14 Sinais à prova de bala de que uma viúva está pronta para namorar de novo

Voltar a namorar é difícil depois de uma separação difícil ou de um divórcio. Por isso, pode imaginar como pode ser difícil após a perda de um cônjuge.

No entanto, É possível iniciar uma nova relação saudável e muitos cônjuges sobreviventes encontram a felicidade após a perda.

But what are the signs that it’s time to get out there? What are the signs a widow is ready to date again? Read on, and you’ll find out.

14 sinais de que uma viúva está pronta para namorar de novo

Eis como uma viúva que está pronta para um nova relação actuará:

1. A grande limpeza

Let’s get one thing straight: this woman spent years with her deceased husband. They shared their lives together, and it’s perfectly natural for her to be surrounded by memories of him. 

After all, it would be theoretically impossible to throw out everything that reminded her of him. And even if it were possible, this is something you shouldn’t even think of asking her to do.

However, before she starts a new, serious relationship, there is one thing she must do: the big cleansing. It’s time for her to decide which memories she wants to keep and which she is ready to let go of.

I mean, no man would feel comfortable being with a woman who, let’s say, still sleeps in her husband’s pajamas every night. You wouldn’t feel like she is ready to seguir em frente se a voz dele ainda está no atendedor de chamadas.

This is the kind of stuff I’m referring to. Of course, the big cleansing doesn’t include throwing away all of this man’s photos or getting rid of every trace he ever existed – that would be cruel.

2. Abraçar a sua vida de solteira

One of the most overlooked signs a widow is ready to date is the fact that she’s abraçou a vida de solteiro. O que é que isto significa?

Well, jumping from one relationship to another is never healthy, even if we’re talking about a breakup or a divorce. Therefore, you can only imagine how unhealthy it is to entrar no mundo dos encontros logo após a morte da pessoa amada.

Neste caso, the surviving spouse should spend some time by herself. I’m no Judge Judy, so I’m not here to tell you exactly how long this phase should last.

O que importa é que, como viúva, ela tem de aprender a viver sozinha antes de começar a namorar novamente. Sim, a sua vida de solteira trará muitos desafios novos e únicos, mas ela tem de os ultrapassar sozinha.

This is the only way you’ll know she’s not looking for a new partner who will, in a way, replace her deceased spouse. Esta mulher precisa de aprender a funcionar sem um parceiro neste mundo, e só quando isso acontecer é que estará pronta para um novo capítulo da sua vida e para um novo amor.

3. Deixar ir

Existem diferentes fases e tipos de luto. E após a perda do cônjuge, a viúva tem de passar por todos eles antes de iniciar uma nova relação.

I mean, it’s impossible to move on unless you master the art of deixar ir first. I’m not saying that she should forget her husband’s birthdays or their anniversaries – but, after some time, she should stop living for those dates.

No, nobody expects her to stop mourning in the blink of an eye. In fact, that wouldn’t be healthy either.

No entanto, esta mulher precisa de tempo para processar a sua perda, enfrentar o luto e, finalmente, aceitar que perdeu um ente querido e que ele nunca mais vai voltar. Sim, ela pode apoiar-se em amigos, familiares ou mesmo em grupos de apoio enquanto faz isto.

Nevertheless, it’s never acceptable for her new partner to be a shoulder to cry on. That’s the whole point: a widow isn’t ready to date again if she hasn’t let go of the memories, the pain, all the could-have-beens and should-have-beens…

4. Voltar à piscina dos encontros

Many relationship experts will tell you pretty much the same thing: if you’re the surviving spouse, the first date you go on after the loss of a loved one won’t be the start of a new, serious relationship. And it shouldn’t be.

One of the signs a widow is ready to date is the fact that she’s been de volta à piscina dos encontros durante algum tempo. Só quando ela passar pelas diferentes fases do namoro é que estará pronta para a relação maravilhosa que merece.

The safest way to begin is on social media and on online dating sites (in fact, specialized widower and widow dating sites exist). Of course, she should only see it as a starting point without allowing it to become a comfort zone she’s too scared to step out of.

After some time, she’s ready to go out with someone new face-to-face for the first time. Yes, every widow will probably have her share of good and not-so-good dates, but that is what getting back out there is all about.

