Como perdoar alguém que o magoa continuamente (Plano de 15 passos)

Como é que se perdoa a alguém que nos magoa continuamente? Será que isso é possível? Terá consequências negativas para a sua saúde mental? As respostas a estas e muitas outras perguntas podem ser encontradas no texto abaixo.

I know how it feels when you honestly love someone who keeps hurting you and doesn’t even show any signs of regret. You can’t let go of themmas simplesmente sente que não há lugar no seu coração para o perdão (ou desgosto).

Há três cenários possíveis que podem ocorrer neste tipo de situação. O primeiro é quando uma pessoa começa a viver na esperança de que o seu ente querido mude e que a sua relação melhore.

Mas, infelizmente, isso quase nunca acontece. Eles keep forgiving someone who isn’t changing e quem continua a magoá-los.

By the time they realize it, they become emotionally drained and lost. They feel like they’re stuck in one place feeling powerless to do anything about it.

Another way people react in these kinds of situations is by holding on to unforgiveness. They make a promise to themselves that they’ll never forgive anyone again without being aware of how deeply unhealthy that is.

A falta de perdão é um veneno. It imprisons you and doesn’t allow you to be happy and enjoy your life. You simply become its slave, and it slowly starts ruining your life.

The third scenario, and the only right one, is when a person decides to forgive, but only for their own peace of mind. It really doesn’t have much to do with the other person.

Algumas pessoas decidem simplesmente perdoar os outros que lhes fizeram mal porque sabem que libertar-se dessas emoções negativas é bom para o seu próprio bem-estar.

O ato de perdoar é verdadeiramente poderoso porque tem a capacidade de nos trazer essa liberdade interior.

Como perdoar alguém que continua a magoá-lo: 15 chaves para o perdão

Como é que se perdoa alguém que nos está sempre a magoar? É realmente necessário perdoar-lhes para poder seguir em frente? Será que vale a pena? Perdoar significa esquecer? Descubra as respostas a estas perguntas no guia abaixo.

Encontrar algum tipo de ritual calmante

Every time that person hurts you, find a way to calm down. Don’t react while you’re angry because that will most assuredly make you do or say something you’ll regret later.

Establish some kind of calming routine that will help you cope with that situation in the best possible way. Take deep breaths, meditate, enjoy some quiet time, pray to God, put your emotions on paper…

Faça tudo o que pensa que o pode ajudar a acalmar-se.

Reconectar consigo próprio

Esquecer a outra pessoa durante algum tempo e voltar a concentrar-se em si próprio. You need to take care and improve your self-relationship. If you lose it, then that’s definitely something you won’t ever forgive yourself for.

Slow down and just try to hear what your body, your mind, and your soul are telling you. Pay close attention to that quiet, inner voice because that’s definitely the voice of reason.

Concentrar-se nos cuidados pessoais

Make time for yourself. Start taking better care of yourself. Don’t let this dark time make you neglect the relationship you have with yourself.

Centrar-se em o seu autocuidado will help you relax, and it’ll definitely boost your mental health. You’ll also see how it’ll positively affect all areas of your life.

Abrandar a mente

You’re coping with two processes right now; the process of forgiveness and the healing process. You’re feeling very drained and that’s completely normal. These kinds of things are never easy to cope and deal with.

Tem muito em que pensar. Pensa constantemente nas suas feridas do passado e pergunta-se se deve continuar a perdoar essa pessoa que continua a magoá-lo.

If you want to preserve your mental health, you need to clear your head. Stop thinking about it all the time and stop rethinking the decisions you’ve already made.

Stop thinking about the past because you can’t do anything about it. Pay attention to the present and work on fixing those things that you think you were doing wrong in the past.

Nunca guardes os teus sentimentos para ti

Manter as emoções reprimidas is the worst thing you can do in this situation. The fact is that sooner or later, those emotions will come to the surface and it’ll make things even worse for you.

Deve abrir-se e falar sobre as suas emoções com a pessoa de quem gosta. Estes problemas podem ser resolvidos através de uma comunicação honesta e razoável.

Not only will it help you deal with this situation, but it can also help you feel better. Even if you fail to make that person understand how much they’re hurting your feelings, you’ll feel instant relief because you’ll know that you tried.

Abraça todas as tuas emoções, mesmo as mais sombrias

It’s perfectly normal to cry and feel sad when your loved one hurts you. It’s also normal when a family member or, let’s say, your mother-in-law offends you. It’s absolutely okay to feel disappointed when your friend betrays you.

