O que fazer quando um rapaz só quer ser amigo depois do namoro

É realmente possível manter a amizade depois de uma separação? O que é que significa quando um rapaz só quer ser amigo depois de um namoro? Existem algumas regras para que essas amizades pós-namoro sejam bem sucedidas?

Fique comigo porque as respostas a todas estas perguntas estão à sua espera abaixo.

Honestly, I don’t know what is harder… to end a serious relationship with someone or to remain friends with that person after a breakup?

O facto lamentável é que, em ambos os casos, uma das partes sairá sempre prejudicada e sofrerá profundamente.

Remaining friends after a breakup isn’t an easy step to make, and that’s why both partners must really think it through before they make the final decision.

That’s why the best thing you can do is to give yourselves some time after the breakup. Both partners need to be sure they’re able to move on and that there are no romantic feelings between them anymore.

I know it’s hard to accept that he won’t be a part of your life anymore, but trust me, it’s better that way than to stay friends with him and live in hope that one day, he’ll change his mind and start a real relationship again with you.

O que significa quando um homem só quer ser amigo depois do namoro? Seis razões possíveis

Quando um rapaz só quer ser amigo depois do namoro, isso pode ser uma verdadeira ajuda para uma rapariga, especialmente se ela ainda tiver sentimentos fortes por ele.

She knows that she can’t see him as a friend, but at the same time, she doesn’t want to lose him entirely. A caminho da zona de amigos imediatamente após o fim da relação é uma péssima ideia.

Neither one of you is ready for that step, but you probably don’t want to lose each other for good because even though you don’t love each other the way you did before, you still care.

A verdade é que há muitas razões para um rapaz querer ser apenas amigo depois de um namoro.

It doesn’t have to mean that he really wants to be friends only; maybe it’s one of his techniques to get you back. Below, I will list a few more reasons why he just wants to be friends after dating.

Ele quer aliviar a culpa dele, não a tua dor

When a guy just wants to be friends after dating, it’s, unfortunately, only because they don’t want to be the bad guy, not because they care about your feelings.

He doesn’t want other people to judge him. He doesn’t want to be seen as a guy who used you and then dumped you.

Provavelmente, ele pediu-lhe para continuarem amigos apenas porque queria que a separação fosse o mais tranquila possível.

It’ll stop you from moving on, and he knows it

Quando um rapaz só quer ser amigo depois do namoro, isso significa provavelmente que ele quer mantê-la em segundo plano.

Provavelmente, ele quer mantê-la por perto para lhe poder pedir outra oportunidade se mudar de ideias sobre a separação.

You don’t deserve to be his second choice when you’re made to be someone’s first and only choice. Don’t allow him to friend zone you so he can use you again as he wants.

He’s keeping the door open

Se estivesse numa situação de longa duração, relação séria, then he’s probably still confused and isn’t completely sure in his decision about the breakup, and this is how he wants to leave all options open.

Maybe he already met someone new and he wants to keep the door open with you if the new relationship fails. He thinks that it’ll be easier to get a second chance from you if you guys stay friends.

Don’t allow him to think that he can walk in and walk away from your life whenever he wants. If he wants to end things, it has to be for good.

Apenas amigos ou amigos com benefícios?

Quando o seu ex lhe pede para continuarem amigos depois da separação e você aceita, deve sublinhar-lhe que só quer ser amigo, não amigo com benefícios.

That means occasional hookups are strictly forbidden. Trust me, you don’t want to go there because being friends with benefits with your ex will make your situation a lot more complicated.

That simply won’t end up well. One of you will start catching feelings for the other one again, and soon, you’ll want to rekindle the old flame.

Essa pessoa acabará por ficar ainda mais magoada do que estava depois da separação.

No entanto, se começar esse tipo de relação com o seu ex, há muitos regras importantes para os amigos com benefícios relação que precisa de seguir cegamente se quiser que resulte.

Friend zone or ‘maybe zone’?

It really hurts when the guy you love puts you in the friend zone, but it’s so much more hurtful when he puts you in a ‘maybe zone’.

He’ll still claim that he wants to be friends with you, while at the same time, he’ll also be giving you false hope that you’ll be together with him again.

You’ll end up stuck in the realm between a real relationship and friendship, and that won’t allow you to move on for a long time.

He’ll do it in such a sneaky way that by the time you figure out that he’s keeping you on the back burner, it’ll be almost impossible for you to let him go.

RELACIONADO: Se ele faz estas 10 coisas, desculpa, foste excluída

Ele gosta de ti e quer-te na sua vida

When a guy just wants to be friends after dating, it could also mean that even if he doesn’t love you the same way he did before, he still cares for you and wants you in his life.

