Descubra se deve publicar o seu ex nas redes sociais e MUITO mais

A pensar se deve publicar o seu ex nas redes sociais depois de uma separação?

On top of that, you want to make her/him jealous via social media platforms so that they’d want you back?

There is a way to make that happen but first, I’m going to give you a breakdown of whether or not it’s a smart choice to post your ex on your social media accounts.

During heartbreak, the last thing you want is making rash decisions that you’ll regret down the road so don’t try to fazer ciúmes ao seu ex logo à partida.

Faça uma pequena pausa no envio de Tweets provocadores, na publicação de selfies sensuais, nas mensagens de texto ou na atualização constante do seu perfil do Facebook.

Antes de tentar reconquistar o seu ex, tem de organizar os seus pensamentos, dar-se tempo para reavaliar o que precisa e apenas respirar.

Neste artigo, analiso se publicar o seu ex é uma atitude sensata, discuto COMO utilizar as redes sociais para o reconquistar e quando it’s high time to cut ties for good.

Deve publicar o seu ex nas redes sociais?

Em termos simples, não. Não deve, em circunstância alguma, publicar o seu ex nas redes sociais. E a razão é muito simples, na verdade.

The whole point of a break-up is to focus on yourself. No matter what the reasoning for cutting ties was, if it’s over, it’s over.

Isso significa pôr-se a si próprio em primeiro lugar e deixar o passado onde ele pertence. Mesmo que o seu objetivo fosse fazer com que o seu ex o quisesse de volta, isto nunca funcionaria.

Why? Because this move gives them ALL the power. That way, they know they’ve got you where they want you.

Eles sabem que a sua nostalgia está a levar a melhor e podem fazer o que quiserem com isso.

So my simple answer is don’t post pictures with your ex post-break-up. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

There are other ways to stir some jealousy but this isn’t it. If you truly feel like you’re in the right headspace to contemplate getting your ex back, I strongly encourage you to keep reading.

Abaixo, partilho dicas e truques on using social media to your advantage after the break-up and I also discuss WHEN it’s the right time to unfriend your ex once and for all.

Se procura conselhos cuidadosamente pensados sobre tudo o que diz respeito às redes sociais e aos ex, desloque-se para baixo e tome nota.

Como fazer com que a tua ex te queira de volta, deixando-a com ciúmes?

Publicar uma fotografia sensual com um amigo do sexo oposto para provocar ciúmes

This can be truly innocent. It can be a really good friend (who your ex has never met—even better) who just happens to look great.

Go out, take a cute selfie (or ten) and choose the best one. Don’t be too obvious with the hashtag as then your ex will know it’s entirely about them and that beats the purpose.

Em vez disso, escreva algo do género 1TP5Viver a minha melhor vida e não se esqueça de sorrir como se a sua vida dependesse disso.

O seu ex vai aperceber-se disso sem qualquer sombra de dúvida.

Pode apostar que a mente deles vai andar a cem milhas por hora a tentar perceber se conhecem essa pessoa e qual é a natureza da vossa relação.

And that’s all you could want. It might not get him back instantly but it’ll definitely make them pay closer attention.

Informe os seus seguidores nas redes sociais sobre os seus novos e empolgantes empreendimentos

Começou um novo emprego? Vai para o estrangeiro durante alguns meses? Foi promovido? Informe o seu pessoal!

It’s not embarrassing posting about your exciting, new accomplishments.

As pessoas publicam sem parar sobre a sua comida e sobre cada um dos seus pensamentos, por isso nunca se sinta mal por se gabar.

Confie em mim, o seu ex vai sentir-se mal por não estar presente para ficar feliz por si pessoalmente.

Or if you ended it on bad terms, they’ll be beating themselves up when they see your amazing news.

Either way, it’ll affect them one way or another. Either they’ll contact you to say congrats, which will encourage a conversation, or they’ll reach out to find out more.

Either way, it’s a step forward that could lead toward your desired outcome. Just don’t expect a miracle prematurely. Step by step and you’ll get there.

Ver também: Desaparecer das redes sociais depois de uma separação (tudo o que precisa de saber)

Take a vacay with your crew and don’t skimp on the photos!

