Averigüe si debe publicar a su ex en las redes sociales y MUCHO más

Me pregunto si debería publicar tu ex en las redes sociales tras la ruptura?

On top of that, you want to make her/him jealous via social media platforms so that they’d want you back?

There is a way to make that happen but first, I’m going to give you a breakdown of whether or not it’s a smart choice to post your ex on your social media accounts.

During heartbreak, the last thing you want is making rash decisions that you’ll regret down the road so don’t try to pon celosa a tu ex de buenas a primeras.

Tómate un breve descanso de enviar tuits provocativos, publicar selfies sensuales, enviarle mensajes de texto o actualizar constantemente tu perfil de Facebook.

Antes de trabajar en recuperar a tu ex, necesitas ordenar tus pensamientos, darte tiempo para reevaluar lo que necesitas y simplemente respira.

En este artículo, hablo sobre si publicar a tu ex es una decisión inteligente, discuto CÓMO usar las redes sociales para recuperarlos y cuando it’s high time to cut ties for good.

¿Deberías publicar a tu ex en las redes sociales?

En pocas palabras, no. Bajo ninguna circunstancia deberías publicar a tu ex en las redes sociales. Y la razón es bastante simple, en realidad.

The whole point of a break-up is to focus on yourself. No matter what the reasoning for cutting ties was, if it’s over, it’s over.

Eso significa ponerte a ti primero y dejar el pasado donde pertenece. Aunque tu objetivo fuera conseguir que tu ex volviera a quererte, esto nunca funcionaría.

Why? Because this move gives them ALL the power. That way, they know they’ve got you where they want you.

Saben que tu nostalgia se apodera de ti y pueden hacer lo que les plazca con eso.

So my simple answer is don’t post pictures with your ex post-break-up. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

There are other ways to stir some jealousy but this isn’t it. If you truly feel like you’re in the right headspace to contemplate getting your ex back, I strongly encourage you to keep reading.

A continuación, comparto trucos y consejos on using social media to your advantage after the break-up and I also discuss WHEN it’s the right time to unfriend your ex once and for all.

Si buscas consejos bien pensados sobre todo lo relacionado con las redes sociales y los ex, desplázate hacia abajo y toma nota.

¿Cómo hacer que tu ex te quiera de vuelta poniéndola celosa?

Publica una foto caliente con un amigo del sexo opuesto para despertar algunos celos

This can be truly innocent. It can be a really good friend (who your ex has never met—even better) who just happens to look great.

Go out, take a cute selfie (or ten) and choose the best one. Don’t be too obvious with the hashtag as then your ex will know it’s entirely about them and that beats the purpose.

En su lugar, escriba algo parecido a 1TP5Vivir mi mejor vida y asegúrate de sonreír como si tu vida dependiera de ello.

Tu ex lo notará sin ninguna duda.

Puedes apostar a que su mente irá a cien por hora intentando discernir si conoce a esta persona y cuál es la naturaleza de vuestra relación.

And that’s all you could want. It might not get him back instantly but it’ll definitely make them pay closer attention.

Informa a tus seguidores en las redes sociales de tus nuevos y emocionantes proyectos.

¿Ha empezado un nuevo trabajo? ¿Te vas unos meses al extranjero? ¿Te han ascendido? ¡Házselo saber a tu gente!

It’s not embarrassing posting about your exciting, new accomplishments.

La gente escribe sin parar sobre su comida y sus pensamientos, así que no te sientas mal por alardear de ti mismo.

Créeme, tu ex se sentirá mal por no estar ahí para alegrarse por ti en persona.

Or if you ended it on bad terms, they’ll be beating themselves up when they see your amazing news.

Either way, it’ll affect them one way or another. Either they’ll contact you to say congrats, which will encourage a conversation, or they’ll reach out to find out more.

Either way, it’s a step forward that could lead toward your desired outcome. Just don’t expect a miracle prematurely. Step by step and you’ll get there.

Véase también: Desaparecer de las redes sociales tras una ruptura (todo lo que necesitas saber)

Take a vacay with your crew and don’t skimp on the photos!

