Cosa fare quando un ragazzo vuole solo essere amico dopo un appuntamento?

È davvero possibile rimanere amici dopo una rottura? Cosa significa quando un ragazzo vuole solo essere amico dopo un appuntamento? Ci sono delle regole per far sì che le amicizie dopo un appuntamento abbiano successo?

Restate con me perché le risposte a tutte queste domande vi aspettano qui sotto.

Honestly, I don’t know what is harder… to end a serious relationship with someone or to remain friends with that person after a breakup?

Il fatto spiacevole è che in entrambi i casi una delle due parti sarà sempre ferita e soffrirà profondamente.

Remaining friends after a breakup isn’t an easy step to make, and that’s why both partners must really think it through before they make the final decision.

That’s why the best thing you can do is to give yourselves some time after the breakup. Both partners need to be sure they’re able to move on and that there are no romantic feelings between them anymore.

I know it’s hard to accept that he won’t be a part of your life anymore, but trust me, it’s better that way than to stay friends with him and live in hope that one day, he’ll change his mind and start a real relationship again with you.

Cosa significa quando un ragazzo vuole solo essere amico dopo un appuntamento? Sei possibili ragioni

Quando un ragazzo vuole solo essere amico dopo la frequentazione, può essere un vero aiuto per una ragazza, soprattutto se prova ancora dei sentimenti forti per lui.

She knows that she can’t see him as a friend, but at the same time, she doesn’t want to lose him entirely. Verso la zona amicizia subito dopo la fine della relazione è una pessima idea.

Neither one of you is ready for that step, but you probably don’t want to lose each other for good because even though you don’t love each other the way you did before, you still care.

La verità è che ci sono molte ragioni per cui un ragazzo vuole solo essere amico dopo un appuntamento.

It doesn’t have to mean that he really wants to be friends only; maybe it’s one of his techniques to get you back. Below, I will list a few more reasons why he just wants to be friends after dating.

Vuole alleviare il suo senso di colpa, non il vostro dolore.

When a guy just wants to be friends after dating, it’s, unfortunately, only because they don’t want to be the bad guy, not because they care about your feelings.

He doesn’t want other people to judge him. He doesn’t want to be seen as a guy who used you and then dumped you.

Probabilmente vi ha chiesto di rimanere amici solo perché voleva che la rottura andasse il più possibile liscia.

It’ll stop you from moving on, and he knows it

Quando un ragazzo vuole solo essere amico dopo un appuntamento, probabilmente significa che vuole tenervi in disparte.

Probabilmente vuole tenervi con sé per potervi chiedere un'altra possibilità se cambia idea sulla rottura.

You don’t deserve to be his second choice when you’re made to be someone’s first and only choice. Don’t allow him to friend zone you so he can use you again as he wants.

He’s keeping the door open

Se si è in una situazione di lungo periodo, relazione seria, then he’s probably still confused and isn’t completely sure in his decision about the breakup, and this is how he wants to leave all options open.

Maybe he already met someone new and he wants to keep the door open with you if the new relationship fails. He thinks that it’ll be easier to get a second chance from you if you guys stay friends.

Don’t allow him to think that he can walk in and walk away from your life whenever he wants. If he wants to end things, it has to be for good.

Solo amici o amici con benefici?

Quando il vostro ex vi chiede di rimanere amici dopo la rottura e voi accettate, dovreste sottolineargli che volete solo essere amici, non amici con benefici.

That means occasional hookups are strictly forbidden. Trust me, you don’t want to go there because being friends with benefits with your ex will make your situation a lot more complicated.

That simply won’t end up well. One of you will start catching feelings for the other one again, and soon, you’ll want to rekindle the old flame.

Quella persona finirà per essere ancora più ferita di quanto non lo fosse dopo la rottura.

Tuttavia, se iniziate una relazione di questo tipo con il vostro ex, ci sono molti regole importanti per gli amici con benefici relazione che dovete seguire ciecamente se volete che funzioni.

Friend zone or ‘maybe zone’?

It really hurts when the guy you love puts you in the friend zone, but it’s so much more hurtful when he puts you in a ‘maybe zone’.

He’ll still claim that he wants to be friends with you, while at the same time, he’ll also be giving you false hope that you’ll be together with him again.

You’ll end up stuck in the realm between a real relationship and friendship, and that won’t allow you to move on for a long time.

He’ll do it in such a sneaky way that by the time you figure out that he’s keeping you on the back burner, it’ll be almost impossible for you to let him go.

RELATIVO: Se fa queste 10 cose, mi dispiace, sei stata friendzonata

Si preoccupa per voi e vi vuole nella sua vita.

When a guy just wants to be friends after dating, it could also mean that even if he doesn’t love you the same way he did before, he still cares for you and wants you in his life.

He doesn’t want you as an emotional partner anymore, but he wants to stay friends with you.

