¿Por qué me odia mi ex cuando me dejó? 13 razones secretas

Tu ex fue quien puso fin a las cosas. Te dejó y decidió que era hora de que cada uno siguiera su camino.

Pero ahora, de repente, actúa como si fuera al revés. Habla mal de ti, te insulta siempre que tiene ocasión y sabotea tu nueva vida.

It’s more than obvious that this man can’t stand your guts. Naturally, you can’t help but wonder: “Por qué me odia mi ex when he dumped me?” I mean, his behavior makes no sense whatsoever!

Well, if you dig a little deeper under the surface, you’ll find out why he feels this way.

¿Por qué me odia mi ex cuando me dejó?

Here are the possible reasons hidden behind your ex partner’s hatred:

1. Está celoso de tu nueva relación

One of the first reasons why your ex-partner can’t stand your guts is the fact that you’ve avanzó demasiado rápido. Well, at least, that’s what he thinks. You two might not be together for months but for one reason or another, he thinks that it’s too soon for you to iniciar una nueva relación.

Maybe he hasn’t been thinking about you so much since you two broke up. Sin embargo, en cuanto se enteró de que salías con alguien nuevo, empezó a odiarte.

This man is clearly angry because you moved on and he hasn’t managed to find a healthy relationship since he left you. Nevertheless, he had a hard time processing his anger and turned it into hatred.

One thing is for sure: if your ex-boyfriend hates you, he is jealous of your new relationship. Your ex feels that this new guy in your life is making you happy and he’d die to be in his place.

2. Se arrepiente de su decisión

Cuando te preguntas por qué mi ex me odia si me dejó, tienes que cavar más profundo para obtener una respuesta real. Créeme cuando te digo que hay algo oculto detrás de su odio.

En tu caso, lo más probable es que se arrepiente de su decisión. After all this time, your ex realized he’s cometió el error de su vida cuando rompió contigo.

But of course, he wouldn’t admit this, even if his life depended on it. He is probably too proud to face this fact by himself, let alone to admit it to you.

A fin de cuentas, su odio en realidad no tiene nada que ver con hacer contigo. He doesn’t hate you— he hates himself and all the wrong choices he’s made.

But he knows he can’t change the past: what’s done is done. So, instead of blaming himself for this whole mess, it’s easier for him to redirect this hatred towards you.

3. Sus amigos comunes eligieron su bando

Just because your romance didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to hang out with your amigos comunes. However, your ex-husband or boyfriend doesn’t feel that way.

Whenever he finds out that they’ve been spending time with you, his friends get an endless rant. He accuses them of picking your side and stabbing him in the back.

Una vez más, sus sentimientos no tienen nada que ver contigo. Tu ex obviamente esperaba que todos se pusieran de su lado y te abandonaran de la misma manera que él lo hizo.

Maybe these people didn’t even choose sides. They just hoped to remain friends with both of you but he didn’t allow it. This is especially true if these are the people he introduced you to.

Or they realized what he did to you and don’t want to be friends with a man like that. Either way, it‘s clear that your ex wants you to be all alone, now that you’ve lost him.

4. La ruptura es culpa tuya

When there is a break-up, we all like to see ourselves as the good guys of the story— especially if we’re the ones being dumped. However, the truth is frequently different. Guess what: just because your ex was the one to walk away, it doesn’t mean that he is guilty for ending your relationship.

Sé que es una píldora difícil de tragar, pero hay muchas posibilidades de que tus acciones causaran la ruptura; él sólo fue quien puso el punto final a vuestro romance.

Basically, your ex hates you because you broke his heart. He can’t seem to forget all the bad things you did to him and he finds you responsible for the end of your relationship.

Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s right. This might just be his perception of things and his version of reality.

But at the end of the day, you shouldn’t rack your brain about this. He decided that you’re the evil ex-girlfriend and things will stay that way, no matter what you do.

5. He can’t forgive you

Whether you like to admit it or not, you’re the one who made your ex hate you. It only appears that he lets go of your relationship but the truth is that he is still bothered by everything that went on between you two.

Even though he left you, he is still holding grudges over the things you did to him. There is obviously something he can’t forgive you for.

¿Es el horrible desamor you’ve put him through? (Yes, dumpers get their hearts broken as well.) Is it the fact that you failed to give him the primer puesto en tu vida?

¿Le engañaste mientras estabais juntos? Tal vez te pilló pero él decidió deliberadamente no contarte nada al respecto.

It can be something that happened last week or last year. It can be something you find completely irrelevant to your relationship but it obviously hurt him and he can’t forget it.