¿Por qué publicar a tu ex en las redes sociales si puedes publicar a tu increíble y solidario equipo mientras disfrutan de una divertida escapada?

I bet you’re due an unforgettable trip with your best friends so why not date un capricho y alegra tu alma?

It’ll help you unwind, live your best life and take TONS of photos.

And you know who the first person to notice (and be jealous about it) will be. That’s right; your ex! Let them see all the fun you’re having.

Muestra todas las aventuras que vivas, publica SOLO hashtags felices y positivos y, en lugar de amargura, ¡muestra solo positividad!

There’s nothing like ser feliz sin ellos.

And sometimes, people need to see that the world doesn’t revolve around them. It might just encourage them to hit you up.

And then, it’s totally up to you how the rest of it unfolds.

Resiste la tentación de enviarles un DM o responder a sus comentarios.

At one point, you’re going to see a window to DM them. They’ll post about something that really tickles your fancy and you’ll see it as a great chance to start talking. But don’t.

It’s not necessarily about completely losing touch; it’s about taking back the power. Your ex knows what they’re doing. They know what post will intrigue you.

Don’t let them see they can get to you so easily. Don’t fall in that trap.

Si consigues contenerte y no picar el anzuelo, tu ex no tendrá más remedio que ponerse en contacto contigo directamente, si ese era su objetivo inicial.

You want to be the one who’s chased, right? So let them do whatever they want and just live your happy life. If they see that you’re too happy to pay attention, it’ll bug them.

Entonces, la única forma de entablar una conversación será si ellos la inician. Un poco de moderación hace mucho.

Like and leave cute comments on their best friend’s photos

Again, this doesn’t mean that you’re making a move or anything; you’re simply being a little sultry and provocative. So what?

You have every right to like posts and write whatever you want. And if you just happen to really, really dig his/her BFF’s new post, what’s wrong with being vocal about it?

It won’t mean anything but it’ll really gnaw at them.

¿Por qué comentas sus fotos? ¿De repente eres amigo de su mejor amiga? ¿Ocurre algo entre vosotros?

It’ll definitely catch their attention and make them want to clear the air. And the whole idea is to make them jealous, right?

Entonces, ¿qué te dice que un simple comentario o un "me gusta" pueda ponerles frenéticos?

People who don’t care about you wouldn’t care about these silly things.

If they make this into a thing, there’s still a chance for you after all.

Tag yourself when you’re in their neck of the woods but don’t ask to meet

Here’s another cute way to get their attention. Next time you visit their neighborhood for whatever reason, leave the geotag on.

It could be a supermarket run, visiting a friend, going to the doctor’s office or any other reason.

Make sure that your location is visible and don’t mention that you’ll be nearby.

When they see that you’re so close, trust me, they’ll be wondering what on earth you’re doing there. And better yet, why haven’t you hit them up?

And leave it that way. Don’t call, don’t text and don’t tell anyone what you’re doing there. Let your ex’s imagination run wild.

They might just think you’re there to visit them but when there’s no sign of you, they’ll start thinking about who else you know nearby.

And just like that, you’ll occupy your ex’s mind. Without doing or saying anything at all. That’s what I call being sneaky AF.

Parecer más feliz que nunca en los selfies con amigos comunes

Hopefully, you’ve got a few mutual friends between you two. If you get a chance, hit them up for a hangout session sometime soon.

Ir al cine, salir una noche, ir a tomar un café o elegir cualquier otra aventura. Habla de todo menos de tu ex.

Así, cuando les pregunten si estabas siendo entrometido en su vida (y ellos se pregunta) la respuesta será beneficiosa para ti.

Y otra cosa: hazte bonitos selfies, muéstrate feliz y no dudes en publicarlos en tus redes sociales.

They’re your friends too. Why shouldn’t you be happy?

It’ll be a big blow for them when they see you happy without them, especially with mutual friends.

Nostalgia will hit and they’ll probably reminisce about the beautiful times you all had together.

Now it’s all gone. But is it really? It doesn’t have to be and they might just realize that too.

Leave clues that you’re on the lookout for a new relationship

But never be too obvious. Just enough to let them know you’re looking.

The thing is, it doesn’t have to be true but if your ex starts thinking that you’re ready to seguir adelante de ellos, podría hacerles sentir de alguna manera.

