Relação complicada: 8 armadilhas em que não quer cair

‘Complicated relationship’ is a phrase we hear a lot these days. The term has become more widespread, thanks to the prominent Facebook relationship status option: It’s complicated.

Sempre me perguntei o que é que as pessoas sentem para declarar uma coisa destas e, afinal, há uma série de razões que contribuem para a complexidade de uma relação.

It’s not like we can provide a clear definition of it, but a uma relação complicada significa um resultado insatisfatório vida amorosa.

In other words, it’s when os parceiros debatem-se com inseguranças e codependênciatêm visões diferentes da vida, ou outros problemas de relacionamento that don’t allow them to take their relationship to the ‘exclusividade‘ level.

It’s a relação tóxica between two people who can’t find common ground despite the strong feelings they share for each other. They’re aware they can’t be together, but they also can’t walk away from each other…

Como é que sabe se a sua relação é complicada?

It’s actually pretty simple; if you aren’t sure what seu estado de relacionamento is at every moment, and if you don’t know where exactly you stand with your partner, you’re in a relação complicada. Ponto final.

Quando uma pessoa está em uma vida saudável e relação de sucesso, they don’t have to bother about these things because they have a clear picture of their relationship at every moment. E, se perguntas como esta começarem a atormentá-los, simplesmente discutem o assunto com o seu parceiro.

If you’re in a relationship in which you’re hesitant to call yourself a couple, I’m afraid you fall into one of these categories that definitely indicate your relationship is complicated:

1. Relação de novo, de novo e de novo

Seria ótimo se houvesse um guia universal sobre como para construir uma relação de sucessoMas a realidade é que não só não existe um guia, como também não existem quaisquer regras. E, a circunstância agravante é que cada relação é diferente, tal como cada um de nós é diferente.

There’s no right path. There’s just a scarily big amount of small and narrow streets everywhere.

O amor é confuso… our feelings are messy. So, how on earth will relationships not be messy.

If you’re in uma relação on/offComo sabe, há uma série de razões que levam as pessoas a separarem-se.

Pode dever-se a um conflito causado por características pessoais diferentes (falta de compatibilidade), por um passado de vida, por estagnação ou ciúme, por exemplo.

One thing is for sure, though… The breakup is always followed by feelings of loneliness, missing the old habits, and lacking the comfort you had with your once significant other.

And, that’s when things start to get complicated, and are usually followed by a reunion. That’s where the roller coaster begins.

On/off relationships are full of uncertainty, pain, and passion… It sounds like a good romance novel, doesn’t it? However, this kind of relationship surely isn’t worth your efforts e o seu precioso tempo.

2. Amigos com benefícios

No início, a ideia parece óptima.

Gostam de se encontrar para um momento casual e sensual. Por que não?

Sem compromissos parece um bom plano, mas, na realidade, não funciona. One side is going to catch feelings sooner or later and the whole thing will turn into hell. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen so many times.

Your sex lives may be great now but, pretty soon, a simple sentence like “We’re just friends and all of this between us is just a casual thing, right?” may sound heartbreaking to you.

You will stay neither friends nor lovers. You’ll end up hating each other and yourselves for engaging in such a type of relationship in the first place.

It’s normal for human beings to feel other types of closeness after being physically close. E, infelizmente, os amigos com benefícios O termo pode muitas vezes significar fugir às responsabilidades e agir de forma imprudente.

Antes de entrar numa relação deste tipo, é preciso pensar nas consequências.

I know Mila Kunis looks like the coolest person on earth in that movie ‘Amigos com benefícios,’ but even she catches feelings in the end. And, you don’t want to be the one who’s saying, “It’s complicated” or, way worse… you don’t want to be left heartbroken.

3. Relação à distância

It’s no secret that relações à distância pode ser difícil. Para ser bem sucedido, tem de se esforçar muito mais do que nas relações normais.

Porquê? A sua comunicação pode tornar-se cansativa. A vossa relação pode facilmente cair num cio and it’ll be impossible to lidar com isso… to get out of that cio e salvar o teu amor.

Por vezes, é cansativo escrever ou falar sobre tudo o que aconteceu durante o dia, todos os dias. Em vez disso, queremos que eles estejam presentes quando tudo acontece.