Porquê publicar o seu ex nas redes sociais se pode publicar a sua equipa fantástica e solidária durante uma escapadela divertida?

I bet you’re due an unforgettable trip with your best friends so why not trate de si e faça a sua alma feliz?

It’ll help you unwind, live your best life and take TONS of photos.

And you know who the first person to notice (and be jealous about it) will be. That’s right; your ex! Let them see all the fun you’re having.

Mostrem todas as vossas aventuras, publiquem APENAS hashtags alegres e positivas e, em vez de amargura, mostrem apenas positividade!

There’s nothing like ser feliz sem eles.

And sometimes, people need to see that the world doesn’t revolve around them. It might just encourage them to hit you up.

And then, it’s totally up to you how the rest of it unfolds.

Resistir ao impulso de lhes enviar DM ou responder aos seus comentários

At one point, you’re going to see a window to DM them. They’ll post about something that really tickles your fancy and you’ll see it as a great chance to start talking. But don’t.

It’s not necessarily about completely losing touch; it’s about taking back the power. Your ex knows what they’re doing. They know what post will intrigue you.

Don’t let them see they can get to you so easily. Don’t fall in that trap.

Se conseguir não morder o isco, o seu ex não terá outra opção senão contactá-lo diretamente, se esse era o seu objetivo inicial.

You want to be the one who’s chased, right? So let them do whatever they want and just live your happy life. If they see that you’re too happy to pay attention, it’ll bug them.

Depois, a única forma de iniciar uma conversa será se eles a iniciarem. Um pouco de contenção vai longe.

Like and leave cute comments on their best friend’s photos

Again, this doesn’t mean that you’re making a move or anything; you’re simply being a little sultry and provocative. So what?

You have every right to like posts and write whatever you want. And if you just happen to really, really dig his/her BFF’s new post, what’s wrong with being vocal about it?

It won’t mean anything but it’ll really gnaw at them.

Porque estás a comentar as fotos deles? De repente, estás amigo da melhor amiga dela? Passa-se alguma coisa entre vocês os dois?

It’ll definitely catch their attention and make them want to clear the air. And the whole idea is to make them jealous, right?

Então, o que é que nos diz que um simples comentário ou um simples "like" pode deixá-los frenéticos?

People who don’t care about you wouldn’t care about these silly things.

If they make this into a thing, there’s still a chance for you after all.

Tag yourself when you’re in their neck of the woods but don’t ask to meet

Here’s another cute way to get their attention. Next time you visit their neighborhood for whatever reason, leave the geotag on.

It could be a supermarket run, visiting a friend, going to the doctor’s office or any other reason.

Make sure that your location is visible and don’t mention that you’ll be nearby.

When they see that you’re so close, trust me, they’ll be wondering what on earth you’re doing there. And better yet, why haven’t you hit them up?

And leave it that way. Don’t call, don’t text and don’t tell anyone what you’re doing there. Let your ex’s imagination run wild.

They might just think you’re there to visit them but when there’s no sign of you, they’ll start thinking about who else you know nearby.

And just like that, you’ll occupy your ex’s mind. Without doing or saying anything at all. That’s what I call being sneaky AF.

Parecer mais feliz do que nunca em selfies com amigos em comum

Hopefully, you’ve got a few mutual friends between you two. If you get a chance, hit them up for a hangout session sometime soon.

Ir ao cinema, sair à noite, tomar um café ou escolher qualquer outra aventura. Falar sobre tudo e mais alguma coisa, menos sobre o ex.

Dessa forma, quando lhes perguntarem se estava a ser intrometido na vida deles (e eles vontade perguntar) a resposta ser-lhe-á benéfica.

E outra coisa: tire selfies giras, pareça feliz e esteja à vontade para as publicar nas suas plataformas de redes sociais.

They’re your friends too. Why shouldn’t you be happy?

It’ll be a big blow for them when they see you happy without them, especially with mutual friends.

Nostalgia will hit and they’ll probably reminisce about the beautiful times you all had together.

Now it’s all gone. But is it really? It doesn’t have to be and they might just realize that too.

Leave clues that you’re on the lookout for a new relationship

But never be too obvious. Just enough to let them know you’re looking.