After so much time spent together and after all the things you went through together, he doesn’t want to cut off all contact with you for good.

10 Things (Not) To Do After He Gives You The ‘Let’s Stay Friends’ Talk

I think that every man does this when they are breaking up with someone. The breakup talk suddenly turns into a ‘let’s remain friends’ speech.

If you didn’t expect it, and especially if you still have romantic feelings for him and you want to be more than friends with him, this talk will be hard on you.

Di seguito sono riportati alcuni consigli che vi aiuteranno a gestire i casi in cui un ragazzo vuole solo essere amico dopo un appuntamento.

Don’t answer immediately

He did ask you to stay friends, but he didn’t say (and he definitely doesn’t expect) that you need to answer it immediately.

I know you’re on an emotional rollercoaster right now. You’re so confused, your feelings are mixed, and you simply don’t know what you should do. I know, I get you because I was once in your place, too.

It was definitely one of the most confusing and hardest moments of my life. I didn’t want to lose the man I loved sincerely, but at the same time, I was aware that I couldn’t have him in my life only as a friend.

Avevo bisogno di tempo per riflettere su tutto e per chiarire i miei sentimenti e i miei pensieri. E, credetemi, quel tempo mi ha aiutato moltissimo, proprio come aiuterà voi.

Abbracciare un po' di tempo da soli

Staccatevi e trascorrete del tempo con voi stessi, perché in questo momento avete bisogno di voi stessi. Questo tempo tranquillo vi aiuterà a prendere la decisione giusta.

Don’t hurry anywhere. We all know how bad breakups can be, and no one expects you to be fine and heal immediately.

Prendetevi tutto il tempo necessario e pensate prima di tutto alla vostra vita, poi pensate al vostro ex e se rimanere amici con lui vi rallenterà o vi aiuterà ad andare avanti più velocemente.

Cry as much as you need. You’re going through a rough period and you need to let those negative emotions out somehow.

Don’t keep them bottled up because sooner or later, they’ll come to the surface, and that’s when the biggest problem will appear.

Concentrarsi prima di tutto su se stessi

I’m assuming that all of this time, your focus was on your relationship and your boyfriend. Now, it’s high time to spostare l'attenzione su se stessi.

Per guarire completamente e andare avanti in modo corretto, dovete lavorare per migliorare la vostra autostima e la vostra sicurezza. La vostra rottura li ha sicuramente influenzati negativamente.

You need to understand that none of it was your fault. You’re still a beautiful woman who has so much to offer and who’s worthy of love indeed.

You just need to wait for the right man who’ll know how to recognize it all.

So, work on yourself and do things that make you happy. Once you manage to improve your self-esteem, you’ll be able to hang out with your ex as friends.

Attraversare il processo di guarigione

Questo è davvero un must. Che vogliate o meno rimanere amici del vostro ex, la vostra relazione è finita e dovete guarire dopo la rottura e andare avanti con la vostra vita, con o senza il vostro ex.

Eat as much chocolate or ice cream as you want. Watch as many romantic movies as you want. Cry your heart out if you think it’ll help you heal.

Dovete prima guarire perché andare avanti prima di guarire avrebbe le peggiori conseguenze sulla vostra salute emotiva.

But, after it, you must get your strength back to draw the line and finally say that it’s enough. Get up from the bed and take your life by the horns.

Connettersi con i propri pensieri ed emozioni

È necessario riordinare i propri pensieri e le proprie emozioni. A volte, abbiamo scambiato l'amore per la lussuriaOppure, a volte, pensiamo di amare una persona quando, in realtà, ci siamo solo abituati a lei.

Stop hurting yourself. I know that we can’t command our hearts, but when you see that someone has stopped loving you, you must accept it.

You can’t be stuck in one place for too much time. You’ll waste many great opportunities that God is sending your way right now.

As long as you feel you aren’t over your ex, you shouldn’t even try to be friends with him. It’ll only make things much, much worse.

Circondatevi di persone che amate

Ci sono tante altre persone nella vostra vita che vi amano e si preoccupano sinceramente di voi, e dovreste circondarvi di loro in questi momenti.

They’ll do everything to make you happy and distract your thoughts of the breakup and all of that. They’ll try to make you forget about some of these unfortunate events that are happening in your life.

Queste persone sono quelle che contano di più e dovete sempre ricordarlo. I partner possono andare e venire, ma gli amici e la famiglia rimarranno al vostro fianco in ogni caso.

Eat, drink, go out, dance, travel… Simply enjoy life!

Even if you aren’t still completely sure that you’re ready to let it go and move on, you have to go out and live your life.

Circondatevi della persona amata e occupatevi di cose che portano felicità nella vostra vita. Godetevi le piccole cosee vivere semplicemente la propria vita al massimo.

Potete anche creare un account su alcuni siti di incontri e conoscere nuove persone in questo modo.

