Qué hacer cuando un chico sólo quiere ser amigo después de salir con él

¿Es realmente posible seguir siendo amigos después de una ruptura? ¿Qué significa que un chico sólo quiera ser amigo después de salir? ¿Existen reglas para que esas amistades después de salir tengan éxito?

Quédese conmigo porque las respuestas a todas estas preguntas le esperan a continuación.

Honestly, I don’t know what is harder… to end a serious relationship with someone or to remain friends with that person after a breakup?

Lo lamentable es que, en ambos casos, una de las partes siempre saldrá perjudicada y sufrirá profundamente.

Remaining friends after a breakup isn’t an easy step to make, and that’s why both partners must really think it through before they make the final decision.

That’s why the best thing you can do is to give yourselves some time after the breakup. Both partners need to be sure they’re able to move on and that there are no romantic feelings between them anymore.

I know it’s hard to accept that he won’t be a part of your life anymore, but trust me, it’s better that way than to stay friends with him and live in hope that one day, he’ll change his mind and start a real relationship again with you.

¿Qué significa que un chico sólo quiera que seamos amigos después de salir? Seis posibles razones

Cuando un chico sólo quiere ser amigo después de salir, puede ser una verdadera ayuda para una chica, sobre todo si ella aún siente algo fuerte por él.

She knows that she can’t see him as a friend, but at the same time, she doesn’t want to lose him entirely. Rumbo a la zona de amigos inmediatamente después de terminar tu relación es una mala idea.

Neither one of you is ready for that step, but you probably don’t want to lose each other for good because even though you don’t love each other the way you did before, you still care.

La verdad es que hay muchas razones cuando un chico sólo quiere ser amigos después de salir.

It doesn’t have to mean that he really wants to be friends only; maybe it’s one of his techniques to get you back. Below, I will list a few more reasons why he just wants to be friends after dating.

Quiere aliviar su culpa, no tu dolor.

When a guy just wants to be friends after dating, it’s, unfortunately, only because they don’t want to be the bad guy, not because they care about your feelings.

He doesn’t want other people to judge him. He doesn’t want to be seen as a guy who used you and then dumped you.

Probablemente te pidió que siguierais siendo amigos sólo porque quería que la ruptura fuera lo más suave posible.

It’ll stop you from moving on, and he knows it

Cuando un chico sólo quiere que seamos amigos después de salir, probablemente significa que quiere mantenerte en un segundo plano.

Probablemente quiera mantenerte cerca para poder pedirte otra oportunidad si cambia de opinión sobre la ruptura.

You don’t deserve to be his second choice when you’re made to be someone’s first and only choice. Don’t allow him to friend zone you so he can use you again as he wants.

He’s keeping the door open

Si estuvieras en un largo plazo, relación seria, then he’s probably still confused and isn’t completely sure in his decision about the breakup, and this is how he wants to leave all options open.

Maybe he already met someone new and he wants to keep the door open with you if the new relationship fails. He thinks that it’ll be easier to get a second chance from you if you guys stay friends.

Don’t allow him to think that he can walk in and walk away from your life whenever he wants. If he wants to end things, it has to be for good.

¿Sólo amigos o amigos con derecho a roce?

Cuando tu ex te pida que sigáis siendo amigos después de la ruptura y tú lo aceptes, debes recalcarle que sólo quieres que seáis amigos, no amigos con derecho a roce.

That means occasional hookups are strictly forbidden. Trust me, you don’t want to go there because being friends with benefits with your ex will make your situation a lot more complicated.

That simply won’t end up well. One of you will start catching feelings for the other one again, and soon, you’ll want to rekindle the old flame.

Esa persona acabará aún más herida de lo que estaba tras la ruptura.

Sin embargo, si inicias ese tipo de relación con tu ex, hay muchas normas importantes para los amigos con derecho a roce relación que debes seguir ciegamente si quieres que funcione.

Friend zone or ‘maybe zone’?

It really hurts when the guy you love puts you in the friend zone, but it’s so much more hurtful when he puts you in a ‘maybe zone’.

He’ll still claim that he wants to be friends with you, while at the same time, he’ll also be giving you false hope that you’ll be together with him again.

You’ll end up stuck in the realm between a real relationship and friendship, and that won’t allow you to move on for a long time.

He’ll do it in such a sneaky way that by the time you figure out that he’s keeping you on the back burner, it’ll be almost impossible for you to let him go.

RELACIONADO: Si hace estas 10 cosas, lo siento, te han hecho amigo

Se preocupa por ti y te quiere en su vida

When a guy just wants to be friends after dating, it could also mean that even if he doesn’t love you the same way he did before, he still cares for you and wants you in his life.

