3 meses de relación: 12 cambios inevitables (y 7 señales de alarma)
When you first start dating someone, it’s like you entered a whole new magical world that is full of fun and excitement because everything you do, you’re doing it for the first time together!
Enviar mensajes de texto a tu nuevo novio o novia te produce tanta alegría que simplemente tienes que releer todo lo que te envían (normalmente justo antes de quedarte dormido), sueñas despierto con el momento y su expresión facial cuando por fin les dices esas tres palabras: Te quiero.
Every time you open up to each other about any totally random, little thing, it feels like you’re instantly getting closer and closer and your level of trust significantly deepens.
Te ríes de todas las cosas divertidas que ocurrieron la semana pasada o en tu primera citay te lanzas a nuevas aventuras cada dos días.
You feel free, rejuvenated, and loved. You feel like anything is possible when you’re together because the world, all of a sudden, doesn’t have limits.
You seek dating advice and relationship advice from everywhere and everyone because you’re so anxious that you’ll fuck things up – and that’s why you landed up here reading this.
No matter which stage of the relationship you’re at right now, use ESTA GUÍA para no cometer errores.
You were looking for the things that characterize the first three months of a relationship so that you can know where you stand. And you’ve done the right thing!
Verás, cuando entras en un nueva relaciónbásicamente se introduce el fase de luna de miel, which lasts for 90 days – in other words, 3 meses de noviazgo.
And this phase is critical. It’s at this time when you usually decide whether or not you’re ready for a relación duradera – whether you’re ready to either take it to the siguiente nivel o romper.
Many people start doubting their relationship at the three-month mark, so we could say it’s totally normal for you to feel this way also.
Al fin y al cabo, ¿cómo vas a saber con seguridad que lo que tienes ahora se convertirá en una relación sana o en algo totalmente opuesto?
No worries – that’s why I’m here today. The first part consists of a list of changes that are bound to (and should) happen in every 3-month relationship.
La segunda parte trata de los cambios que podrían ser señales de alarma a las que debería prestar especial atención.
Asegúrate de que no haya sorpresas y aprende todo lo que hay que saber sobre la psique masculina y la fuerza que impulsa sus acciones en las relaciones: HAGA CLIC AQUÍ.
3 MESES DE RELACIÓN: 12 CAMBIOS INEVITABLES
La fase de luna de miel empezará a desvanecerse
Como ya se ha dicho anteriormente, la fase de luna de miel es como entrar en un nuevo mundo mágico lleno de diversión y emoción, y dura aproximadamente tres meses.
Esta fase es tan adictiva que la mayoría de nosotros queremos quedarnos ahí para siempre con tal de seguir sintiendo esa dicha.
But, unfortunately, this is not really possible because at some point (usually after three months), the honeymoon phase will begin to fade. But, don’t be mistaken.
This doesn’t mean that your feelings will begin to fade or anything like that.
It means that all that bliss and magic that you’ve felt from the beginning will start turning into something more serious.
When you enter a relationship, it feels like you’ve just been born and everything around you is new, therefore, exciting.
Pero, cuando pasa el tiempo, te acostumbras a todas esas cosas y la magia va desapareciendo poco a poco.
The exact same thing happens to relationships as well, and this is perfectly normal because it means that you’re evolving!
You’ll stop playing dating games and be more relaxed around each other
When you just start dating, you’re overly concerned about basically everything.
You worry that you’re texting them too much, you’re afraid that you’re giving them too many likes on social media, you’re scared that they’ll think you’re playing hard to get, you don’t want to seem needy or pushy, you wait for a specific sequence of things to take place before you decide to take some action.
All of these can be classified as sweet, dating games that every couple goes through. It shows that you like each other a lot and that’s why you’re so anxious about not ruining anything.
But, after three months have passed, you’ll be more relaxed around each other and you won’t think about all those things that much.
You won’t worry about what they will think of you if you send them that specific text message at a specific time, or whatever the case may be. You’ll be stress-free and casual!
You’ll start feeling like you’re ready to say: I love you
Every relationship progresses at its own pace and there isn’t a guide that can tell you when the right time is to say those three words.
For that, you have to follow your heart and listen to your feelings. Usually, people start feeling like they’re ready to say Te quiero después de tres meses o más.
After so much time spent together and all the fun you’ve had, you will start feeling those warm sensations telling you that you should profess your love because you’re perfectly ready.
You will often fantasize about saying it and even though you’ll feel like you’re ready, it’s understandable that you may have certain levels of anxiety about saying it, which is totally normal because it’s not something you say every day to someone!
You’ll start using the words “us” and “we”
When you just start dating, it’s you and them. You’re still two separate individuals in the process of uniting.
But, gradually, this changes as well and you start using the words “us” and “we” instead of “you” and “I.”
You start making both big and small future plans like going to a concert, visiting that one special place you’ve talked about, trying certain food, watching an addictive series that’s about to get released…
Empiezas a pensar por los dos y no sólo en tus propios deseos y anhelos.
Tus gustos y aversiones se convierten en los suyos o se convierten en un compromiso.
