8 señales de que estás en una situación de pareja (y qué hacer al respecto)
Dear reader, if you’re confused about your relationship status with another person, then you might be in a situationship. No, there’s no need for you to start panicking right away because this happens to lots of people out there (including myself).
Estar en una relación indefinida o sin compromiso se ha convertido en algo habitual. Puede ser difícil saber hacia dónde se dirige todo esto cuando se está en la fases iniciales de citas.
¿Queréis estar los dos en una relación comprometida? ¿Te parece bien ser amigo con derecho a roce? ¿Sabes lo que quieres?
Damn, these questions can confuse even the strongest of spirits. No wonder people had to come up with the new dating term ‘situationship’ to define all this madness.
But things don’t have to be tan complicado. You’ll find out all you need to know about this type of relationship and what to do if you’re in one below. Also, we’ll spice it all up with some quotes that perfectly define the essence of a situationship!
Ready? Then let’s get to it!
¿Qué es una relación de situación?
Here’s one simple situationship definition: A situationship is the space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship. It is an uncommitted or undefined romantic relationship.
Urban Dictionary lo define de la siguiente manera: “A relationship that has sin etiqueta on it… like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.”
If you want an even simpler definition: It’s when you’re neither HERE nor THERE.
You’ve been seeing each other regularly for a couple of weeks, months (or even years?), and you both know that it’s not just about sex.
You have so much fun together, meaningful conversations are a part of your hangout routine, but you still haven’t (or you have no idea how to) define all that.
Quiere evitar el DTR (definir la relación) conversación a toda costa porque no tienes ni idea de cómo abordarla. También quieres evitar estar en un relación unilateral.
It’s when you know that the struggle (situationship vs. relationship) is real.
Véase también: ¿Por qué a los hombres les gustan las situaciones? 10 razones reveladas
¿Es mala una situación de pareja?
A situationship is not necessarily bad, and it all depends on both partner’s expectations of their relationship (or the thing they have at the moment). Look at it this way:
If one partner wants to define things and (secretly) desires to be in a committed relationship while the other partner doesn’t want the same thing, then their situationship is a bad thing.
Si ambos miembros de la pareja están de acuerdo, pero sólo necesitan más tiempo para salir de un situación and define things, then it’s not that bad.
It all depends on both people’s expectations of the thing they currently have. Being in such a relationship doesn’t need to be bad if it’s only a transitional phase toward something defined.
But if we’re talking about potential amor no correspondidoSi tienes problemas de pareja, de compromiso, etc., este tipo de relación puede pasarte factura. Entonces, sea sincero consigo mismo. ¿Qué es lo que realmente quieres?
¿Cuánto duran las situaciones?
Lo creas o no, estas relaciones pueden durar meses (o incluso años), y suele haber dos resultados posibles:
- Puede ser una fase de transición.
- Nunca avanza.
Este tipo de relación puede ser una fase de transición hacia una relación comprometida y definida, o nunca avanzará.
One (or both partners) will initiate the DTR (define the relationship) conversation, or one or both partners will decide to move on. There’s no grey area here. Wait, there is. It’s staying in a situationship.
¿Cómo saber si se está en una situación de pareja?
If you haven’t defined the thing you have yet, then you’re in a situationship. Wait, I have better examples.
If you’re feeling anxious about being on the same page as your partner, you know you’re in an undefined relationship or una casi relación.
Also, if you’re having trouble sleeping, eating, etc., then you secretly wish to be in a committed relationship with your partner but are afraid that they don’t. Therefore, you’re in a situationship.
That’s what happened to me recently. I refused to initiate DTR because I didn’t want to pressure the guy I was dating, so I waited for him to take the first step.
Well, he didn’t, and we continued being in an undefined relationship until I decided that it was time to move on. Here’s how you’ll know if this is happening to you:
Signs You’re DEFINITELY In A Situationship
You haven’t put a label on your relationship (yet)
If you haven’t defined the relationship, then you know you’re in a situationship. Talking about the meaning of real situationship…
There are multiple reasons for this “phenomenon.” Perhaps you’re dealing with un hombre emocionalmente inaccesible or woman, or they’re not interested in anything serious at the moment.
You don’t make plans in advance
You don’t make plans in advance, but you’re hacer el amor and not just having sex. This is probably one of the most complicated sentences in the universe, but that’s just how this type of relationship works.
