When you first start dating someone, it’s like you entered a whole new magical world that is full of fun and excitement because everything you do, you’re doing it for the first time together!
Texting your new boyfriend or girlfriend brings you so much joy that you simply have to re-read everything they send you (usually right before falling asleep), you daydream about the moment and their facial expression when you finally tell them those three words: I love you.
Every time you open up to each other about any totally random, little thing, it feels like you’re instantly getting closer and closer and your level of trust significantly deepens.
You laugh at all the funny things that happened last week or on your first date, and you jump into new adventures every couple days.
You feel free, rejuvenated, and loved. You feel like anything is possible when you’re together because the world, all of a sudden, doesn’t have limits.
You seek dating advice and relationship advice from everywhere and everyone because you’re so anxious that you’ll fuck things up – and that’s why you landed up here reading this.
No matter which stage of the relationship you’re at right now, use THIS GUIDE to avoid making any mistakes.
You were looking for the things that characterize the first three months of a relationship so that you can know where you stand. And you’ve done the right thing!
You see, when you enter a new relationship, you basically enter the honeymoon phase, which lasts for 90 days – in other words, 3 months of dating.
And this phase is critical. It’s at this time when you usually decide whether or not you’re ready for a long-term relationship – whether you’re ready to either take it to the next level or break up.
Many people start doubting their relationship at the three-month mark, so we could say it’s totally normal for you to feel this way also.
After all, how are you supposed to know for sure that what you have now will develop into a healthy relationship or something totally opposite?
No worries – that’s why I’m here today. The first part consists of a list of changes that are bound to (and should) happen in every 3-month relationship.
The second part covers changes that could be potential red flags you should pay special attention to!
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3-MONTH RELATIONSHIP: 12 CHANGES THAT ARE BOUND TO HAPPEN
The honeymoon phase will begin to fade
As already said above, the honeymoon phase feels like entering a new magical world filled with plenty of fun and excitement, and it lasts for approximately three months.
This phase is so addictive that most of us want to stay there forever only to continue feeling that bliss.
But, unfortunately, this is not really possible because at some point (usually after three months), the honeymoon phase will begin to fade. But, don’t be mistaken.
This doesn’t mean that your feelings will begin to fade or anything like that.
It means that all that bliss and magic that you’ve felt from the beginning will start turning into something more serious.
When you enter a relationship, it feels like you’ve just been born and everything around you is new, therefore, exciting.
But, when some time passes, you get used to all those things and the magic gradually falls away.
The exact same thing happens to relationships as well, and this is perfectly normal because it means that you’re evolving!
You’ll stop playing dating games and be more relaxed around each other
When you just start dating, you’re overly concerned about basically everything.
You worry that you’re texting them too much, you’re afraid that you’re giving them too many likes on social media, you’re scared that they’ll think you’re playing hard to get, you don’t want to seem needy or pushy, you wait for a specific sequence of things to take place before you decide to take some action.
All of these can be classified as sweet, dating games that every couple goes through. It shows that you like each other a lot and that’s why you’re so anxious about not ruining anything.
But, after three months have passed, you’ll be more relaxed around each other and you won’t think about all those things that much.
You won’t worry about what they will think of you if you send them that specific text message at a specific time, or whatever the case may be. You’ll be stress-free and casual!
You’ll start feeling like you’re ready to say: I love you
Every relationship progresses at its own pace and there isn’t a guide that can tell you when the right time is to say those three words.
For that, you have to follow your heart and listen to your feelings. Usually, people start feeling like they’re ready to say I love you after three months or more.
After so much time spent together and all the fun you’ve had, you will start feeling those warm sensations telling you that you should profess your love because you’re perfectly ready.
You will often fantasize about saying it and even though you’ll feel like you’re ready, it’s understandable that you may have certain levels of anxiety about saying it, which is totally normal because it’s not something you say every day to someone!
You’ll start using the words “us” and “we”
When you just start dating, it’s you and them. You’re still two separate individuals in the process of uniting.
But, gradually, this changes as well and you start using the words “us” and “we” instead of “you” and “I.”
You start making both big and small future plans like going to a concert, visiting that one special place you’ve talked about, trying certain food, watching an addictive series that’s about to get released…
You start thinking for the both of you and not only about your own wishes and desires.
Your likes and dislikes become theirs or they turn into a compromise.
You make sure to plan things in advance because you want to keep spending every second with each other. You take care about each other’s happiness.
And that’s what the right relationship is all about.