He doesn’t want you as an emotional partner anymore, but he wants to stay friends with you.

After so much time spent together and after all the things you went through together, he doesn’t want to cut off all contact with you for good.

10 Things (Not) To Do After He Gives You The ‘Let’s Stay Friends’ Talk

I think that every man does this when they are breaking up with someone. The breakup talk suddenly turns into a ‘let’s remain friends’ speech.

If you didn’t expect it, and especially if you still have romantic feelings for him and you want to be more than friends with him, this talk will be hard on you.

Seguem-se algumas dicas que a ajudarão a lidar com o facto de um rapaz só querer ser seu amigo depois do namoro.

Don’t answer immediately

He did ask you to stay friends, but he didn’t say (and he definitely doesn’t expect) that you need to answer it immediately.

I know you’re on an emotional rollercoaster right now. You’re so confused, your feelings are mixed, and you simply don’t know what you should do. I know, I get you because I was once in your place, too.

It was definitely one of the most confusing and hardest moments of my life. I didn’t want to lose the man I loved sincerely, but at the same time, I was aware that I couldn’t have him in my life only as a friend.

Precisava de tempo para pensar em tudo e limpar os meus sentimentos e pensamentos. E, acredite, esse tempo ajudou-me muito, tal como o ajudará a si.

Passar algum tempo sozinho

Afaste-se e passe algum tempo consigo próprio, pois é de si que mais precisa neste momento. Esse tempo de silêncio ajudá-lo-á a tomar a decisão certa.

Don’t hurry anywhere. We all know how bad breakups can be, and no one expects you to be fine and heal immediately.

Leve o tempo que precisar e pense primeiro na sua própria vida, depois pense no seu ex e se o facto de continuar a ser amigo dele só a vai atrasar ou ajudá-la a seguir em frente mais depressa.

Cry as much as you need. You’re going through a rough period and you need to let those negative emotions out somehow.

Don’t keep them bottled up because sooner or later, they’ll come to the surface, and that’s when the biggest problem will appear.

Concentre-se primeiro em si próprio

I’m assuming that all of this time, your focus was on your relationship and your boyfriend. Now, it’s high time to mudar o foco para si próprio.

Para se curar completamente e seguir em frente de forma adequada, precisa de trabalhar para melhorar a sua autoestima e confiança. A sua separação afectou-as negativamente, sem dúvida.

You need to understand that none of it was your fault. You’re still a beautiful woman who has so much to offer and who’s worthy of love indeed.

You just need to wait for the right man who’ll know how to recognize it all.

So, work on yourself and do things that make you happy. Once you manage to improve your self-esteem, you’ll be able to hang out with your ex as friends.

Passar pelo processo de cura

Isto é realmente uma obrigação. Quer queira ou não continuar a ser amigo do seu ex, a sua relação terminou e precisa de se curar após a separação e seguir em frente com a sua vida, com ou sem o seu ex.

Eat as much chocolate or ice cream as you want. Watch as many romantic movies as you want. Cry your heart out if you think it’ll help you heal.

É preciso curar-se primeiro porque seguir em frente antes de se curar teria as piores consequências para a sua saúde emocional.

But, after it, you must get your strength back to draw the line and finally say that it’s enough. Get up from the bed and take your life by the horns.

Ligar-se aos seus pensamentos e emoções

É preciso organizar os pensamentos e as emoções. Por vezes, confundimos amor com luxúriaOu, por vezes, pensamos que gostamos de uma pessoa quando, na realidade, apenas nos habituámos a ela.

Stop hurting yourself. I know that we can’t command our hearts, but when you see that someone has stopped loving you, you must accept it.

You can’t be stuck in one place for too much time. You’ll waste many great opportunities that God is sending your way right now.

As long as you feel you aren’t over your ex, you shouldn’t even try to be friends with him. It’ll only make things much, much worse.

Rodeie-se de pessoas de quem gosta

Há muitas outras pessoas na sua vida que a amam e se preocupam sinceramente consigo, e deve rodear-se delas nestes momentos.

They’ll do everything to make you happy and distract your thoughts of the breakup and all of that. They’ll try to make you forget about some of these unfortunate events that are happening in your life.

Essas pessoas são as que mais contam e deve lembrar-se sempre disso. Os parceiros podem ir e vir, mas os amigos e a família ficarão ao seu lado, aconteça o que acontecer.

Eat, drink, go out, dance, travel… Simply enjoy life!

Even if you aren’t still completely sure that you’re ready to let it go and move on, you have to go out and live your life.

Rodeie-se do seu ente querido e ocupe-se com coisas que tragam felicidade à sua vida. Apreciar as pequenas coisase simplesmente viver a sua vida ao máximo.