6. Traicionaste su confianza

Here’s one thing you must know about post-breakup behavior: just because you’re no longer in a romantic relationship with someone, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for you to betray their trust.

You can’t go around telling your boyfriend’s secrets and if you do, that makes you a bad person.

However, that’s exactly what you did. You were probably angry about the way he left you and you shared everything you know about him with the world.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve only confined to your best friend— somehow, your words got to him.

Or you suddenly became friends with his arch enemies. Maybe you started hanging out with some guys you both “hated” while you were together or even worse, you started dating someone who is off-limits, such as his BFF.

Technically, you didn’t do anything wrong— you didn’t cheat on him. But deep down, you know you’ve violated the después de la ruptura moral code and that’s why he can’t stand you!

7. You’re badmouthing him

¿Por qué me odia mi ex cuando me dejó? Antes de responder a esta pregunta, déjame preguntarte lo siguiente: ¿Has estado hablando mal de él desde que rompisteis?

I know you’re going through a tough heartbreak. You probably hate him as well for the way he walked away from you.

Please don’t go around telling people: “Mi ex novio is a piece of trash,” and stuff like that! It’s one thing if your mejor amigo es el único que oye estas despotrica.

However, if you’re talking cosas malas sobre él a su amigos comunes¡se va a enterar!

Besides, you’re not talking trash about him only— you’re embarrassing yourself as well. Don’t forget that this man was your choice— it’s not like somebody forced you to be with him.

No matter what he did to you, always do your best to keep your dignity. This way, it only looks like you’re more focused on him than on your own life and that equals desperation.

8. Se dio cuenta de lo que había perdido

Muchos hombres tienen que sentir tu ausencia para aprender a apreciar tu presencia. It’s like they’re doomed or something, haha.

I mean, we’re talking about a man who never appreciated you while he had you around. Instead of treating you the way you deserved, he acted as if you were replaceable.

But now, when he realized that you’re one of a kind, everything changed.

I know what you must think— you’d expect him to beg for you to come back. Instead, he acts as if he hates you.

¿Dónde está la lógica? Bueno, déjame explicarte cómo funcionan las cosas aquí.

Este hombre realmente odia el hecho de que se dio cuenta de lo que perdió. Sigue buscándote en otras mujeres but he finally realized that you’re nowhere to be found.

At the end of the day, he knows that he can’t have you back. His pride doesn’t let him beg you for forgiveness so he chooses to hate you instead!

9. Dejaste de quererle

There is one thing your ex-partner will never forgive you for: the fact that you stopped loving him. It doesn’t matter if he still has feelings for you or not— deep down, this man expects you to spend the rest of your life grieving the end of your relationship.

Aunque te metas en un nueva relación, he expects to remain in your heart forever. He hopes that you’ll remember him when you’re old and wrinkled and always think of him as the love of your life.

What happens when his dreams burst like a bubble? What happens when he understands that this scenario is unlikely to happen and that you’ve already stopped loving him?

Pues bien, esta toma de conciencia destruye su frágil ego. En lugar de alegrarse de que hayáis roto como dos adultos, elige odiarte.

¿Cómo tuviste la decencia de borrarlo de tu corazón? ¡Por supuesto, de alguna manera ignora el hecho de que fue él quien te dejó!

On the other hand, if you spent all of this time trying to get your ex back, that would probably satisfy his ego. Luckily for you, that didn’t happen!

10. Está celoso de ti

¿Recuerdas que te dije que tu ex es celoso of your new relationship, when you asked me: “Why did my ex hate me when he dumped me?” the first time? Well, there is more than one way for this man to be jealous.

A veces, tu ex estará celoso de todo lo que has conseguido desde que te dejó. ¿O debería decir envidia?

De cualquier manera, this guy clearly expected for your life to be over the moment he walked away from you. He didn’t expect for you to volver para rastrear tan pronto después de la ruptura.

However, that’s exactly what you did. You didn’t lament over your sad destiny and you didn’t beg him to take you back.

Volviste a tomar tu propia vida en tus manos y empezaste a trabajar en ti mismo.

You look better than ever. You got a new, better job, you’ve hit the gym, you’re traveling and you’ve finally started enjoying life.

What about him? Well, he’s still a sorry piece of garbage he’s always been.

You’re clearly more successful than him and he hates you because of it.

11. Su comportamiento en las redes sociales

Are you still friends with your ex on social media? If not, check whether he’s following you from a Finsta or another fake account.

