Tu és uma lição que eu gostaria de nunca ter aprendido

Estás a ouvir isto? É o som do meu coração a partir-se porque me traíste da pior maneira possível.

Deste-me a esperança de que me amarás, sem qualquer intenção de o fazer. Como é que me pudeste fazer isto? Como pudeste fazer uma coisa destas à mulher que te amava mais do que a ela própria?

I admit it—it was my biggest mistake but I can’t turn back time. I can just learn a lesson from the shitty behavior you showed me.

Fizeste tudo o que estava ao teu alcance para me afastares quando mostrei interesse em ti. Afastaste a rapariga que realmente queria ser tua.

You see, I didn’t want the moon and the stars. I just wanted you to love me like I loved you. I just wanted you to try as hard as I was trying. I just wanted you to fight for me, but you couldn’t even do that.

Tudo o que eu sempre quis foi o teu amor.

Até aceitei todos os teus defeitos e a tua bagagem do passado. Tentei compreender-te sempre que tinhas problemas e estava lá para te abraçar e dizer-te que tudo ia correr bem.

I don’t know if that helped you, but I gave my best to make you feel better. I gave it all for the man I loved but who couldn’t love me back. And that was all I wanted all the time.

Pegar na tua mão com orgulho e mostrar-te ao mundo em vez de te encontrar em segredo em quartos de hotel imundos. Mas eu aceitei tudo isso porque pensei que tu irias mudar.

Pensei que o meu amor te iria mudar. Pensei que verias quanto amor e carinho havia em cada toque, em cada beijo, em cada abraço. Mas, como sempre, não viste isso.

Nunca tive o tratamento que merecia e estava sempre a contentar-me com menos do que merecia porque te amava.

Só queria que me tratasse com respeito.

So tell me, did I ask too much from you? Was it too much to ask the man I loved to treat me like I deserved to be treated? You know that I never asked anything that you couldn’t give me.

I didn’t ask for diamonds and stars. I just asked for your love and some respect—respect that would make me stay. I just wanted to see you trying as hard as me. If you had tried a little bit harder, maybe we would have made it then.

Mas isso foi demais para ti!

You had some twisted idea of love in your head that didn’t make any sense. You wanted me to give you the girlfriend benefits while you didn’t give me boyfriend benefits at all.

I was good only when I was sleeping with you, but when I wanted to meet the people that are important to you, you didn’t have the guts to admit to them that we were dating.

Even if I deserved all the relationship benefits, you never gave any to me. You weren’t ready to do anything for me, even if I did even the impossible for you. You didn’t care about me at all. But you should have.

You didn’t want to accept me.

You always wanted to change me and to mold me into someone who was a ‘namorada perfeita’ according to your taste. With you, I experienced an almost love—the type when you don’t know if you are with someone or not.

You were keeping me close because that was convenient for you, but on the other hand, you didn’t want to commit fully because you were scared. And trust me, there was nothing to be scared about. But you missed seeing that.

Sentiste falta de ver uma mulher à tua frente com o coração na manga. Aquela que tremia cada vez que te via. Uma rapariga que era muito mais do que merecias.

You didn’t want to put me first.

For you, I was always a second option—a girl who will be there when everyone else abandons you. The one who doesn’t ask much but kisses and hugs you every time life slaps you.

Fui a rapariga que ficou contigo mesmo quando as coisas estavam tão más que qualquer outra pessoa teria provavelmente ido embora se estivesse no meu lugar. Mas eu fiquei ao teu lado. E tudo o que fiz, fi-lo por nós os dois.

Too bad that you never saw that. But maybe you didn’t want to see, right? Because it was much easier to close your eyes to the good things I did for you because you could convince me that you owed me nothing after all.

E sabes qual foi a pior parte? Pensaste mesmo que eu estaria sempre lá, a implorar-te por migalhas do teu amor, mas estavas tão enganado.

Cansei-me de ser o único a tentar.

Admit it—you were actually okay with losing me. You thought that there are other girls who are much better than me and will give you the love and affection I gave you.

You didn’t even want to fight for me when I wanted you to do that. You were indifferent the whole time. And that is exactly the opposite of love. When you are indifferent, you feel the same whether someone is there or not.

You don’t need that person like the air you breathe. But too bad that I needed you even more than the air I was breathing. I needed you more than I have ever needed anything in my life. And you not giving a damn about me was something that made my whole world fall apart.

The day when you didn’t choose me, you actually lost me. Perdeste-me para sempre and there wasn’t a way that you could bring me back.

Por muito que eu quisesse ficar, tu afastaste-me.

Afastaste-me sempre que tive de te implorar para me ouvires. Afastaste-me ao não te importares comigo quando eu mais precisava de ti.

Afastaste-me com a tua indiferença e falta de amor. Afastaste-me sem a intenção de lutar por mim e de me reconquistar.

So I am asking you: “Are you happy now?”

Perdeste mesmo uma rapariga que queria ser tua.

E eu só queria o vosso amor e carinho. Queria que olhasses para mim e pensasses que tens muita sorte em me ter. Queria que admirasses as coisas que eu faço e me dissesses que tinhas orgulho em mim.

I didn’t want those bad words from your mouth. I didn’t want gaslighting, lying and manipulation. But unfortunately, that was all I got from you. I never got the unconditional love I craved so much.

I never got all those magical moments that people in love have the chance to experience. You didn’t know to provide me with the only thing I needed from you—love!

After you realize that you won’t have a girl like me anymore, you will try to find me in every other woman but you won’t find me. No woman will treat you like I did, look at you with admiration and proudness and no one will ever put you first like I did.

Nenhum deles ficará contigo quando lhes mostrares a tua verdadeira cara. Isso é algo que só eu era capaz de fazer.

Mas o que interessa é que tenho de vos agradecer por esta lição.

If it weren’t for you, I would never have realized how strong I was. I would never have started cherishing myself enough to start a new chapter of my life with someone who is worthy of my love and everything that I can give.

So, if you ever see me again don’t look at me like I was shattered. I am just a breathtaking mosaic of the battles I’ve won!