Relacionamento de 3 meses: 12 mudanças que estão prestes a acontecer (e 7 sinais de alerta)
When you first start dating someone, it’s like you entered a whole new magical world that is full of fun and excitement because everything you do, you’re doing it for the first time together!
Enviar uma mensagem de texto ao seu novo namorado ou namorada dá-lhe tanta alegria que só tem de reler tudo o que lhe enviam (normalmente antes de adormecer), sonha acordado com o momento e a expressão facial dele quando finalmente lhe diz aquelas três palavras: Eu amo-te.
Every time you open up to each other about any totally random, little thing, it feels like you’re instantly getting closer and closer and your level of trust significantly deepens.
Ri-se de todas as coisas engraçadas que aconteceram na semana passada ou na sua primeiro encontroe, de dois em dois dias, lançamo-nos em novas aventuras.
You feel free, rejuvenated, and loved. You feel like anything is possible when you’re together because the world, all of a sudden, doesn’t have limits.
You seek dating advice and relationship advice from everywhere and everyone because you’re so anxious that you’ll fuck things up – and that’s why you landed up here reading this.
No matter which stage of the relationship you’re at right now, use ESTE GUIA para não cometer erros.
You were looking for the things that characterize the first three months of a relationship so that you can know where you stand. And you’ve done the right thing!
É que, quando se entra numa nova relação, basicamente introduz-se o fase de lua de mel, which lasts for 90 days – in other words, 3 meses de namoro.
And this phase is critical. It’s at this time when you usually decide whether or not you’re ready for a relação duradoura – whether you’re ready to either take it to the nível seguinte ou romper.
Many people start doubting their relationship at the three-month mark, so we could say it’s totally normal for you to feel this way also.
Afinal, como é que se pode ter a certeza de que o que se tem agora vai evoluir para uma relação saudável ou para algo totalmente oposto?
No worries – that’s why I’m here today. The first part consists of a list of changes that are bound to (and should) happen in every 3-month relationship.
A segunda parte abrange as alterações que podem ser potenciais sinais de alerta aos quais deve prestar especial atenção!
Certifique-se de que não há surpresas e aprenda tudo o que há para saber sobre a psique masculina e a força motriz por detrás das suas acções nas relações: CLIQUE AQUI.
RELAÇÃO DE 3 MESES: 12 MUDANÇAS QUE NÃO PODEM DEIXAR DE ACONTECER
A fase de lua de mel começará a desvanecer-se
Como já foi dito acima, a fase de lua de mel é como entrar num novo mundo mágico, cheio de diversão e emoção, e dura cerca de três meses.
Esta fase é tão viciante que a maioria de nós quer ficar lá para sempre só para continuar a sentir essa felicidade.
But, unfortunately, this is not really possible because at some point (usually after three months), the honeymoon phase will begin to fade. But, don’t be mistaken.
This doesn’t mean that your feelings will begin to fade or anything like that.
It means that all that bliss and magic that you’ve felt from the beginning will start turning into something more serious.
When you enter a relationship, it feels like you’ve just been born and everything around you is new, therefore, exciting.
Mas, com o passar do tempo, habituamo-nos a todas essas coisas e a magia desaparece gradualmente.
The exact same thing happens to relationships as well, and this is perfectly normal because it means that you’re evolving!
You’ll stop playing dating games and be more relaxed around each other
When you just start dating, you’re overly concerned about basically everything.
You worry that you’re texting them too much, you’re afraid that you’re giving them too many likes on social media, you’re scared that they’ll think you’re playing hard to get, you don’t want to seem needy or pushy, you wait for a specific sequence of things to take place before you decide to take some action.
All of these can be classified as sweet, dating games that every couple goes through. It shows that you like each other a lot and that’s why you’re so anxious about not ruining anything.
But, after three months have passed, you’ll be more relaxed around each other and you won’t think about all those things that much.