He doesn’t want you as an emotional partner anymore, but he wants to stay friends with you.

After so much time spent together and after all the things you went through together, he doesn’t want to cut off all contact with you for good.

10 Things (Not) To Do After He Gives You The ‘Let’s Stay Friends’ Talk

I think that every man does this when they are breaking up with someone. The breakup talk suddenly turns into a ‘let’s remain friends’ speech.

If you didn’t expect it, and especially if you still have romantic feelings for him and you want to be more than friends with him, this talk will be hard on you.

A continuación te damos algunos consejos que te ayudarán a lidiar con cuando un chico sólo quiere ser amigo después de salir.

Don’t answer immediately

He did ask you to stay friends, but he didn’t say (and he definitely doesn’t expect) that you need to answer it immediately.

I know you’re on an emotional rollercoaster right now. You’re so confused, your feelings are mixed, and you simply don’t know what you should do. I know, I get you because I was once in your place, too.

It was definitely one of the most confusing and hardest moments of my life. I didn’t want to lose the man I loved sincerely, but at the same time, I was aware that I couldn’t have him in my life only as a friend.

Necesitaba tiempo para pensar en todo y aclarar mis sentimientos y mis pensamientos. Y, créeme, ese tiempo fue lo que más me ayudó, igual que te ayudará a ti.

Pasar tiempo a solas

Aléjate y pasa tiempo contigo mismo, porque ahora es cuando más te necesitas. Ese tiempo de tranquilidad te ayudará a tomar la decisión correcta.

Don’t hurry anywhere. We all know how bad breakups can be, and no one expects you to be fine and heal immediately.

Tómate todo el tiempo que necesites y piensa primero en tu propia vida, después piensa en tu ex y en si seguir siendo su amigo sólo te frenará o te ayudará a avanzar más rápido.

Cry as much as you need. You’re going through a rough period and you need to let those negative emotions out somehow.

Don’t keep them bottled up because sooner or later, they’ll come to the surface, and that’s when the biggest problem will appear.

Concéntrese primero en sí mismo

I’m assuming that all of this time, your focus was on your relationship and your boyfriend. Now, it’s high time to vuelve a centrarte en ti mismo.

Para curarte por completo y seguir adelante como es debido, tienes que trabajar para mejorar tu autoestima y tu confianza. Seguro que tu ruptura les afectó negativamente.

You need to understand that none of it was your fault. You’re still a beautiful woman who has so much to offer and who’s worthy of love indeed.

You just need to wait for the right man who’ll know how to recognize it all.

So, work on yourself and do things that make you happy. Once you manage to improve your self-esteem, you’ll be able to hang out with your ex as friends.

Pasar por el proceso de curación

Esto es realmente imprescindible. Tanto si quieres seguir siendo amigo de tu ex como si no, tu relación ha terminado y necesitas curarte tras la ruptura y seguir adelante con tu vida con o sin tu ex en ella.

Eat as much chocolate or ice cream as you want. Watch as many romantic movies as you want. Cry your heart out if you think it’ll help you heal.

Debes curarte primero porque seguir adelante antes de curarse tendría las peores consecuencias para tu salud emocional.

But, after it, you must get your strength back to draw the line and finally say that it’s enough. Get up from the bed and take your life by the horns.

Conecta con tus pensamientos y emociones

Necesitas ordenar tus pensamientos y emociones. A veces, confundimos amor con lujuriaO, a veces, pensamos que amamos a una persona cuando, en realidad, simplemente nos hemos acostumbrado a ella.

Stop hurting yourself. I know that we can’t command our hearts, but when you see that someone has stopped loving you, you must accept it.

You can’t be stuck in one place for too much time. You’ll waste many great opportunities that God is sending your way right now.

As long as you feel you aren’t over your ex, you shouldn’t even try to be friends with him. It’ll only make things much, much worse.

Rodéate de la gente que quieres

Hay muchas otras personas en tu vida que te quieren y se preocupan sinceramente por ti, y deberías rodearte de ellas en estos momentos.

They’ll do everything to make you happy and distract your thoughts of the breakup and all of that. They’ll try to make you forget about some of these unfortunate events that are happening in your life.

Esas personas son las que más cuentan y deberías recordarlo siempre. Las parejas pueden ir y venir, pero los amigos y la familia permanecerán a tu lado pase lo que pase.

Eat, drink, go out, dance, travel… Simply enjoy life!

Even if you aren’t still completely sure that you’re ready to let it go and move on, you have to go out and live your life.

Rodéate de tu ser querido y ocúpate de cosas que aporten felicidad a tu vida. Disfrute de las pequeñas cosasy simplemente vive tu vida al máximo.

También puedes crearte una cuenta en algunos sitios de citas y conocer así a gente nueva.

