Como superar uma paixão: 10 dicas para finalmente deixá-la ir
You fantasize about them day and night, you can’t stop looking at their picture (especially that one you find the cutest), while at the same time asking yourself how you can get out of this infatuation phase. How does one get over a crush?
Apaixonar-se por alguém que, por alguma razão, está fora dos limites pode ser uma experiência stressante e, muitas vezes, resultar em mágoas.
Por isso, esquecer o objeto do seu afeto é a única coisa sensata a fazer (se quiser preservar a sua sanidade mental e mostrar alguma consideração pelo seu precioso tempo e nervos, certo?)
Now, I wish I could tell you that there’s some secret, magical formula that will teach you how to get over your crush in a day, but there isn’t.
From personal experience, I can tell you honestly that this is a process but it’s a WORTHWHILE one!
Tudo o que precisa de fazer é ler as seguintes dicas/passos e implementá-los na sua vida quotidiana. E se for persistente e paciente, antes que dê por isso, a sua paixoneta não correspondida será uma coisa do passado.
Ready? I’m sure as hell you are! So, let’s see:
Wondering How To Get Over A Crush? Here’s What To Do
1. Mime-se!
I put this one in first place and with an exclamation mark for a reason. The reason being I can’t emphasize enough how important it is in these moments to remind yourself that you deserve the best.
Instead of thinking about why you can’t be together, and constantly daydreaming about your crush and losing your head over too many ‘what ifs’, you should focus on pampering yourself!
Deve concentrar-se em fazer com que se sinta melhor, especial e apreciado!
Por isso, desfrutem de uma massagem, comprem um batom novo, tomem um longo banho de espuma (ah!), vão ao vosso restaurante favorito e peçam o menu completo, se quiserem (e se o vosso orçamento permitir).
Enjoy the best movies and TV shows on Netflix, buy that new pair of shoes you’ve been wanting (cuz I know you DO really want them)!
In one word, spoil yourself so much you forget that you even had a crush. If you’re still not convinced, just think about what your crush might be doing.
Do you really believe that they’re thinking of you and forgetting to enjoy their own life?
Nope. They almost certainly aren’t. So, mimar-se a si próprio seria a melhor vingança e não há dúvida de que deve aproveitar!
2. Permitir-se viver plenamente as emoções dolorosas
We often forget that allowing ourselves to fully experience painful emotions is a part of the grieving process. It’s important to understand that if we block our negative emotions and all the bad things in our life in general, over time they will become much stronger and more powerful.
So, what you need to do is allow yourself to FULLY experience all the painful emotions you’re going through at the moment. Do you feel rage? Acknowledge it.
Do you feel hurt? Then don’t pretend that you’re feeling fine.
Don’t run away from what you’re feeling right now because it might haunt you in the long run. The more you pretend that everything is okay, the more hurt you’ll feel.
Be honest with yourself and accept the fact that you’re only human – a human who is allowed to feel all the emotions they want: from blissful joy to utterly devastating sadness.
Because that’s what makes you who you are – a brave person with a big heart who is not afraid to express their feelings.
3. Deixar de seguir a sua paixão em TODAS as suas contas nas redes sociais
“Out of sight, out of mind.” I advise reading this powerful sentence over and over again until it starts to haunt you – even in your sleep (okay, I’m kidding about that one).
Então, o que significa exatamente a frase acima? Significa que todos os objectos ou pessoas da nossa vida estão também nos nossos pensamentos.
E quando ele ou eles estão fora de vista, também estão fora da nossa mente.
This principle can be implemented in any area of our life, so it’s a useful tip for when it comes to learning how to get over a crush.
All you need to do is unfollow or unfriend your crush on all of your social media accounts (Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat – all of them) because unfriending or unfollowing them will keep them out of your sight and, therefore, out of your mind!
Yup. It’s as simple as that. But, it’s important to understand that this is a process!
For example, if you are used to visiting their social media profiles approximately 100 times per day, you cannot expect that once you stop, you won’t have a single urge to start visiting their profile again. You will, but you should not do it.
O desejo de os perseguir nas redes sociais será forte durante alguns dias, mas se resistir à tentação, será salvo!