Também pode criar uma conta em alguns sítios de encontros e conhecer novas pessoas dessa forma.

I’m not saying you should jump into a new relationship immediately, but going out and hanging with people would definitely help you move on faster.

Now, are you sure you’re ready to move on?

I know that it’s difficult to move on from a romantic relationship, especially if you’ve imagined that you’ll be with that person for the rest of your life.

However, you need to snap out of it. You have your own life you need to think about because it didn’t stop when your relationship did.

I already said this, but I have to repeat it again: you must be sure that you’re ready to move on if you want to try to be friends with your ex.

The breakup did hurt you, but it’ll hurt you more if you accept to remain friends with him if you still share some feelings for him and hope that you’ll reconcile one day.

Pedir-lhe para falar

You’re now ready to meet up with your ex. Dress up nicely, do your hair, but don’t exaggerate because you aren’t trying to make him understand what he lost.

Ask him how he pictured the friendship between you. Tell him that you’ll need to set some boundaries if you want to make it work.

If you see that his behavior is strange or that he’s giving you some mixed signals with his body language, that could mean he has possibly changed his mind… pull away immediately.

Recuar é definitivamente a melhor resposta aos seus sinais contraditórios. You don’t want to go through all of this once again, and you definitely don’t deserve someone who’s so indecisive.

You’re ready for THE decision

After you go through all of these steps, you’ll be ready to make the decision. I’m saying this again: if your breakup wasn’t nasty, you’ll probably decide to stay friends with your ex-boyfriend.

You have already gone through the healing process and you’re probably ready to move on with your life now, and accepting to remain friends with your ex is a good step toward moving on.

However, if you feel like you can’t be ‘just friends’ with the man you once loved, don’t accept it.

You can become very good friends, but because of all the things that happened between you, you’ll never be able to become best friends.

After all, this doesn’t have to be bad or awkward. You’ll get a guy friend who already knows you very well and who can give you excellent advice.

9 regras de ouro para amizades pós-namoro

If you don’t have any romantic feelings for your ex and you really think you’re ready to have a friendly relationship with him, then below are some rules for those post-dating friendships.

If you don’t want to get hurt again, you should follow each and every one of these rules.

Primeiro, passe algum tempo em silêncio

Starting a friendship immediately after the breakup would really be a bad idea. One of you still probably has strong feelings for the other and your friendship wouldn’t simply work that way.

Isso só vos faria sofrer a ambos. O que se passa é que ambos precisam de algum tempo a sós depois de a vossa relação romântica terminar e antes de decidirem começar um tipo de relação completamente diferente.

Na verdade, esta não é uma decisão que só um de vós possa tomar.

As separações nunca são fáceis. Believe me, one side will always suffer after the breakup, and that’s why you need to take some time for yourself just to think and process everything that is going on in your life right now.

Ambos precisam desse tempo para limpar os vossos pensamentos e emoções, e ambos gostariam de beneficiar da regra de não contacto.

Isto é especialmente importante se ainda tiver sentimentos fortes pelo seu ex. O tempo é o seu aliado e ajudá-lo-á a tomar a melhor decisão.

Reconsiderar os seus motivos

Antes de mais, é preciso refletir bem sobre a sua decisão. Reconsiderar os prós e contras de continuar amigo do seu ex. Why do you want to keep him in your life even if it’s as a friend?

If you had a nasty breakup, and especially if he did something wrong that led to your breakup, it’ll be even harder for you to remain friends with him after it.

Também precisa de pensar se ele merece ter algum tipo de lugar na sua vida. If he disrespected or mistreated you, you definitely don’t need him, not even as a friend.

On the other hand, if your paths have separated without any special reason and you still think he’s a great guy, then it would be nice to have a guy friend who already knows so much about you.

If you’re planning to stay friends with your ex just to get him back, I have to tell you that it’s a very bad idea and you should forget about it immediately.

That’s not a way you could get your man back, AND you’ll be even more hurt in the end. You don’t need another heartbreak, right?

Make sure you’re ready for this step

Se os dois tinham uma relação duradoura e de compromisso, têm de ter a certeza absoluta de que podem continuar amigos depois da separação.

If either one of you still has some feelings for the other one, it would be a huge red flag that your friendship won’t succeed.

Honestamente, a verdade é que duas pessoas nunca podem tornar-se demasiado amigas depois de uma relação séria.

Haverá sempre coisas e questões por resolver, e uma pessoa terá sempre sentimentos pela outra e esperará uma reconciliação.

Utilize este tempo de silêncio para trabalhar em si próprio e melhorar a auto-confiança e a autoestima que serão certamente afectadas após a separação.

Quando conseguir melhorá-los, tudo o resto se tornará muito mais claro para si.

