7 erros pós-separação que tornam as coisas ainda piores
Passar por uma separação nunca é fácil, mas lidar com ela de uma forma saudável pode tornar o período pós-separação menos terrível.
É certo que quase ninguém lida na perfeição com uma separação. A maioria das pessoas comete pelo menos um erro, o que as leva a sentir-se ainda pior em relação a toda a situação.
Veja estes 7 erros mais comuns após uma separação e tente não os cometer você mesmo.
1. Minimizar as emoções pós-separação
Toda a gente se sente mal depois de uma separação. Pode pensar que está a provar que é forte e estável ao minimizar as suas emoções, mas ninguém espera que o faça.
It’s perfectly normal to feel sad – even devastated. Accept your emotions, they are valid. Burying them will only cause some serious passive-aggressive behavior on your side.
2. Procurar o encerramento
Closure after a relationship can be perfectly healthy, but ending a relationship and then trying to immediately have the “closure talk” is just you wanting to spend more time with your ex.
Todos nós conhecemos a sensação. Acabámos uma relação e, de repente, apercebemo-nos de como sentimos a sua falta na vida quotidiana.
A part of you hopes that a long talk will help solve all of your problems and get back together, but that’s not what you need right now.
The time for closure talk will come – probably months or even years after the breakup – when you least expect it.
Don’t call them to have that talk. You’ll end up hurting yourself and possibly your ex even more.
3. Tentar ser imediatamente amigos
Maybe you two can eventually go back to being friendly after you’ve completely moved on from your breakup, but right after ending a relationship is not the time to try to be friends.
Your emotions are still raw and everything is still way too fresh. All the pain inside of you won’t go away just like that.
Let’s be honest. Your “friendly” relationship would be a disguise for getting to spend time with them and casually trying to make everything okay between you two.
It’s best if you have no contact with your ex for a while… If you’re meant to be friends, the time for that will come after you’ve resolved all of your emotions regarding your ex and the relationship.
4. Avançar demasiado cedo
A maioria das pessoas diz que a melhor maneira de ultrapassar uma relação é começar uma nova.
Looking for a rebound might make you feel like you’re getting over your ex very quickly, but in reality you’re just passing time until your huge breakdown.
Reserve algum tempo para refletir sobre tudo o que aconteceu entre si e o seu ex. Certifique-se de que reflecte sobre os erros que cometeu na relação, de modo a não voltar a repeti-los.
Getting back on the horse after a split is a good thing, but don’t try to do it too quickly, otherwise you’ll end up hurting yourself more once your rebound relationship fails to fill your expectations.
5. Perseguição nas redes sociais
Just yesterday you were posting a pic of you two sharing a bowl of spaghetti and today you’re sitting alone aggressively refreshing their profile, looking for something new and unexpected.
Parece que tem uma vontade compulsiva de verificar tudo o que sai nas suas contas das redes sociais, mas isso não só a torna obcecada pelo seu ex como também prolonga a sua dor.
Stop snooping around. Nothing good can come from it. Devote your time to something liberating and refreshing. Take a long bath, read a book, go out for a walk… Find a way to stop yourself from stalking your ex.
6. Planeamento da vingança
Se a sua relação com o seu ex-companheiro terminou em maus termos e ele o magoou intencionalmente, pode estar a pensar em encontrar uma forma de o magoar de volta.
You might think that humiliating them or making them feel as broken as you feel right now will make you feel better, but it probably won’t.
Take the high road. Deal with your emotions in a healthy way. Talk to your best friend or even seek professional help if you can’t seem to get over whatever happened.
7. Constantly thinking about what could’ve been
If it could’ve been, it would’ve been. Honestly, stop dwelling on the idea you have in your mind about how perfectly things might have turned out between you and your ex.
You obviously had issues you didn’t know how to solve.
Right after the breakup you’re going through a turmoil of emotions, which can sometimes make you forget how your relationship really looked like and see things in some new, idealized light.
Move on. The perfect scenario you have in your head is possible – just not with that exact person.