They don’t know your friends, you didn’t meet theirs either, and the fact is that friends represent a huge part of our lives.

You don’t have the physical aspect of a relationship, and we can all agree that’s pretty important. Plus, you don’t know when you’re going to see each other, and it gets hard to live in uncertainty and anticipation.

Cada novo dia de vida em a relação à distância torna-se mais difícil.

Other than that, there are factors such as the financial burden or that there’s no way for the relationship to progress. In that case, you should think about your future together realistically.

Vai funcionar ou não?

If you want it to work, both sides need to put immense effort into making it work, and also, they’ll need to take some risks. It’s possible to beat the distance… you only need to want it and fight for it enough.

4. Relações secretas

This might sound strange, but think about it. Have you ever felt like your partner is hiding you or being unnecessarily secretive about your relationship? Like you’re amantes secretos?

Nunca tiram fotografias consigo e, mesmo quando o fazem, nunca chegam ao seu redes sociais perfis. Nunca escrevem legendas amorosas giras ou marcar-te em publicações engraçadas. E, mesmo que queiras publicar uma fotografia tua, eles opõem-se fortemente.

If you’re in a brand new relationship, that might be okay, but after some time, it tends to become suspicious. You feel like they don’t appreciate you enough… like they are not proud to be yours.

It makes you feel like they’re having segundas intenções ou não o levar a sério.

To deal with it, you need to confront them and get to the bottom of their behavior. If their answers are vague and unsatisfying, that means they’re hiding something or they simply don’t care suficiente.

5. It feels like you’re nothing more than a hookup

A última coisa que quer é sentir-se como you’re just a hookup. If you’re into them and want uma relação duradoura, and they treat you like you’re something casual, then it’s complicated and totalmente indigno do vosso tempo.

The ways you’ll know you’re just a hookup are when:

• They use excuses to not spend the night after you’ve been together.

• They don’t take the time to get to know what you’re like, what you love to do, your tastes or hobbies, etc.

• They don’t bother to answer your messages.

• They avoid meeting your friends and don’t talk about you to theirs.

- They don’t make any effort para o fazer sentir especial.

• They never mostrar afeto em público.

I’m sorry but if you’re experiencing this, it probably means o seu parceiro é um narcisista ela/he doesn’t love you, or doesn’t see you as a long-term partner. On the other hand, it may also mean they’re just a member of the ‘non-monogamous relationships’ club.

6. Nunca teve uma relação saudável antes

This will probably sound awkward to you, but maybe it’s complicated because you don’t know what it feels like when it’s not complicated.

Maybe you’ve been hurt before, and your defense mechanism is constantly telling you to watch out if something is off.

Analisa demasiado todas as situações because you have learned that things are not always what they appear to be. And, that’s okay.

It takes time to heal and trust yourself and other people again. You learned that it takes more than a simple ‘Eu amo-te‘ for making things work.

No fim de contas, é necessário ter um projeto simples e relação saudável consigo próprio, para poder fazer o mesmo com outra pessoa. É preciso esclarecer e definir o estado da relação consigo próprio.

7. O amor existe, mas falta algo mais

You love each other, you care about each other, you text all day long. You feel supported and comfortable, but both of you can’t shake off the feeling that something big is missing.

Sometimes, it feels like they’re your melhor amigo rather than your lover. It’s like there’s something left unsaid or undone.

Neither of you ever said you’re a couple. You just happened to be there for each other when you needed it, and now it just is what it is — some form of undefined partnership with no certain objective.

E a ausência de objetivo significa uma falta de verdadeiro interesse, o que, além disso, conduz a muitas complicações.

Por isso, antes que tudo se transforme numa confusão e se torne uma relação de situaçãoDesejamos boa sorte um ao outro e seguimos em frente.

8. Relação proibida

Here comes the epitome of complicated. Maybe they’re your best friend’s ex, maybe they’re married, or maybe you just know they’re not good for you.

You both know you shouldn’t be doing it, but it just feels so good.

Try asking yourself whether you’re really in love or if you’re maybe subconsciously a thrill-seeker. You probably already know the answer.

Depois de tudo isto, podemos concluir que uma relação complicada é apenas um termo que utilizamos para exprimir problemas muito mais complexos. Vai para além do estado da relação no Facebook.