The thing is, it doesn’t have to be true but if your ex starts thinking that you’re ready to seguir em frente deles, isso pode fazê-los sentir-se de alguma forma.

A little white lie never hurt anybody. Plus, this isn’t really a lie. It’s a hint. And if it makes your ex take notice, I’m all for it.

Fazer algo que foi adiando enquanto estavam juntos

Provavelmente, tinha um milhão de planos que nunca foram concretizados, como fazer uma viagem a Itália, visitar a sua cidade natal ou ir acampar algures na natureza.

So here’s what you can do; go do that thing all by yourself! You can even do it with your bestie.

There’s no time like the present. And if you really want to do something, why wouldn’t you?

Just because it was a plan a long time ago with an ex? I don’t think so.

Faça as suas malas, tome as providências e vá viver a sua vida.

Sure, it’ll make your ex super jealous that they’re not your travel buddy.

It’s likely going to hit them hard that you took someone else. And that’s great!

Ver-vos felizes num lugar que era suposto estar reservado para vocês os dois será o chamada de atenção que precisavam.

Fazer a única coisa que sabes que te deixaria louco de inveja

Você sabe melhor do que ninguém o que a faria enlouquecer neste momento em relação ao seu ex.

You don’t need a relationship expert to tell you how your ex could make you jealous AF.

Pense bem no que eles podem fazer neste momento que o iria perturbar e faça-o você mesmo.

Isto irá certamente captar a sua atenção. Porque não utilizar os seus sentimentos em seu benefício?

Ficaria aborrecido se o seu ex publicasse uma fotografia com o seu melhor amigo, de quem sempre sentiu que ele era demasiado próximo?

Talvez fosse passar a noite toda numa discoteca a fazer sabe-se lá o quê?

Deixe a sua imaginação fazer o seu trabalho e ajude-se a si próprio fazer ciúmes ao seu ex como um louco. Se sabe o que o desencadeia, é provável que o mesmo aconteça com o seu ex.

Major Dos & Don’ts Of Using Social Media Post-Break Up

DON’T stalk your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend no matter what

This is one ‘sin’ a LOT of us are guilty of at some point after a break-up. You promise yourself that you won’t but you just ter para.

You just need to know what they’re up to and where they are. Are they as sad as you are?

Têm saído sem parar? Estão sozinhos ou rodeados de amigos?

Mas oiçam-me. Whatever you end up finding out will not help you in any way. It won’t make you feel better.

It won’t make the pain go away. And it won’t make things easier.

Perseguir ex-namorados depois de uma separação é a pior ideia de sempre. Sei-o em primeira mão.

Depois de me ter envolvido numa perseguição há alguns anos atrás, descobri que o meu ex tinha estado a passar algum tempo com a sua ex-namorada.

E sabem como me fiz sentir? Como uma porcaria. Inadequada. Como se ele tivesse acabado comigo só para voltar para ela.

Por isso, pare agora mesmo e agradeça a si próprio mais tarde.

DON’T be unnerved when you sense their posts are about you

We can all get a little petty sometimes, especially if a break-up was acrimonious. After all, we’re only human.

However, the moment you sense that some of their posts are actually a dig at you, don’t be unnerved.

That will be the best revenge. What they want is for you to react. So don’t.

You’ll know if the post was meant for you or not and you can react privately however you need. But never show them your reaction.

It’ll bug them like hell. How can you be so indifferent? How do their words not affect you?

However, the thing is, of course you’re going to feel something. The difference is that you’re not going to let it show.

That’s a classy thing to do and it’s a sign of maturity.

If your ex won’t take the high road, you will. It’ll feel a million times better than stooping to their level.

DON’T add any of her/his (fe)male friends or new partner on social media

This is a big mistake. Huge. But on a more serious note, really, don’t do it.

It’ll be so obvious what you’re trying to do and again, it’ll bring you zero comfort.

And the worst part? They probably won’t even accept it, which will suck even worse. So don’t put yourself in this position.

O seu ex tem a sua própria vida, como é seu direito, mas, por outro lado, você também tem.

O que esperas deles, que fiquem em casa de coração partido a chorar por ti?

Lamento, mas as pessoas precisam de seguir em frente com as suas vidas.

Podem voltar a aproximar-se de si ou afastar-se o mais possível de si, mas ficar estagnado não é uma opção.

