8 sinais de que você está em uma situação de namoro (e o que fazer a respeito)

Dear reader, if you’re confused about your relationship status with another person, then you might be in a situationship. No, there’s no need for you to start panicking right away because this happens to lots of people out there (including myself).

Estar numa relação indefinida ou sem compromisso tornou-se uma coisa. Pode ser difícil saber para onde é que tudo isto vai quando se está na fases iniciais de namoro.

Ambos querem estar numa relação de compromisso? Não te importas de ser amigo com benefícios? Sabes o que queres?

Damn, these questions can confuse even the strongest of spirits. No wonder people had to come up with the new dating term ‘situationship’ to define all this madness.

But things don’t have to be tão complicado. You’ll find out all you need to know about this type of relationship and what to do if you’re in one below. Also, we’ll spice it all up with some quotes that perfectly define the essence of a situationship!

Ready? Then let’s get to it!

O que é uma situação?

Here’s one simple situationship definition: A situationship is the space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship. It is an uncommitted or undefined romantic relationship.

O Urban Dictionary define-o como o seguinte: “A relationship that has sem rótulo on it… like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.”

If you want an even simpler definition: It’s when you’re neither HERE nor THERE.

You’ve been seeing each other regularly for a couple of weeks, months (or even years?), and you both know that it’s not just about sex.

You have so much fun together, meaningful conversations are a part of your hangout routine, but you still haven’t (or you have no idea how to) define all that.

É necessário evitar o DTR (definir a relação) conversa a todo o custo porque não faz ideia de como a abordar. Também quer evitar estar numa relação unilateral.

It’s when you know that the struggle (situationship vs. relationship) is real.

Ver também: Porque é que os homens gostam de situações? 10 razões reveladas

Uma situação é má?

A situationship is not necessarily bad, and it all depends on both partner’s expectations of their relationship (or the thing they have at the moment). Look at it this way:

If one partner wants to define things and (secretly) desires to be in a committed relationship while the other partner doesn’t want the same thing, then their situationship is a bad thing.

Se ambos os parceiros estão na mesma página, mas precisam de mais tempo para sair de uma situação de situação and define things, then it’s not that bad.

It all depends on both people’s expectations of the thing they currently have. Being in such a relationship doesn’t need to be bad if it’s only a transitional phase toward something defined.

But if we’re talking about potential amor não correspondidoproblemas de compromisso, etc., este tipo de relação pode ter os seus efeitos negativos. Portanto, ser honesto consigo próprio. O que é que realmente quer?

Quanto tempo duram as situações?

Acredite ou não, estas relações podem durar meses (ou mesmo anos), e normalmente há dois resultados possíveis:

• Pode ser uma fase de transição.
• Nunca avança.

Este tipo de relação pode ser uma fase de transição para uma relação comprometida e definida, ou nunca irá avançar.

One (or both partners) will initiate the DTR (define the relationship) conversation, or one or both partners will decide to move on. There’s no grey area here. Wait, there is. It’s staying in a situationship.

Como é que se sabe se se está numa relação?

If you haven’t defined the thing you have yet, then you’re in a situationship. Wait, I have better examples.

If you’re feeling anxious about being on the same page as your partner, you know you’re in an undefined relationship or uma quase relação.

Also, if you’re having trouble sleeping, eating, etc., then you secretly wish to be in a committed relationship with your partner but are afraid that they don’t. Therefore, you’re in a situationship.

That’s what happened to me recently. I refused to initiate DTR because I didn’t want to pressure the guy I was dating, so I waited for him to take the first step.

Well, he didn’t, and we continued being in an undefined relationship until I decided that it was time to move on. Here’s how you’ll know if this is happening to you:

Signs You’re DEFINITELY In A Situationship

You haven’t put a label on your relationship (yet)

If you haven’t defined the relationship, then you know you’re in a situationship. Talking about the meaning of real situationship…

There are multiple reasons for this “phenomenon.” Perhaps you’re dealing with um homem emocionalmente indisponível or woman, or they’re not interested in anything serious at the moment.

You don’t make plans in advance

You don’t make plans in advance, but you’re fazer amor and not just having sex. This is probably one of the most complicated sentences in the universe, but that’s just how this type of relationship works.

