Se te sentes um fracasso no amor, lê isto
Do you ever get that feeling like everyone around you is in a happy relationship and you’re the only one still single? Like everyone around you enjoys os encantos do amor verdadeiro exceto tu?
You’re not alone. Feeling like a failure at love has become an epidemic and more and more people feel this way for some unknown reasons, or for some maybe not-so-unknown reasons.
In my circle of friends, this epidemic called ‘failing at love’ has taken a heavy toll.
The other day, when I was talking to one of my girls, she seemed totally devastated because she was convinced that she’s the ultimate failure at love just because everyone around her has someone and she’s flying solo (after a few heartbreaks).
She is convinced that she’s a failure at love because her best friends enjoy the company of their loved ones, because they’ve found that one person who means the world to them. And do you know what I said to her?
Eu disse-lhe: How in the world does this make you a failure at love? How can you fail at something that doesn’t have a grading system, a speed limit or an expiration date?
Just because you still haven’t found the tipo de amor that is right for you, this doesn’t mean that you fail at love.
Just because your past relationships didn’t work out, this doesn’t classify you into the category of ‘being a fracasso amoroso’.
Enquanto eu dizia isto com a confiança de Sua Santidade o Dalai Lama, ela olhava para mim incrédula, como se eu tivesse acabado de inventar algo novo que ela ignorava completamente durante todo este tempo.
But I hadn’t. This is the only truth!
The only truth is that you cannot fail at love because love isn’t something you can ‘fail’ at!
As you’re listening to other people’s fairy tale love stories, you naturally get the feeling like you’re missing something big, something that hasn’t found you yet or never will. You get convinced that you will be forever alone or that you’ll keep jumping from one failed relationship to another.
But other people’s love lives aren’t something you should reflect on in the first place.
All those cute pictures of happy couples on social media aren’t something that should cause you dissatisfaction or this feeling of hopelessness regarding your own vida amorosa.
Porquê?
Porque experimentamos e construímos a nossa própria vida amorosa ao nosso próprio ritmo. Cada um dos 7,8 mil milhões de pessoas da atual população mundial tem desafios românticos diferentes e um calendário de relações diferente.
And just because some of them have found their special one sooner, this doesn’t make you a failure at love!
Some people need more time, more challenges to overcome and more patience. There’s no need to think that you’re the one to blame for your past failed relationships.
As relações falham por muitas razões e isso não tem nada a ver com o facto de estar condenado ou ter menos sorte do que o resto da população.
Isto não tem nada a ver com o facto de se sentir um fracasso no amor, porque o seu tempo para brilhar e dar os frutos do amor ainda está para vir.
Just because it didn’t happen yesterday or today, it doesn’t mean that it won’t. Where you are at this moment is exactly where you should be.
Todos os desafios que teve de enfrentar fazem parte da sua viagem chamada vida e das lições que teve de aprender para se tornar mais forte, mais sábio e mais feliz no futuro.
O amor não é algo que se possa comprar numa loja. O amor não é algo instantâneo.
Love isn’t a game.
Love isn’t a game of Tetris where you have to match all the tiles in a video game called love in order to feel like a winner.
Love isn’t The Bachelor TV show where you have to compete with others in order to enjoy the perfect love. Perfect love doesn’t exist and a perfect person doesn’t exist.
Love isn’t a game where you need to play all the right cards in order to attract it into your world.
Love isn’t something you can really influence and therefore, it cannot make you a failure and you shouldn’t stress about it.
Como seres humanosNascemos com o instinto de amor das nossas mães e carregamos esse instinto durante toda a nossa vida.
Procuramos aquela chama especial que acenderá o fogo do amor nas nossas almas.
É natural para nós procurarmos o Único.
Aquele que mudará a nossa perspetiva das coisas, desafiar-nos-á e tornará o nosso mundo maior e mais rico.
We’re convinced that love is exactly what we’re missing at that moment and the only thing that can make us feel better.
And that’s why we feel so sad when we’re unable to achieve it. That’s why we start feeling like we fail at this game called love.
But love isn’t a game. It’s not something that requires learning special skills or possessing a special code that will enter us into the world of unconditional love.
O amor não é algo a que se deva apressar.
Because love isn’t a race.
Love doesn’t have a finish line where you have to win first place. Love doesn’t know the meaning of these two words ‘successful people’ and ‘failures at love’.
Those who have already found their special one are not the ones chosen by love. They just happened to find it sooner than others, which doesn’t make them more successful or luckier.
