Porque é que o meu ex me odeia quando me deixou? 13 razões secretas
Foi o seu ex que acabou com tudo. Ele deixou-a e decidiu que era altura de seguirem caminhos diferentes.
Mas agora, de repente, ele age como se fosse o contrário. Fala mal de ti, insulta-te sempre que tem oportunidade e sabota a tua nova vida.
It’s more than obvious that this man can’t stand your guts. Naturally, you can’t help but wonder: “Porque é que o meu ex me odeia? when he dumped me?” I mean, his behavior makes no sense whatsoever!
Well, if you dig a little deeper under the surface, you’ll find out why he feels this way.
Por que é que o meu ex me odeia quando me deixou?
Here are the possible reasons hidden behind your ex partner’s hatred:
1. Ele tem ciúmes da vossa nova relação
One of the first reasons why your ex-partner can’t stand your guts is the fact that you’ve avançou demasiado depressa. Well, at least, that’s what he thinks. You two might not be together for months but for one reason or another, he thinks that it’s too soon for you to iniciar uma nova relação.
Maybe he hasn’t been thinking about you so much since you two broke up. No entanto, assim que soube que andavas com outra pessoa, começou a odiar-te.
This man is clearly angry because you moved on and he hasn’t managed to find a healthy relationship since he left you. Nevertheless, he had a hard time processing his anger and turned it into hatred.
One thing is for sure: if your ex-boyfriend hates you, he is jealous of your new relationship. Your ex feels that this new guy in your life is making you happy and he’d die to be in his place.
2. Arrepende-se da sua decisão
Quando se pergunta porque é que o meu ex me odeia quando me deixou, tem de ir mais fundo para obter uma resposta verdadeira. Confie em mim quando lhe digo que há algo escondido por detrás do seu ódio.
No seu caso, o mais provável é que ele arrepende-se da sua decisão. After all this time, your ex realized he’s cometeu o erro da sua vida quando ele acabou contigo.
But of course, he wouldn’t admit this, even if his life depended on it. He is probably too proud to face this fact by himself, let alone to admit it to you.
No fim de contas, o seu ódio não tem nada a ver com fazer consigo. He doesn’t hate you— he hates himself and all the wrong choices he’s made.
But he knows he can’t change the past: what’s done is done. So, instead of blaming himself for this whole mess, it’s easier for him to redirect this hatred towards you.
3. Os vossos amigos em comum escolheram o vosso lado
Just because your romance didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to hang out with your amigos comuns. However, your ex-husband or boyfriend doesn’t feel that way.
Whenever he finds out that they’ve been spending time with you, his friends get an endless rant. He accuses them of picking your side and stabbing him in the back.
Mais uma vez, os sentimentos dele não têm nada a ver consigo. É óbvio que o seu ex esperava que todos tomassem o partido dele e a abandonassem da mesma forma que ele.
Maybe these people didn’t even choose sides. They just hoped to remain friends with both of you but he didn’t allow it. This is especially true if these are the people he introduced you to.
Or they realized what he did to you and don’t want to be friends with a man like that. Either way, it‘s clear that your ex wants you to be all alone, now that you’ve lost him.
4. A separação é culpa sua
When there is a break-up, we all like to see ourselves as the good guys of the story— especially if we’re the ones being dumped. However, the truth is frequently different. Guess what: just because your ex was the one to walk away, it doesn’t mean that he is guilty for ending your relationship.
Eu sei que isto é difícil de engolir, mas há uma grande probabilidade de as suas acções terem causado a separação; ele foi apenas o único que pôs um ponto final no vosso romance.
Basically, your ex hates you because you broke his heart. He can’t seem to forget all the bad things you did to him and he finds you responsible for the end of your relationship.
Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s right. This might just be his perception of things and his version of reality.
But at the end of the day, you shouldn’t rack your brain about this. He decided that you’re the evil ex-girlfriend and things will stay that way, no matter what you do.
5. He can’t forgive you
Whether you like to admit it or not, you’re the one who made your ex hate you. It only appears that he lets go of your relationship but the truth is that he is still bothered by everything that went on between you two.
Even though he left you, he is still holding grudges over the things you did to him. There is obviously something he can’t forgive you for.
Será que é o terrível desgosto you’ve put him through? (Yes, dumpers get their hearts broken as well.) Is it the fact that you failed to give him the primeiro lugar na sua vida?
Traiu-o enquanto estavam juntos? Talvez tenha sido apanhada, mas ele optou deliberadamente por não lhe contar nada.
It can be something that happened last week or last year. It can be something you find completely irrelevant to your relationship but it obviously hurt him and he can’t forget it.
