Almost every time my friends called me heartbroken, telling me their boyfriend left them, the conversation ended the same way. It’s like I am listening to the same story all over again. It always happens so suddenly and we never expect it.
We would often try to figure out the reasons behind it, but we’ve barely ever been successful. They seem like they are head over heels in love, and the next thing you know, he’s out the door. It almost always comes together in a package with a sudden change in energy and behavior.
God knows how many times I’ve tried to understand this. I thought a lot about my personal experiences and the stories my friends would tell me. Then, it finally hit me!
There are common patterns in the experiences of all of us because, at the end of the day, we are all humans, the same in our core. We all want similar things, and in the same way, similar things push us away.
We often hold unspoken resentment and when things finally build up and become too big of a burden, we leave. So, let’s resolve this question once and for all! Delve with me into men’s minds.
1. You don’t appreciate him!
If you want to feel like a queen, make sure you also treat him like a king. Men deserve love and care just as much as we do. Even though they probably won’t directly ask for it, they still want to feel appreciated.
When I notice my boyfriend has started getting cranky, I give him some hugs and kisses and he’s like new! Try my method and you’ll see it’s not that serious.
Don’t forget to let him know you are grateful for everything he does for you. Trust me, you’ll have him around your finger in no time. A little bit of gratitude goes a long way.
2. He’s scared of commitment!
“I am not ready for this. I think I need more space.”
The old famous phrase, we probably all heard by now. In translation, it likely means something between the lines of him being scared of investing his emotions and committing to one woman for the rest of his life.
This is often the reason why they leave the woman they love. They love the idea of a relationship but are not ready to submit themselves fully to one person. If there was a sentence to describe this, it would be: “Right person, wrong time.”
3. No fireworks in the bedroom!
Men enjoy making love, what a surprise. Lack of physical intimacy can happen for a number of different reasons.
It happens more commonly in long-term relationships because couples tend to forget that they have to keep the spark alive! Without sparks, there is no fire. Without fire, everyone’s cold. You don’t want him looking for warmth somewhere else, do you?
It also might be that they are not super keen about the things in the bedroom and therefore avoid it. Either way, open communication is worth of gold and can resolve issues like this. You can also just take him into the bedroom and rock his world. This too works pretty well!
4. You treat him like a project!
I remember my aunt after she just got divorced. She was sitting on her front porch, completely shattered. As she exhaled the cigarette smoke filled with disappointment, she said:
”Women marry men thinking they can change them and men marry women thinking they’ll never change.”
This is when I realized you need to ask yourself if you only fell in love with an idea of what he could be like or the real him.
Women tend to have a need to fix everything and damn it, we are not Bob the Builder! Men feel annoyed when women try to correct everything they do or change them completely to their likeness. I mean…wouldn’t you feel annoyed?
5. You complain too much!
Let’s be honest, we sometimes go overboard, especially if it’s that time of the month. My hormones can make me go crazy and then I say things I don’t really mean.
I once thought to myself, wow, I am acting like a teenage girl in puberty. However, you know what they say – “Acknowledgment is the first step towards change.”
Even though they sometimes annoy the hell out of us, we should go a bit easier on them. Constant criticizing and nagging can make them feel as if they are incompetent and not good enough, and that’s a pretty big turn-off for them. They want to feel empowered instead.
6. Girl, you simply ain’t fun!
My friend was always busy and had other priorities whenever her boyfriend came up with something new they could try out. In the blink of an eye, he found the fun somewhere else!
Your relationship doesn’t have to be like a rollercoaster all the time but going on a fun ride from time to time never hurt anyone.
More or less, you are both responsible for this part of your life. The thing is, if he feels like you never initiate anything fun and different he might get bored or feel stuck in the same routine every day.
7. The man’s intimidated by you!
We all know that one woman who just bursts with confidence and she is like the epitome of success in a person. While women may feel inspired by her, men may feel threatened.
This issue goes deep into the expectations set by our society, but that’s a whole different story for some other time. He is sometimes just scared that you have outgrown him and might look for someone better than him. Can we blame him?
There’s always a simple solution to this. Try to communicate about what would help him feel better in his skin. You can help him achieve his goals and then continue growing together with each other by your side!
8. You just can’t agree on anything!
Imagine you are with someone who wants to have kids and you are nowhere near that idea. I literally managed to kill a cactus once. A cactus! If I can’t look after a plant, how would I keep a whole human being alive?
These big questions and plans can be a huge deal breaker especially if you are both stubborn and can’t make an agreement that would suit you both. To some people, even the question of religion and political opinions can matter.
A lot of these problems could be solved with open and honest communication. As you know, men are not really experts when it comes to communicating their feelings so make sure you sit your man in front of you and initiate a conversation if you feel something’s wrong!
However, don’t be sad if there’s nothing you can do, because maybe something better waits for you around the corner. Every end is a new beginning!