Alla ragazza ferita che non riesce a perdonare ancora una volta

Indipendentemente da ciò che qualcuno vi fa, tutti vi consigliano di essere la persona più grande e di perdonare.

Le persone ti fanno passare l'inferno, da cui devi trovare una via d'uscita da solo, e poi tutti si aspettano che tu lo superi, come se non fosse successo nulla.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not talking about giving second chances or letting the people who hurt you back into your life.

I’m talking about the kind act of forgiveness.

Well, when you’re the vittima di abusiQuando si tratta di tradimenti, pugnalate alle spalle o manipolazioni, o quando la persona di cui ci si fidava di più vi ha spezzato il cuore o vi ha abbandonato, è molto più facile dirlo che farlo.

In fact, in this case, forgiveness looks like mission impossible. It’s not that you’re unaware of its perks.

It’s not that you are deliberately refusing to forget everything that you’ve been through or that you are actively seeking revenge against those who broke your heart and hurt you.

You know everything that should be done. After all, you’ve heard it a million times.

You should forgive the ones who’ve done you harm because it’s the only way towards your personal liberation.

It’s the only way to free yourself from the chains these evil people put on you.

Tutti continuano a dirvi che è l'unico modo per vivere in pace con voi stessi.

Che la capacità di perdonare è l'attributo più forte tra noi.

Vi consigliano persino di accettare le scuse che non avete mai ricevuto.

Che perdonare è l'unico modo per lasciare veramente andare il passato e andare avanti con la propria vita.

People will tell you that you don’t stand a chance against your demons if you hold onto anger.

That you can’t expect to heal and retake control over your life if you hold on to grudges from the past.

Tutto questo è vero, non c'è dubbio.

Forgiveness is something you should definitely strive for, despite the magnitude of someone’s misdeeds towards you.

However, what happens when you simply can’t forgive, as much as you try?

What if you don’t have the la forza di perdonare coloro che vi hanno fatto del male, nonostante tutti i vostri sforzi?

Well, in that case: just don’t.

Sì, avete capito bene: don’t forgive someone unless you feel the need to do so deep inside of you.

Don’t do it because it’s the right thing to do, because others expect you to, or because you want to prove that you are a nicer person than those who ask for your forgiveness.

This is nothing but a sign that you’re still not ready for this merciful act.

It means that you still need time to process and accept everything you’ve been through.

Most importantly – it means that you still haven’t understood your abusers.

You can’t find a reason for their toxic behavior, nor do you have an explanation for it.

And that is perfectly okay. It doesn’t make you weak and it definitely doesn’t make you a bad person.

Ricorda: you’re the victim here and you’re allowed to feel whatever you might be feeling.

Sì, il bagaglio emotivo che vi portate dietro probabilmente vi rende la vita più difficile.

However, you can’t forcefully get rid of it if you still feel it’s tied on your chest.

Quindi, per favore, don’t feel guilty for your inability to forgive. Don’t judge your pain and let time do its magic.

Don’t forget that we all heal at a different pace.

Therefore, just because it’s taking you longer to reach your goal, it doesn’t mean that you won’t get there.

Tuttavia, voglio che sappiate che questo non è permanente.

In fact, I promise you one thing: the moment you have enough strength to forgive whoever broke your heart will come when you’re completely ready for it.

No, you don’t have to give your abusatore un assaggio della loro stessa medicina per questo momento a venire.