You won’t worry about what they will think of you if you send them that specific text message at a specific time, or whatever the case may be. You’ll be stress-free and casual!
You’ll start feeling like you’re ready to say: I love you
Every relationship progresses at its own pace and there isn’t a guide that can tell you when the right time is to say those three words.
For that, you have to follow your heart and listen to your feelings. Usually, people start feeling like they’re ready to say Eu amo-te após três meses ou mais.
After so much time spent together and all the fun you’ve had, you will start feeling those warm sensations telling you that you should profess your love because you’re perfectly ready.
You will often fantasize about saying it and even though you’ll feel like you’re ready, it’s understandable that you may have certain levels of anxiety about saying it, which is totally normal because it’s not something you say every day to someone!
You’ll start using the words “us” and “we”
When you just start dating, it’s you and them. You’re still two separate individuals in the process of uniting.
But, gradually, this changes as well and you start using the words “us” and “we” instead of “you” and “I.”
You start making both big and small future plans like going to a concert, visiting that one special place you’ve talked about, trying certain food, watching an addictive series that’s about to get released…
Começa a pensar nos dois e não apenas nos seus próprios desejos e vontades.
Os seus gostos e aversões tornam-se os deles ou transformam-se num compromisso.
You make sure to plan things in advance because you want to keep spending every second with each other. You take care about each other’s happiness.
And that’s what the right relationship is all about.
Ver também: 7 diferenças entre uma relação tóxica e uma saudável
Não se importam nada de se verem em edições casuais
No início de cada nova relação, passamos 90% do nosso tempo a pensar em como podemos impressionar a pessoa especial.
You choose perfect outfits, you never leave your house without shaving beforehand or doing your makeup (if you’re a girl), you take special care of your hairstyle, and so on.
You do all of this because you want everything to be perfect. You like them so much that you just can’t leave anything to chance.
Mas, ao fim de algum tempo, tudo isto começará a mudar, o que significa que não haverá qualquer problema em verem-se em edições casuais.
Não se importam nada de se verem um ao outro sem se barbearem, sem maquilhagem, de pijama e em dias de mau cabelo.
But, this doesn’t mean that you should get lazy or that you will get lazy.
Vai continuar a querer mostrar o seu melhor, mas de uma forma mais informal, o que não tem preço!
You’ll be more relaxed around each other’s friends
Meeting each other’s friends for the first time was probably a fun experience, but it came with lots of anxiety as well.
Given that you wanted to leave a good impression, you just couldn’t be 100% relaxed in front of them.
Estava tão preocupado com o facto de gostarem de si que se sentia literalmente como se estivesse numa entrevista de emprego em vez de num encontro.
And that’s another perk of starting a new relationship. But, around three months, this also changes.
You’re naturally more relaxed around each other’s friends. You’re more casual and there are less awkward situations or silent moments.
Nesta altura, já sabe muitas coisas sobre os seus amigos e vice-versa e passar tempo com eles começa a parecer uma casa.
You’ll be more open and start revealing each other’s secrets and embarrassing things
Por mais aberto que se seja por natureza, nunca se pode ser demasiado aberto no primeiro dia e no primeiro mês, ou nos dois seguintes, porque construir confiança e um ambiente sem preocupações onde se sinta confiante e suficientemente seguro para abrir-se sobre as coisas leva tempo.
After you’ve been together for some time, you start being more open about things such as your past love life and your emotions.
You’re more open about literally everything – your secrets, all the embarrassing things that happened in your childhood, and the like.
Sentem-se suficientemente à vontade para chorar à frente um do outro quando as vossas emoções assim o exigem.
You share all of your fears, talk about things that made you the person you are today, and open up about your life-changing events and people who had the strongest impact on your development –your role models.
And you collect all of this data in your brain’s special compartment, nurture it, and later rewind all of it with a smile on your face.
You won’t feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7
When you’re still at the initial stages of getting to know each other, you spend lots of your time on the phone texting or calling each other.