A little white lie never hurt anybody. Plus, this isn’t really a lie. It’s a hint. And if it makes your ex take notice, I’m all for it.

Haz algo que seguías posponiendo mientras estabais juntos

Seguro que tenías un millón de planes que nunca llegaste a cumplir, como hacer un viaje a Italia, visitar su ciudad natal o irte de acampada a algún paraje salvaje.

So here’s what you can do; go do that thing all by yourself! You can even do it with your bestie.

There’s no time like the present. And if you really want to do something, why wouldn’t you?

Just because it was a plan a long time ago with an ex? I don’t think so.

Haz las maletas, prepárate y vete a vivir tu vida.

Sure, it’ll make your ex super jealous that they’re not your travel buddy.

It’s likely going to hit them hard that you took someone else. And that’s great!

Verte feliz en un lugar que se suponía reservado para vosotros dos será la llamada de atención que necesitaban.

Haz lo que sabes que te volvería loco de celos

Tú sabes mejor que nadie lo que te haría enloquecer en estos momentos con respecto a tu ex.

You don’t need a relationship expert to tell you how your ex could make you jealous AF.

Piensa bien qué pueden hacer ahora mismo que te disgustaría y hazlo tú mismo.

Seguro que les llama la atención. ¿Por qué no utilizar sus propios sentimientos en su beneficio?

¿Te molestaría que tu ex publicara una foto con su mejor amigo, al que siempre has sentido demasiado unido?

¿Tal vez sería pasar toda la noche en un club haciendo Dios sabe qué?

Deja volar tu imaginación y ayúdate a ti mismo pon celosa a tu ex como un loco. Si sabes lo que te haría enloquecer, lo más probable es que le ocurra lo mismo a tu ex.

Major Dos & Don’ts Of Using Social Media Post-Break Up

DON’T stalk your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend no matter what

This is one ‘sin’ a LOT of us are guilty of at some point after a break-up. You promise yourself that you won’t but you just tienen a.

You just need to know what they’re up to and where they are. Are they as sad as you are?

¿Salen sin parar? ¿Están solos o rodeados de amigos?

Pero escúchame. Whatever you end up finding out will not help you in any way. It won’t make you feel better.

It won’t make the pain go away. And it won’t make things easier.

Acechar a los ex después de una ruptura es la peor idea del mundo. Lo sé de primera mano.

Hace unos años, después de acosarme un poco, descubrí que mi ex había estado pasando tiempo con su ex novia.

¿Y sabes cómo me hizo sentir? Como una mierda. Inadecuado. Como si hubiera roto conmigo sólo para volver con ella.

Así que detente ahora mismo y te lo agradecerás más tarde.

DON’T be unnerved when you sense their posts are about you

We can all get a little petty sometimes, especially if a break-up was acrimonious. After all, we’re only human.

However, the moment you sense that some of their posts are actually a dig at you, don’t be unnerved.

That will be the best revenge. What they want is for you to react. So don’t.

You’ll know if the post was meant for you or not and you can react privately however you need. But never show them your reaction.

It’ll bug them like hell. How can you be so indifferent? How do their words not affect you?

However, the thing is, of course you’re going to feel something. The difference is that you’re not going to let it show.

That’s a classy thing to do and it’s a sign of maturity.

If your ex won’t take the high road, you will. It’ll feel a million times better than stooping to their level.

DON’T add any of her/his (fe)male friends or new partner on social media

This is a big mistake. Huge. But on a more serious note, really, don’t do it.

It’ll be so obvious what you’re trying to do and again, it’ll bring you zero comfort.

And the worst part? They probably won’t even accept it, which will suck even worse. So don’t put yourself in this position.

Tu ex tiene su propia vida, está en su derecho, pero tú también.

¿Qué esperas de ellos, que se queden en casa con el corazón roto llorando por ti?

Lo siento, pero la gente tiene que seguir adelante con sus vidas.

Pueden retroceder hacia ti o alejarse de ti todo lo posible, pero permanecer estancados no es una opción.

So don’t add any people from his life. It’ll seem really bad and it’ll be just as uncomfortable for you as it will for your ex.

