Deciding to spend your life with someone is a serious decision. That’s why you need to find your person.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t that person for you.

Finding that person is not an easy task and I wish you the best of luck in that endeavor.

Hopefully, it won’t be that hard, but let’s say you needed to get through a few trial versions to get to the thing you really need.

It’s the same for me.

Sometimes, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that you’re the right person for me – deep down in my heart, I knew it wasn’t you. Unfortunate, but true.

I should’ve seen it earlier. I should’ve seen it in the little things. Little things you said and done.

beautiful young woman standing near an old building looking at the camera

All the things I begged you to do that you always ignored, and all the things I’d done for you that you simply took for granted – I got tired of it.

Sometimes it felt like you didn’t know me at all. How the hell could you put me through all you did if you really did know me?

I choose to believe you didn’t want to hurt me intentionally, even though I’m not always sure.

Sometimes I just wanted you to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay – and you just couldn’t recognize my need.

The problem is, we often got too caught up with playing the roles we decided to play instead of revealing ourselves to each other.

I got tired of pretending I’m somebody I’m not – and you finally realized I’m not what you needed me to be.

You couldn’t see me for who I really am.

pensive young lady sitting on rug inside a modern apartment room

You had an idea of me that didn’t match reality.

It crushed me to know that, but now I’m happy.

I’m happy because, for the first time in my life, I’ve decided to be unapologetically myself.

I’ve decided to not make accommodations for other people to handle me.

For once, I’ve made a decision to look into my own eyes and say: You can do better than this.

I am what I am.

If that’s not enough for you or you can’t comprehend it, then just let go.

Be straightforward, be decisive. Don’t leave me hanging.

woman posing with her thumb under her lip in a selective focus portrait

All I want was to be understood and appreciated for who I am.

I wanted you to show me I’m good enough as I am – and you failed.

I don’t want to blame you for that. The only thing I want is for you to take responsibility for the things you’ve done wrong.

Be a man and admit your wrongs. It’s not the end of the world. In fact, it could be the beginning of the new one.

The one where we’re the ones with a clear vision of ourselves and don’t blame each other for the things they’ve done.

I want to move on with my life knowing all of this wasn’t in vain.

I want to make this a lesson learned and not time lost.

That’s why I’m writing you this letter.

thoughtful woman writing in notebook at home sitting on the floor near the door

I wish you to be a better man. I wish myself to be a stronger person.

Someday, we’ll look back at this and feel grateful for all the things we learned from each other.

We won’t feel bitter or betrayed, we’ll just be at peace knowing it was all a part of a greater plan.

In the end, I already feel grateful to you even though I don’t understand it yet completely.

However, I’m willing to understand.

Everything that happens to me is just a wake-up call on the journey to my self-discovery, even though it was, at one point in my life – through you.

For that, I’m thankful.

For that, I hope you find your happiness in someone else and wish the same for me.

A Letter To My Ex Who Couldn't See Me For Who I Am