Periodicidad irregular de las reuniones
En tiempos de aplicaciones de citas, la falta de coherencia ha sido tendencia. Esto es especialmente cierto para los millennials que se encuentran con frecuencia en relaciones indefinidas.
Last-minute or short-term plans have become routine. You know it’s less than a relationship, but still, it’s more than a casual encounter or booty call.
Falta de conexión emocional
Every official and healthy relationship is based on a strong emotional connection. If you’re having surface-level conversations, this is a telltale sign that there is no connection or exclusivity.
Learning about the other person’s life, dreams, goals, etc., helps partners connect on a deeper level. If they don’t, then they get stuck in a situationship.
Podrían estar viendo a otras personas
Cuando estaba atrapada en una relación indefinida con un chico, me preguntaba constantemente: ¿Es un jugador? Buscaba pistas en las redes sociales de que esto podía ser cierto, y acerté.
Christie Tcharkhoutian, PhD, LMFT, casamentera senior de Three Day Rule en Los Ángeles, describe esto de las citas online seguido de la fobia al compromiso de la siguiente manera:
“Online aplicaciones de citas have created this paradox of choice. We have so many options, and it’s hard to commit to that person in front of us because when they go to the bathroom, we can just swipe.”
And that’s how you end up in an undefined relationship. You might secretly prioritize them, but they might be seeing other people because you haven’t defined anything.
They haven’t introduced you to their friends and family
If your “new relationship” consists of Netflix and random hookups, then you know you’re not in a real relationship.
The same thing applies if they haven’t introduced you to their friends and/or family. Ladies, being too busy is just one of the many excusas que usan los hombres para huir del compromiso.
Se siente ansioso y confuso
Are you okay with being someone’s media novia or half-boyfriend? If not, then, of course, you’ll feel anxious and confused.
This type of undefined relationship can greatly influence a person’s mental health and quality of life (speaking from experience). Don’t be ashamed to ask for help from psychotherapists and relationship experts.
There’s no discussion about future plans
There’s no discussion about the future, rasgos de una buena novia o novio, o cualquier otra cosa relacionada con relaciones reales.
La única discusión que tienes (contigo mismo) es mientras piensas en las banderas rojas de esta cosa indefinida que tienes.
What To Do If You’re In A Situationship
If you’re okay with being in such a relationship, then continue doing what you’re doing. If you’re not okay with being in an undefined relationship but want something more, then don’t follow situationship rules.
La honestidad es la mejor política. Diles que quieres ser su legitimo novio/a. Tell them you’re interested in a relación duradera y no situaciones.
If you’re both on the same page, then you’ll easily make a transition to an official relationship. Before having a conversation with them, think about whether you’re sabotear inconscientemente tu relación (o, debería decir, la relación indefinida).
If you’re interested in defining your relationship, but they aren’t, then walking away from a situationship and cutting off all communication is the best option (and probably the only option).
Situaciones Citas
Regardless of if you’re in a situación o no, estas citas le ayudarán a entender mejor el concepto que hay detrás de un relación indefinida:
- “A ‘situationship’ is not a relationship. Excuses about limitations and obstacles are just a lack of courage and commitment. Those who truly want to be together, find a way to make it happen.” – Anthon St. Maarten
- “Situaciones: let’s just chill, have sex, and be confused about the fact that we are not together but have official emotions for each other.” – Unknown
- “A man who is truly interested in a woman will find an endless number of reasons why he must see her. A man who is just playing around or confused about his own feelings will find an endless number of excuses why he didn’t show up.” – Charles Orlando
- “Staying in a situation where you’re unappreciated isn’t called loyalty; it’s called breaking your own heart.” – Unknown
- “I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know we’re better off letting go of. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t even really have. Some of us say we’d rather have something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.” – Meredith Grey
- “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 200 times…we are probably in a situación.” – Unknown
- “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” – Maya Angelou
- “People aren’t even dating anymore, just talking, catching feelings, sleeping together, and ending up in situationships.” – Unknown
- “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho
RECUERDA: Las situaciones pueden convertirse en relaciones
Situationships don’t have to be complex or frustrating if both partners know what they want. With that being said, conversation is key when it comes to taking things to the next level and entering the realm of real relationships.
And here’s some extra help (given that I’m feeling generous today): 5 maneras infalibles de convertir una situación sentimental en una relación de pareja.