See also: 7 Differences Between A Toxic And A Healthy Relationship
You will be totally okay with seeing each other in casual editions
At the start of every new relationship, you spend 90% of your time thinking about how you can impress your special person.
You choose perfect outfits, you never leave your house without shaving beforehand or doing your makeup (if you’re a girl), you take special care of your hairstyle, and so on.
You do all of this because you want everything to be perfect. You like them so much that you just can’t leave anything to chance.
But, after some time, all of this will begin to change, meaning you will be totally okay with seeing each other in casual editions.
You will be completely fine with seeing each other unshaved, with no makeup, in pajamas, and on bad hair days.
But, this doesn’t mean that you should get lazy or that you will get lazy.
You will still want to show off your best self, but in a more casual way, which is priceless!
You’ll be more relaxed around each other’s friends
Meeting each other’s friends for the first time was probably a fun experience, but it came with lots of anxiety as well.
Given that you wanted to leave a good impression, you just couldn’t be 100% relaxed in front of them.
You were so worried about them liking you that you literally felt like you were on a job interview instead of a hangout.
And that’s another perk of starting a new relationship. But, around three months, this also changes.
You’re naturally more relaxed around each other’s friends. You’re more casual and there are less awkward situations or silent moments.
By this point, you already know lots of things about their friends and vice versa and spending time with them starts feeling like home.
You’ll be more open and start revealing each other’s secrets and embarrassing things
No matter how open you are by nature, you can never be too open on the first day and month, or two after that, because building trust and a worry-free environment where you feel confident and safe enough to open up about things takes time.
After you’ve been together for some time, you start being more open about things such as your past love life and your emotions.
You’re more open about literally everything – your secrets, all the embarrassing things that happened in your childhood, and the like.
You feel comfortable enough to even cry in front of each other when your emotions tell you to.
You share all of your fears, talk about things that made you the person you are today, and open up about your life-changing events and people who had the strongest impact on your development –your role models.
And you collect all of this data in your brain’s special compartment, nurture it, and later rewind all of it with a smile on your face.
You won’t feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7
When you’re still at the initial stages of getting to know each other, you spend lots of your time on the phone texting or calling each other.
Your phone becomes the main communication tool because you want to know everything about each other, and for that, you’d need to be together 24/7.
You know that’s quite impossible and that’s when your phone comes in handy.
That’s why you literally become attached to your phone every second of every day, impatiently waiting for them to reply to your text messages, return your missed call, and talk into the small hours until you fall asleep.
But this lasts for the first few months and after that, you won’t feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7 because you’ll rather choose to save some topics for when you’re seeing each other in person.
At this stage of relationship, eye-to-eye communication becomes your main tool for bonding and exchanging of ideas.
You’ll fight a little more often
Since every new relationship needs some time to progress and for two persons to start opening up, there will be little to no fighting at the very beginning.
Why? Because you’re still trying to get to know each other, you don’t know each other’s likes and dislikes, points of view, and true personality.
When you’re still in the process of getting to know each other, there is no space for fights or arguments.
You just absorb everything, connect the dots, and create each other’s profiles in your heads.
And then, only after some time, you may start to fight a little more often because you will feel more comfortable, relaxed, and not afraid to say what you really mean.
You’ll open up more and more to each other, and arguments will be just an inevitable part of that process.
Fighting a bit more often, compromising, and accepting each other’s differences are clear signs of every healthy relationship!
See also: 7 Arguments You Have That Signal The Beginning Of The End
You’ll start thinking about meeting each other’s family
Not everyone of us has the same opinion regarding introducing their family to the person they’ve started dating.
Some of us choose to do it earlier, and some save it for later. Again, everything depends on the individual and their intentions.
Usually, after a few months of dating, it comes naturally to the majority of us to start thinking about meeting each other’s family.
You want them to see who the beautiful-inside-and-out person you’re with is and share your joy with them.
You want to unite your families because they are a big part of your life and who you are today.
And you want to hear all those embarrassing childhood stories and juicy details that only parents have the courage to tell.
As a matter of fact, parents enjoy retelling every detail from their child’s first steps to when they did something ultimately stupid yet no one could blame them for it because they were just kids.
You’ll spend most of your Friday nights on the couch (without any regrets)
There’s nothing more exciting in the whole world than the first few dates when you just start dating.
You’re full of romantic ideas and you want to visit every place together, which means spending lots of time mostly outside and doing all the fun activities suited to new couples.