I’m not saying you should jump into a new relationship immediately, but going out and hanging with people would definitely help you move on faster.

Now, are you sure you’re ready to move on?

I know that it’s difficult to move on from a romantic relationship, especially if you’ve imagined that you’ll be with that person for the rest of your life.

However, you need to snap out of it. You have your own life you need to think about because it didn’t stop when your relationship did.

I already said this, but I have to repeat it again: you must be sure that you’re ready to move on if you want to try to be friends with your ex.

The breakup did hurt you, but it’ll hurt you more if you accept to remain friends with him if you still share some feelings for him and hope that you’ll reconcile one day.

Chiedetegli di parlare

You’re now ready to meet up with your ex. Dress up nicely, do your hair, but don’t exaggerate because you aren’t trying to make him understand what he lost.

Ask him how he pictured the friendship between you. Tell him that you’ll need to set some boundaries if you want to make it work.

If you see that his behavior is strange or that he’s giving you some mixed signals with his body language, that could mean he has possibly changed his mind… pull away immediately.

Fare marcia indietro è sicuramente la migliore risposta ai suoi segnali contrastanti. You don’t want to go through all of this once again, and you definitely don’t deserve someone who’s so indecisive.

You’re ready for THE decision

After you go through all of these steps, you’ll be ready to make the decision. I’m saying this again: if your breakup wasn’t nasty, you’ll probably decide to stay friends with your ex-boyfriend.

You have already gone through the healing process and you’re probably ready to move on with your life now, and accepting to remain friends with your ex is a good step toward moving on.

However, if you feel like you can’t be ‘just friends’ with the man you once loved, don’t accept it.

You can become very good friends, but because of all the things that happened between you, you’ll never be able to become best friends.

After all, this doesn’t have to be bad or awkward. You’ll get a guy friend who already knows you very well and who can give you excellent advice.

9 regole d'oro per le amicizie post appuntamento

If you don’t have any romantic feelings for your ex and you really think you’re ready to have a friendly relationship with him, then below are some rules for those post-dating friendships.

If you don’t want to get hurt again, you should follow each and every one of these rules.

Prendetevi prima un po' di tempo per stare tranquilli

Starting a friendship immediately after the breakup would really be a bad idea. One of you still probably has strong feelings for the other and your friendship wouldn’t simply work that way.

Non farebbe altro che farvi soffrire entrambi. Il fatto è che entrambi potreste avere bisogno di un po' di tempo da soli dopo la fine della vostra relazione sentimentale e prima che decidiate di iniziare una relazione di tipo completamente diverso.

In realtà, questa non è una decisione che solo uno di voi può prendere.

Le rotture non sono mai facili. Believe me, one side will always suffer after the breakup, and that’s why you need to take some time for yourself just to think and process everything that is going on in your life right now.

Entrambi avete bisogno di questo tempo per chiarire i vostri pensieri e le vostre emozioni, ed entrambi vorreste beneficiare della regola del divieto di contatto.

Questo è particolarmente importante se provate ancora dei sentimenti forti per il vostro ex. Il tempo è il vostro alleato e vi aiuterà a prendere la decisione migliore.

Riconsiderate le vostre motivazioni

Prima di tutto, dovete riflettere bene sulla vostra decisione. Riconsiderate il Pro e contro del rimanere amici del proprio ex. Why do you want to keep him in your life even if it’s as a friend?

If you had a nasty breakup, and especially if he did something wrong that led to your breakup, it’ll be even harder for you to remain friends with him after it.

Dovete anche pensare se lui merita di avere un posto nella vostra vita. If he disrespected or mistreated you, you definitely don’t need him, not even as a friend.

On the other hand, if your paths have separated without any special reason and you still think he’s a great guy, then it would be nice to have a guy friend who already knows so much about you.

If you’re planning to stay friends with your ex just to get him back, I have to tell you that it’s a very bad idea and you should forget about it immediately.

That’s not a way you could get your man back, AND you’ll be even more hurt in the end. You don’t need another heartbreak, right?

Make sure you’re ready for this step

Se avete avuto una relazione seria e duratura, dovete essere entrambi sicuri di poter rimanere amici dopo la rottura.

If either one of you still has some feelings for the other one, it would be a huge red flag that your friendship won’t succeed.

Onestamente, la verità è che due persone non possono mai diventare troppo amiche dopo una relazione seria.

Ci saranno sempre cose e questioni irrisolte, e una persona proverà sempre dei sentimenti per l'altra e spererà in una riconciliazione.

Usate questo tempo tranquillo per lavorare su voi stessi e migliorare la fiducia in voi stessi e l'autostima che sicuramente saranno danneggiate dopo la rottura.

Una volta che sarete riusciti a migliorare questi aspetti, tutto il resto vi sarà molto più chiaro.