So don’t add any people from his life. It’ll seem really bad and it’ll be just as uncomfortable for you as it will for your ex.

FAÇA uma pequena pausa nas suas plataformas de redes sociais

Uma coisa que descobri que me trouxe mais paz depois da minha terrível separação foi uma desintoxicação das redes sociais, muito necessária.

After ending things, people tend to go on a social media rampage; posting more than ever, taking hot selfies, writing statuses that are obviously aimed at their ex… but to what avail?

At the end of the day, you’re only going to feel embarrassed about it once you’ve moved on so why not take this step and move away from all the drama?

Se o seu objetivo final é a cura e a possibilidade de ter um passado limpo (em qualquer direção), precisa de dar um passo atrás.

Put all this behind you and promise yourself that you won’t touch your Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat for at least a week. Moreover, deactivate them altogether.

After some time away from your devices, you’ll see how good and healthy life can be.

Viver a sua vida real em vez de ser mesquinho na Internet é o melhor remédio para ter a cabeça limpa.

DON’T make posts that are a clear dig at your ex

If you realize that you just can’t stay away, okay, we can work with that too. But whatever you do, do NOT post your ex.

That’s the first step. And can you guess what the second one is? Do not post ABOUT your ex. Put the ex-files in a deep drawer and lock it.

Esqueça que a gaveta existe e viva como se nunca tivesse sabido da sua existência.

And one day, you’ll just realize that you’ve actually been really happy, totally forgetting about wanting to blast them online.

People know exactly what your post means and who it’s aimed at.

And it’s not a good look. Raging post-break-up can be avoided if you can just train yourself to focus on the positives.

Sair para a natureza. Fazer uma caminhada com o teu melhor amigo e o seu cão (se tiver um). Começar um novo passatempo. Leia bons livros. Ligue aos seus amigos.

These will take up so much of your time that you’ll forget all about wanting to stoop so low. It’s honestly the most counterproductive thing you can do.

Vive a tua vida sem ser incomodado e chora com os teus amigos em privado sempre que precisares. Mas misturar a tua raiva com as redes sociais é um grande não.

Estabelecer um período de não contacto, ou seja, nada de conversas nas redes sociais

There are some exes out there who make a pact to stay friends. For me, it’s not really an option but hey, if someone can make it work, good for them.

My advice to you is if you’re still feeling raw, sad and confused and you want them back, by all means, go for a no-contact period.

Precisas disso mais do que imaginas. Manter a amizade com alguém por quem ainda se tem sentimentos profundos é muito doloroso.

You’re going to lie to yourself that you’re totally fine but you won’t be.

Instagram comments you leave each other won’t help matters one bit. DM-ing about something totally random will make you feel as if there’s still hope.

Por isso, cortar o fio é muito importante para se ter a oportunidade de ficar bem.

Don’t delude yourself; it’s over. Things may change at some point but not right now so cut them off completely, and don’t engage in any type of conversation.

It’ll be like tiny cuts all over your body.

DON’T post about every single thing that happens in your life

Live your own life and resist the urge to let everyone know what you’re up to 24/7. A little mystery is always a healthy choice.

Don’t try to get your ex’s attention by being online all the time.

Don’t think that just because they know where you currently are, they’ll rush to you and ask to get back together.

These things don’t even happen in the movies. So take the high road.

Leave social media be and live your life for yourself. You don’t need an audience.

I promise that after a while, things will get better but first, you need to weather this storm. Take it one day at a time and don’t push yourself too hard.

If you don’t feel like doing anything special today, that’s fine. Just don’t write a sad status and don’t post any dramatic quotes.

You’ll be fine eventually. And remember, it’s always dark before the dawn.

Publicar sobre os seus regimes de auto-cuidado que sejam inspiradores e edificantes

If you’ve found some inspiring hobby that helps you move past all the heartbreak, definitely post about that!

As pessoas adoram mensagens animadoras orientadas para o autocuidado.

Perhaps you’ve discovered yoga, you’ve started using new products that have been doing wonders for your skin or there’s a new gym that you swear by.

É um tema sobre o qual pode escrever: a sua viagem para a felicidade interior e como lá chegar.