We all experience some negative emotions in life and all of them are eager to be heard. That’s why we can’t and we definitely shouldn’t refuse to listen to them because they’ll backlash even harder.

Tem de encontrar uma forma de controlar e lidar com os seus sentimentos de uma forma saudável. Lembre-se, o seu crescimento pessoal reside no facto de aceitar as emoções negativas.

Assumir a responsabilidade pelos seus sentimentos sem apontar o dedo a mais ninguém. Escolha tornar-se o herói e não a vítima desta história.

Sometimes, it’s better to be kind than to be right

You don’t deserve to be hurt continually by the person you love so much, I know. If they swear they love you, then they shouldn’t behave in such a way,

I completely agree with that. I know that most people would pursue revenge, but you don’t have to be like most people.

Learn to control your emotions and thoughts. Don’t allow them to control you and make you react in a way you would never normally do. Self-control is a virtue we all should have in order to live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Nunca ir para a cama zangado

Don’t ever go to sleep with those negative emotions. Even if you feel that you can’t forgive that person right away, pray to God before you go to bed and ask Him to forgive them.

A Bíblia diz; “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”

The anger you feel is definitely destructive to your relationship with others, but it’s far more destructive to the relationship you have with yourself.

Comunicar, comunicar, comunicar

How do you forgive someone who hurt you? Open up to the person who keeps doing things that are hurting you. Be honest and direct with them, and tell them how much you’re bothered by the way they treat you.

Don’t continue to be quiet about it and keep everything to yourself. It’ll only lead you to more resentment, which will deeply harm your mental health in the end.

The other person’s emotional numbness has probably endangered the emotional connection between you. The only way you can improve it or rebuild that emotional bond is through honest and healthy communication.

Don’t live in the past

Live in the present moment and don’t ever look at the past. You can’t do much about something that was already said or done.

Free yourself from those shackles of your past. You can’t keep looking back. Look forward and focus on your future, and don’t allow anyone to continue hurting you in the future.

Don’t play the blame game

I know that person who is repeatedly hurting you is the one who should be blamed, but playing the blame game won’t do you any good.

Deve antes concentrar-se em encontrar soluções para resolver a sua relação com essa pessoa. Tente ser mais empático e menos crítico.

Culpabilização constante do turno is never constructive. Train your mind to see something positive in every situation. For example, you can always learn a good lesson from these kinds of situations, and that’s something you should be focused on.

Understand that you can’t control others

Todos nós somos humanos e começamos com a liberdade de escolha. Todos temos o livre arbítrio para nos comportarmos como queremos e fazermos as coisas que queremos fazer.

We can’t control other people and we shouldn’t even try to do it. When someone keeps hurting you, don’t try to change it by trying to control them. This can only backfire on you.

If a person continually hurts you, you just have to understand that they don’t love you the way you think. When someone loves you, I mean truly loves you, that person would never do anything that could hurt you on purpose.

Procurar ajuda de outros

If all of this has become a little bit too much for you, you should seek help from a family member or another person you trust. Seek those people who love you and care for your well-being. They’ll always try to give you the right advice.

Even if you don’t need advice from anyone, it’s so much easier when we have someone to share our sorrows with. You can’t keep everything to yourself because that will deeply harm your emotional health.

Confide in someone. Find a shoulder to cry on. Reconnect with the Holy Spirit and ask Him to enlighten you about what you should do. These things will take the weight off your shoulders, and you’ll see how you’ll feel instant relief.

Reconectar com Deus

You’re going through a hard time, and He’s the only one who can help you fight it. Get closer to God again and you’ll see how much your life will improve.

Encontrar respostas na oração. Confie em Deus todas as suas tristezas e preocupações. Dê-Lhe o controlo da sua vida e as coisas vão melhorar muito.

A incrível arte de deixar ir

Como é que se perdoa alguém que nos magoa continuamente? Simplesmente saia dessa relação, deixe de lado os rancores, deixe de lado o passado e, por último, deixe de lado essa pessoa.

Por muito que ame essa pessoa, nunca deve permitir que ela o maltrate, desrespeite ou magoe repetidamente. Se permitir que ela o faça, a única pessoa que deve ser culpada por isso é o próprio.

By forgiving someone who keeps hurting you and by repeatedly welcoming them in your life, you’re only giving them more chances to hurt you.

If you want to live a happier life, start letting go of grudges, negative feelings, and negative people who don’t deserve you.