No matter what you decide and what happens with you and your ex, you have to know that at the end of the day, you have yourself, and that’s the most precious and important thing.

Definir limites claros é uma obrigação

Se concordarem em continuar a ser amigos depois da separação, então têm de friendzone dele and don’t allow him to step away from that “safe” zone as I like to call it.

That’s why arranging and setting clear and healthy boundaries in your new relationship is of huge importance. They’ll keep your friendship safe and sound.

You’ll probably have the famous ‘let’s stay friends’ talk, and that’s when you should talk about things you would and won’t tolerate.

For example, you can’t interfere in each other’s love life or how hookups must be off the table under all circumstances.

Manter as coisas platónicas

Chamadas telefónicas e mensagens de texto are allowed. You can keep in touch, and it’ll probably be easier for both of you because you got used to each other a lot I assume.

However, you shouldn’t be in touch 24/7, like you did as you were dating. And, I honestly advise you to avoid meet-ups at least for the first three months until you both get used to this new situation.

Além disso, tudo seria muito mais fácil para ambos se mantivessem as coisas platónicas. Podem ser bons amigos e gostar um do outro sem estarem sempre em contacto e a sair juntos.

If you don’t see each other too often, there’s less chance that your feelings will come back and that you’ll hook up again. So, manter a vossa amizade platónica no início.

O passado deve ficar no passado

Don’t talk about the first time you met and fell in love. Don’t mention your first date or the first place you made love. Don’t bring up your memories, neither the good ones nor the bad ones.

You’ve decided to break up and move on with your life and now, you must do that. Bringing up your past relationship and talking about all the things you went through together won’t do you any good, trust me.

It might only hold you back. You’ll never be able to free yourself from the shackles of the past until you finally leave it right where it belongs, in the past, and stop talking about it once and for all.

Don’t talk about your new relationships

Yes, you’re friends and friends talk about all the spheres of each other’s lives. However, you should always keep in mind that you’re exes who decided to become friends after they ended their relationship.

You just can’t talk about new love and new partners to someone you loved in the past. Trust me, it’ll be the most awkward conversation you ever had.

You both have every right to move on with your lives and to meet new people, but you shouldn’t talk with each other about it.

Admit it, wouldn’t it be too damn awkward and weird to ask your ex-boyfriend for dating advice?

Saber quando recuar

No momento em que sentir que as suas emoções estão a voltar, tem de se afastar.

O mesmo se aplica se vir que o seu ex está a enviar-lhe sinais contraditórios e que mudou de ideias e quer voltar para si.

You must take care of yourself and your own life. Going back and forth with your ex won’t do you any good.

On the contrary, you’ll only be wasting your time, and you could miss something or someone really great because of it.

Por isso, da primeira vez que notar que algo não está bem e começar a duvidar que o seu ex-parceiro/novo amigo mudou de ideias em relação a vocês os dois, afaste-se da sua amizade e deixá-lo ir de vez.

Ver também: Como lidar com o facto de a sua melhor amiga ser amiga do seu ex

The fact is you’ll never become best friends

You can become close friends and you probably will, and I’m saying again: IF your breakup wasn’t awful and nasty, of course. After all, you spent so much time together and you probably know each other best.

However, there will always be some issues between you… some barriers that will never allow you to entendem-se como os melhores amigos.

And, you shouldn’t, actually, because that close relationship between you wouldn’t end up well, believe me.

Se ainda gostam um do outro e querem mesmo continuar a ser amigos, devem respeitar-se e apoiar-se sempre.

Don’t bad mouth each other because that’s definitely not a path to becoming close friends.

Para terminar

No relationship coach or any other relationship expert can give you the right answer to your question, ‘What does it mean when a guy just wants to be friends after dating?’ It’s a fact.

You know why? Because the answers to this question depend on so many things. Does he still love you, does he still have strong feelings for you, does he want to get you back, was your breakup nasty…

Estas são apenas algumas das coisas que afectam a resposta à sua pergunta acima. You see… Men are just as complicated as women are, but they know how to hide it very well.

Ele pode estar a fazê-lo porque gosta mesmo de si e quer, pelo menos, ser seu amigo, mas também pode estar a fazê-lo para a reconquistar.

No fim de contas, as razões dele não são assim tão importantes. O mais importante é o que sente e o que quer honestamente.

Antes de tomar essa decisão final, eis algumas regras e coisas que deve saber sobre as amizades pós-namoro.

Se acha que isso é demasiado para si, então you shouldn’t even try being friends com o teu ex.

Accepting to remain buddies with your ex-boyfriend would mean that you’ve completely moved on and are ready for a new love. Whichever decision you make, I really hope it’ll make you happy.