Come perdonare chi vi fa continuamente del male (piano in 15 passi)
Come si fa a perdonare qualcuno che ci fa continuamente del male? È possibile? Avrà conseguenze negative sulla vostra salute mentale? Le risposte a queste e a molte altre domande si trovano nel testo che segue.
I know how it feels when you honestly love someone who keeps hurting you and doesn’t even show any signs of regret. You can’t let go of themma semplicemente sentite che nel vostro cuore non c'è posto per il perdono (o crepacuore) più.
Ci sono tre possibili scenari che possono verificarsi in questo tipo di situazione. Il primo è quando una persona inizia a vivere nella speranza che la persona amata cambi e che il loro rapporto migliori.
Ma, purtroppo, questo non accade quasi mai. Essi keep forgiving someone who isn’t changing e chi continua a far loro del male.
By the time they realize it, they become emotionally drained and lost. They feel like they’re stuck in one place feeling powerless to do anything about it.
Another way people react in these kinds of situations is by holding on to unforgiveness. They make a promise to themselves that they’ll never forgive anyone again without being aware of how deeply unhealthy that is.
Il non perdono è un veleno. It imprisons you and doesn’t allow you to be happy and enjoy your life. You simply become its slave, and it slowly starts ruining your life.
The third scenario, and the only right one, is when a person decides to forgive, but only for their own peace of mind. It really doesn’t have much to do with the other person.
Alcune persone decidono semplicemente di perdonare chi ha fatto loro del male perché sanno che lasciare andare quelle emozioni negative è utile per il proprio benessere.
L'atto di perdonare è davvero potente perché ha la capacità di portare alla libertà interiore.
Come perdonare chi continua a farvi del male: 15 chiavi per il perdono
Come si fa a perdonare qualcuno che continua a ferirci? È davvero necessario perdonarli per andare avanti? Ne vale la pena? Perdonare significa dimenticare? Scoprite le risposte a queste domande nella guida qui sotto.
Trovare una sorta di rituale calmante
Every time that person hurts you, find a way to calm down. Don’t react while you’re angry because that will most assuredly make you do or say something you’ll regret later.
Establish some kind of calming routine that will help you cope with that situation in the best possible way. Take deep breaths, meditate, enjoy some quiet time, pray to God, put your emotions on paper…
Fate tutto ciò che pensate possa aiutarvi a calmarvi.
Riconnettersi con se stessi
Dimenticatevi dell'altra persona per un po' e spostare l'attenzione su di sé. You need to take care and improve your self-relationship. If you lose it, then that’s definitely something you won’t ever forgive yourself for.
Slow down and just try to hear what your body, your mind, and your soul are telling you. Pay close attention to that quiet, inner voice because that’s definitely the voice of reason.
Concentrarsi sulla cura di sé
Make time for yourself. Start taking better care of yourself. Don’t let this dark time make you neglect the relationship you have with yourself.
Concentrarsi su la cura di sé will help you relax, and it’ll definitely boost your mental health. You’ll also see how it’ll positively affect all areas of your life.
Rallentare la mente
You’re coping with two processes right now; the process of forgiveness and the healing process. You’re feeling very drained and that’s completely normal. These kinds of things are never easy to cope and deal with.
Avete tante cose per la testa. Pensate continuamente alle ferite del passato e vi chiedete se dovete continuare a perdonare quella persona che continua a farvi del male.
If you want to preserve your mental health, you need to clear your head. Stop thinking about it all the time and stop rethinking the decisions you’ve already made.
Stop thinking about the past because you can’t do anything about it. Pay attention to the present and work on fixing those things that you think you were doing wrong in the past.
Non tenete mai i vostri sentimenti imbottigliati
Tenere a bada le emozioni is the worst thing you can do in this situation. The fact is that sooner or later, those emotions will come to the surface and it’ll make things even worse for you.
Dovreste aprirvi e parlare delle vostre emozioni con la persona amata. Questi problemi possono essere risolti attraverso una comunicazione onesta e ragionevole.
Not only will it help you deal with this situation, but it can also help you feel better. Even if you fail to make that person understand how much they’re hurting your feelings, you’ll feel instant relief because you’ll know that you tried.
Abbracciate tutte le vostre emozioni, anche quelle oscure.
It’s perfectly normal to cry and feel sad when your loved one hurts you. It’s also normal when a family member or, let’s say, your mother-in-law offends you. It’s absolutely okay to feel disappointed when your friend betrays you.
