Sexo com amigos? Os 10 maiores segredos que ninguém lhe vai contar

Por muito que tentemos negá-lo ou contrariá-lo, haverá sempre um fascínio irresistível na ideia de um encontro de uma noite com um melhor amigo.

A total no-strings, sex with benefits situation. In reality, you know it probably wouldn’t work but in your imagination, it’s just casual sex…

Nobody will fall in love, so what’s the harm? It’s just some light, hot fun!

What could go wrong? Why would a sexy, ‘forbidden’ hook-up with one of your close friends be such a big deal?

As respostas a estas perguntas são, no mínimo, abundantes. Ninguém espera que uma relação romântica evolua a partir de uma situação de sexo.

Ninguém planeia sentir e ficar romanticamente preso a um bom amigo.

No entanto, isso acontece com mais frequência do que se possa imaginar. 

Here, I’ll explain exactly what you’d be getting into along with the good, the bad and the ugly of getting into a fuck buddy situation with a friend before thinking it through.

Merece ser informado sobre as coisas que nunca ninguém lhe contará.

Quem sabe, pode acabar por mudar de ideias e fazer o melhor para si próprio a longo prazo.

Veja e decida por si próprio se a sua amizade consegue sobreviver a esta experiência!

Sex With Friends… Can It Work?

According to a relationship expert, sex with friends doesn’t necessarily have to be the end of the friendship, provided that the friend is a close one and that the emotional connection is substantially strong enough to withhold such a risky move outside of the comfort of the friendship.

It isn’t the norm and it’s not always encouraged but your sex life is your own.

And you’re the ultimate judge of how equipped you are to get into a casual sex relationship with a buddy without emotions getting involved.

And I’m here to educate you on the benefits of casual sex and the dangers that follow it.

The thing is… the lines get blurred so easily and from the primeira vez se envolver num engate com um melhor amigo à terceira vez, as coisas vão parecer diferentes.  

Sexo fantástico é fixe e tudo, mas sem regras básicas, muita gente se queima e o embaraço segue-se.

Sexual attraction doesn’t always have to turn into a sexual relationship.

Sometimes, if the lines aren’t clear and you feel the  possibility of one person getting attached, it’s best to nip it in the bud.

But does sex with a friend have to signify a funeral for your friendship? No, it doesn’t.

Em primeiro lugar, tudo depende da forma como tu e o teu amigo definem o sexo.

To some, it’s just a fulfilling activity that brings you some much-needed relaxation and a happy ending.

E para outros, significa uma profunda ligação emocional que conduz inevitavelmente a algo real e genuíno.

Você e o seu amigo estão na mesma página quando se trata de definir o que o sexo significa para ambos?

E, em segundo lugar, quais são os seus objectivos finais?

Is one of you secretly hoping the other one realizes that they’re in love with the other?

Ou estão os dois simplesmente e só para se divertirem sem compromissos?

My advice is to never engage in a fwb situation if you’re not both in it for the same reasons.

If one person is emotionally invested and with ulterior motives, it’s bound to come crashing down. Be certain that neither one of you has a hidden agenda. 

Certifique-se de que a única razão para este encontro é a satisfação mútua, após o que pode pegar nas suas coisas e ir-se embora, tendo cumprido a sua missão.

Se não for assim, as linhas vão esbater-se, os sentimentos virão à superfície e pelo menos um coração acabará partido.

Está pronto para correr o risco? Continue a ler e descubra o que REALMENTE acontece quando decide atravessar a linha e explorar o território.

Firstly, I’ll discuss the cool benefits of having sex with a friend, after which you’ll see the dangers it may present that no one will tell you about. Let’s get going!

Sex With Friends – The Benefits

Por que não começar com algumas coisas suculentas, convenientes e fantásticas que o sexo com amigos lhe trará.

Afinal de contas, o sexo deve ser divertido! Por vezes, tudo o que precisa de fazer é ter alguma ação arrebatadora e vaporosa debaixo dos lençóis para libertar a tensão e relaxar a tua mente.

E o sexo casual é tudo sobre essa merda.

Having romantic partners is priceless but there comes a time in every person’s life where they just want to have some carefree sex with someone who won’t get attached and develop romantic feelings.

And why shouldn’t they? If you’ve got a buddy who’d be down for something like this, why bother swiping right no Tinder se o puderes fazer com alguém que já conheces?

Sleeping with a friend doesn’t have to be a big deal.

And here’s the flip side to it that will prove to you it actually might be worth a shot!

1. Familiaridade (não é necessário recorrer a estranhos obscuros) 

The biggest plus of this whole situation is that you KNOW this person so you know they’re not some shady stranger who might end up robbing you blind when you fall asleep.

And let’s face it, it’s a legit possibility with um caso de uma noite hoje em dia.

Este é o seu amigo e conhece-o genuinamente. Sabe o que o motiva, o que o faz feliz e o quão stressante ele pode estar num determinado dia.