Só então ela terá a oportunidade de pensar nos seus padrões, descobrir o que quer e decidir com o que nunca se contentará.

5. Voltar a pôr a sua vida nos eixos

Uma das coisas mais difíceis de fazer depois da perda de um ente querido é voltar à sua rotina diária. Claro que isto também se aplica às viúvas que estão a lidar com a morte do cônjuge.

No início, quando o cônjuge sobrevivo está a passar pelo processo de lutoA sua vida é uma vida de amor, tudo e todos se concentram nos seus sentimentos e nos seus altos e baixos emocionais. Ela está rodeada de pessoas que cuidam dela, e é-lhe permitido processar os seus sentimentos como quer.

But after a while, whether she likes it or not, she has to go back to her everyday responsibilities. She has to go to work and continue taking care of her kids. And that’s the hardest part – having to move on with her life without her loved one by her side.

Yes, this is quite difficult. She’s now on her own, and it’s her job to get her life back on track. However, it is necessary and non-negotiable.

E só quando o consegue fazer é que a viúva está pronta para voltar a namorar.

6. Reinventar-se

For the longest time, this woman has been someone’s wife. And in many cases, she abandoned all of her other roles, especially if she was a housewife. Now that her husband is gone, she is left completely lost in this cruel world.

Bem, um dos sinais de que uma viúva está pronta para namorar é o facto de se ter conseguido reinventar.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that this woman has to necessarily change the essence of her being to become more attractive to men. A real man will love her for who she really is – that’s undebatable.

I’m just trying to say that she has to remember who she was before her marriage. She has to find out more about her likes and dislikes. What does she want to do with her life? What does she want to be when she grows up?

Most importantly, this is when she has to start working on herself. It’s the perfect time to put effort into becoming the best possible version of herself.

Basicamente, esta mulher tem de se tornar feliz por si própria, sem esperar que um novo parceiro traga felicidade ao seu mundo.

7. Já passou tempo suficiente

One thing is for sure: everyone heals and moves on at their own pace. However, a widow is most definitely not ready to date anyone right after her husband passes away. I’m talking about a time frame of a couple of weeks and even months.

No, I’m not here to judge those who get involved in something new during this time. Nevertheless, começar uma nova relação logo após a morte de um cônjuge não é saudável.

De facto, isto provavelmente será apenas um relação de ricochete. Uma viúva usa este novo romance como uma forma de escapar à sua dor e como um mecanismo de sobrevivência. Nesta altura, não está definitivamente preparada para iniciar um novo capítulo na sua vida.

8. She doesn’t talk about her late spouse all the time

Let’s face it: what man wants to go out with a widow who talks about her deceased husband all the time? 

I’m not saying that she shouldn’t talk about him or about all the memories they shared together. However, a first date is not the place for this. These topics are for support groups or family gatherings.

Por isso, se sair com uma viúva que passa a noite inteira a falar da sua perda e do seu anterior casamento, uma coisa é certa: essa mulher não está preparada para voltar a namorar.

O pior é que, provavelmente, ela está a fazê-lo sem sequer ter consciência disso. Esta mulher, infelizmente, sente uma vontade incontrolável de estar sempre a falar do marido.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you – it’s just a sign that she needs more time to move on. And that’s perfectly fine.

9. She’s accepted that he’s gone

Aceitar a perda de um ente querido é provavelmente uma das coisas mais difíceis que um ser humano tem de enfrentar. Mas é a fase final do luto.

E só quando uma viúva chega a esta fase é que está pronta para voltar a sair e começar uma nova relação.

Durante muito tempo, esta mulher esteve zangada com Deus, com o Universo ou com o próprio marido por tudo aquilo por que teve de passar. Pensou em tudo o que podia ou devia ter feito de diferente para evitar que ele morresse.

Depois disso, continuou a procurar razões para o sucedido. Porque é que o marido tinha de se ir embora tão cedo?

But now, she’s accepted her fate. Of course, she is still sad about it, but she knows it was meant to be.

She is grateful because she had such an amazing man by her side, but she knows that he’s not coming back.

