My last relationship seemed like it was too good to be true. Seriously. I never thought I could experience that much love from someone and it felt amazing. He was everything I’ve ever wanted.
That feeling of someone obsessing over you, showering you with attention and love is what every woman wants. I really enjoyed it, especially after my ex-boyfriend who was extremely toxic and left me heartbroken.
I was ready for a new beginning and wanted someone to take care of me and show me all his love. And that’s exactly what I got. However, that sweet honeymoon phase took an unexpected turn and ended as another big heartbreak.
Later on, I realized that I was blind because he love-bombed me. In my defense, how could I know he would hurt me so much after acting like the best man ever to exist?
I bet I’m not the only one who has fallen for this. So let me share some signs that can help you realize it’s not true love before you get your heart broken.
1. You feel pressured to commit way too early
The first moment I met James I felt something I couldn’t even explain. There was a lot of chemistry and romance going on and we immediately knew we had something special.
On our third date, he had already mentioned moving in together and wanted to meet my family. Although it was flattering to hear that, I can’t say I wasn’t caught off guard. He said that like it was nothing and no big deal but to me it was huge!
I didn’t really feel ready to take that big step and was anxious as hell but he would reassure me we were in love and there was no need to waste any time. That’s the moment he slowly started his manipulation.
2. He tricked and convinced you know each other well
James would always say things insinuating that he feels like we’ve known each other for ages. He would often talk about something we had in common, things we both like, and opinions we share.
He convinced me we were soulmates and made for each other. It felt really good to think I finally found the one. But then something clicked in my mind and I realized he always agreed with everything I said and loved absolutely every little thing I did.
It just felt unreal because it was! It’s impossible for someone not to have their own personality. James tried so hard to make a connection that didn’t even exist. He would shower me with sweet words and I loved it.
3. He praises and showers you with affection
While women are always complaining their men don’t show them enough love, I was almost sick of all the attention I was getting. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t take a breath without him being by my side.
He would tell me he never met someone like me, that I was the most beautiful woman he’d seen, and that he couldn’t even imagine his future without me. It wasn’t only compliments James was giving me all the time, it was also the affection.
Constant kissing, hugging, holding hands – it seemed like he couldn’t get enough of me! It was nice at first but then it started to feel fake, like he was trying to get something in return every time. I sometimes still wonder if anything he said was true.
4. He says things you want to hear
If I knew anyone perfect with words, it was James. And this is what really got me hooked on. He always knew what to say to make me melt down.
It doesn’t matter what I was talking about, my goals, insecurities, or trauma, James had the perfect response for everything! Oh, I enjoyed it so much. I thought I finally found someone who wanted to listen to me and I felt understood after a long time.
He did this only to gain my trust, but I realized it too late. It wasn’t honest at all, it was just his little game to make me think we actually have a deep connection. And that’s exactly what I was thinking.
5. You receive gifts like it’s your birthday every day
James didn’t only give me all the words I wanted to hear, he also gave me gifts, a lot of them! There wouldn’t be a date we would go on without him bringing something for me.
Sometimes it would be something small like flowers or that chocolate I really like, but other times he went all out. He once gave me plane tickets for a surprise trip! While I felt flattered and special I began learning this wasn’t as genuine as I thought.
He was buying my loyalty and making slow steps to ensure I felt like I owed him something. Every time I complained about his behavior he would mention the sweet things he’s done for me.
6. He gets defensive whenever you question him
When I finally realized something wasn’t right and gained the courage to bring it up, he went nuts. James always acted as a victim and guilt-tripped me into believing there wasn’t anything wrong. I was just insecure and had trust issues, he said.
Every discussion he didn’t want to have looked the same. I would try to talk nicely, but he would get defensive and then accuse me of being the crazy one.
The way that man acted like he was hurt was incredible! Someone should give him an Academy Award or something! All of this made me feel guilty so I stayed thinking my feelings weren’t valid.
7. He wants you only for himself!
As we progressed in our relationship, James wanted the whole world to revolve around him. Whenever I wanted to go out with my friends or visit my family, he would get mad.
He sometimes even pretended to be sick so I would stay and take care of him. I slowly started losing my friends and it felt lonely. I had no one besides him and he somehow managed to isolate me from everyone.
This was the last step of his sick game and a perfect opportunity to manipulate me into everything he wanted.
Luckily, my sister talked some sense into me and I snapped out of the bubble I was living in. It all became crystal clear once I distanced myself from him. Who knows where I’d be if I stayed in that relationship but all I know is that I’m happy I’ll never find out.
Next time someone acts this way with you think twice before diving into something serious you’ll regret 100%. Remember that true love never feels suffocating or controlling.