Frequência irregular das reuniões

Em tempos de aplicações de encontros, a falta de consistência tem sido uma tendência. Isto é especialmente verdade para os millennials que se encontram frequentemente em relações indefinidas.

Last-minute or short-term plans have become routine. You know it’s less than a relationship, but still, it’s more than a casual encounter or booty call.

Falta de ligação emocional

Every official and healthy relationship is based on a strong emotional connection. If you’re having surface-level conversations, this is a telltale sign that there is no connection or exclusivity.

Learning about the other person’s life, dreams, goals, etc., helps partners connect on a deeper level. If they don’t, then they get stuck in a situationship.

Podem estar a sair com outras pessoas

Quando estava presa numa relação indefinida com um homem, perguntava-me constantemente: É um jogador? Estava à procura de pistas nas redes sociais de que isso poderia ser verdade, e tinha razão.

Christie Tcharkhoutian, PhD, LMFT, uma casamenteira sénior da Three Day Rule em Los Angeles, descreve esta coisa de encontros online seguida de fobia de compromisso como o seguinte:

“Online aplicações de encontros have created this paradox of choice. We have so many options, and it’s hard to commit to that person in front of us because when they go to the bathroom, we can just swipe.”

And that’s how you end up in an undefined relationship. You might secretly prioritize them, but they might be seeing other people because you haven’t defined anything.

They haven’t introduced you to their friends and family

If your “new relationship” consists of Netflix and random hookups, then you know you’re not in a real relationship.

The same thing applies if they haven’t introduced you to their friends and/or family. Ladies, being too busy is just one of the many desculpas que os homens usam para fugir ao compromisso.

Sente-se ansioso e confuso

Are you okay with being someone’s meia-namorada or half-boyfriend? If not, then, of course, you’ll feel anxious and confused.

This type of undefined relationship can greatly influence a person’s mental health and quality of life (speaking from experience). Don’t be ashamed to ask for help from psychotherapists and relationship experts.

There’s no discussion about future plans

There’s no discussion about the future, características de uma boa namorada ou namorado, ou qualquer outra coisa ligada a relações reais.

A única discussão que tem (consigo próprio) é quando pensa nas bandeiras vermelhas desta coisa indefinida que tem.

What To Do If You’re In A Situationship

If you’re okay with being in such a relationship, then continue doing what you’re doing. If you’re not okay with being in an undefined relationship but want something more, then don’t follow situationship rules.

A honestidade é a melhor política. Diga-lhes que quer ser o seu legado namorado/namorada. Tell them you’re interested in a relação duradoura e não relacionamentos situacionais.

If you’re both on the same page, then you’ll easily make a transition to an official relationship. Before having a conversation with them, think about whether you’re sabotar inconscientemente a sua relação (ou, devo dizer, a relação indefinida).

If you’re interested in defining your relationship, but they aren’t, then walking away from a situationship and cutting off all communication is the best option (and probably the only option).

Citações de situações

Regardless of if you’re in a situação ou não, estas citações ajudá-lo-ão a compreender melhor o conceito subjacente a uma relação indefinida:

• “A ‘situationship’ is not a relationship. Excuses about limitations and obstacles are just a lack of courage and commitment. Those who truly want to be together, find a way to make it happen.” – Anthon St. Maarten
• “Situações: let’s just chill, have sex, and be confused about the fact that we are not together but have official emotions for each other.” – Unknown
• “A man who is truly interested in a woman will find an endless number of reasons why he must see her. A man who is just playing around or confused about his own feelings will find an endless number of excuses why he didn’t show up.” – Charles Orlando
• “Staying in a situation where you’re unappreciated isn’t called loyalty; it’s called breaking your own heart.” – Unknown
• “I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know we’re better off letting go of. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t even really have. Some of us say we’d rather have something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.” – Meredith Grey
• “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 200 times…we are probably in a situação.” – Unknown
• “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” – Maya Angelou
• “People aren’t even dating anymore, just talking, catching feelings, sleeping together, and ending up in situationships.” – Unknown
• “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho

LEMBRE-SE: As situações podem transformar-se em relações

Situationships don’t have to be complex or frustrating if both partners know what they want. With that being said, conversation is key when it comes to taking things to the next level and entering the realm of real relationships.

And here’s some extra help (given that I’m feeling generous today): 5 maneiras à prova de bala de transformar uma situação em um relacionamento.