If you ever found yourself clutching your phone anxiously while waiting for his text, I get you. Every little sound gives you hope thinking he finally answered, but it’s just another boring notification from some random FB page you once followed.
Then overthinking starts. Is he busy at work? Maybe he’s out with his friends. Or the worst possibility ever – he’s planning that “we need to talk” moment.
Now, hold your horses. Don’t panic right away. From my experience, I can tell you that no texts or dry responses are sometimes totally fine! We all have our moments when our social battery runs out.
However, some red flags should raise your concerns and give you subtle hints that he’s done with you. I’ve dealt with it in the past so now I can smell a divorce from a mile away! Here’s what usually tells me that the marriage is coming to an end.
1. You’re suddenly the one to blame for everything
Ever felt like it’s all your fault? Whatever happens, he blames you, even if he made a mistake. Yeah, it’s a pretty bad feeling to have. It makes you question yourself and if he’s really right.
If this sounds familiar, darling, you’re in a marriage with a professional manipulator. He’s putting everything on you, so he can justify himself from leaving.
2. Confronting him only makes things worse
We all know that open communication is worth its weight in gold. It can resolve all the issues and prevent arguments in the future. So, if he doesn’t want to speak to you calmly and honestly, what does it tell you?
By shutting down this universal solution for almost everything, he knows it will only get worse. That’s exactly why he’s doing it – he wants more reasons for a divorce. Also, it’s possible he just doesn’t want to take accountability for anything.
3. His promises are just empty words
This one just breaks your heart. It’s like telling you that you’ll see the world together and then giving you a plastic globe to look at.
This just shows he doesn’t care and won’t take responsibility for his words. And you know our girls’ golden rule – if he wanted to he would. And it really does be like that!
My ex promised me the whole universe but the only things I got were trust issues and depression! It’s a totally different story with my husband now. He really goes out of his way to provide everything for me just to make me happy!
4. You’re not his priority anymore
You are bored, scrolling through your social media, and you bump into his story. He’s having the time of his life with his friends while one hour ago he said he’s too busy to hang out with you!
You slowly start to notice he’s losing interest and always has more time for others. He’s shifting his energy somewhere else, while he should be all over you! Girl, it’s crystal clear, open your eyes! He’s just not that into you!
5. He doesn’t hide flirting with others
This one just stings like a bee! Flirting with others behind your back is horribly wrong, but doing it in front of you? Now, that’s what I call disrespect.
It’s like he doesn’t care anymore about hurting your feelings! He’s inconsiderate and not afraid to show it. He might do this to test the waters for the future but also to piss you off and make you jealous.
This can only lead to one thing – an ugly fight. And we all know what comes after that. Don’t even bother staying with him!
6. Talks about the future are off the table
You daydream about your future together and starting a family but it seems like he’s not on the same page. Just when you think it’s the right time to make some plans, you hit a wall and realize you can’t even make plans for the next day!
Men happily engage in these conversations when they’re sure you’re the one. If he just brushes you off whenever you mention your future together, it can tell you a lot.
Maybe he even says something along the lines of it not being important or the right time to discuss it. Either way, he doesn’t want to commit to you in the long run.
7. Dry or no responses to your texts
Ohh, those days when he would text you nonstop. His every message and call would make you giggle and blush like a schoolgirl who saw her crush.
Nowadays he responds to your texts hours later, giving you some lame excuse. Even when it’s your lucky day and he finally answers you, his responses are dryer than Sahara!
I always wondered how my ex never responded on time but didn’t leave his phone for a minute when we were together. Whenever someone called him he would answer in a heartbeat! Well, now I understand, and let me tell you the harsh truth, he’s not interested anymore.
8. He’s cold and distant
You always loved spending time together and couldn’t wait to see each other, but recently something’s different. He doesn’t even bother to initiate dates with you.
When you’re together and you’re telling him about your days or problems, it’s like he just zones out. He doesn’t even listen to what you’re saying or gives you bland responses just so it doesn’t turn out he’s completely ignoring you.
Sometimes they don’t even realize the way they behave but other times they’re doing it on purpose so you’d get a hint. Basically, they secretly hope you’ll get tired and divorce them before they have to.
9. Making an elephant out of a fly
All of a sudden everything is a problem and a big one! You can’t discuss anything without him being the drama queen.