Therefore, you cannot fail at love because love isn’t a race where you should find someone ASAP only to fit the norms of society.
Love isn’t something you should rush to, because you can’t, even if you wanted to.
O amor tem a ver com a viagem. O amor consiste em todos os seus momentos passados e presentes que estão ligados aos seus momentos futuros.
O amor é uma força omnipresente que não pode ser perseguida.
Love is life’s changes, laughter, tears… Every time you were disappointed in love and feeling like a failure, love was still there with you, holding your hand and whispering into your ear that you shouldn’t feel this way because love is not something you can influence.
O amor é algo que se experimenta. O amor é algo que se experimenta do fundo do coração e não do exterior.
Because love isn’t about the number of likes or comments on social media.
Love is not about romantic selfies that will bring you tons of likes or comments on your social media. Those couples that you envy so much because they look perfect in every picture don’t have a perfect life or perfect love.
Just like you, they have their everyday concerns, obligations and especially love obligations toward their partner’s needs, dreams and desires.
Love isn’t about having comments like “OMG Ficam muito giros juntos!” underneath your pictures on social media. Because love is not something shareable, likable, Tweetable, etc. The number of likes on your pictures is not a measure of love.
And that’s why you shouldn’t rush to it. You shouldn’t rush to it for the wrong reasons. And you shouldn’t feel like a failure just because you have no one to take a romantic selfie with so that you can share it with other people.
O amor não é algo que vai aparecer misteriosamente do nada quando apanhar our phone and start dialing in the hope that we’ll get some answers for it being late.
You cannot order love to appear in your life because love will not come to you until the time is right. You cannot fail at love just because it hasn’t found you yet.
Love is not a game or a race. Love isn’t about the number of likes or comments on social media.
O amor está dentro de ti. O amor é real.
You cannot fail at love just because you couldn’t create something meaningful with your previous partner(s).
There isn’t a special formula that you need to learn in order to do everything right so that your love can keep existing.
Just because it didn’t work out with your previous partners, this doesn’t make you a failure. Just because you don’t have an arsenal of cute photos with a partner to share your love with others on social media, this doesn’t make you a failure.
Just because you need more time to find your special one, this doesn’t make you a failure.
Porque o amor não pode ser forçado, não pode ser partilhado redes sociais e não pode ser apressado.
O amor vem dentro de nós e o que quer que venha dentro de nós, não pode ser forçado. Só pode ser deixado a desenvolver-se ao seu próprio ritmo.
Love is a powerful emotion and just because you haven’t felt it yet, this doesn’t make you a failure!
Love is real and sensitive like a summer breeze. It’s both powerful and fragile at the same time and it cannot be tamed. It cannot be chased and it cannot be bought.
Encontrar um parceiro perfeito não é uma definição de amor e, portanto, isso não pode torná-lo inadequado para amar ou incapaz de amar.
Love is so much more than that! It’s a complex emotion that consists of so many layers still unknown to many of us.
Love is in the color of a bright blue sky, love is in a beautiful flower, love is in a cute kitten that’s crying for her mother’s milk, love is in all the nice things we do for others, love is in our hearts.
So, if you love the world and everyone around you, how can you even be a failure at love? Well, you can’t!
If you wake up every day with a smile on your face because you’re grateful for everything you already have, then you’re sure as hell a winner at love!
If you live your life with passion, compassion and hope, even though you were disappointed by life and love multiple times, then you’re sure as hell a winner at love!
If you notice and worship all those little things that many people unconsciously neglect, then you’re sure as hell a winner at love!
You cannot fail at love if love already lives within you and if it’s deeply rooted in your heart. You just need to nourish it and when the right time comes, this love will flourish into something even bigger and greater.
Mas tudo isto tem origem na sua perspetiva inicial sobre o amor.
Se acredita que um dia vai encontrar esse amor incondicional de que toda a gente fala, então vai mesmo encontrar!
If you believe that you won’t and if you keep telling yourself and others that you’re the ultimate failure at love, then love will be confused about you.
It will think that you’re not ready for it yet and that’s why you will have to wait a little bit longer to be ready to welcome it into your life.
The ability to love starts with the ability to love life. The ability to love others starts with the ability to love one’s self.
We often think that finding love will make us complete and if we haven’t found it yet, we feel incomplete, sad and like we’re missing something big out there.
Isto é verdade, mas até um certo ponto. Encontrar o amor só o tornará completo até um certo ponto se conseguir encontrar-se a si próprio antes.