It’s not about your ex, it’s about you encontrar-se a si próprio de novo!

Isto é definitivamente algo digno do Instagram.

It’ll inspire your followers, help someone during their struggle and bring you closer together to your community. What more could you ask for?

Positivity should always outweigh negativity. It’s so easy staying in your dark, gloomy bubble and refusing to find a glimmer of hope.

Mas tudo o que é preciso é apenas uma coisa. Uma razão para se levantar e continuar com o seu dia.

That one thing has the power to turn into two, three, ten little things and before you know it, you’ll be genuinely okay.

Dar o primeiro passo é o mais difícil, mas é sem dúvida o mais gratificante.

DON’T leave nasty comments on their posts

Se os vir a publicar uma fotografia com um novo "squeeze", não comente: Wow, it really didn’t take you long to replace me.

If you see them post a happy status, also don’t comment saying anything that’ll allude to how they treated you. It may suck but being nasty online can only worsen things—and fast.

Para além disso, para o mundo exterior (leia-se: os seus amigos online), you’ll appear as the villain in this story, while they’ll be the victim.

And we all know that’s far from the truth. So whatever nasty thing you’re tempted to write, just don’t. It’ll feel good for a brief second, then it’ll suck for much longer.

Aproveite esta oportunidade para conhecer novas pessoas e alargar o seu círculo

Isto pode ser uma verdadeira bênção disfarçada. Se receberes um novo pedido de amizade, aceita-o!

This could be someone you just recently met at the gym or a friend of a friend. Either way, it’s a great opportunity to meet some new people and shift your focus from all this negativity.

And honestly, you never know when life’s about to surprise you with someone who’ll become really important to you.

So broaden your horizons and take any opportunity you get to expand your circle. What’s the worst that can happen?

Quando é que é altura de deixar de ser amigo do seu ex de uma vez por todas?

Quando ver a cara deles a aparecer nas redes sociais nos faz sentir miseráveis

This is when you know that unfollowing them is a must. Your social media feed shouldn’t bring you anxiety.

Browsing through your feed shouldn’t make you worrisome about seeing something that could break your heart in half.

Do yourself a favor and press delete. You’ll still sentir a sua falta and wonder what they’re up to but at least you won’t keep seeing them all the time and that’s vital.

Para se curar de uma separação, precisa de se afastar da pessoa durante algum tempo. E como é que isso é possível se a cara dele continua a aparecer nas suas plataformas de redes sociais?

When you feel the urge to contact them, knowing you SHOULDN’T

Every time you go online, you try to create an excuse to contact them. Any little reason that won’t seem obvious.

But the thing is… it will be obvious.

If you know that you shouldn’t contact them but you fear that your weakness could get the better of you, I have two words for you. Deixar de ser amigo deles.

Queres sentir-te melhor? Quer deixar de estar tão obcecado por eles?

Está farto e cansado de se sentir tentado a enviar-lhes uma mensagem todos os dias? Então já sabe o que tem de fazer.

Hitting ‘unfriend’ will feel like a thousand knives through your chest but once you do it, it’ll be over and done with.

When all you want to do is add all of their friends to see what they’re up to

Sempre que vê o seu ex a sair com os amigos dele, precisa de saber mais. E como é que isso pode ser feito? Adicionando-os.

Mas deve fazê-lo? Absolutamente não. De facto, no momento em que estiver quase a carregar no botão "adicionar amigo", desligue-se imediatamente.

What’s the point in doing that? Hurting yourself even more?

Quando a tentação de adicionar todas as pessoas com quem o seu ex está associado se sobrepõe à sua mente sã, tem de deixar de ser amigo delas.

Don’t let your current weakness win. You’re better than that.

Quando o vê com um novo parceiro o faz lembrar-se da sua relação passada

Your ex has a new partner and it’s profoundly painful seeing them together.

Every time they post a cute photo, your nostalgia kicks in and you’re reminded of how that used to be you.

Quanto mais os vires, menos bem estarás.

Isto só vai prolongar o processo de cura. Todas as fotografias e estados de felicidade vão deteriorar o seu processo de cura.

How can you put an end to that? By choosing to no longer be their online friend. There really isn’t a reason for that anymore.