You don’t have to worry about a stranger being in your home because this person probably already spends half their time at your place so they feel at home!

You can be honest about your likes and dislikes because since they’re not your actual romantic partner, you don’t have to worry about hurting their feelings.

They don’t give a fuck! They’re in it to have some fun with a familiar face and then leave with a smile on their face. Nothing more and nothing less.

2. Não precisa de impressionar ninguém

Since this is your friend, they know you well enough to not care if you’ve shaved your legs or armpits.

They honestly don’t care what you look like. They’re not some stranger who’s going to leave your house and go on telling everyone about what it was like.

Trata-se de um encontro amigável que acaba debaixo dos lençóis e fica entre essas duas pessoas.

So you don’t have to pressure yourself into looking your best. And doesn’t that release some of the pressure of the whole thing?

Tal como nas relações a longo prazo, com o tempo, deixamos de nos preocupar com essas partes superficiais de uma pessoa.

You have one goal and it’s to have your fun in the sun and leave for the night.

You’re not in high school and the whole school won’t be in the know the next morning, so relax. Do the deed and know it’s no one’s business but yours and your friend’s.

3. Não envergonhar o corpo

O seu amigo ama-o. Têm uma amizade genuína baseada no respeito e no amor mútuos (o tipo de amor de amigo).

And due to all that, you can feel safe around them and not fear being body-shamed if you’re not ‘perfectly’ shaped.

Although, who’s perfect anyway?

That’s just a myth that no one really should care about because people love who they love.

Não tem nada a ver com a aparência física e tem tudo a ver com a beleza interior.

Luckily, you’re getting naked around someone who knows you, ama-te e aprecia-o.

They would never make you feel bad for looking a certain way and that’s the best thing about sex with friends.

You can be you! No hiding parts of yourself, no shame in taking your clothes off and no wondering if they’ll think less of you when they see a stretch mark.

So if there’s one reason to try sex with a friend, this would be it.

4. Whatever happens, you’ve always got a friend

There’s a first time for everything, right? If you don’t try it, you’ll always wonder what it would be like.

Assim, mesmo que se aperceba que não é o seu género de chá, pelo menos continua a ter o seu amigo!

Quiseste experimentar algo diferente, tentaste e aprendeste a lição.

Pode rir-se disso agora, enquanto toma uma bebida e recorda aquela vez em que teve um caso de uma noite.

And if this is a good friend, you know they’re not going anywhere.

Nothing can chase them away. You both decided to do this together and it’s a thing of the past now.

It might work and you might find a system that truly doesn’t mess with your friendship.

OR you might realize you’re not cut out for this and go back to being friends.

5. Ótimo treino para futuras experiências sexuais

You can both simply ‘use’ each other (in the best way possible!) to get some practice in if you’re not sexually as experienced as you’d like to be.

É uma óptima ideia, não é? Diverte-se de forma inofensiva com um amigo e ganha a tão necessária experiência e feedback honesto.

This will help you gain confidence, get better at things where you’re lacking and become a self-assured lover who won’t hold back under the covers.

E o sexo com os amigos ajuda-nos a conseguir tudo isto!

Por isso, em vez de recear os possíveis resultados, concentre-se nestas fantásticas vantagens que o ajudarão a tornar-se o amante que deseja ser.

You’ll learn the best way to approach a person, find out how to avoid possible mistakes and give your lover the best experience of their life.

E tudo isto enquanto desfruta de sexo inofensivo com o seu amigo.

Sim e sim!

Sex With Friends – The Dangers

Okay, so I’ve shown you the perks of having sex with a friend and I genuinely believe in every single one of them.

Como em tudo na vida, há dois lados da moeda e esse era o lado bom, aquele em que se obtêm todas as partes boas sem sofrer as consequências.

And if you’re among the lucky ones, that could easily happen to you! But to be fair, I must say that the dangers of sex with friends outweigh the benefits.

True, it might be close… but you’ll see why the cons prevail in this situation.

Sex therapists warn against this arrangement due to the dangers I’m about to list here.

It’s not a rule that this will be the case but there’s a huge likelihood and you deserve to be warned about the good, the bad and the ugly before making an educated decision.

If you’re adamant to try sex with a friend, here’s everything you should know that no one will tell you.

Só depois de passar cuidadosamente por todos estes pontos é que estará verdadeiramente pronto para esta viagem. Apertem os cintos, aqui vamos nós!

6. It’s probably much better in your head

Quando pensamos (fantasiamos, se preferirmos) em ter sexo com um amigo íntimo durante algum tempo, construímos isso na nossa cabeça, ao ponto de se tornar um objetivo inatingível.

You probably have an idea in your head that it’s going to be just like in the movies but I have to be honest with you; it rarely is. 

Most of the time, it’s awkward at first and once you get down to business, you’re reminded of how awkward these things can be if it’s not with your long-term partner.

One-night stands generally end up being the hottest experience of your life of the worst idea you’ve ever had.