Ver também: Como parar de pensar em alguém: 15 passos para tirar essa pessoa da sua cabeça
4. Aumentar o seu amor-próprio
When we’re crushing on someone, we’re totally, almost irreversibly infatuated with them.
Pensamos neles a toda a hora, imaginamos todos os resultados possíveis (se decidirmos fazer alguma coisa) e esperamos que eles reparem em nós e sintam o mesmo por nós.
However, in the majority of cases, we realize that there’s no point in doing anything because, for some reason (that is only known to you), you know that you will never be with them and all this is just an impressive illusion.
Com tudo isto, começamos muitas vezes a negligenciar-nos a nós próprios. Começamos a sentir-nos indesejados ou não suficientemente bons (ou ambos).
Ao concentrarmo-nos apenas nessa paixão não correspondida, esquecemo-nos de nos concentrar em todas as coisas boas da nossa vida e de nós próprios que estão mesmo à frente do nosso nariz!
A única coisa capaz de quebrar este ciclo vicioso é amor-próprio.
Para aumentar o seu amor-próprio, lembre-se da família e dos amigos que tem, de todas as suas conquistas, da mulher bonita e forte que é, da inspiração que é para os outros.
Cuidados pessoais = autoestima!
Se te esforçares por te tornares no teu melhor, e se cuidares do teu bem-estar, vais encontrar um lado positivo em tudo isto. Conseguirás ultrapassar a tua paixoneta com o poder da tua mentalidade positiva!
5. Conversar com um familiar ou amigo(s) próximo(s)
Como já foi referido, impedir-se de sentir emoções dolorosas pode ser um tiro pela culatra, por isso, fale sobre o assunto com um familiar, o teu melhor amigo ou um amigo próximo é altamente recomendável!
Keeping all those unrequited feelings inside you is not good for your mental health because over time those feelings could pile up and cause an “obstruction” that can only be fixed with the help of professionals.
If your family lives far away from you and if your friends are not available, another option is talking it out with a co-worker (unless they’re your crush, of course). Without much thought, just tell them how you feel about all this and let your emotions guide you.
Don’t try to sanitize your words and don’t pretend like this is not a big deal, that you’re totally over it and that all you want is to let them know that. Be honest with them, and most importantly, be honest with yourself.
A verdade é o primeiro passo para a cura!
6. OU escrever os seus pensamentos e sentimentos
Not all of us are comfortable talking about their feelings with other people (especially when it comes to such delicate things like a crush), and if you’re one of them, don’t worry, because there is an alternative!
If you’re an introvert like me, you’ll probably value the other option, which is writing instead of talking.
So, take a sheet of paper and write down your thoughts and feelings, starting with why you like your crush, why you can’t be together, and how you feel about all that.
It’s advisable that you make this a routine (at least, for the time being), so you should seriously think about starting a ‘crush journal’ where you can write things regarding this one specific matter.
Another important part of writing / journaling is letting it go! The reason why you’re writing all those things is because you need to get rid of them.
Instead of talking, you’re putting your thoughts and feelings on a sheet of paper for the sole purpose of letting them go!
Se sentir que o simples facto de escrever os seus sentimentos não o está a ajudar, sugiro que esmague o papel ou o queime, pois está provado que este método proporciona uma sensação de alívio e de encerramento.
So, write everything down on paper and then let it go – let all your feelings go. Let them vanish into a thin air!
7. Expresse-se através de actividades que o façam feliz
If you’re wondering how to get over a crush, my answer to you is: Exprimir-se! Do things that make you happy! It’s as simple as that.
But, I understand. It’s simple in theory, but in practice it’s a totally different thing.
I understand that the only activity that’s on your mind right now is thinking about your crush (if that can even be categorized as an activity), but for your own sake, you need to open your eyes and start doing things instead of thinking about doing things.
I know that this is easier said than done, but trust me, after some time you’ll be grateful you did it. So, find a new hobby: dance, sing, draw, go for a walk, play games (if you’re a gamer girl), or try writing a short story or a poem.
Create, create, create…
You don’t even have to be good at these things. Just because you don’t have Adele’s voice, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t sing for your own amusement. Let me tell you something.
