Não Te Perdoo Por Me Fazeres Sentir Que Não Sou Suficientemente Bom

I just wanted someone who’ll love me the way I deserved to be loved.

I wanted a man who will see me for who I am and who’ll decide I’m worthy of his love. I wanted a man who will not project his issues on me and who’ll add value to my life.

I wanted someone who’ll know my worth.

I wanted a man who’ll see what I do in my life and who’ll support me. I wanted a man who’ll respect me and who’ll see me as a person that can add value to his life.

I wanted someone who won’t just see me for my flaws and mistakes.

I wanted someone who will see that my good sides always outnumber those bad ones. I wanted someone who won’t make me feel like I’m crazy, who will not play with my heart and my trust.

I wanted someone who’ll see me as a human and still decide to love me.

Queria que fôssemos uma equipa.

Queria que estivéssemos lá um para o outro. Queria que me apoiasses tanto quanto eu apoio a ti. Queria saber que podia contar contigo tanto quanto tu podias contar comigo.

Because I would’ve always come when you needed me. I would’ve been there for you for forever. But you decided to not be there for me.

Em vez de lutares por mim e me protegeres de todas as coisas más, foste o maior mal que me aconteceu.

Em vez de lutar por mim, lutou comigo. Lutaste contra mim e continuaste a bater-me.

I did not want this. I didn’t sign up for any of it.

Ao apaixonar-me por ti, deixei de gostar de mim.

Eu queria-te a ti e queria todas essas coisas para nós. Os meus desejos saíram-me horrivelmente pela culatra. Queimei-me com esses desejos porque, de todas as coisas que queria, tu eras aquela que nunca deveria ter desejado.

But I couldn’t’ve known things would end up like this.

Under your constant ‘bringing downs’, I forgot who I was.

I forgot all my values and I forgot I was once worthy. I started believing I was nothing and I settled down. I thought you knew me best and if you said I was nothing, I must’ve been nothing.

There isn’t a thing in this world you haven’t used to bring me down. You were never choosy when it came to tools you’d use to make me feel bad about myself. The more it hurt me, the better it was, right?

You kept doing mean things to me and you kept making me feel like I’m crazy for even thinking you’d do bad things to me.

You were just trying to help me, wasn’t that what you always said? Well, as if! You weren’t helping me, you were tearing me apart until I finally fell out of love with myself. Until I finally saw myself with your eyes. Until you convinced me I wasn’t worthy of being loved.

Nenhuma rapariga deve sentir-se indigna de ser amada. She should never feel like she isn’t good enough.

You didn’t only see me as someone who isn’t good enough, fez-me sentir que não sou suficientemente bom. Este sentimento ficou gravado nos meus ossos durante muito tempo.

You made me feel like I’m not good enough and I let you. I wanted to love you, but you weren’t capable of loving me.

Eu queria ser tua amiga, mas tu eras um daqueles tipos que só sabiam apunhalar os amigos pelas costas. E embora eu amasse, esse amor era errado. E tu eras um tipo errado. Não fazes ideia de como estavas errado.

I should’ve been able to lean on you, but in leaning on you, I crashed down and hit the ground so hard. You made me not want to wish anyone of anything anymore for as long as I am alive.

Arrependo-me de te ter tido na minha vida. Sim, foste uma lição and I’ll know better next time, if I ever decide to try and love again, but you were that one lesson in life I wished I could have skipped somehow. Unfortunately, now it’s too late to do anything about it.

Só queria que soubesses que, independentemente do tempo que passe, independentemente de eu ter alguém novo na minha vida, independentemente de te arrependeres ou não de me teres feito tudo isto, I don’t and I will never forgive you for making me feel like I’m not good enough.

Nunca te vou perdoar por me fazer odiar os meus desejos.

Nunca te perdoarei por não teres lutado por mim.

Nunca te perdoarei por não me amares ou por usares o meu amor.

Nunca te perdoarei por me teres feito duvidar de mim própria e esquecer os meus valores.

I don’t forgive you for bringing me down.

I don’t forgive you, and I will never be able to forgive you, for making me feel like I’m not good enough.

Nevertheless, I don’t want anyone to do to you what you did to me because I don’t think you’d be capable of enduring the pain you’ve put me through.

You would not survive the broken soul and broken heart. You’re not as strong as I am. And you will never be. This is my only consolation.