Your phone becomes the main communication tool because you want to know everything about each other, and for that, you’d need to be together 24/7.
You know that’s quite impossible and that’s when your phone comes in handy.
That’s why you literally become attached to your phone every second of every day, impatiently waiting for them to reply to your text messages, return your missed call, and talk into the small hours until you fall asleep.
But this lasts for the first few months and after that, you won’t feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7 because you’ll rather choose to save some topics for when you’re seeing each other in person.
Nesta fase da relação, a comunicação olhos nos olhos torna-se a sua principal ferramenta para criar laços e trocar ideias.
You’ll fight a little more often
Uma vez que todas as novas relações precisam de algum tempo para progredir e para que duas pessoas comecem a abrir-se, haverá poucas ou nenhumas discussões logo no início.
Why? Because you’re still trying to get to know each other, you don’t know each other’s likes and dislikes, points of view, and true personality.
When you’re still in the process of getting to know each other, there is no space for fights or arguments.
You just absorb everything, connect the dots, and create each other’s profiles in your heads.
E depois, só passado algum tempo, poderão começar a discutir um pouco mais frequentemente, porque se sentirão mais confortáveis, descontraídos e sem medo de dizer o que realmente querem dizer.
You’ll open up more and more to each other, and arguments will be just an inevitable part of that process.
Fighting a bit more often, compromising, and accepting each other’s differences are clear signs of every healthy relationship!
Ver também: 7 argumentos que você tem que sinalizam o começo do fim
You’ll start thinking about meeting each other’s family
Not everyone of us has the same opinion regarding introducing their family to the person they’ve started dating.
Alguns de nós optam por o fazer mais cedo, outros guardam-no para mais tarde. Mais uma vez, tudo depende do indivíduo e das suas intenções.
Usually, after a few months of dating, it comes naturally to the majority of us to start thinking about meeting each other’s family.
You want them to see who the beautiful-inside-and-out person you’re with is and share your joy with them.
Querem unir as vossas famílias porque elas são uma grande parte da vossa vida e de quem são hoje.
E quer ouvir todas aquelas histórias embaraçosas da infância e pormenores sumarentos que só os pais têm coragem de contar.
As a matter of fact, parents enjoy retelling every detail from their child’s first steps to when they did something ultimately stupid yet no one could blame them for it because they were just kids.
You’ll spend most of your Friday nights on the couch (without any regrets)
There’s nothing more exciting in the whole world than the first few dates when you just start dating.
You’re full of romantic ideas and you want to visit every place together, which means spending lots of time mostly outside and doing all the fun activities suited to new couples.
À medida que a fase da lua de mel avança, o conceito das vossas noites de namoro também vai mudar.
This means that at one point you’ll start spending most of your Friday nights on the couch watching Netflix and enjoying your favorite foods, without any regrets about not visiting a new exciting place together.
Over time, you’ll become totally casual and enjoy every second of each night spent curled up next to each other while watching your favorite TV shows.
You’ll be honest about who you truly are
After some time spent together (after a few months), you’ll become honest to the core about who you are – about your dislikes and likes, dreams, perspective on different things – and you’ll also know each other’s flaws and quirks.
You won’t pretend that you’re okay with something just because you want to be polite.
You’ll express your concern or discontent in a polite manner when you need to and expect the same from your partner.
You’ll discuss things on a daily basis and learn to compromise when you can’t agree on something.
Ser honesto sobre quem realmente é, aceitar todas as suas peculiaridades e defeitos e estar disposto a comprometer-se são a base de qualquer relação saudável e bem sucedida no futuro.
RELAÇÃO DE 3 MESES: 7 (POTENCIAIS) SINAIS DE ALERTA
Now that we know all the changes that are bound to happen in a relationship after a few months, it’s time to move to more serious matters.