I’m not saying you should jump into a new relationship immediately, but going out and hanging with people would definitely help you move on faster.

Now, are you sure you’re ready to move on?

I know that it’s difficult to move on from a romantic relationship, especially if you’ve imagined that you’ll be with that person for the rest of your life.

However, you need to snap out of it. You have your own life you need to think about because it didn’t stop when your relationship did.

I already said this, but I have to repeat it again: you must be sure that you’re ready to move on if you want to try to be friends with your ex.

The breakup did hurt you, but it’ll hurt you more if you accept to remain friends with him if you still share some feelings for him and hope that you’ll reconcile one day.

Pídele que hable

You’re now ready to meet up with your ex. Dress up nicely, do your hair, but don’t exaggerate because you aren’t trying to make him understand what he lost.

Ask him how he pictured the friendship between you. Tell him that you’ll need to set some boundaries if you want to make it work.

If you see that his behavior is strange or that he’s giving you some mixed signals with his body language, that could mean he has possibly changed his mind… pull away immediately.

Retroceder es definitivamente la mejor respuesta a sus señales contradictorias. You don’t want to go through all of this once again, and you definitely don’t deserve someone who’s so indecisive.

You’re ready for THE decision

After you go through all of these steps, you’ll be ready to make the decision. I’m saying this again: if your breakup wasn’t nasty, you’ll probably decide to stay friends with your ex-boyfriend.

You have already gone through the healing process and you’re probably ready to move on with your life now, and accepting to remain friends with your ex is a good step toward moving on.

However, if you feel like you can’t be ‘just friends’ with the man you once loved, don’t accept it.

You can become very good friends, but because of all the things that happened between you, you’ll never be able to become best friends.

After all, this doesn’t have to be bad or awkward. You’ll get a guy friend who already knows you very well and who can give you excellent advice.

9 reglas de oro para la amistad después de una cita

If you don’t have any romantic feelings for your ex and you really think you’re ready to have a friendly relationship with him, then below are some rules for those post-dating friendships.

If you don’t want to get hurt again, you should follow each and every one of these rules.

Tómese primero un tiempo de silencio

Starting a friendship immediately after the breakup would really be a bad idea. One of you still probably has strong feelings for the other and your friendship wouldn’t simply work that way.

Sólo os haría sufrir a los dos. El caso es que a los dos os vendría bien pasar un tiempo a solas después de que termine vuestra relación romántica y antes de que decidáis empezar otro tipo de relación.

De verdad, no es una decisión que sólo uno de vosotros pueda tomar.

Las rupturas nunca son fáciles. Believe me, one side will always suffer after the breakup, and that’s why you need to take some time for yourself just to think and process everything that is going on in your life right now.

Los dos necesitáis ese tiempo para aclarar vuestros pensamientos y vuestras emociones, y los dos querríais beneficiarse de la prohibición de contacto.

Esto es especialmente importante si aún sientes algo por tu ex. El tiempo es tu aliado y te ayudará a tomar la mejor decisión.

Reconsidere sus motivos

En primer lugar, tienes que pensar bien tu decisión. Reconsidere la pros y contras de seguir siendo amigo de tu ex. Why do you want to keep him in your life even if it’s as a friend?

If you had a nasty breakup, and especially if he did something wrong that led to your breakup, it’ll be even harder for you to remain friends with him after it.

También tienes que pensar si merece tener algún lugar en tu vida. If he disrespected or mistreated you, you definitely don’t need him, not even as a friend.

On the other hand, if your paths have separated without any special reason and you still think he’s a great guy, then it would be nice to have a guy friend who already knows so much about you.

If you’re planning to stay friends with your ex just to get him back, I have to tell you that it’s a very bad idea and you should forget about it immediately.

That’s not a way you could get your man back, AND you’ll be even more hurt in the end. You don’t need another heartbreak, right?

Make sure you’re ready for this step

Si los dos teníais una relación duradera y comprometida, debéis estar completamente seguros de que podéis seguir siendo amigos después de la ruptura.

If either one of you still has some feelings for the other one, it would be a huge red flag that your friendship won’t succeed.

Sinceramente, la verdad es que dos personas nunca pueden llegar a ser demasiado amigas después de una relación seria.

Siempre habrá cosas y asuntos sin resolver, y una persona siempre sentirá algo por la otra y esperará una reconciliación.

Utiliza este tiempo de tranquilidad para trabajar en ti mismo y mejorar la confianza en ti mismo y la autoestima que, con toda seguridad, se verán dañadas tras la ruptura.

Una vez que consigas mejorarlas, todo lo demás te resultará mucho más claro.

No matter what you decide and what happens with you and your ex, you have to know that at the end of the day, you have yourself, and that’s the most precious and important thing.