Tómate un breve descanso de tus redes sociales

Una de las cosas que me trajo más paz después de mi horrible ruptura fue una muy necesaria desintoxicación de las redes sociales.

After ending things, people tend to go on a social media rampage; posting more than ever, taking hot selfies, writing statuses that are obviously aimed at their ex… but to what avail?

At the end of the day, you’re only going to feel embarrassed about it once you’ve moved on so why not take this step and move away from all the drama?

Si tu objetivo final es curarte y poder hacer borrón y cuenta nueva (en la dirección que sea), tienes que dar un paso atrás.

Put all this behind you and promise yourself that you won’t touch your Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat for at least a week. Moreover, deactivate them altogether.

After some time away from your devices, you’ll see how good and healthy life can be.

Vivir tu vida real en lugar de ser mezquino en línea es la mejor medicina para tener la cabeza despejada.

DON’T make posts that are a clear dig at your ex

If you realize that you just can’t stay away, okay, we can work with that too. But whatever you do, do NOT post your ex.

That’s the first step. And can you guess what the second one is? Do not post ABOUT your ex. Put the ex-files in a deep drawer and lock it.

Olvídate de que el cajón existe y vive como si nunca lo hubieras conocido.

And one day, you’ll just realize that you’ve actually been really happy, totally forgetting about wanting to blast them online.

People know exactly what your post means and who it’s aimed at.

And it’s not a good look. Raging post-break-up can be avoided if you can just train yourself to focus on the positives.

Salga a la naturaleza. Haz una excursión con tu mejor amigo y a tu perro (si lo tienes). Practica un nuevo hobby. Lee buenos libros. Llama a tus amigos.

These will take up so much of your time that you’ll forget all about wanting to stoop so low. It’s honestly the most counterproductive thing you can do.

Vive tu vida sin molestar y llora a los tuyos en privado siempre que lo necesites. Pero mezclar tu rabia con las redes sociales es un gran no.

Establece un periodo de no contacto, es decir, NO hables en las redes sociales.

There are some exes out there who make a pact to stay friends. For me, it’s not really an option but hey, if someone can make it work, good for them.

My advice to you is if you’re still feeling raw, sad and confused and you want them back, by all means, go for a no-contact period.

Lo necesitas más de lo que crees. Seguir siendo amigo de alguien por quien aún sientes algo muy profundo es doloroso.

You’re going to lie to yourself that you’re totally fine but you won’t be.

Instagram comments you leave each other won’t help matters one bit. DM-ing about something totally random will make you feel as if there’s still hope.

Así que cortar el cordón es realmente importante para darte la oportunidad de estar realmente bien.

Don’t delude yourself; it’s over. Things may change at some point but not right now so cut them off completely, and don’t engage in any type of conversation.

It’ll be like tiny cuts all over your body.

DON’T post about every single thing that happens in your life

Live your own life and resist the urge to let everyone know what you’re up to 24/7. A little mystery is always a healthy choice.

Don’t try to get your ex’s attention by being online all the time.

Don’t think that just because they know where you currently are, they’ll rush to you and ask to get back together.

These things don’t even happen in the movies. So take the high road.

Leave social media be and live your life for yourself. You don’t need an audience.

I promise that after a while, things will get better but first, you need to weather this storm. Take it one day at a time and don’t push yourself too hard.

If you don’t feel like doing anything special today, that’s fine. Just don’t write a sad status and don’t post any dramatic quotes.

You’ll be fine eventually. And remember, it’s always dark before the dawn.

Publica posts sobre tus regímenes de autocuidado que sean inspiradores y edificantes.

If you’ve found some inspiring hobby that helps you move past all the heartbreak, definitely post about that!

A la gente le encantan las publicaciones motivadoras orientadas al autocuidado.

Perhaps you’ve discovered yoga, you’ve started using new products that have been doing wonders for your skin or there’s a new gym that you swear by.

Eso es algo sobre lo que puedes escribir; tu viaje hacia la felicidad interior y cómo llegar a ella.

It’s not about your ex, it’s about you encontrarte a ti mismo ¡Otra vez!

Eso es definitivamente algo digno de Instagram.

