Para a rapariga magoada que não consegue perdoar mais uma vez

Independentemente do que alguém nos faça, toda a gente nos aconselha a sermos a pessoa maior e a perdoar.

As pessoas fazem-nos passar por um inferno, do qual temos de encontrar uma saída sozinhos, e depois todos esperam que ultrapassemos isso, como se nada tivesse acontecido.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not talking about giving second chances or letting the people who hurt you back into your life.

I’m talking about the kind act of forgiveness.

Well, when you’re the vítima de abusoQuando a pessoa em quem mais confiava lhe partiu o coração ou o abandonou, é muito mais fácil falar do que fazer.

In fact, in this case, forgiveness looks like mission impossible. It’s not that you’re unaware of its perks.

It’s not that you are deliberately refusing to forget everything that you’ve been through or that you are actively seeking revenge against those who broke your heart and hurt you.

You know everything that should be done. After all, you’ve heard it a million times.

You should forgive the ones who’ve done you harm because it’s the only way towards your personal liberation.

It’s the only way to free yourself from the chains these evil people put on you.

Toda a gente lhe diz que é a única maneira de viver em paz consigo próprio.

Que a capacidade de perdoar é o atributo dos mais fortes entre nós.

Aconselham-no mesmo a aceitar as desculpas que nunca recebeu.

Que perdoar é a única forma de esquecer verdadeiramente o passado e seguir em frente com a sua vida.

People will tell you that you don’t stand a chance against your demons if you hold onto anger.

That you can’t expect to heal and retake control over your life if you hold on to grudges from the past.

Tudo isto é verdade, não há dúvida.

Forgiveness is something you should definitely strive for, despite the magnitude of someone’s misdeeds towards you.

However, what happens when you simply can’t forgive, as much as you try?

What if you don’t have the força para perdoar aqueles que vos fizeram mal, apesar de todos os vossos esforços?

Well, in that case: just don’t.

Sim, ouviram bem: don’t forgive someone unless you feel the need to do so deep inside of you.

Don’t do it because it’s the right thing to do, because others expect you to, or because you want to prove that you are a nicer person than those who ask for your forgiveness.

This is nothing but a sign that you’re still not ready for this merciful act.

It means that you still need time to process and accept everything you’ve been through.

Most importantly – it means that you still haven’t understood your abusers.

You can’t find a reason for their toxic behavior, nor do you have an explanation for it.

And that is perfectly okay. It doesn’t make you weak and it definitely doesn’t make you a bad person.

Lembra-te: you’re the victim here and you’re allowed to feel whatever you might be feeling.

Sim, a bagagem emocional que carrega provavelmente torna a sua vida mais difícil.

However, you can’t forcefully get rid of it if you still feel it’s tied on your chest.

Por favor, don’t feel guilty for your inability to forgive. Don’t judge your pain and let time do its magic.

Don’t forget that we all heal at a different pace.

Therefore, just because it’s taking you longer to reach your goal, it doesn’t mean that you won’t get there.

No entanto, quero que saibam que isto não é permanente.

In fact, I promise you one thing: the moment you have enough strength to forgive whoever broke your heart will come when you’re completely ready for it.

No, you don’t have to give your agressor para o momento que se avizinha.