Para mim, é sempre muito reconfortante e útil desenhar arte abstrata. Desenho linhas, círculos, formas interessantes e estranhas e, enquanto o faço, desligo o meu cérebro e deixo que as minhas emoções conduzam a minha mão.
I can’t express how rejuvenating this is, so if you haven’t tried it, now is the right time to do so!
8. Pára de idealizar a tua paixão!
Again, I’ve put an exclamation mark for a reason. You see, there’s one thing about crushes that is extremely poisoning for our brain and that is the idealization part.
When we have a crush, we basically create a perfect picture of them in our brains and that picture is usually fake. Most of the time, we don’t even know much about our crush, but we assume things and we see things the way we want.
Idealizamos a nossa paixão. Ao fazer isso, impedimo-nos de ver a realidade, o que torna difícil para nós ultrapassá-los e finalmente seguir em frente.
To stop idealizing someone means starting to see things as they are – and that’s exactly what you need to do! So, ask yourself about what you saw in your crush in the first place, think about it for some time and ask yourself again whether it is really true.
Have you imagined your crush as the perfect man/woman for you because they have a set of skills and qualities others don’t have? Do you think that they are the only person in the world you could be happy with?
If yes, think again. First of all, no one is perfect in this world, so neither is your crush. Perfection doesn’t exist.
A tua paixão é apenas um ser humano que idealizaste e, por isso, esqueceste-te de prestar atenção aos seus defeitos.
They are not the source of your happiness and you shouldn’t see them or treat them as such. It’s time to be realistic and admit to yourself that you’re probably not meant to be and that the sooner you move on, the better.
9. Conhecer novas pessoas
Quando estava a ultrapassar a minha paixoneta, detestava mesmo esta. Conhecer pessoas novas. Seriously? What does that even mean? Is meeting new people really supposed to help me forget that one person I’m trying to forget? Hmm…
The main reason why I was confused about this one was because I didn’t really understand it at first.
Pensava que conhecer pessoas novas significava que tinha de voltar a namorar e à procura de uma nova paixoneta (sim) e depois a paixoneta seguinte, e assim por diante, até que todas as pessoas erradas se amontoaram na minha vida.
Luckily, this is not what it’s about (unless you’re ready and then it could be). Meeting new people doesn’t mean looking for a new crush, but simply hanging out with other, different, new people!
Talking to new people, doing fun things with new people (that doesn’t necessarily involve sex), talking about your life history and funny childhood moments while drinking your favorite alcoholic beverages…
O objetivo de conhecer novas pessoas não é substituir a sua paixão por outra, mas simplesmente socializar, trocar sorrisos e desfrutar dos momentos, porque quanto mais desfrutar, mais perto estará de ultrapassar o objeto do seu desejo!
Ver também: 5 coisas a ter em conta antes de recomeçar a namorar
10. Consultar um terapeuta ou conselheiro
Sugiro que experimente primeiro todos os métodos acima referidos e, depois de algum tempo, se achar que as coisas não estão a melhorar, deve tentar consultar um terapeuta ou conselheiro, porque este método alternativo pode ajudar!
If you’ve never visited a therapist or counselor, this might be the right thing to do! After all, there’s a first time for everything and this is not an exception.
Existem muitos psicólogos clínicos especializados em relações e tudo o que precisa de fazer é encontrar o mais adequado para si.
Depois de o ouvirem atentamente, dar-lhe-ão todos os passos necessários e ajudá-lo-ão a compreender melhor toda a situação.
They will give you valuable advice on how to get over a crush because they’re trained to, so there’s no need to be skeptical and to think that they won’t be able to help you.
They help lots of people like you and me, so I’m sure they’ll be able to do the same for you! All you need is to believe (which is sometimes the hardest part of all).
After you’ve done all this, there’s only one thing left to do:
Repete para ti próprio: Eu consigo fazer isto!
Para sermos bem sucedidos em alguma coisa, temos de acreditar que somos capazes de o fazer e que o faremos! Se pensar positivo, obterá resultados positivos.
“What you think, you create. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you become.”
A sua mente é a ferramenta mais poderosa à sua disposição, por isso use-a com sabedoria. Se pensar positivo, conseguirá ultrapassar a sua paixoneta!
Ver também: Quanto tempo dura uma paixão? E 10 maneiras de superar isso com sucesso