It’ll inspire your followers, help someone during their struggle and bring you closer together to your community. What more could you ask for?

Positivity should always outweigh negativity. It’s so easy staying in your dark, gloomy bubble and refusing to find a glimmer of hope.

Pero sólo hace falta una cosa. Una razón para levantarte y seguir con tu día.

That one thing has the power to turn into two, three, ten little things and before you know it, you’ll be genuinely okay.

Dar el primer paso es lo más difícil, pero sin duda lo más gratificante.

DON’T leave nasty comments on their posts

Si ves que publican una foto con un nuevo apretón, abstente de comentar: Wow, it really didn’t take you long to replace me.

If you see them post a happy status, also don’t comment saying anything that’ll allude to how they treated you. It may suck but being nasty online can only worsen things—and fast.

Y encima, al mundo exterior (léase: tus amigos online), you’ll appear as the villain in this story, while they’ll be the victim.

And we all know that’s far from the truth. So whatever nasty thing you’re tempted to write, just don’t. It’ll feel good for a brief second, then it’ll suck for much longer.

Aprovecha esta oportunidad para conocer gente nueva y ampliar tu círculo.

Esto podría ser una verdadera bendición disfrazada. Si recibes una nueva solicitud de amistad, ¡aceptala!

This could be someone you just recently met at the gym or a friend of a friend. Either way, it’s a great opportunity to meet some new people and shift your focus from all this negativity.

And honestly, you never know when life’s about to surprise you with someone who’ll become really important to you.

So broaden your horizons and take any opportunity you get to expand your circle. What’s the worst that can happen?

¿Cuándo es el momento de dejar de ser amigo de tu ex de una vez por todas?

Cuando ver su cara apareciendo en las redes sociales te hace sentir miserable

This is when you know that unfollowing them is a must. Your social media feed shouldn’t bring you anxiety.

Browsing through your feed shouldn’t make you worrisome about seeing something that could break your heart in half.

Do yourself a favor and press delete. You’ll still echarlos de menos and wonder what they’re up to but at least you won’t keep seeing them all the time and that’s vital.

Para recuperarte de una ruptura, tienes que alejarte de ellos durante un tiempo. Y cómo es posible si su cara sigue apareciendo en tus redes sociales?

When you feel the urge to contact them, knowing you SHOULDN’T

Every time you go online, you try to create an excuse to contact them. Any little reason that won’t seem obvious.

But the thing is… it will be obvious.

If you know that you shouldn’t contact them but you fear that your weakness could get the better of you, I have two words for you. Quítales la amistad.

¿Quieres sentirte mejor? ¿Quieres dejar de estar tan obsesionado con ellos?

¿Estás harto de la tentación de enviarles un mensaje cada día? Entonces ya sabes lo que tienes que hacer.

Hitting ‘unfriend’ will feel like a thousand knives through your chest but once you do it, it’ll be over and done with.

When all you want to do is add all of their friends to see what they’re up to

Cada vez que ves a tu ex salir con sus amigos, necesitas saber más. ¿Y cómo puedes hacerlo? Agregándolos.

Pero, ¿deberías hacerlo? En absoluto. De hecho, en cuanto estés a punto de pulsar el botón de añadir amigo, desconéctate inmediatamente.

What’s the point in doing that? Hurting yourself even more?

Cuando la tentación de agregar a todas las personas con las que se relaciona tu ex triunfa sobre tu sano juicio, tienes que eliminarlas de tu lista de amigos.

Don’t let your current weakness win. You’re better than that.

Cuando verlos con una nueva pareja te recuerda a tu relación pasada

Your ex has a new partner and it’s profoundly painful seeing them together.

Every time they post a cute photo, your nostalgia kicks in and you’re reminded of how that used to be you.

Cuanto más los ves, menos bien estás.

Esto sólo va a prolongar el proceso de curación. Cada foto y estado feliz deteriorará tu proceso de curación.

How can you put an end to that? By choosing to no longer be their online friend. There really isn’t a reason for that anymore.