It’s time to learn about all the (potential) sinais de alerta que podem destruir qualquer relação (especialmente os novos, porque podem facilmente perder a força).
Falta de textos giros e espontâneos
While it’s true that after three months, you will no longer feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7, this doesn’t mean that you should stop sending those cute, spontaneous texts that mean so much and can brighten your day.
Estes textos são uma parte importante de qualquer relação porque ajudam a manter viva a chama!
And if you notice that, as time progresses, you’re less likely to send each other those cute texts or retell something funny that happened to you at work, you know that you’re subconsciously killing your relationship or preventing it from turning into something more serious.
Já não se surpreendem uns aos outros com pequenas coisas
Every dating or relationship coach will tell you the exact same thing: It’s all in the little things. And, indeed, it is.
Manter uma relação significa fazer um esforço para continuar a surpreender o outro com todas aquelas pequenas coisas que significam tanto.
E se, a dada altura, deixar de o fazer, a sua relação começará a perder gradualmente o seu encanto inicial e tornar-se-á sem amor.
Deixar de planear coisas divertidas para fazer em conjunto
Tal como os textos espontâneos e as surpresas um ao outro, planear coisas divertidas é outro aspeto importante de uma relação saudável e duradoura.
It’s something that keeps your passion alive and should be an essential part of your everyday lives.
While watching Netflix and chilling on a Friday night is something you should definitely do, still this shouldn’t be the only thing that you do when you’re together.
It’s important to bring some variety into your relationship – variety means excitement.
Não sermos capazes de sermos genuínos uns com os outros
Este é provavelmente um dos maiores sinais de alerta de que a sua relação de 3 meses não vai durar muito mais tempo.
If you’re still not feel at ease telling each other secrets, opening up, and being who you really are in front of each other, then you know there’s something just not right – something unsaid that will keep creating a huge gap between the two of you.
And if you’re not comfortable enough to be with each other, even after you’ve spent lots of time together, then you know you shouldn’t take this fact for granted.
Não fazer planos para o futuro
Outro potencial sinal de alerta que pode surgir numa relação de 3 meses é a falta de conversa sobre planos futuros.
Those partners who talk about their hopes, dreams, and future plans together are basically telling each other that they want to stay in each other’s lives and make sure to include their partner in their every future activity and life-changing event.
Se a sua relação não tem este aspeto, deve perguntar-se seriamente se está no caminho certo ou se deve mudar de faixa.
Ver também: If You Can’t Talk To Him About These 5 Things, Your Relationship Has No Future
Não fazer da sua relação uma prioridade
There’s a huge difference between making your relationship the ONLY priority and making your relationship a priority.
You should never make your relationship your only priority – it’s unhealthy for the both of you – but you should definitely treat it as a major priority.
This includes constant effort, surprising each other, not making excuses for why you haven’t showed up on a date, and the like.
Implica confiança, respeito mútuo, apreço e luta pelo que se tem.
If there’s none of this, then you know your relationship won’t last.
Não poderem confiar uns nos outros
As relações não são apenas encontros divertidos e Netflix e chill. Também têm a ver com apoiarmo-nos mutuamente e poderem confiar uns nos outros.
If you can’t trust your partner to the extent of sharing everything with them, then it’s time to question your relationship.
If you can’t rely on your partner when something bad happens to you or you’re feeling off, then it’s time to question your relationship.
If you’re the only one going out of your way to make things work, then you should definitely question your relationship.
Lembre-se que são precisos dois para dançar o tango!
If your partner is not willing to invest in your relationship and fight for it, then there’s nothing you can do on your own.
Só o respeito mútuo, o apreço e o esforço são capazes de resistir mesmo às piores condições.
Só o verdadeiro amor é capaz de viver para sempre sem perder o seu encanto inicial! E o verdadeiro amor exige sacrifícios.
Ver também: 8 regras que tens absolutamente de seguir se quiseres manter uma relação a longo prazo