Es imprescindible establecer límites claros

Si estáis de acuerdo en seguir siendo amigos después de la ruptura, entonces tenéis que friendzone él and don’t allow him to step away from that “safe” zone as I like to call it.

That’s why arranging and setting clear and healthy boundaries in your new relationship is of huge importance. They’ll keep your friendship safe and sound.

You’ll probably have the famous ‘let’s stay friends’ talk, and that’s when you should talk about things you would and won’t tolerate.

For example, you can’t interfere in each other’s love life or how hookups must be off the table under all circumstances.

Mantén las cosas platónicas

Llamadas telefónicas y mensajes de texto are allowed. You can keep in touch, and it’ll probably be easier for both of you because you got used to each other a lot I assume.

However, you shouldn’t be in touch 24/7, like you did as you were dating. And, I honestly advise you to avoid meet-ups at least for the first three months until you both get used to this new situation.

Además, todo sería mucho más fácil para los dos si mantuvierais las cosas platónicas. Podéis ser buenos amigos y preocuparos el uno por el otro sin necesidad de estar en contacto y salir todo el tiempo.

If you don’t see each other too often, there’s less chance that your feelings will come back and that you’ll hook up again. So, mantén tu amistad platónica al principio.

El pasado debe permanecer en el pasado

Don’t talk about the first time you met and fell in love. Don’t mention your first date or the first place you made love. Don’t bring up your memories, neither the good ones nor the bad ones.

You’ve decided to break up and move on with your life and now, you must do that. Bringing up your past relationship and talking about all the things you went through together won’t do you any good, trust me.

It might only hold you back. You’ll never be able to free yourself from the shackles of the past until you finally leave it right where it belongs, in the past, and stop talking about it once and for all.

Don’t talk about your new relationships

Yes, you’re friends and friends talk about all the spheres of each other’s lives. However, you should always keep in mind that you’re exes who decided to become friends after they ended their relationship.

You just can’t talk about new love and new partners to someone you loved in the past. Trust me, it’ll be the most awkward conversation you ever had.

You both have every right to move on with your lives and to meet new people, but you shouldn’t talk with each other about it.

Admit it, wouldn’t it be too damn awkward and weird to ask your ex-boyfriend for dating advice?

Saber cuándo retirarse

En el momento en que sientas que tus emociones están volviendo, tienes que retirarte.

Lo mismo ocurre si ves que tu ex te envía señales contradictorias y que ha cambiado de opinión y quiere recuperarte.

You must take care of yourself and your own life. Going back and forth with your ex won’t do you any good.

On the contrary, you’ll only be wasting your time, and you could miss something or someone really great because of it.

Así que, la primera vez que notes que algo no va bien y empieces a dudar de que tu ex pareja/nuevo amigo haya cambiado de opinión sobre vosotros dos, retírate de tu amistad y que se vaya para siempre.

Véase también: Cómo afrontar que tu mejor amiga sea amiga de tu ex

The fact is you’ll never become best friends

You can become close friends and you probably will, and I’m saying again: IF your breakup wasn’t awful and nasty, of course. After all, you spent so much time together and you probably know each other best.

However, there will always be some issues between you… some barriers that will never allow you to entenderse como los mejores amigos.

And, you shouldn’t, actually, because that close relationship between you wouldn’t end up well, believe me.

Si aún os queréis y realmente queréis seguir siendo amigos, sólo debéis respetaros y estar ahí el uno para el otro siempre.

Don’t bad mouth each other because that’s definitely not a path to becoming close friends.

Para concluir

No relationship coach or any other relationship expert can give you the right answer to your question, ‘What does it mean when a guy just wants to be friends after dating?’ It’s a fact.

You know why? Because the answers to this question depend on so many things. Does he still love you, does he still have strong feelings for you, does he want to get you back, was your breakup nasty…

Éstas son sólo algunas de las cosas que afectan a la respuesta a su pregunta anterior. You see… Men are just as complicated as women are, but they know how to hide it very well.

Él puede estar haciéndolo porque realmente le importas y quiere ser tu amigo al menos, pero también puede estar haciéndolo para recuperarte.

Al fin y al cabo, sus razones no son tan importantes. Lo más importante es cómo te sientes tú al respecto y lo que quieres sinceramente.

Antes de tomar la decisión final, aquí tienes algunas reglas y cosas que deberías saber sobre esas amistades posteriores a la cita.

Si crees que son demasiado para ti, entonces you shouldn’t even try being friends con tu ex.

Accepting to remain buddies with your ex-boyfriend would mean that you’ve completely moved on and are ready for a new love. Whichever decision you make, I really hope it’ll make you happy.