If you are in this kind of relationship or if you’re entering one for the first time, remember that your own gut feeling will provide you with the best conselhos sobre relações.

Como é que se termina uma relação complicada?

Uma relação saudável deve ser sempre seguro para ambas as partes. Devem existir fortes níveis de compreensão, respeito e empenhamento. Se a sua relação não tiver nenhum destes aspectos, se as coisas se complicarem constantemente entre si e o seu parceiro, a única opção que tem é acabar com ela.

But, first, you need to end it in your head. That is, you need to think it all through. Sort out your thoughts and choose a path you’ll go.

Quando se trata de ordenar as coisas no coração, isso será mais complicado. No entanto, quando se coloca o amor-próprio and the love you feel for someone who doesn’t deserve it at all on scales, the first one will always prevail.

Seja direto e aberto com o seu parceiro. Diga-lhes tudo o que esteve a guardar dentro de si durante todo este tempo. Para que possa encerrar o assunto para seguir em frente de uma forma correcta.

It’ll be hard and heartbreaking, that’s for sure. But, with the help of time and a well-organized support system, you’ll manage to get through it and move forward with your life.

Como é que se resolve uma relação complicada?

On the other hand, if you want to fight for your love and think it’s really worth it, you should stay and work on saving your relationship.

A primeira coisa a fazer é encontrar a raiz dessa cumplicidade. Encontrar e reconhecer todas as suas problemas de relacionamento e lidar lentamente com cada um deles.

Ambas as partes têm de admitir os seus erros e assumir toda a responsabilidade pelos mesmos. Além disso, ambos os parceiros devem esforçar-se por melhorar a sua comunicação e criar um nível de confiança mais forte entre si.

If you both think it’s needed, you can also seek professional help.

A única forma de a vossa relação sair desse marasmo de cumplicidade é se ambos se dedicarem completamente a resolver e a fazer com que as coisas funcionem entre vocês.

It’s not enough just to clear that complicity… you also need to work on strengthening your bond and making your relationship healthy.

Citações de relacionamentos complicados

 

I also had to share with you these touching complicated relationship quotes I found online because each one of them describes the heartbreaking struggle so well…

1. “Love isn’t complicated; people are.”

2. “Somehow, you are both the best and the worst thing that has happened to me.”

3. “A no-effort relationship is uma relação condenada, not a great relationship. It takes work to communicate accurately, and it takes work to expose and resolve conflicting hopes and beliefs. It doesn’t mean there is no ‘they lived happily ever after,’ but it’s more like ‘they worked felizes para sempre.” – Carol S. Dweck

4. “It hurts having you close, but it would hurt even more not having you at all.”

5. “You and I will always be unfinished business.”

6. “We’re more than friends, but less than a couple.”

7. “People make love complicated because they do not get love the way they want to be, ever. I would rather have loved than never to have experienced this complicated and happy feeling.”

8. “My relationship with him was defined by these complex emotions: this mixture of gratitude and resentment.” – Otsuichi

9. “The only complicated things worth fighting for will change the world in some way and/or make you lots of money, and a relação complicada will only keep you from doing either.” – Ingrid Weir

10. “I am sick and tired of all these things, you see… the problem is loving you is so complicated. You want to know what the problem with love is? No one actually knows what it really is.”

⭐I saved the best for last, of course:

11. “You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy… somebody who doesn’t complicate your life… somebody who won’t hurt you.”

To Leave Or To Stay, That’s The Question

O cenário de uma relação complicada só tem duas opções; to stay and fight for your love even though you know it’ll be hard, or to leave, turn your back on it for good, and dig it into the past forever.

And, the only place you’ll find the right answer for your situation is… your heart.

If you already tried and saw that you can’t be away from each other, maybe it’s because you aren’t meant to be apart. In that case, it’s worth the struggle and the fight.

However, if they’re not willing to put your relationship first, then you’re better off without them. Move forward and find someone who’s going to make you feel great and appreciated… someone who’s going to make you feel the way you deserve.

Se o vires como indigno de lutar, reúne forças para deixar o teu relação de montanha-russa once and for all, and continue your search somewhere else…

Somewhere where you’re going to be needed and loved all the time, and without fear of losing your partner.