When they post about ‘finally’ being with the right person (you don’t need that kind of negativity)

This will be the hardest pill to swallow; knowing that your ex can post whatever they want and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Don’t be surprised when they post a nasty status such as: ‘So, this is what it’s like when you’re finally with the right person’.

It’ll hurt like hell. You’ll know that this is a dig at you. You’ll feel the need to reply and be merciless while crying on the inside.

Mas sabem que mais? Porque é que o deveria fazer? As discussões online são infantis, imaturas e inúteis.

If you don’t want to let them magoar-vos, basta apagá-los agora mesmo! What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

When you still haven’t healed from the break-up

It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay if you’re still picking up your pieces. There is no time limit on heartbreak.

Nobody gets to tell you to just get over it. It’ll take you as long as it takes.

But do you know what’s really important during this time? Admitting to yourself that keeping your ex on your friend list is anything but a healthy choice.

For as long as you’re on shaky ground emotionally, you don’t need their presence.

Maybe one day you’ll be ready to be (online) friends again but today is probably not that day.

When you realize that if you don’t, you’ll never really get over them

Which brings me to my next point. After having admitted to yourself that you’re still too messed up to see them on your feed, it’s time for another bitter pill.

Deep down, you know you’ll never heal if you don’t move away from them, both physically and virtually.

Se queres recuperar o teu ex, primeiro tens de chegar a um ponto saudável. E deixar de ser amigo dele, por enquanto, é uma obrigação.

Who knows, maybe in a few months’ time, you’ll be a brand new person who can handle it better. But now, do what’s best for you.

Quando a sua autoestima está em baixo

You’ve never felt more sorry for yourself. You’ve never felt less important or attractive. You fear that no one will ever want you again.

E, no entanto, manténs o teu ex na tua lista de amigos? The one who’s (at least partially) to blame for the way you’re feeling right now?

I don’t think I need to go any further. Whatever happened between you two, it’s clear that it has affected you mentally and emotionally.

You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Your worth is not based on what your ex thinks of you!

When you realize that it’s time to move on without looking back

One day, you’ll finally realize that it’s high time to move on and nunca olhar para trás. The past is in the past and what’s done is done.

Your past relationship doesn’t define you and you sure as hell won’t allow yourself to dwell in negativity any longer.

Por isso, é imperativo deixar de ser amigo dessa pessoa para ter uma vida mais feliz.

Luckily, at this point, it won’t be as hard anymore. It’ll be a natural next step toward betterment.

It might sting every now and again but with each passing day, you’ll be better.

And ultimately, that’s all you could wish for.

Quando se conhece alguém que nos ajuda a ver a luz ao fundo do túnel

No matter how gloomy it might seem right now, one day you’re going to meet someone new. And this person will help you see your worth again.

You’ll realize that your tough break-up was just a part of life that sucked profoundly but it needed to happen so that you can grow.

Today, you’re happier and much, much stronger for it. You went through a lot of pain and you came out the other end. Congrats!

And the final step toward being truly okay again is unfriending the person who made you feel like you weren’t enough.

Now, you’re finally with someone who knows how to treat you.

Isto significa que manter o seu ex na sua lista de amigos é a coisa mais distante da sua mente.

Clique no botão "unfriend" o mais depressa possível e vá para onde a sua nova felicidade o levar.

Considerações finais

As separações são uma chatice. Quer tenhas sido tu a iniciá-la ou não, seguir em frente nunca é tão simples como gostarias que fosse.

Therefore, considering whether or not to post your ex in a desperate attempt to get their attention isn’t that crazy.

Don’t feel bad about feeling nostalgic, wanting to meet up and thinking of texting them. You’re only human.

Just last night, I was experiencing one of the more challenging nights wondering whether I should reply to my ex’s Snapchat or not. And do you know what I figured out?

It’s all up to you and your journey. If you feel confident that you’ve healed from last year’s break-up, why the hell not?

But if you’re still reminiscing in your head about the last time they kissed you, perhaps it’s time to hit the brakes.

I’ve shared with you my foolproof tips on getting your ex back and figuring it all out and I hope you’ll know how to use them wisely.

After all, you know your own heart and you’re the only one who knows what the smart move is. So, good luck and keep pushing forward. You’ve got this.