As the honeymoon stage progresses, the concept of your date nights will change as well.
This means that at one point you’ll start spending most of your Friday nights on the couch watching Netflix and enjoying your favorite foods, without any regrets about not visiting a new exciting place together.
Over time, you’ll become totally casual and enjoy every second of each night spent curled up next to each other while watching your favorite TV shows.
You’ll be honest about who you truly are
After some time spent together (after a few months), you’ll become honest to the core about who you are – about your dislikes and likes, dreams, perspective on different things – and you’ll also know each other’s flaws and quirks.
You won’t pretend that you’re okay with something just because you want to be polite.
You’ll express your concern or discontent in a polite manner when you need to and expect the same from your partner.
You’ll discuss things on a daily basis and learn to compromise when you can’t agree on something.
Being honest about who you truly are, accepting all of your quirks and flaws, and being willing to compromise are the basis of every healthy and successful relationship in the future.
3-MONTH RELATIONSHIP: 7 (POTENTIAL) RED FLAGS
Now that we know all the changes that are bound to happen in a relationship after a few months, it’s time to move to more serious matters.
It’s time to learn about all the (potential) red flags that could destroy every relationship (especially new ones because they can easily fizzle).
Lack of cute, spontaneous texts
While it’s true that after three months, you will no longer feel the need to be attached to your phone 24/7, this doesn’t mean that you should stop sending those cute, spontaneous texts that mean so much and can brighten your day.
These texts are an important part of every relationship because they help to keep the spark alive!
And if you notice that, as time progresses, you’re less likely to send each other those cute texts or retell something funny that happened to you at work, you know that you’re subconsciously killing your relationship or preventing it from turning into something more serious.
No longer surprising each other with little things
Every dating or relationship coach will tell you the exact same thing: It’s all in the little things. And, indeed, it is.
Maintaining a relationship means making an effort to still surprise each other with all those little things that mean so much.
And if you, at some point, stop doing it, your relationship will gradually start losing its initial charm and become loveless.
No longer planning fun things to do together
Just like cute spontaneous texts and surprising each other, planning fun things is another important aspect of a healthy, long-term relationship.
It’s something that keeps your passion alive and should be an essential part of your everyday lives.
While watching Netflix and chilling on a Friday night is something you should definitely do, still this shouldn’t be the only thing that you do when you’re together.
It’s important to bring some variety into your relationship – variety means excitement.
Not being able to be your genuine selves around each other
This is probably one of the biggest red flags that your 3-month relationship will not last for much longer.
If you’re still not feel at ease telling each other secrets, opening up, and being who you really are in front of each other, then you know there’s something just not right – something unsaid that will keep creating a huge gap between the two of you.
And if you’re not comfortable enough to be with each other, even after you’ve spent lots of time together, then you know you shouldn’t take this fact for granted.
Not making future plans
Another potential red flag that could surface in a 3-month relationship is the lack of conversation about future plans.
Those partners who talk about their hopes, dreams, and future plans together are basically telling each other that they want to stay in each other’s lives and make sure to include their partner in their every future activity and life-changing event.
If your relationship lacks this aspect, then you should seriously ask yourself whether you are on the right path or should switch lanes.
See also: If You Can’t Talk To Him About These 5 Things, Your Relationship Has No Future
Not making your relationship a priority
There’s a huge difference between making your relationship the ONLY priority and making your relationship a priority.
You should never make your relationship your only priority – it’s unhealthy for the both of you – but you should definitely treat it as a major priority.
This includes constant effort, surprising each other, not making excuses for why you haven’t showed up on a date, and the like.
It involves trust, mutual respect, appreciation, and fighting for what you have.
If there’s none of this, then you know your relationship won’t last.
Not being able to rely on each other
Relationships are not only about fun dates and Netflix and chill. They are also about supporting each other and being able to rely on each other.
If you can’t trust your partner to the extent of sharing everything with them, then it’s time to question your relationship.
If you can’t rely on your partner when something bad happens to you or you’re feeling off, then it’s time to question your relationship.
If you’re the only one going out of your way to make things work, then you should definitely question your relationship.
Remember that it takes two to tango!
If your partner is not willing to invest in your relationship and fight for it, then there’s nothing you can do on your own.
Only mutual respect, appreciation, and effort are able to withstand even the worst of conditions.
Only real love is able to live forever without losing its initial charm! And real love demands sacrifice.
See also: 8 Rules You Absolutely Have To Follow If You Want To Stay In A Long-Term Relationship