There’s no in-between. The same goes for sex with friends. 

It’s either going to rock your world and make you see this could become a regular thing or the more likely version—realizing what a mistake this is within minutes and not knowing how to tell the other person without hurting their feelings.

7. It’s likely going to affect your friendship

You may think that you’ve got this and that nothing can ruin your friendship but you’d be wrong.

Uma má experiência sexual tem a capacidade de transformar os melhores amigos em conhecidos incómodos. Não há muitas coisas piores do que sexo mau entre amigos, certo?

Imagina ter um caso horrível de uma noite com um amigo íntimo e depois tentar manter a vossa amizade como se nunca tivesse acontecido?

Isso seria, no mínimo, complicado.

You’ll meet up for coffee, feel completely normal for a minute and the moment something reminds you of your unfortunate experience, there will be such a loud silence that you’ll want to disappear from there.

You both know it sucked but you don’t want to say it but at the same time, pretending is out of the question because you BOTH know the truth so there’s no win there.

Apenas dois amigos que tentam fingir que nunca tiveram uma experiência sexual estranha, que pode deteriorar a sua amizade e enfraquecer os seus laços.

8. Ciúme inesperado

This is something that creeps up on you out of the blue. You certainly don’t expect to get jealous in this arrangement, but trust me… it happens more often than you think.

At first, it’s all good and it seems to be working.

You’re starting to get the hang of the whole thing and you’re able to separate your friendship from the ligação.

Depois, um dia, vimo-lo a falar com outra pessoa e a fazer-se ao espelho.

You see them clearly coming on to this person and start realizing you’re not okay with that.

De onde é que vem esse ciúme? Pensaste de certeza que não havia sentimentos da tua parte, apenas bom sexo.

Então, que raio se está a passar? A isso, meu amigo, chama-se ser humano.

É natural para todos nós começarmos a desenvolver uma ligação emocional com uma pessoa com quem temos relações sexuais regulares.

And it makes sense, doesn’t it? You see them naked on a regular basis and you enjoy your time together.

Mas nunca contamos com o facto de sermos nós a desenvolver sentimentos, até que isso nos aconteça.

9. Julgamento externo

Clearly, this one is not on you two but people sure do feel entitled to their own ideas of what someone else’s life should look like and criticize their choices like it’s their job.

It sucks and it’s totally unfair but it does happen. Are you ready to be faced with the unwarranted opinions of your friends and family?

Are you prepared to explain your decision over and over again to people who have no business butting in (but which won’t stop them)? 

This is something that comes with the territory and I’m here to inform you before you do something that might end up backfiring.

People will condemn you because they don’t understand you.

Julgarão as suas escolhas e nem sequer tentarão compreendê-las.

Isso torna-se um fardo demasiado pesado para suportar e acaba por arruinar a sua relação de amizade, even if it’s going well!

People will always stick their noses in where they don’t belong. And you’re the one who knows how well you can deal with that.

10. Pode abrir uma lata de minhocas

Have you thought about this scenario? What if you and your friend start getting busy and one day you both start realizing that you’ve got romantic feelings for each other that you’re not ready to deal with?

Ou, pior ainda, só um de vós se apercebe disso e a coisa torna-se demasiado complicada.

Como é que isso afectaria a vossa amizade e a vossa relação de amigos?

I’m guessing you didn’t even stop to contemplate this. But it happens extremely often.

How would you deal with realizing you’ve both got feelings but don’t want a relationship?

What would you tell your friend who informs you that they’re starting to fall for you but you’re SO not in that place?

You’re far more likely to react poorly and not handle it to the best of your ability because it’ll catch you by surprise and you won’t know what to do or say.

Your friend might end up hurt, you’ll end up resenting yourself for handling it so horrendously and both your friendship and your sexual relationship will come crashing down.

Pense em todos os cenários possíveis antes de decidir envolver-se neste processo.

Just because it seems great on paper, it doesn’t mean it’ll be like that in real life.

Considerações finais

By this point, you’ve probably changed your mind more than once about wanting to have sex with a friend.

But that’s actually a good thing. It means you’re getting the picture and you see how complex it truly is.

Things often appear simple, fun and harmless but when translated into real life, they’re anything but.

So I hope you’ve now been informed enough to be able to make a smart decision, knowing all the ways it can affect your friendship.

É certo que há aspectos positivos, mas os perigos são mais prováveis do que as vantagens.

We’re talking about the bond of two friends being tested for sex purposes.

Está preparado para arriscar perder um amigo por algo tão frívolo como o sexo?

Are you prepared to handle them developing an emotional connection and ask you for more than you can give them right now If not, it’s probably not the smartest idea to try sex with friends.

Only when you’re both on the same page about your feelings, end goals and expectations can you begin considering a sexual relationship with a close friend.

Isto pode acabar por ser uma pequena experiência divertida ou pode abrir uma lata de vermes que o apanhará de surpresa. Está preparado para correr o risco?