10. Ela vê um futuro com um novo homem

One of the signs a widow is ready to date again is her picture of the future. There doesn’t have to be a specific man in her life just yet; what matters is that she is able to imagine herself with someone. Trust me, this is a sign of massive progress.

This woman feels that she is ready to let her guard down and allow herself to fall in love with someone new. She’s thinking about getting married again, or at least what it would be like to move in with a new man sometime soon.

When she pictures her future, she doesn’t see herself dying alone. Instead, she imagines herself growing old with her partner and living as part of a team.

If a widow with this kind of mindset reenters the world of dating, she has a great chance of being happy again. Of course, she is not here to push anything – she is just open to new possibilities. And that is more than enough.

11. Pronto para a intimidade física

O que acontece quando uma viúva está ansiosa por sair com alguém, enviar mensagens de texto e fazer chamadas telefónicas regularmente, passar tempo com um homem e deixá-lo entrar na sua vida, mas se recusa a ter intimidade com ele de qualquer forma possível?

Don’t get me wrong – it’s one thing if this woman needs time to engage in anything sexual. After all, you have to understand that she’s slept with the same man for years, and it’s perfectly natural that she can’t get used to another body in the first couple of dates.

Mas e se ela não estiver interessada em qualquer forma de intimidade, mesmo passado algum tempo? Ela não está à procura de um parceiro romântico. O que esta mulher precisa é de um amigo.

On the other hand, a widow who is ready to date will gladly hold hands with you, kiss you, cuddle, and eventually sleep with you. She won’t do it because you expect it from her – she will have the same desire for intimacy you have.

12. As suas palavras correspondem às suas acções 

Someone who wants you will put effort into pursuing you. It all comes down to this one sentence. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a man, a woman, a widow, a divorce, or about someone who is single.

I’m not saying that she will be needy, that she will make the first move, or that ela vai perseguir-te. However, her words and actions will show that she’s interested in you.

Esta mulher enviar-lhe-á mensagens, fará um esforço para o ver pessoalmente e esforçar-se-á por fazer de si parte da sua vida. Ela vai esforçar-se para o conhecer melhor e, finalmente, para o fazer feliz. Ela vai investir o seu tempo e energia nesta parceria.

Yes, this might take a little longer, keeping in mind everything she’s been through. However, sooner or later, she’ll get there.

13. She’s gotten rid of the guilt

One of the bulletproof signs a widow is ready to date again is the fact that she is no longer wracked with guilt. This woman doesn’t feel like she is betraying her husband or the children she has with him.

She doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She is aware that by moving on, she is not erasing the memory of her deceased spouse.

Infelizmente, muitas viúvas debatem-se com estes pensamentos. Apesar de os seus maridos terem falecido, sentem que os estão a trair sempre que pensam em deixar outro homem aproximar-se.

Mas uma mulher que está pronta para uma relação séria pôs fim a estes dilemas. Ela sabe que o seu falecido marido quereria que ela fosse feliz.

She knows that she can’t bring him back to life, no matter what she does. If she chooses a solitary life, she will only hurt herself and won’t bring any good to others.

She is not overwhelmed with guilt, and she knows that putting her happiness first isn’t selfish.

14. Apresentá-lo a amigos e familiares

A widow who has really moved on with her life will allow you to become part of her life in the real sense of these words. This means that she won’t keep your relationship a secret. After all, why would she? She is a single woman and has every right to date.

Isto inclui apresentá-lo aos amigos e familiares dela. 

Of course, you shouldn’t expect her to do this until your relationship becomes serious, especially if she has little children. These things take time, but she will definitely put effort into you two getting there at some point.

But if she keeps hiding you as if you were her lover, even after you’ve reached certain milestones, it’s pretty clear: she’ll never give you the place you deserve in her life.

Quanto tempo é que a maioria das viúvas espera para namorar?

Cada um faz o luto ao seu próprio ritmo. Isto significa que não existe um prazo pré-determinado para que uma viúva comece a namorar novamente. Ninguém a pode acusar de voltar a namorar demasiado cedo ou de esperar demasiado tempo antes de começar uma nova relação.

