A la chica herida que no puede perdonar una vez más

No importa lo que alguien te haga, todo el mundo te aconseja que seas la mejor persona y perdones.

La gente te hace pasar por un infierno, del que tienes que salir solo, y luego todo el mundo espera que lo superes, como si no hubiera pasado nada.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not talking about giving second chances or letting the people who hurt you back into your life.

I’m talking about the kind act of forgiveness.

Well, when you’re the víctima de malos tratosPero cuando la persona en la que más confiabas te rompió el corazón o te abandonó, es mucho más fácil decirlo que hacerlo.

In fact, in this case, forgiveness looks like mission impossible. It’s not that you’re unaware of its perks.

It’s not that you are deliberately refusing to forget everything that you’ve been through or that you are actively seeking revenge against those who broke your heart and hurt you.

You know everything that should be done. After all, you’ve heard it a million times.

You should forgive the ones who’ve done you harm because it’s the only way towards your personal liberation.

It’s the only way to free yourself from the chains these evil people put on you.

Todo el mundo te dice que es la única manera de vivir en paz contigo mismo.

Que la capacidad de perdonar es el atributo que tienen los más fuertes entre nosotros.

Incluso te aconsejan que aceptes las disculpas que nunca recibiste.

Que perdonar es la única manera de dejar atrás el pasado y seguir adelante con tu vida.

People will tell you that you don’t stand a chance against your demons if you hold onto anger.

That you can’t expect to heal and retake control over your life if you hold on to grudges from the past.

Todo esto es cierto, no cabe duda.

Forgiveness is something you should definitely strive for, despite the magnitude of someone’s misdeeds towards you.

However, what happens when you simply can’t forgive, as much as you try?

What if you don’t have the fuerza para perdonar aquellos que te han hecho daño, a pesar de todos tus esfuerzos?

Well, in that case: just don’t.

Sí, me has oído bien: don’t forgive someone unless you feel the need to do so deep inside of you.

Don’t do it because it’s the right thing to do, because others expect you to, or because you want to prove that you are a nicer person than those who ask for your forgiveness.

This is nothing but a sign that you’re still not ready for this merciful act.

It means that you still need time to process and accept everything you’ve been through.

Most importantly – it means that you still haven’t understood your abusers.

You can’t find a reason for their toxic behavior, nor do you have an explanation for it.

And that is perfectly okay. It doesn’t make you weak and it definitely doesn’t make you a bad person.

Acuérdate: you’re the victim here and you’re allowed to feel whatever you might be feeling.

Sí, es probable que el equipaje emocional que llevas encima te haga la vida más difícil.

However, you can’t forcefully get rid of it if you still feel it’s tied on your chest.

Así que, por favor, don’t feel guilty for your inability to forgive. Don’t judge your pain and let time do its magic.

Don’t forget that we all heal at a different pace.

Therefore, just because it’s taking you longer to reach your goal, it doesn’t mean that you won’t get there.

Sin embargo, quiero que sepas que esto no es permanente.

In fact, I promise you one thing: the moment you have enough strength to forgive whoever broke your heart will come when you’re completely ready for it.

No, you don’t have to give your abusador un poco de su propia medicina para este momento que se avecina.

You don’t have to seek revenge, nor do you have to enjoy their suffering in order to feel like you got even.

You’ll just wake up one morning and there will be no more bitterness and no more anger.

Just like that, you’ll see that you successfully let go of every negative emotion you had and that is when you’ll be completely cured.