Deixar de cometer os mesmos erros e esperar um resultado diferente

Há uma dura verdade quando se trata de dar segundas oportunidades: Na maioria dos casos, é completamente inútil e em vão. Sabe porquê?

Porque por mais que se tente, as coisas acabam por acabar da mesma forma que da primeira vez.

It happens with all relationships and it’s been happening to you since you can remember.

However, you’ve always been a believer. You had faith that your love can change the people you care for.

Acreditou nas suas falsas promessas e desculpas vazias. Pensou que, ao dar oportunidades às pessoas, as estava a inspirar para serem melhores.

No entanto, nenhuma das suas expectativas se concretizou. Foi o caso, nomeadamente, da sua ex.

If you’re real with yourself, you’ll admit that you’ve given this man more chances than you can count.

Sempre que ele estraga tudo, lá está ele à sua porta, a implorar por mais uma oportunidade.

He puts effort into convincing you that he’ll improve, start treating you differently, and finally become the man you deserve him to be.

Então, o que é que acontece? Apesar de no fundo saberes que é tudo mentira, de alguma forma consegues acreditar nele porque é isso que queres.

Subconscientemente, queres ouvi-lo mentir-te. Queres voltar a confiar nele.

Afinal, que outra desculpa terias para o aceitar de volta na tua vida?

At first, he acts like he’ll keep his promises. He pretends to be a changed man and you’re relieved by the fact that you haven’t made another mistake.

No entanto, passado algum tempo, volta aos seus velhos hábitos e começa a revelar as suas verdadeiras cores.

Vocês os dois acabam num círculo interminável de ele ser um idiota, tu acabares com ele, ele pedir desculpa e tu aceitá-lo de volta.

Sounds familiar, right? Well, if this is something you can relate to, it’s time to start worrying for your future.

Mais importante ainda, it’s time to make some crucial changes if you want to save yourself.

You see, every time you give this man another chance, you’re actually giving him an opportunity to keep on ruining your life.

You’re not giving him a shot to become better – you’re giving him permission to break your heart all over again.

Therefore, you can’t be mad at him for using it in his favor.

Yes, he’s a manipulative jerk, but you’re the one who is letting him be one.

You’re the one continuously giving him access to your life, even though you know very well it’s the worst mistake you can make. You’re the one allowing him to behave this way.

You’re sending him a message that this kind of treatment is acceptable. That you’re perfectly fine with him treating you like trash.

You’re signalling to him that there is nothing he could do to make you stop loving him.

That no matter how he behaves, you’ll be right there where he left you, the next time he tries coming back.

Yes, he is playing with you. But you’re the one who chooses to be his toy.  To be honest, I don’t know what you think that will happen.

After all, you’re making the same mistake over and over again and you’re expecting a different result.

Parar de esperar for a miracle. You won’t see it. Stop waiting for this man to start appreciating all of your sacrifices.

Pare de esperar que ele comece a ter em consideração as suas emoções. Acima de tudo, pare de esperar que ele mude.

You see, people rarely change. And even when they do, they do it for themselves – not for the sake of someone’s love.

Por isso, em vez de perder mais tempo precioso, tire os óculos cor-de-rosa e encare a verdade. Por mais que doa, olhe a realidade nos olhos e aceite-a finalmente.

Correndo o risco de parecer brutal, I’m here to tell you to pick up the pieces of your broken dignity and get the hell out. Walk away and never turn back. Do it before it’s too late!

Because if you don’t, ten years from now, you’ll catch yourself in the exact same situation, still trapped in this repetitive pattern with no sign of progress and no light at the end of the tunnel.