He exaggerates every situation and creates an issue where there isn’t one. There is just no way to handle anything calmly and act like grown-ups. I’ve been there and when I finally couldn’t take it anymore, I just snapped and left him.
When they’re not serious about you, they’ll push you away and give you reasons for a divorce. If you ever find yourself in a situation like this, then give him what he wants! It’ll be better for everyone.
Just remember that some men don’t want to take accountability for their actions, and also love to be the victim. They’re often not brave enough to initiate a divorce and will therefore do these crappy things so you’d get a hint.
10. He’s stopped making any effort to resolve fights
Every marriage has arguments, but what happens when he doesn’t even try to make things better? If he’s no longer apologizing, compromising, or even bothering to follow up after a fight, that’s a major sign he’s checked out emotionally.
It’s like he’s already imagining life without the marriage, so he doesn’t see the point in fixing what’s broken. If you feel like you’re always the one trying to smooth things over, it might be time to ask yourself if he’s really in this for the long haul.
You might notice that he avoids even the smallest discussions, brushing them off as “not a big deal” or blaming you for starting fights. It’s not about the fight itself – it’s about the lack of effort to work through it together. When there’s no willingness to fix problems, it’s a clear sign he’s already mentally checked out.
11. He’s way too focused on “improving himself”
Self-growth is amazing, but if he’s suddenly laser-focused on his appearance, hitting the gym every day, or working on himself while excluding you from his journey, it could mean something’s up.
Men often throw themselves into self-improvement when they’re preparing for single life. If he’s not involving you in his new routines or goals, it’s worth asking why.
Sure, it’s great that he’s working on himself, but if he’s cutting you out of the process, it could mean he’s planning for a version of his life where you’re not in the picture. Self-growth should be a shared journey in a committed marriage, so if he’s suddenly treating it as a solo mission, it’s a big red flag.
12. He’s acting overly nice – almost too nice
Here’s the plot twist: sometimes, instead of pulling away, a guy will suddenly become too kind or generous. He’s extra attentive, overly accommodating, or doing things he’s never done before – and not in a good way.
Why? Guilt. He knows he’s about to hurt you, so he’s trying to ease the blow by being the “nice guy” before breaking things off. It’s like he’s setting up a smooth exit strategy so he doesn’t look like the bad guy.
This sudden change can feel confusing because, on the surface, it seems like he’s making an effort. But if his behavior feels out of character or overly performative, it’s probably not coming from a genuine place. Instead, he’s trying to cushion the divorce blow and make himself feel better about walking away.
13. He’s spending more time with new people
It’s normal to make new friends, but if he’s suddenly surrounded by a new crew and you’re not part of it, that’s a big red flag. Whether it’s new coworkers, gym buddies, or random people from his social circle, he’s building a life that doesn’t include you.
If he’s hanging out with them more often than he’s spending time with you, it’s a sign he’s emotionally detaching and looking for fulfillment outside the marriage.
Pay attention to how often he talks about these new people versus how often he talks about you. If his stories are always about them and he barely acknowledges your shared experiences, it’s because he’s shifting his emotional investment away from your marriage and onto his “new life.”
14. He starts nitpicking your flaws
It’s like he’s suddenly wearing a magnifying glass and only focusing on what’s “wrong” with you. Whether it’s harmless habits, the way you dress, or even your personality, he’s pointing out things that never bothered him before.
This behavior often happens when someone is looking for a reason to leave but doesn’t want to be honest about it. It’s like he’s creating a list of excuses in his head to justify his feelings.
Nitpicking can start small, like complaining about how you load the dishwasher, and then escalate to criticizing your character or lifestyle choices. When everything you do feels wrong in his eyes, it’s not about you – it’s about him trying to push you away without taking responsibility for his own unhappiness.
15. He’s focusing on the negatives of marriage
If you’re married, you might notice him suddenly pointing out all the “downsides” of being together. Comments like, “Marriage is so hard,” or “Why do people even get married?” might seem random, but they’re often hints that he’s unhappy.
These little digs might be his way of planting seeds for a future conversation about ending things. Pay attention to how often he brings this up – it could be more than just venting.
You might notice that these comments pop up during casual conversations or even as jokes, but they’re rarely just harmless musings. If he’s constantly highlighting what’s “wrong” with marriage or making marriage itself sound like a burden, it’s his way of justifying his doubts – to you and himself. Pay attention to how often this happens, as it could signal he’s no longer invested in making things work.