Devo enviar-lhe uma mensagem de texto? Saiba quando enviar uma mensagem de texto (e quando esperar)

So, you’re looking at your phone, scrolling through your feed (or checking out his profile for the thousandth time) while asking yourself this famous question: Devo enviar-lhe uma mensagem ou não?? 

Devo enviar-lhe um simples "Olá" e esperar que ele tome a iniciativa e me faça perguntas com significado?

What if he doesn’t do that? Should I text him one of those heartfelt texts where I’ll show him the ultimate affection (that is killing me as I’m overthinking all this)? Deve enviar uma mensagem de texto a um rapaz primeiro?

Depois de algum tempo a ponderar os prós e os contras, conclui o seguinte: Se calhar, devia esperar. Mas, e se ele nunca mais me enviar mensagens? E se ele se esquecer completamente de mim? 

Uma coisa é certa: It’s so damn hard to be a woman (or to be a human being) in these instant messaging and social media times.

Se lhe enviar uma mensagem dupla, pode literalmente dizer adeus ao seu (quase) romance. Se o deixar esperar demasiado tempo pela sua resposta, corre o risco de ele se zangar consigo ou de se esquecer de si e apagá-la da vida dele.

God forbid if you “Seen” them or if they “Seen” you.

We live in times when throwing a “Seen” is considered one of the greatest sins quando se trata de relações românticas e de comunicação em geral.

Há tantas regras, tantas oportunidades para cometer erros e tanta coisa para pensar. Mas há uma coisa que se sobrepõe a todas elas: aprender quando é a altura certa para enviar uma mensagem de texto e quando esperar.

Porque é que lhe queres enviar uma mensagem?

Knowing when you should text him and when you shouldn’t is connected with your motives.

You need to ask yourself why you want to text them in the first place, and there, you’ll find the answer to your question as to whether you should text him or not.

Do you want to text him because you’re feeling bored and/or lonely?

As mensagens de texto tornaram-se a cura mais popular para o tédio e uma ferramenta de distração para todos os tipos de estados de espírito.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to text someone when you’re feeling bored or lonely, but this depends on your relationship with them.

Is he your ex that you can’t stop thinking about, so you have an uncontrollable urge to text him?

If he’s your ex that you’re thinking about 24/7 (especially when you’re feeling bored), you shouldn’t enviar-lhe mensagens de texto durante um período de ausência de contacto que deve durar cerca de 90 dias após uma separação.

I know what you’re thinking: 90 DAYS, WHAT THE HELL? I’ll die before then.

Well, you might feel extremely tempted to text him, you might experience a couple of breakdowns or eat tons of ice cream while cursing your destiny, but you won’t die for sure. Why?

Because no one else died because of a No Contact period. Yes, it will be challenging to survive 90 days without texting him, but you’ll make it, and once you get there, you’ll be thankful to yourself for that.

Also, you’ll have a clearer perspective on things, which will help you decide whether it’s time to move on or reunite with him.

Ele ignorou a sua última mensagem e agora quer lembrá-lo de lhe enviar uma mensagem de volta?

Esta é realmente complicada e irritante (especialmente irritante).

There’s nothing more painful in the whole wide world than the feeling of expecting him to text you back when deep down in your soul, you know that he won’t.

Ainda assim, continua a esperar que um dia ele responda à sua mensagem, já há muito esquecida.
You’ll easily become tempted to remind him to text you back, and to do so, you have to double text him.

O envio duplo de mensagens de texto é outra zona perigosa que todos devem evitar entrar se puderem.

So, here’s my humble advice to you: Unless you’re REALLY and I mean really worried about their well-being, DON’T double text him. Porquê?

a) Porque ele já leu o seu texto.

b) Because, for some reason, he didn’t want to text you back.

c) Because you’re not desperate.

d) Because if you do, he’ll think of you as desperate.

So, unless you suspect that he was prevented from texting you back due to some medical issue or other serious thing, then you shouldn’t text him back.

Otherwise, he’ll continue taking you for granted by letting you wait for an eternity to text you back. Even worse, he’ll think that you’re okay with it and that you’ll always wait.

