Será que ainda o amo? 5 sinais claros de que está na altura de o deixar ir

Será que ainda amá-lo ou estou apenas a ficar com ele por razões práticas e de conveniência?

Esta é uma pergunta que já fiz a mim próprio várias vezes na vida e nem uma vez foi fácil para mim encarar os factos.

Breakups are just the worst, and I have to say, there have been times where I deluded myself into thinking it was a smart idea to stay in a doomed relationship just so I wouldn’t have to go through all that inevitable heartbreak.

I mean, who in this world wouldn’t do everything in their power to try and salvage a relationship that you feel has potential to go the distance?

Nothing is perfect, no relationship is without its glitches and faults, so why wouldn’t you work on saving it instead of just desistência ao primeiro sinal de problemas e decidir que já não o ama?

Infelizmente para mim, o meu instinto estava sempre certo.

De alguma forma, sempre me indicou que devia desistir, mas o meu rabo teimoso ignorou-o, esperando que estivesse errado.

Se está a passar por este dilema impossível neste momento e se está constantemente a perguntar a si próprio, "Será que ainda o amo? ou estou apenas a prolongar o inevitável?” just listen to what your gut feeling is telling you.

O teu coração vai sempre querer ficar e exercitar-se os seus problemas.

Afinal de contas, há tanto amor, história e bons momentos entre vocês os dois que seria uma parvoíce deixar de lado o taco! Mas há alturas em que simplesmente sabemos. No fundo, tens a tua resposta.

You’ve just buried it so deep, hoping it wouldn’t resurface and you could keep living your fantasy, avoiding the harsh reality that has come upon you.

Ninguém o pode censurar. Todos queremos o nosso "felizes para sempre" e faríamos tudo o que fosse preciso para o encontrar e manter.

But sometimes what you don’t realize is that what you are actually doing is sacrificing your happiness and your joy.

Ao manter-se numa relação em que não se sente realizado, está a negar a si próprio o direito de ser verdadeiramente feliz.

Don’t settle for mediocre love. Don’t settle for broken communication and half the effort on his part.

Don’t stay where you don’t feel like your authentic self and where your spirit is crushed.  Deves a ti próprio encontrar essa pessoa que te deixa todo contente por dentro e por fora.

And if your current partner is not doing that, you’re with the wrong person, and that’s okay!

You are still a good person if where you currently are isn’t where you want to stay forever. You are the only one who knows what sparks joy in you.

If your gut is telling you that you’re not where you’re meant to be, listen to it! It’s almost always right.

If you’re wondering whether you still love him or if you should finally deixá-lo à solta, here are 5 signs that point out it’s time for you to move on to better things:

As vossas discussões tornaram-se demasiado frequentes e intensas

Todos os casais lutam. Arguments are a normal occurrence in healthy long-term relationship because they are a way to get your partner to see things from your point of view and to get them to understand where you’re coming from.

It is not a way to make the other partner feel bad about themselves or kick them while they’re down. You’re going to fight. That’s a fact.

But what matters is that you do it with some ground rules that ensure that you’re actually trying to make things better without worsening the situation or diminishing your partner’s feelings.

Em primeiro lugar, certifique-se de que a direção da sua discussão é no sentido de uma solução conjunta com o mínimo de danos para a sua relação.

Nada de golpes baixos. Nada de trazer à baila argumentos antigos (resolvidos) só para provar o seu ponto de vista.

Focus on the problem at hand and nothing else. Secondly, try to see things from your partner’s perspective.

Try to understand what he’s trying to tell you and always keep in mind that he is not trying to magoar-vos.

Ele está apenas a tentar fazer com que veja as coisas de forma um pouco diferente. Os argumentos não são uma desculpa para ser abusivo de forma alguma.

They are not an excuse to make your partner feel like shit and violate their trust. If this is what your relationship has come to, it’s time to take a break.

Não há qualquer esforço da sua parte para que resulte

You can love him all you want, but when you’re the only one actively putting in effort and working on your relationship while he’s just sliding along, it’s time to rethink this whole thing.