You make sure to plan things in advance because you want to keep spending every second with each other. You take care about each other’s happiness.
And that’s what the right relationship is all about.
Véase también: 7 diferencias entre una relación tóxica y una sana
Estaréis totalmente de acuerdo en veros en ediciones informales
Al principio de cada nueva relación, pasas 90% de tu tiempo pensando en cómo puedes impresionar a tu persona especial.
You choose perfect outfits, you never leave your house without shaving beforehand or doing your makeup (if you’re a girl), you take special care of your hairstyle, and so on.
You do all of this because you want everything to be perfect. You like them so much that you just can’t leave anything to chance.
Pero, después de algún tiempo, todo esto empezará a cambiar, lo que significa que estaréis totalmente de acuerdo en veros en ediciones informales.
No tendréis ningún problema en veros sin afeitar, sin maquillaje, en pijama y con el pelo fatal.
But, this doesn’t mean that you should get lazy or that you will get lazy.
Seguirás queriendo lucir tu mejor yo, pero de una forma más desenfadada, ¡lo cual no tiene precio!
You’ll be more relaxed around each other’s friends
Meeting each other’s friends for the first time was probably a fun experience, but it came with lots of anxiety as well.
Given that you wanted to leave a good impression, you just couldn’t be 100% relaxed in front of them.
Estabas tan preocupado por gustarles que literalmente te sentías como si estuvieras en una entrevista de trabajo en vez de en una quedada.
And that’s another perk of starting a new relationship. But, around three months, this also changes.
You’re naturally more relaxed around each other’s friends. You’re more casual and there are less awkward situations or silent moments.
A estas alturas, ya sabes muchas cosas sobre sus amigos y viceversa, y pasar tiempo con ellos empieza a sentirse como en casa.
You’ll be more open and start revealing each other’s secrets and embarrassing things
No importa lo abierta que seas por naturaleza, nunca puedes serlo demasiado el primer día y el primer mes, o los dos siguientes, porque crear confianza y un entorno sin preocupaciones en el que te sientas lo suficientemente segura y confiada para abrirse a las cosas lleva tiempo.
After you’ve been together for some time, you start being more open about things such as your past love life and your emotions.
You’re more open about literally everything – your secrets, all the embarrassing things that happened in your childhood, and the like.
Os sentís lo suficientemente cómodos como para llorar el uno delante del otro cuando vuestras emociones os lo piden.
You share all of your fears, talk about things that made you the person you are today, and open up about your life-changing events and people who had the strongest impact on your development –your role models.
And you collect all of this data in your brain’s special compartment, nurture it, and later rewind all of it with a smile on your face.
You won’t feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7
When you’re still at the initial stages of getting to know each other, you spend lots of your time on the phone texting or calling each other.
Your phone becomes the main communication tool because you want to know everything about each other, and for that, you’d need to be together 24/7.
You know that’s quite impossible and that’s when your phone comes in handy.
That’s why you literally become attached to your phone every second of every day, impatiently waiting for them to reply to your text messages, return your missed call, and talk into the small hours until you fall asleep.
But this lasts for the first few months and after that, you won’t feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7 because you’ll rather choose to save some topics for when you’re seeing each other in person.
En esta fase de la relación, la comunicación cara a cara se convierte en la principal herramienta para estrechar lazos e intercambiar ideas.
You’ll fight a little more often
Como toda nueva relación necesita un tiempo para progresar y para que las dos personas empiecen a abrirse, al principio no habrá apenas peleas.
Why? Because you’re still trying to get to know each other, you don’t know each other’s likes and dislikes, points of view, and true personality.
When you’re still in the process of getting to know each other, there is no space for fights or arguments.
You just absorb everything, connect the dots, and create each other’s profiles in your heads.
Y entonces, sólo después de algún tiempo, puede que empecéis a pelearos un poco más a menudo porque os sentiréis más cómodos, relajados y sin miedo a decir lo que realmente queréis decir.
You’ll open up more and more to each other, and arguments will be just an inevitable part of that process.
Fighting a bit more often, compromising, and accepting each other’s differences are clear signs of every healthy relationship!
Véase también: 7 discusiones que señalan el principio del fin
You’ll start thinking about meeting each other’s family
Not everyone of us has the same opinion regarding introducing their family to the person they’ve started dating.
Algunos optamos por hacerlo antes, y otros lo dejamos para más adelante. De nuevo, todo depende de la persona y de sus intenciones.
Usually, after a few months of dating, it comes naturally to the majority of us to start thinking about meeting each other’s family.
You want them to see who the beautiful-inside-and-out person you’re with is and share your joy with them.
Quieren unir a sus familias porque son una parte importante de su vida y de lo que son hoy.
Y quieres oír todas esas historias embarazosas de la infancia y detalles jugosos que sólo los padres tienen el valor de contar.
As a matter of fact, parents enjoy retelling every detail from their child’s first steps to when they did something ultimately stupid yet no one could blame them for it because they were just kids.
You’ll spend most of your Friday nights on the couch (without any regrets)
There’s nothing more exciting in the whole world than the first few dates when you just start dating.