Si este tipo te ve divirtiéndote como nunca con tu redes socialesEsa puede ser la razón de su odio. Quiero decir, él rompió contigo y tú publicaste un selfie caliente the very next day. Or even worse, you’re posting new men all the time.

But what did he expect? I suppose he hoped that you’ll be posting sad songs and nostalgic quotes so all of your subscribers and followers know that you’re heartbroken.

Another thing that might bother him are your status updates in which you talk trash about him. You’re probably not tagging him or even naming him but you keep on posting quotes about a shitty ex.

Or he just hates you because you blocked him and he can’t see your posts anymore.

12. Te fuiste sin contacto

¿Por qué me odia mi ex cuando me dejó? Bueno, si fuiste ningún contacto justo después de la ruptura, ahí tienes la respuesta.

You’re not replying to his phone calls and text messages. You’ve stopped showing up at places where you could run into him.

Le deseaste buena suerte en la vida y eso fue todo. He knows nothing about you and it looks like you’ve really put a stop to this relationship.

Pero lo mejor es que no se trata de un juego mental al que intentas jugar para recuperar a tu ex. You really want to leave him in the past, where he belongs— that’s why you cut all ties.

It looks like you did exactly what he wanted you to do— you left him alone and you disappeared from his life. So, what is he upset about now?

13. Todavía te quiere

Tienes que ser consciente de una cosa: hatred and love are actually quite similar. To be exact, they’re two sides of the same coin.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that, if your ex hates you, it means that in some twisted way, todavía te quiere. Hate is not the opposite of love – indifference is.

Este hombre está abrumado por la masculinidad tóxica y le cuesta admitir que aún siente algo por ti, sobre todo porque fue él quien rompió las cosas.

So, it’s easier for him to transform all of his love (especially if he knows it has become one-sided) into anger and hatred.

Si espera conseguir recuperar a tu ex, trust me you still have a chance. On the other hand, if he is indifferent, it means that he’s really over you.

As long as he hates you, it means you’re present in his heart. It means he is still thinking of you and wasting energy on you.

¿Cómo saber si tu ex te odia?

Si su ex-marido or ex-boyfriend talks trash about you, tries to “steal” your mejores amigos y los pone en tu contra, y aprovecha cada oportunidad que tiene para insultarte, una cosa es segura: te odia a muerte. But sadly, things don’t end here.

Cada vez que os encontráis por casualidad, te mira mal. Se esfuerza por humillarte y avergonzarte e incluso le dice a la gente que te odia.

A pesar de que habéis dejado de tener contacto, sigue enviándote mensajes de texto insulsos. Incluso cuando le preguntas algo (por ejemplo, si quieres recuperar tus cosas), siempre es grosero.

Este hombre reveló tus secretos más oscuros al mundo entero. Discute con tu amigos comunes cada vez que salen contigo y publica actualizaciones de estado enfadado por todo su redes sociales cuentas.

Si puedes relacionar a tu ex pareja con la mayoría de estas cosas, no hay lugar a dudas: ¡es tu odiador número uno!

¿Qué significa que odies a tu ex?

Odiar a tu ex es una clara señal de que todavía sientes algo por él. Odio tener que decírtelo pero esto significa que you haven’t moved on.

Es decir, sigue presente en tus pensamientos. Del mismo modo que tu amor por él te consumía, este odio abrumador ahora hace lo mismo.

No dejas de pensar en todas las formas en que te rompió el corazón. Pensamientos de venganza no te deja dormir y lo único que quieres es hacerle sufrir.

Look, I’m not here to judge you. You have your reasons to feel this way and I bet this man deserves you to hate him.

However, trust me when I tell you that hatred won’t bring you anything good. Besides, it’s a negative emotion that doesn’t affect him in any way possible.

Pero, por otro lado, te infecta. It’s a poison that makes you a bad, toxic person. A poison that doesn‘t let you move on with your life the way you should.

That’s why it’s crucial for you to do your best to get rid of this horrible feeling of hatred. I know that this is easier said than done but please, find the strength in your heart to stop hating him!

Para terminar:

The next time you ask yourself why does my ex hate me when he dumped me, remember that hatred is a sign of failure. You must wonder: “Why is my ex angry at me if I didn’t do anything to hurt him?”

First of all, keep in mind that it is a sign of weakness. He clearly doesn’t have the courage to face his true emotions and to accept that he’s made a mistake by leaving you.

Also, if he really moved on and if he is happy, he wouldn’t have had the time or the energy to think about you, let alone to waste so much energy on hating you.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is to tomar su odio como un cumplido. It is a clear sign that you’re still extremely important to this man!