RELACIONADO: 14 coisas inteligentes para fazer quando ele não responde às mensagens durante dias

Queres enviar-lhe uma mensagem porque tens GENUINAMENTE saudades dele e (ainda) sentes algo por ele?

Se acabaram a relação e tem saudades dele e ainda sente algo por ele, mesmo depois do período sem contacto, então deve enviar-lhe uma mensagem.

Perhaps he’s feeling the same way, so if you don’t tell him how you’re feeling, you’ll never know whether you have a chance at reuniting with him.

Envie-lhe uma mensagem de texto e, se ele responder, parabéns. If he doesn’t text you back, then DON’T double text him. Again, you don’t want him to think of you as desperate or that you can’t live your best life without him.

You don’t need a man to be happy; trust me on that one. If you place your happiness in someone else’s hands, you’ll never be truly happy (I’ve learned that one the hard way).

If he’s guilty of doing these things, don’t even bother to text him back!

We women are really good at making excuses for our men. We’re so good at it that making excuses for them should be presented to the world as an art in itself or a course that other people can attend.

If you make an excuse once for your man, it’s not a big deal, but if you continue doing so, it’s time to change the game.

There are some things that you should never tolerate no matter if you’re dating him or if you’re in a relationship.

If he does these things, don’t even bother to text him back:

• Ele envia respostas sem esforço
• Ele esquece-se constantemente de te responder às mensagens
• He gets mad because you haven’t texted him back immediately (SERIOUSLY, GUYS?)

I think there’s nothing more annoying in the world than effortless replies (Yes, I’m aware of my overuse of the phrase ‘nothing more annoying in the world’).

But seriously, imagine that you send a guy a novel-length text and he sends you back a one-word reply or one mini sentence (and doesn’t even add some emojis).

For me, there’s nothing more disrespectful than that when it comes to texting.

É claro que esquecer ou ignorar deliberadamente as suas mensagens de texto também é desrespeitoso, mas o pouco esforço é simplesmente a única coisa a que tenho uma aversão total.

Here’s another piece of humble advice: If a guy is not capable of, or better said, UNWILLING to court you via texting, he’s not worthy of your attention and time.

If he’s not capable of sending a meaningful text or one that will make you laugh, then you shouldn’t bother texting him. It’s as simple as that.

By going out of your way to send funny, interesting, and engaging texts to someone who doesn’t know how to respond the right way or appreciate it, you’re disrespecting yourself.

Don’t let that happen. You deserve to be texted back. You deserve to receive a novel-length text back if you send one, so NEVER accept less than that.

Aqui estão mais alguns razões legítimas para não lhe enviar mensagens de volta NUNCA MAIS:

• He texts you only when he’s bored
• He hurt you before (and didn’t apologize for it)
• He’s a player

If he texts you only when he’s bored, but you have feelings for him, then DON’T text him back ever again.

Se espera que este cenário aconteça: When he gets bored of you, he’ll just switch to another girl and text her until he gets bored of her as well.

Do you want to give him the satisfaction of treating you like his doll? I don’t think so. Pára de lhe enviar mensagens e vê o que acontece (perhaps you’ll be surprised).

Also, if he hurt you before and didn’t apologize for it, you shouldn’t be the one to text first. The ball is in his court, and if he wants to make things right and apologize to you, he’s free to do so.

If he doesn’t want to apologize, then you sure as hell won’t be the one who will go out of her way to initiate conversation.

If he’s a player, you’ll be able to smell it from one kilometer away. If you know that he’s playing games with you, then don’t waste your time trying to outplay him.

A sua melhor aposta é ignorá-lo e continuar a viver a sua melhor vida.

Ouçam sempre a vossa intuição!

There are so many rules for when to text and when not to as well as when to double text and when not to, and that’s helpful because it’s good to have some kind of a guide for texting.

But, sometimes, even the most helpful guide can fail you because it’s really easy to overlook some things. That is why you should ALWAYS listen to your intuition because that’s your best judge!

Listen to that inner voice telling you when you shouldn’t text him because he’s a legit player or when you should text him because he might be feeling the same way about you.

If you listen closely to what your intuition tells you, then you’ll know what to do in any situation, not just in texting.