We all experience some negative emotions in life and all of them are eager to be heard. That’s why we can’t and we definitely shouldn’t refuse to listen to them because they’ll backlash even harder.
Dovete trovare un modo per controllare e gestire i propri sentimenti in modo sano. Ricordate che la vostra crescita personale sta nell'accogliere le emozioni negative.
Assumetevi la responsabilità dei vostri sentimenti senza puntare il dito contro nessun altro. Scegliete di diventare l'eroe, non la vittima di questa storia.
Sometimes, it’s better to be kind than to be right
You don’t deserve to be hurt continually by the person you love so much, I know. If they swear they love you, then they shouldn’t behave in such a way,
I completely agree with that. I know that most people would pursue revenge, but you don’t have to be like most people.
Learn to control your emotions and thoughts. Don’t allow them to control you and make you react in a way you would never normally do. Self-control is a virtue we all should have in order to live a happier, more fulfilling life.
Non andate mai a letto arrabbiati
Don’t ever go to sleep with those negative emotions. Even if you feel that you can’t forgive that person right away, pray to God before you go to bed and ask Him to forgive them.
La Bibbia dice; “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”
The anger you feel is definitely destructive to your relationship with others, but it’s far more destructive to the relationship you have with yourself.
Comunicare, comunicare, comunicare
How do you forgive someone who hurt you? Open up to the person who keeps doing things that are hurting you. Be honest and direct with them, and tell them how much you’re bothered by the way they treat you.
Don’t continue to be quiet about it and keep everything to yourself. It’ll only lead you to more resentment, which will deeply harm your mental health in the end.
The other person’s emotional numbness has probably endangered the emotional connection between you. The only way you can improve it or rebuild that emotional bond is through honest and healthy communication.
Don’t live in the past
Live in the present moment and don’t ever look at the past. You can’t do much about something that was already said or done.
Free yourself from those shackles of your past. You can’t keep looking back. Look forward and focus on your future, and don’t allow anyone to continue hurting you in the future.
Don’t play the blame game
I know that person who is repeatedly hurting you is the one who should be blamed, but playing the blame game won’t do you any good.
Dovreste piuttosto concentrarvi sulla ricerca di soluzioni per sistemare il vostro rapporto con quella persona. Cercate di essere più empatici e meno giudicanti.
Costante incolpazione del turno is never constructive. Train your mind to see something positive in every situation. For example, you can always learn a good lesson from these kinds of situations, and that’s something you should be focused on.
Understand that you can’t control others
Tutti noi siamo esseri umani, a partire dalla libertà di scelta. Tutti noi abbiamo il libero arbitrio di comportarci come vogliamo e di fare le cose che vogliamo.
We can’t control other people and we shouldn’t even try to do it. When someone keeps hurting you, don’t try to change it by trying to control them. This can only backfire on you.
If a person continually hurts you, you just have to understand that they don’t love you the way you think. When someone loves you, I mean truly loves you, that person would never do anything that could hurt you on purpose.
Cercare l'aiuto di altri
If all of this has become a little bit too much for you, you should seek help from a family member or another person you trust. Seek those people who love you and care for your well-being. They’ll always try to give you the right advice.
Even if you don’t need advice from anyone, it’s so much easier when we have someone to share our sorrows with. You can’t keep everything to yourself because that will deeply harm your emotional health.
Confide in someone. Find a shoulder to cry on. Reconnect with the Holy Spirit and ask Him to enlighten you about what you should do. These things will take the weight off your shoulders, and you’ll see how you’ll feel instant relief.
Riconnettersi con Dio
You’re going through a hard time, and He’s the only one who can help you fight it. Get closer to God again and you’ll see how much your life will improve.
Trovare risposte nella preghiera. Confidate a Dio tutto il vostro dolore e le vostre preoccupazioni. Date a Lui il controllo della vostra vita e le cose andranno molto meglio.
L'incredibile arte di lasciarsi andare
Come si fa a perdonare qualcuno che ci fa continuamente del male? Semplicemente uscendo da quella relazione, lasciando andare il rancore, lasciando andare il passato e, infine, lasciando andare quella persona.
Non importa quanto amiate quella persona, non dovreste mai permetterle di maltrattarvi, mancarvi di rispetto o ferirvi ripetutamente. Se glielo permettete, l'unica persona da biasimare siete voi.
By forgiving someone who keeps hurting you and by repeatedly welcoming them in your life, you’re only giving them more chances to hurt you.