6. Traíste a sua confiança
Here’s one thing you must know about post-breakup behavior: just because you’re no longer in a romantic relationship with someone, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for you to betray their trust.
You can’t go around telling your boyfriend’s secrets and if you do, that makes you a bad person.
However, that’s exactly what you did. You were probably angry about the way he left you and you shared everything you know about him with the world.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve only confined to your best friend— somehow, your words got to him.
Or you suddenly became friends with his arch enemies. Maybe you started hanging out with some guys you both “hated” while you were together or even worse, you started dating someone who is off-limits, such as his BFF.
Technically, you didn’t do anything wrong— you didn’t cheat on him. But deep down, you know you’ve violated the pós-rutura moral code and that’s why he can’t stand you!
7. You’re badmouthing him
Porque é que o meu ex me odeia quando me deixou? Antes de responder a esta pergunta, deixe-me perguntar-lhe o seguinte: Tem andado a falar mal dele desde que acabaram?
I know you’re going through a tough heartbreak. You probably hate him as well for the way he walked away from you.
Please don’t go around telling people: “O meu ex-namorado is a piece of trash,” and stuff like that! It’s one thing if your melhor amigo é o único que está a ouvir estas discursos.
However, if you’re talking coisas más sobre ele ao seu amigos comunsele vai descobrir!
Besides, you’re not talking trash about him only— you’re embarrassing yourself as well. Don’t forget that this man was your choice— it’s not like somebody forced you to be with him.
No matter what he did to you, always do your best to keep your dignity. This way, it only looks like you’re more focused on him than on your own life and that equals desperation.
8. Apercebeu-se do que tinha perdido
Muitos homens têm de sentir a sua ausência para aprenderem a apreciar a sua presença. It’s like they’re doomed or something, haha.
I mean, we’re talking about a man who never appreciated you while he had you around. Instead of treating you the way you deserved, he acted as if you were replaceable.
But now, when he realized that you’re one of a kind, everything changed.
I know what you must think— you’d expect him to beg for you to come back. Instead, he acts as if he hates you.
Onde é que está a lógica? Bem, deixem-me explicar-vos como é que as coisas funcionam aqui.
Este homem odeia mesmo o facto de apercebeu-se do que perdeu. Ele continua à sua procura noutras mulheres but he finally realized that you’re nowhere to be found.
At the end of the day, he knows that he can’t have you back. His pride doesn’t let him beg you for forgiveness so he chooses to hate you instead!
9. Deixaste de o amar
There is one thing your ex-partner will never forgive you for: the fact that you stopped loving him. It doesn’t matter if he still has feelings for you or not— deep down, this man expects you to spend the rest of your life grieving the end of your relationship.
Mesmo que entre numa nova relação, he expects to remain in your heart forever. He hopes that you’ll remember him when you’re old and wrinkled and always think of him as the love of your life.
What happens when his dreams burst like a bubble? What happens when he understands that this scenario is unlikely to happen and that you’ve already stopped loving him?
Bem, esta constatação destrói-lhe o ego frágil. Em vez de ficar feliz por terem acabado com as coisas como dois adultos, ele escolhe odiar-te.
Quero dizer, como é que tiveste a decência de o apagar do teu coração? Claro que, de alguma forma, ele ignora o facto de ter sido ele a dar-te com os pés!
On the other hand, if you spent all of this time trying to get your ex back, that would probably satisfy his ego. Luckily for you, that didn’t happen!
10. Ele tem ciúmes de ti
Lembras-te de eu te ter dito que o teu o ex é ciumento of your new relationship, when you asked me: “Why did my ex hate me when he dumped me?” the first time? Well, there is more than one way for this man to be jealous.
Por vezes, o teu ex tem ciúmes de tudo o que conseguiste desde que te deixou. Ou deverei dizer inveja?
De qualquer forma, this guy clearly expected for your life to be over the moment he walked away from you. He didn’t expect for you to voltar atrás para seguir a pista tão pouco tempo depois da separação.
However, that’s exactly what you did. You didn’t lament over your sad destiny and you didn’t beg him to take you back.
Tomou a sua própria vida nas suas mãos e começou a trabalhar em si próprio.
You look better than ever. You got a new, better job, you’ve hit the gym, you’re traveling and you’ve finally started enjoying life.
What about him? Well, he’s still a sorry piece of garbage he’s always been.
You’re clearly more successful than him and he hates you because of it.
11. O seu comportamento nas redes sociais
Are you still friends with your ex on social media? If not, check whether he’s following you from a Finsta or another fake account.