When you realize that he doesn’t even ask how you are anymore nor does he try to do the little things that would go a long way, now that is a sign of a broken relationship.

You can still love him, but when he can’t be bothered to equally participate in the partnership you’re both in, he’s not worth your time.

Não se esforçar e nem sequer se preocupar com isso é um sinal claro de desrespeito.

You can make all the excuses you want for him, but when a man loves you, he’s not just going to sit there while you’re busting your ass trying to fix things.

Um homem que a ama não vai deixá-la ser a única a investir na sua relação, porque sabe como é doloroso sentir-se sozinha quando deveria sentir-se apoiada por o seu homem.

And quite frankly, if he isn’t trying, he probably doesn’t even care enough about you anyway.

Take that as your biggest sign to leave, and don’t ever think about settling for this treatment again.

In this situation, even if you do still love him, he’s just not the guy for you. Recognize that, respect yourself enough, and let him go.

You don’t say “I love you” anymore

Naturally, you don’t need to say those three words all the time in order for them to be true.

After a while, you both just feel it so intensely, that there’s no need to throw it around as much.

Ainda se faz questão de o dizer, mas simplesmente não há necessidade de o forçar. O amor está lá e os dois sabem-no.

But when you notice that you can’t remember the last time you heard him say “Eu amo-te” or vice versa, now that’s a sign that you should start worrying about your relationship and joint future.

If you don’t feel the need to say it to him anymore, start wondering why that is.

Normalmente, quando deixamos de sentir o que costumávamos sentir, deixamos gradualmente de o dizer sem sequer nos apercebermos.

And if this is the case on both parts, that could be a sign that you’re both falling out of love.

Try saying it to him and pay attention to how it makes you feel.  If you have to force it and it doesn’t really feel natural, you may no longer feel it.

Quando tem de se pressionar para expressar o seu amor ao seu parceiro, é provável que o amor já não exista.

Quanto mais cedo o admitir, melhor se sentirá quando se libertar do que já não o faz crescer.

A relação tornou-se mais uma rotina

There is nothing better than finding that one person you want to spend every waking moment with and experience everything life has to offer by each other’s side.

Waking up together and facing life’s challenges just seems better when you’re together.

Granted, there are going to be days that won’t feel like such a rush of emotions where you can’t wait to see them, but even on those days you’ll know that it’s all normal and you still love him just as much as you did before.

However, when your relationship feels like it’s numa rotina and there is no more excitement to see each other, talk about all the things that have happened to you that day, and you don’t even feel the need to change it, you might have a problem.

When things become boring, there is nothing that makes you happy about going home to him, and you don’t even feel like that’s a problem, your relationship may have just become nothing but a daily routine.

You might even avoid intimacy to the point where snuggling together doesn’t even sound appealing anymore.

Só se faz sexo em determinados dias e, mesmo assim, é preciso obrigar-se a fazê-lo.

It’s not that he’s pressuring you, more like it’s become a robotic routine that you feel you should do at times, even though the need is no longer there.

Love is not supposed to feel like a routine, so if you feel this has become your reality, it’s time to end it ASAP.

When you think about your future, he’s simply not in it

Este é o sinal mais claro de todos. É natural imaginar o que o futuro nos reserva, e quando isso acontece, se o seu parceiro simplesmente não está presente, então provavelmente tem uma boa razão para se ir embora.

If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it is perfectly normal to think about your joint future and how you plan to level up in your relationship.

But if you don’t feel like he belongs in your life for the long haul, you probably shouldn’t even be asking yourself if you still love him. You clearly don’t!

O homem que amas e com quem queres estar durante muito tempo é alguém que estaria na linha da frente dos teus planos para o futuro!

Mas se tiver de se forçar a colocá-lo nos seus pensamentos sobre o futuro, provavelmente será melhor se romper com ele.

It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with him, it simply means that your relationship has run its course and it’s time to move on to better things!

Don’t feel bad. Anything that’s not making you happy or fulfilled doesn’t belong in your life.

Better things will come along and when you find the one who’s supposed to be in your life for good, you’ll just know because you’ll never have to wonder about him.