e acções pertencem-lhes tal como os seus pertencem a si e, por isso, não os pode controlar.

As únicas coisas que pode controlar são os seus próprios pensamentos, perspectivas e acções.

Quando aceitar o facto de não ter qualquer influência sobre as suas decisões, será mais fácil lidar com a situação de dar espaço.

Deve ter em conta que a perceção que eles têm da vossa relação é diferente da sua.

Perhaps they’re not satisfied with the amount of affection, effort or respect in the relationship and they would want to change that, while in your eyes, everything’s just fine.

And perhaps there’s nothing wrong with your relationship but they just want some time and space for themselves and no matter what they decide after a timeout, you shouldn’t worry about it at all! Why?

Because everything happens for a reason and there’s no point in forcing things to go in your direction.

Pode controlar-se a si próprio e à sua mentalidade, por isso concentre-se neles.

Focus on becoming the best version of yourself and whatever happens, you’ll know that you did your best.

6. Avaliar a sua relação

Aprender a dar espaço a alguém significa também avaliar a vossa relação.

O período sem contacto is a perfect time to learn about what’s lacking in your relationship (if anything) and if there’s something that needs to be improved!

Para saber mais sobre a sua relação, considere fazer a si próprio as seguintes perguntas:

– What do I want from my partner?

– Will I be able to reciprocate?

– Am I happy in the relationship?

– What are some things that need to be changed in the relationship?

– Is it possible to change them?

– Would I be happier if I was single?

By asking yourself these questions, you will define what’s really going on in your relationship and it will be easier for you to understand what to do next.

Also, you will not judge your partner’s opinions and decisions because you’ll have better insight into the situation.

Ver também: Porque é que os homens precisam de espaço numa relação e como lidar com isso

7. Tomar decisões por si próprio

After you’ve evaluated the situation, it’s time to make decisions for yourself!

Instead of constantly thinking and overthinking about your partner’s decisions, you should focus on making your own! Why?

Because it’s the only way to know what you really want and need. Constantly relying on what your partner wants puts you in a passive position in the whole story.

Temos de ser uma parte ativa da nossa própria vida. Deves saber o que realmente queres e o que realmente mereces.

Assim, esperar que o seu parceiro decida por vocês os dois coloca-o no controlo da situação.

Isso torna-os superiores a si e ao seu estado de dependência da sua vontade.

Nunca se deve deixar que isso aconteça.

Deve concentrar-se em tomar as suas próprias decisões que o beneficiem.

Devem fazer o que acham que é melhor para vocês (mesmo que isso signifique seguirem caminhos diferentes).

I understand that such decisions are easier said than done but it’s always better to be single than to be afraid of making your own choices for the sake of not disappointing your partner or similar.

Seja honesto consigo próprio. Olhe para as coisas com um certo grau de racionalidade e decida fazer o que acha que é melhor para si, para o seu parceiro e para a sua relação.

And while you’re thinking about all that, don’t forget to enjoy things and spoil yourself with a long bubble bath, your favorite alcoholic beverage and other little joys of life.

Decida ser uma parte ativa do seu vida amorosa and life in general instead of only relying on your partner’s will.

Decida tornar-se o criador da sua própria felicidade e veja como as coisas mudam gradualmente.

8. Aceitar o resultado

Quando damos espaço a alguém, há duas coisas que podem acontecer: Ou se reencontram ou, por alguma razão, seguem caminhos separados.

Se fizer tudo o que foi dito acima, posso quase garantir-lhe que, mais cedo do que pensa, voltarão a reunir-se como se nada tivesse acontecido e a vossa relação será mais forte do que nunca.

Mas, nalguns casos, em que a raiz da necessidade de espaço é mais grave, uma relação está condenada e um dos parceiros inicia uma rutura.

Agora, quero que compreendam uma coisa:

Aconteça o que acontecer, ganhaste!

If you reunite again after a timeout, congratulations! Your relationship will become stronger, more resilient and you’ll understand why you needed some space in the first place.

But if your partner concludes that your relationship is doomed and that there’s no point in fighting for it, or better said, if they disappear into thin air and you never hear from them again, you also win! Why?

Because it wasn’t meant to be and there’s no point in forcing something that will never work as it should.

Porque a decisão deles acabou de poupar toneladas do seu tempo e energia.

Porque lhe deram a oportunidade de encontrar a pessoa certa para si e de voltar a ser feliz.

You see, whatever happens, you win! So, there’s no need to be afraid of giving them some space!

It’s the only way to find out whether you’re meant to be or if they’re just a chapter in your book called Life.

Ver também: Será que ele precisa de espaço ou já acabou (7 maneiras de o saber)