If you want to live a happier life, start letting go of grudges, negative feelings, and negative people who don’t deserve you.
Dovreste perdonare qualcuno che continua a ferirvi?
After going through this guide on how to forgive someone who continually hurts you, you can see that it’s not that hard to honestly forgive a person who keeps hurting you.
Tuttavia, una domanda migliore è: "Dovreste perdonarli? Ne vale davvero la pena?
We’re all human beings, and that makes us all weak a little bit. Not one of us is perfect, and I’m completely sure that there’s no person who has never made a mistake.
My granny would always say that only God is sinless and that’s an absolute truth.
Because we all make mistakes, we should also be able to forgive others. That very special lady, my grandma, would also always say that when God can forgive us all so many times, why can’t we do the same.
Non importa quante volte peccate, se vi pentite sinceramente e chiedete a Dio di perdonarvi, Egli lo farà. Egli perdonerà chiunque creda veramente in Lui e si penta sinceramente delle sue azioni sbagliate.
Dio ha voluto farci capire che dobbiamo perdonare gli altri per vivere una vita più sana e più soddisfacente, perché la Bibbia dice, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Unfortunately, most of us aren’t even aware of the true power of forgiveness. Può davvero purificare le nostre anime e guarire i nostri cuori. Ha il potere di renderci esseri umani migliori e di rendere la nostra vita molto più sana e felice.
Molti studi hanno dimostrato che le persone che perdonano vivono in modo più sano e soddisfacente rispetto a quelle che serbano rancore e risentimento nel profondo del cuore.
However, I know that it’s very hard to forgive someone who has repeatedly hurt you, even if that’s a person you honestly love. In that case, you really must reconsider first whether that person even deserves to be a part of your life.
You should forgive them, but only for your own peace of mind. However, the truth is that when someone keeps hurting you, that person doesn’t care at all for your feelings.
It’s proof they don’t respect you, and we all know that there’s no love where there’s no respect.
You can’t spend your whole life forgiving someone who doesn’t even deserve you and trying to make yourself believe that person is going to change and that things will get better eventually.
In Ephesians 4:32 ESV, the Bible says, “Pay attention to yourselves!
If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
La cosa peggiore è che quando una persona continua a ferirti e tu continui a perdonarla, dopo qualche tempo smette di scusarsi e si aspetta solo di essere perdonata. La vostra relazione diventa tossica e la vostra salute mentale si rovina.
There should be some healthy boundaries and limitations in everything. The first time someone does you wrong and doesn’t show any sign of regret for their act, you need to reconsider their place in your life.
Once again, I’m not saying that you should hold onto unforgiveness because that’s deeply unhealthy and it’ll definitely harm your mental health. You’ll never be able to.
Forgive others as many times as needed, but do it only for your own well-being. However, don’t welcome those people in your life every time you forgive them. As I always say, forgive, but don’t ever forget.
Don’t come to the point of your life where you aren’t able to forgive yourself for allowing others to mistreat you. Don’t allow them to make you an accomplice in breaking your own heart over and over again.
Non permettete mai che queste emozioni negative avvelenino la vostra anima e il vostro cuore sincero. Credetemi, trattenere il risentimento e l'amarezza non può che mettere in pericolo la vostra salute mentale e il vostro benessere.
Remember that when it comes to forgiving others, it’s never about them, it’s actually about you and your own well-being.
L'unico modo per sentire quella pace interiore è lasciare andare tutte le emozioni oscure e trovare un posto nel vostro cuore per perdonare gli altri, anche quelli che continuano a ferirvi.
Conclusione
Spero che questa piccola guida su come perdonare qualcuno che vi fa continuamente del male vi sia stata utile. Spero che le mie parole vi abbiano fatto trovare un posto nel vostro cuore per perdonare gli altri.
Un famoso psicologo, Robert Enright, Ph.D., afferma; “Our science shows that as people make the decision to forgive and follow a valid process of forgiving, then the one who forgives experiences considerable psychological relief, such as reduced anger, anxiety, and depression, and an increase in self-esteem.”
Molti altri studi hanno dimostrato che le persone che sono in grado di perdonare gli altri hanno una vita più soddisfacente di quelle che conservano il perdono.
Per placare la vostra anima e rasserenare la vostra mente, dovete perdonare gli altri e lasciare andare il rancore.
Always remember, you shall forgive others for your own peace of mind. It’s definitely an act you do for yourself, not for others. Be forgiving and merciful, but don’t ever allow someone to make a fool out of you.