No matter what you decide and what happens with you and your ex, you have to know that at the end of the day, you have yourself, and that’s the most precious and important thing.

Stabilire confini chiari è d'obbligo

Se accettate di rimanere amici dopo la rottura, allora dovete friendzone lui and don’t allow him to step away from that “safe” zone as I like to call it.

That’s why arranging and setting clear and healthy boundaries in your new relationship is of huge importance. They’ll keep your friendship safe and sound.

You’ll probably have the famous ‘let’s stay friends’ talk, and that’s when you should talk about things you would and won’t tolerate.

For example, you can’t interfere in each other’s love life or how hookups must be off the table under all circumstances.

Mantenere le cose platoniche

Telefonate e messaggi di testo are allowed. You can keep in touch, and it’ll probably be easier for both of you because you got used to each other a lot I assume.

However, you shouldn’t be in touch 24/7, like you did as you were dating. And, I honestly advise you to avoid meet-ups at least for the first three months until you both get used to this new situation.

Inoltre, sarebbe tutto molto più facile per entrambi se manteneste le cose platoniche. Potete essere buoni amici e prendervi cura l'uno dell'altro senza essere in contatto e frequentarvi continuamente.

If you don’t see each other too often, there’s less chance that your feelings will come back and that you’ll hook up again. So, mantenere la vostra amicizia platonica all'inizio.

Il passato deve rimanere nel passato

Don’t talk about the first time you met and fell in love. Don’t mention your first date or the first place you made love. Don’t bring up your memories, neither the good ones nor the bad ones.

You’ve decided to break up and move on with your life and now, you must do that. Bringing up your past relationship and talking about all the things you went through together won’t do you any good, trust me.

It might only hold you back. You’ll never be able to free yourself from the shackles of the past until you finally leave it right where it belongs, in the past, and stop talking about it once and for all.

Don’t talk about your new relationships

Yes, you’re friends and friends talk about all the spheres of each other’s lives. However, you should always keep in mind that you’re exes who decided to become friends after they ended their relationship.

You just can’t talk about new love and new partners to someone you loved in the past. Trust me, it’ll be the most awkward conversation you ever had.

You both have every right to move on with your lives and to meet new people, but you shouldn’t talk with each other about it.

Admit it, wouldn’t it be too damn awkward and weird to ask your ex-boyfriend for dating advice?

Sapere quando ritirarsi

Nel momento in cui sentite che le vostre emozioni stanno tornando, dovete tirarvi indietro.

Lo stesso vale se vedete che il vostro ex vi sta mandando dei segnali contrastanti e che ha cambiato idea e vuole riconquistarvi.

You must take care of yourself and your own life. Going back and forth with your ex won’t do you any good.

On the contrary, you’ll only be wasting your time, and you could miss something or someone really great because of it.

Quindi, la prima volta che notate che c'è qualcosa che non va e iniziate a dubitare che il vostro ex-partner/nuovo amico abbia cambiato idea su voi due, ritiratevi dalla vostra amicizia e lasciarlo andare per sempre.

Vedi anche: Come affrontare il fatto che la tua migliore amica è amica del tuo ex

The fact is you’ll never become best friends

You can become close friends and you probably will, and I’m saying again: IF your breakup wasn’t awful and nasty, of course. After all, you spent so much time together and you probably know each other best.

However, there will always be some issues between you… some barriers that will never allow you to capirsi come si fa con i migliori amici.

And, you shouldn’t, actually, because that close relationship between you wouldn’t end up well, believe me.

Se ci tenete ancora l'uno all'altra e volete davvero rimanere amici, dovete solo rispettarvi ed essere sempre presenti l'uno per l'altra.

Don’t bad mouth each other because that’s definitely not a path to becoming close friends.

Per concludere

No relationship coach or any other relationship expert can give you the right answer to your question, ‘What does it mean when a guy just wants to be friends after dating?’ It’s a fact.

You know why? Because the answers to this question depend on so many things. Does he still love you, does he still have strong feelings for you, does he want to get you back, was your breakup nasty…

Questi sono solo alcuni elementi che influenzano la risposta alla domanda precedente. You see… Men are just as complicated as women are, but they know how to hide it very well.

Lui potrebbe farlo perché tiene davvero a te e vuole almeno esserti amico, ma potrebbe anche farlo per riconquistarti.

In fin dei conti, le sue ragioni non sono così importanti. La cosa più importante è come vi sentite voi e cosa volete sinceramente.

Prima di prendere una decisione definitiva, ecco alcune regole e cose da sapere sulle amicizie post appuntamento.

Se pensate che questi siano troppo per voi, allora you shouldn’t even try being friends con il vostro ex.

Accepting to remain buddies with your ex-boyfriend would mean that you’ve completely moved on and are ready for a new love. Whichever decision you make, I really hope it’ll make you happy.