You’re full of romantic ideas and you want to visit every place together, which means spending lots of time mostly outside and doing all the fun activities suited to new couples.
A medida que avance la luna de miel, también cambiará el concepto de las citas nocturnas.
This means that at one point you’ll start spending most of your Friday nights on the couch watching Netflix and enjoying your favorite foods, without any regrets about not visiting a new exciting place together.
Over time, you’ll become totally casual and enjoy every second of each night spent curled up next to each other while watching your favorite TV shows.
You’ll be honest about who you truly are
After some time spent together (after a few months), you’ll become honest to the core about who you are – about your dislikes and likes, dreams, perspective on different things – and you’ll also know each other’s flaws and quirks.
You won’t pretend that you’re okay with something just because you want to be polite.
You’ll express your concern or discontent in a polite manner when you need to and expect the same from your partner.
You’ll discuss things on a daily basis and learn to compromise when you can’t agree on something.
Ser honesto sobre quién eres realmente, aceptar todas tus rarezas y defectos y estar dispuesto a ceder son la base de toda relación sana y exitosa en el futuro.
RELACIÓN DE 3 MESES: 7 (POSIBLES) SEÑALES DE ALARMA
Now that we know all the changes that are bound to happen in a relationship after a few months, it’s time to move to more serious matters.
It’s time to learn about all the (potential) banderas rojas que podrían destruir cualquier relación (especialmente los nuevos, porque pueden esfumarse fácilmente).
Falta de textos bonitos y espontáneos
While it’s true that after three months, you will no longer feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7, this doesn’t mean that you should stop sending those cute, spontaneous texts that mean so much and can brighten your day.
Estos textos son una parte importante de toda relación, porque ayudan a mantener viva la chispa.
And if you notice that, as time progresses, you’re less likely to send each other those cute texts or retell something funny that happened to you at work, you know that you’re subconsciously killing your relationship or preventing it from turning into something more serious.
Ya no se sorprenden unos a otros con pequeñas cosas
Every dating or relationship coach will tell you the exact same thing: It’s all in the little things. And, indeed, it is.
Mantener una relación significa esforzarse por seguir sorprendiéndose mutuamente con todas esas pequeñas cosas que significan tanto.
Y si, en algún momento, dejas de hacerlo, tu relación empezará a perder poco a poco su encanto inicial y se convertirá en una relación sin amor.
Ya no planean cosas divertidas para hacer juntos
Al igual que los mensajes espontáneos y las sorpresas, planear cosas divertidas es otro aspecto importante de una relación sana y duradera.
It’s something that keeps your passion alive and should be an essential part of your everyday lives.
While watching Netflix and chilling on a Friday night is something you should definitely do, still this shouldn’t be the only thing that you do when you’re together.
It’s important to bring some variety into your relationship – variety means excitement.
No ser capaces de ser auténticos el uno con el otro.
Esta es probablemente una de las mayores señales de alarma de que tu relación de 3 meses no durará mucho más.
If you’re still not feel at ease telling each other secrets, opening up, and being who you really are in front of each other, then you know there’s something just not right – something unsaid that will keep creating a huge gap between the two of you.
And if you’re not comfortable enough to be with each other, even after you’ve spent lots of time together, then you know you shouldn’t take this fact for granted.
No hacer planes de futuro
Otra posible señal de alarma que podría aparecer en una relación de 3 meses es la falta de conversaciones sobre planes de futuro.
Those partners who talk about their hopes, dreams, and future plans together are basically telling each other that they want to stay in each other’s lives and make sure to include their partner in their every future activity and life-changing event.
Si tu relación carece de este aspecto, deberías plantearte seriamente si vas por el buen camino o deberías cambiar de carril.
Véase también: If You Can’t Talk To Him About These 5 Things, Your Relationship Has No Future
No hacer de tu relación una prioridad
There’s a huge difference between making your relationship the ONLY priority and making your relationship a priority.
You should never make your relationship your only priority – it’s unhealthy for the both of you – but you should definitely treat it as a major priority.
This includes constant effort, surprising each other, not making excuses for why you haven’t showed up on a date, and the like.
Implica confianza, respeto mutuo, aprecio y luchar por lo que se tiene.
If there’s none of this, then you know your relationship won’t last.
No poder confiar en los demás
Las relaciones no son sólo citas divertidas y Netflix and chill. También tienen que ver con apoyarse mutuamente y poder confiar los unos en los otros.
If you can’t trust your partner to the extent of sharing everything with them, then it’s time to question your relationship.
If you can’t rely on your partner when something bad happens to you or you’re feeling off, then it’s time to question your relationship.
If you’re the only one going out of your way to make things work, then you should definitely question your relationship.
Recuerda que para bailar un tango hacen falta dos.
If your partner is not willing to invest in your relationship and fight for it, then there’s nothing you can do on your own.
Sólo el respeto mutuo, el aprecio y el esfuerzo son capaces de resistir incluso en las peores condiciones.
Sólo el amor verdadero es capaz de vivir para siempre sin perder su encanto inicial. Y el amor verdadero exige sacrificio.
Véase también: 8 reglas que debes seguir si quieres mantener una relación duradera