Deve perdoar alguém que o continua a magoar?

After going through this guide on how to forgive someone who continually hurts you, you can see that it’s not that hard to honestly forgive a person who keeps hurting you.

No entanto, a melhor pergunta é: Deve perdoar-lhes? Vale mesmo a pena?

We’re all human beings, and that makes us all weak a little bit. Not one of us is perfect, and I’m completely sure that there’s no person who has never made a mistake.

My granny would always say that only God is sinless and that’s an absolute truth.

Because we all make mistakes, we should also be able to forgive others. That very special lady, my grandma, would also always say that when God can forgive us all so many times, why can’t we do the same.

Não importa quantas vezes pecamos, se nos arrependermos honestamente e pedirmos a Deus que nos perdoe, Ele perdoará. Ele perdoará qualquer pessoa que acredite verdadeiramente n'Ele e que se arrependa sinceramente dos seus erros.

Deus quis fazer-nos compreender que devemos perdoar aos outros para vivermos uma vida mais saudável e mais preenchida, porque a Bíblia diz, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Unfortunately, most of us aren’t even aware of the true power of forgiveness. Pode realmente purificar as nossas almas e curar os nossos corações. Tem o poder de nos tornar melhores seres humanos e de tornar as nossas vidas muito mais saudáveis e felizes.

Muitos estudos provaram que as pessoas que perdoam têm uma vida mais saudável e mais preenchida do que aquelas que guardam rancores e ressentimentos no fundo dos seus corações.

However, I know that it’s very hard to forgive someone who has repeatedly hurt you, even if that’s a person you honestly love. In that case, you really must reconsider first whether that person even deserves to be a part of your life.

You should forgive them, but only for your own peace of mind. However, the truth is that when someone keeps hurting you, that person doesn’t care at all for your feelings.

It’s proof they don’t respect you, and we all know that there’s no love where there’s no respect.

You can’t spend your whole life forgiving someone who doesn’t even deserve you and trying to make yourself believe that person is going to change and that things will get better eventually.

In Ephesians 4:32 ESV, the Bible says, “Pay attention to yourselves!

If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

O pior é que quando uma pessoa continua a magoar-nos e nós continuamos a perdoá-la, ela deixa de pedir desculpa passado algum tempo e espera apenas ser perdoada. A vossa relação torna-se tóxica e a vossa saúde mental fica arruinada.

There should be some healthy boundaries and limitations in everything. The first time someone does you wrong and doesn’t show any sign of regret for their act, you need to reconsider their place in your life.

Once again, I’m not saying that you should hold onto unforgiveness because that’s deeply unhealthy and it’ll definitely harm your mental health. You’ll never be able to.

Forgive others as many times as needed, but do it only for your own well-being. However, don’t welcome those people in your life every time you forgive them. As I always say, forgive, but don’t ever forget.

Don’t come to the point of your life where you aren’t able to forgive yourself for allowing others to mistreat you. Don’t allow them to make you an accomplice in breaking your own heart over and over again.

Nunca permita que essas emoções negativas envenenem a sua alma e o seu coração sincero. Acredite, guardar ressentimentos e amarguras só pode pôr em risco a sua saúde mental e o seu bem-estar.

Remember that when it comes to forgiving others, it’s never about them, it’s actually about you and your own well-being.

A única forma de sentir essa paz interior é libertar-se de todas as emoções obscuras e encontrar um lugar no seu coração para perdoar os outros, mesmo aqueles que o continuam a magoar.

Conclusão

Espero que este pequeno guia sobre como perdoar alguém que o magoa continuamente tenha sido útil para si. Espero que as minhas palavras o tenham feito encontrar um lugar no seu coração para perdoar os outros.

Um famoso psicólogo, Robert Enright, Ph.D., diz “Our science shows that as people make the decision to forgive and follow a valid process of forgiving, then the one who forgives experiences considerable psychological relief, such as reduced anger, anxiety, and depression, and an increase in self-esteem.”

Muitos outros estudos demonstraram que as pessoas que são capazes de perdoar os outros têm vidas mais preenchidas do que aquelas que se agarram à falta de perdão.

Para acalmar a sua alma e aliviar a sua mente, precisa de perdoar os outros e deixar de lado os rancores.

Always remember, you shall forgive others for your own peace of mind. It’s definitely an act you do for yourself, not for others. Be forgiving and merciful, but don’t ever allow someone to make a fool out of you.