Everything stems from self-love or the lack of it. Thinking that you fail at love also stems from a lack of self-love and that’s why it’s important that you first focus on learning how to love yourself instead of others. Now, how does one love themselves?
Amarmo-nos a nós próprios significa aceitarmo-nos como realmente somos, with all of your quirks, flaws, good sides and bad sides that come in a package. Loving yourself means being aware of the fact that you’re imperfect and being perfectly okay with that.
Loving yourself means not blaming yourself for all the past relationships that simply didn’t succeed, not blaming yourself for not meeting your soulmate yet and not blaming yourself for cruising solo.
Amarmo-nos a nós próprios também significa não nos importarmos com o que os outros pensam.
Just because others are in a relationship and just because some of them are telling you that you should start doing something about your love life as well, this doesn’t mean that you should listen to them.
This doesn’t mean that you should feel less worthy or incapable of finding or fighting for real love.
Porque um dia, num determinado momento, when you least expect it, you will meet the love you’ve been waiting for!
E antes que isso aconteça, é preciso concentrar-se em si próprio e aprender a gostar de si, aconteça o que acontecer.
When you master this, you will be able to love another human being with all of your body, mind, and heart—unconditionally.
Se te amas a ti próprio, não podes ser um fracasso no amor!
Loving yourself is the ultimate expression of love, the most powerful of all. If you love yourself, then there’s nothing you should worry about because you’re doing everything right.
You’re on the right path toward meeting your soulmate, your special one, and there’s no need to hurry because there’s not a chance that you will miss it!
Loving yourself means that you’re ready to receive unconditional love from the One and it’s only a matter of time when true love will knock at your door and greet you with lots of blessings and a big smile.
Não se pode ser um fracasso no amor se se souber apreciar e respeitar a si próprio, porque esse tipo de amor é o mais difícil de aprender.
Por isso, respire fundo e veja a verdade!
Abra os olhos e aceite o facto de que o amor é o seu direito inato e que, por isso, não pode falhar, mesmo que queira!
Love is something that was born within you the moment your heart started beating inside your mother’s belly. You were born out of love and therefore, it’s a part of you.
It’s a part of your every pore, every smile and every tear.
Embora o nosso corpo seja constituído por um líquido até 60% chamado água, foi o amor que inicialmente nos trouxe ao mundo e encheu o nosso corpo com 100% de puro amor.
E o amor puro é a força mais poderosa do universo! O amor puro faz parte de nós. O amor puro é o nosso direito de nascença.
So, to fail at something that’s already a part of you is quite impossible. You cannot fail at being who you are. You cannot fail at existing.
Com cada passo, cada palavra e ação, partilhamos o amor à nossa volta sem nos apercebermos disso.
Tu crias amor em muitas formas diferentes que fazem de ti quem és hoje. E todas estas formas irão um dia combinar-se numa grande e incondicional forma e tudo o que precisas de fazer é esperar e acreditar que é assim!
No matter what you’ve been through, your ability to love always remains.
And all you need to do is unlock it! No matter how disappointed you are in love and relationships due to your past heartbreaks and painful experiences, this doesn’t mean that you’ve lost the ability to love or that you’ll wear the title of being a failure at love for the rest of your life.
You won’t!
Your ability to love is still there within you and all you need to do is look for it, unlock it and praise it. Because no matter what you’ve been through, your ability to love always remains.
What you’ve been through before is not a measure of love and it has nothing to do with it.
To discover love’s full potential, you need to find the right one for you because finding the right one means unlocking real love!
And that’s why you should never rush into it. That’s why you should wait patiently and with the hope that real love will find you because it will.
Encontrá-lo-á quando menos o esperar e quando estiver preparado para ele.
And when it does, believe me, you’ll know it.
You’ll know it because you’ll feel like you’re living on a different, exciting planet that all this time was waiting for you to visit it.
You’ll know it because all of your tears will be replaced with pure laughter, hugs and kisses.
You will no longer worry about being a failure at love because you will realize that this concept doesn’t exist.
You will realize how mistaken you were all this time for believing that you’re an outcast and that love has forsaken you.
Quando o verdadeiro amor o encontrar, vai sabê-lo porque, de repente, tudo o que lhe aconteceu no passado começará a fazer sentido.
You’ll be amazed by the amount of love you can give to another human being. All of your wounds will heal and your heart will start beating in a different, happier rhythm.
Quando o verdadeiro amor te encontrar, tu vais sabê-lo. E até isso acontecer, espera. Acredita.
Ver também: Se te sentes como se fosses ficar solteiro para sempre, lê isto