Se ele a vir a divertir-se à grande em toda a sua redes sociaisSe o seu ódio não for o mais forte, pode ser essa a razão do seu ódio. Quero dizer, ele acabou contigo e tu publicaste um selfie sensual the very next day. Or even worse, you’re posting new men all the time.
But what did he expect? I suppose he hoped that you’ll be posting sad songs and nostalgic quotes so all of your subscribers and followers know that you’re heartbroken.
Another thing that might bother him are your status updates in which you talk trash about him. You’re probably not tagging him or even naming him but you keep on posting quotes about a shitty ex.
Or he just hates you because you blocked him and he can’t see your posts anymore.
12. Não estabeleceu contacto
Porque é que o meu ex me odeia quando me deixou? Bem, se foste nenhum contacto logo após a separação, aí está a sua resposta.
You’re not replying to his phone calls and text messages. You’ve stopped showing up at places where you could run into him.
Desejou-lhe boa sorte na vida e foi tudo. He knows nothing about you and it looks like you’ve really put a stop to this relationship.
Mas a melhor parte é que isto não é uma espécie de jogo mental que se tenta jogar para recuperar o seu ex. You really want to leave him in the past, where he belongs— that’s why you cut all ties.
It looks like you did exactly what he wanted you to do— you left him alone and you disappeared from his life. So, what is he upset about now?
13. Ele ainda te ama
Há que ter consciência de uma coisa: hatred and love are actually quite similar. To be exact, they’re two sides of the same coin.
Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that, if your ex hates you, it means that in some twisted way, ele ainda te ama. Hate is not the opposite of love – indifference is.
Este homem está dominado por uma masculinidade tóxica e tem dificuldade em admitir que ainda sente algo por si, especialmente porque foi ele que acabou com tudo.
So, it’s easier for him to transform all of his love (especially if he knows it has become one-sided) into anger and hatred.
Se espera obter o teu ex de volta, trust me you still have a chance. On the other hand, if he is indifferent, it means that he’s really over you.
As long as he hates you, it means you’re present in his heart. It means he is still thinking of you and wasting energy on you.
Como é que se sabe se o ex nos odeia?
Se o seu ex-marido or ex-boyfriend talks trash about you, tries to “steal” your melhores amigos e os vira contra si, e usa todas as oportunidades que tem para o insultar, uma coisa é certa: ele odeia-o. But sadly, things don’t end here.
Sempre que se encontram acidentalmente, ele olha para si de forma desagradável. Esforça-se por humilhá-la e envergonhá-la e até diz às pessoas que a odeia.
Apesar de não terem mantido contacto, ele continua a enviar-lhe mensagens de texto insultuosas. Mesmo quando lhe perguntas alguma coisa (por exemplo, se queres devolver as tuas coisas), ele é sempre mal-educado.
Este homem revelou os teus segredos mais obscuros ao mundo inteiro. Ele discute com os vossos amigos comuns sempre que saem consigo e ele publica actualizações de estado de raiva em todo o seu redes sociais contas.
Se consegue relacionar o seu ex-parceiro com a maioria destas coisas, não há margem para dúvidas: ele é o seu odiador número um!
O que significa odiar o seu ex?
Odiar o seu ex é um sinal claro de que ainda tens sentimentos por ele. Detesto ter de vos dizer isto, mas isto significa que you haven’t moved on.
Quer dizer, ele ainda está presente nos teus pensamentos. Da mesma forma que o teu amor por ele te consumia, este ódio avassalador faz agora o mesmo.
Não paras de pensar em todas as formas como ele te partiu o coração. Pensamentos de vingança não te deixa dormir à noite e tudo o que queres é fazê-lo sofrer.
Look, I’m not here to judge you. You have your reasons to feel this way and I bet this man deserves you to hate him.
However, trust me when I tell you that hatred won’t bring you anything good. Besides, it’s a negative emotion that doesn’t affect him in any way possible.
Mas, por outro lado, infecta-nos. It’s a poison that makes you a bad, toxic person. A poison that doesn‘t let you move on with your life the way you should.
That’s why it’s crucial for you to do your best to get rid of this horrible feeling of hatred. I know that this is easier said than done but please, find the strength in your heart to stop hating him!
Para terminar:
The next time you ask yourself why does my ex hate me when he dumped me, remember that hatred is a sign of failure. You must wonder: “Why is my ex angry at me if I didn’t do anything to hurt him?”
First of all, keep in mind that it is a sign of weakness. He clearly doesn’t have the courage to face his true emotions and to accept that he’s made a mistake by leaving you.
Also, if he really moved on and if he is happy, he wouldn’t have had the time or the energy to think about you, let alone to waste so much energy on hating you.
Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is to tomar o seu ódio como um elogio. It is a clear sign that you’re still extremely important to this man!