No entanto, a maioria das viúvas espera um ou dois anos antes de pensar em namorar. É nesta altura que, normalmente, precisam de passar por todas as fases do luto e pelo tempo necessário para retomar as suas vidas.

But every widow will feel when she’s ready to date. She shouldn’t feel pressured by her surroundings to start or stop dating, and she shouldn’t do anything she’s not comfortable with. Here’s a piece of advice for all the widows out there: listen to nobody but your gut.

Como saber se uma viúva gosta de si?

If you’re not sure whether a widowed woman has romantic feelings for you, these signs might help you figure her out:

1. Fazes com que ela se ria

Esta mulher está de luto. Passou inúmeras noites a chorar até adormecer. Toda a sua tristeza fê-la esquecer a sensação de sorrir, quanto mais de rir.

Mas foste tu que conseguiste mudar isso. Passado algum tempo, vê-se a felicidade nos seus olhos. Trouxeste positividade à vida dela. A tua simples presença fá-la sorrir.

Besides, she’s admitted it herself: she can’t remember when last she laughed so hard. And it’s all thanks to you.

2. Ela abre-se

This woman had her heart broken in a way you probably can’t even imagine. So she had no other choice but to build high and thick walls around it to protect herself from getting hurt again.

No entanto, ela derruba estas paredes para ti. Ela deixa-o entrar e abre-se para si.

She talks to you about the trauma she’s been through. This woman is completely honest and doesn’t mind talking about the fears and demons that haunt her.

3. Ela vê um futuro consigo

Another sign a widow likes you is the fact that she’s planning a future with you. I’m not only talking about moving in together or getting married.

She feels safe enough to plan a trip with you next summer. When she talks about the holidays, you’re included in her plans.

There is less and less “I” in her sentences and more and more “we.” She sees you as her person and her partner in crime.

4. Ela deixa-o entrar na sua vida

Se uma viúva gostar de si, permitir-lhe-á fazer parte da sua vida. Arranjará tempo para si, incluí-lo-á nos seus passatempos e apresentá-lo-á aos seus amigos e familiares.

You will be more than a booty call or the man she calls when she’s lonely and has nothing better to do. You’ll be her plus one, and everyone will know she has a new partner.

She won’t hide you on her social media, nor will she be embarrassed to show you to the world.

As viúvas são difíceis de namorar?

I won’t lie: namorar uma viúva é mais complicado do que namorar uma mulher solteira. Quer queira quer não, ela carrega consigo uma grande bagagem emocional. Para além disso, as coisas são ainda mais complicadas se ela tiver filhos.

No entanto, Não há razão para discriminar estas mulheres que já passaram por muito. Se gosta de uma viúva e acha que tem hipóteses com ela, deve mesmo tentar.

Just think of all the benefits this relationship might bring you. First of all, you’re dating a woman who knows how to love and be a partner. A woman who loved a man for the rest of his life, a loyal and faithful woman who will hopefully love you the same way.

Quais são as três fases da viuvez?

As três fases de viuvez incluem a negação/choque, o luto e, finalmente, a cura.

In the first phase, the widow refuses to accept that her husband has passed away. Of course, on some level, she is aware of what has happened. However, deep down, she chases away the thought of his death and tries to live her life as if he’s still alive.

After that comes grief. Whether she likes it or not, she realizes that he’s gone, and she is slowly starting to accept that. During this phase, sadness overwhelms her, and she feels like she will never be able to move on with her life.

Felizmente, a fase de cura vem a seguir. Nesta altura, a viúva aceita finalmente a sua perda. Ela nunca esquece o marido e continua a guardar a sua memória. Mas também se apercebe que está viva e aprende a apreciar esse facto.

Para terminar:

Just because you’ve seen all the signs a widow is ready to date doesn’t mean that you should rush things. 

She might be head over heels for you, but don’t forget that she’s been through a lot. The most important thing here is to take things slow – on her own terms.

Sim, isso vai exigir alguma paciência. Mas, se gostares dela o suficiente, valerá a pena.Whatever you do, please, don’t break her heart – she’s been hurt more than enough. Please, don’t start anything if you don’t think you can handle a woman like her! In that case, it’s better to give up right at the start instead of giving her false hope!