When they post about ‘finally’ being with the right person (you don’t need that kind of negativity)

This will be the hardest pill to swallow; knowing that your ex can post whatever they want and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Don’t be surprised when they post a nasty status such as: ‘So, this is what it’s like when you’re finally with the right person’.

It’ll hurt like hell. You’ll know that this is a dig at you. You’ll feel the need to reply and be merciless while crying on the inside.

¿Pero sabes qué? ¿Por qué ibas a hacerlo? Discutir en Internet es infantil, inmaduro e inútil.

If you don’t want to let them herirtesimplemente elimínelos ahora mismo. What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

When you still haven’t healed from the break-up

It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay if you’re still picking up your pieces. There is no time limit on heartbreak.

Nobody gets to tell you to just get over it. It’ll take you as long as it takes.

But do you know what’s really important during this time? Admitting to yourself that keeping your ex on your friend list is anything but a healthy choice.

For as long as you’re on shaky ground emotionally, you don’t need their presence.

Maybe one day you’ll be ready to be (online) friends again but today is probably not that day.

When you realize that if you don’t, you’ll never really get over them

Which brings me to my next point. After having admitted to yourself that you’re still too messed up to see them on your feed, it’s time for another bitter pill.

Deep down, you know you’ll never heal if you don’t move away from them, both physically and virtually.

Si quieres recuperar a tu ex en algún momento, primero, tienes que llegar a un lugar saludable de nuevo. Y unfriending ellos, por el momento, es una necesidad.

Who knows, maybe in a few months’ time, you’ll be a brand new person who can handle it better. But now, do what’s best for you.

Cuando tu autoestima está por los suelos

You’ve never felt more sorry for yourself. You’ve never felt less important or attractive. You fear that no one will ever want you again.

¿Y aún así mantienes a tu ex en tu lista de amigos? The one who’s (at least partially) to blame for the way you’re feeling right now?

I don’t think I need to go any further. Whatever happened between you two, it’s clear that it has affected you mentally and emotionally.

You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Your worth is not based on what your ex thinks of you!

When you realize that it’s time to move on without looking back

One day, you’ll finally realize that it’s high time to move on and nunca mires atrás. The past is in the past and what’s done is done.

Your past relationship doesn’t define you and you sure as hell won’t allow yourself to dwell in negativity any longer.

Por lo tanto, dejar de ser amigo de esta persona se convertirá en un imperativo para una vida más feliz.

Luckily, at this point, it won’t be as hard anymore. It’ll be a natural next step toward betterment.

It might sting every now and again but with each passing day, you’ll be better.

And ultimately, that’s all you could wish for.

Cuando conoces a alguien que te ayuda a ver la luz al final del túnel

No matter how gloomy it might seem right now, one day you’re going to meet someone new. And this person will help you see your worth again.

You’ll realize that your tough break-up was just a part of life that sucked profoundly but it needed to happen so that you can grow.

Today, you’re happier and much, much stronger for it. You went through a lot of pain and you came out the other end. Congrats!

And the final step toward being truly okay again is unfriending the person who made you feel like you weren’t enough.

Now, you’re finally with someone who knows how to treat you.

Esto significa que mantener a tu ex en tu lista de amigos es lo más alejado de tu mente.

Pulsa cuanto antes el botón de cancelar amistad y ve a donde te lleve tu nueva felicidad.

Reflexiones finales

Las rupturas son un asco. Tanto si fuiste tú quien la inició como si no, seguir adelante nunca es tan sencillo como desearías.

Therefore, considering whether or not to post your ex in a desperate attempt to get their attention isn’t that crazy.

Don’t feel bad about feeling nostalgic, wanting to meet up and thinking of texting them. You’re only human.

Just last night, I was experiencing one of the more challenging nights wondering whether I should reply to my ex’s Snapchat or not. And do you know what I figured out?

It’s all up to you and your journey. If you feel confident that you’ve healed from last year’s break-up, why the hell not?

But if you’re still reminiscing in your head about the last time they kissed you, perhaps it’s time to hit the brakes.

I’ve shared with you my foolproof tips on getting your ex back and figuring it all out and I hope you’ll know how to use them wisely.

After all, you know your own heart and you’re the only one who knows what the smart move is. So, good luck and keep pushing forward. You’ve got this.