We all had cheaters in our lives. I remember thinking: “What did I do to deserve this?” A few times I thought it was my mistake. Maybe I wasn’t there for him when he needed me, maybe I was distant occasionally, maybe this, maybe that…
To tell you the truth, it was never about me!
You can be the most devoted wife or girlfriend and still be cheated on. His own drawbacks are almost always the reason why he’s unfaithful.
If you find your man on this list, you better run girl! Don’t stay, unless you want to be hurt.
1. The Insecure Validation Seeker
He lacks self-esteem and no matter how loving and affectionate you may be, he’ll always need approval and confirmation from the outside. This type of man will cheat only to feel attractive and good about himself. Flirting and sleeping with other women is his form of self-validation.
Also, men who are financially dependent on their spouses, tend to feed their self-confidence by cheating. Affair helps him fill the imaginary gaps in his validation.
My insecure ex was very mysterious, always keeping his phone in his pocket. He would also seem distant and emotionally unavailable at times. I thought he was just introverted, until I realized he’d been sleeping with another woman.
2. The Womanizer
He’s charming and extroverted but at the same has a fragile ego. Serial flirting and seducing women empower him and help him fill the void in his self-image.
Womanizing can be so addictive that it makes him selfish, caring only about his satisfaction. That’s why he never learns to connect with women on a deeper level.
Having power over other women is way more interesting than being committed to his relationship. Also, a long-term relationship doesn’t satisfy his need for novelty.
I’ve dated this type of cheater until I realized he only finds joy in new encounters. After three dates I wasn’t as exciting as a new woman passing by.
3. The Opportunist
He’s cheating for the mere opportunity to feel excited and thrilled when he can’t get caught. Even when in a fulfilling relationship he will just follow this irresistible impulse.
If he’s going for a vacation with his buddies or needs more alone time he might be the opportunist cheater.
I was on a long business trip and got home earlier than planned. Guess what I found in our bedroom?
4. The Frustrated Coward
He’s not getting what he needs and believes he’s been treated badly in the relationship, but doesn’t dare to confront his partner and avoids talking about the problems.
Instead, he finds it easier to have an affair and may even believe that cheating will fix his flawed relationship.
He is scared to leave a woman who isn’t paying attention to him, so he will cheat on her to give her a reason to leave him instead.
I noticed he suddenly stopped fighting and seemed distant. His mind was obviously somewhere else, and he had a new friend. Who later turned out to be not just a friend, but a woman too!
5. The Calculating Narcissist
Self-indulgent narcissist believes he’s more clever and attractive than his girlfriend and that gives him the right to sleep around.
He’s self-obsessed and sees cheating only as an innocent play. If you catch him cheating he’ll show no regret or guilt.
He had that vibe “I’m better than everyone else!” and I can’t tell why I failed to notice it earlier. It was obvious even on our first date.
6. The Control Freak
He always needs to know where you are to make sure he doesn’t bump into you when he is with someone else. He loves to control you, but you will never share information where he’s at.
Cheating gives him a sense of control over his life and helps him feel better if he suspects you may be cheating on him. If he cheats on you first, he’ll win the game.
I got really tired of sharing info about who I am with, what we’re doing, where I go out for drinks, etc. Then one time I lied about my location, and guess what?! I stumbled upon him kissing another woman.
7. The Born Rebel
He doesn’t believe in monogamy, values freedom and regular relationships make him feel “suffocated”. He can’t stay committed and he will cheat out of rebellion.
He might also have “Peter Pan syndrome” and walk through life without responsibilities or a need to settle down. Cheating gives him a sense of freedom.
I always needed to take care of him and remind him of his responsibilities until I got tired and found out he’d been way too close to a girl who he’d been surf coaching.
8. The Lost Soul
This man is not cheating to satisfy his self-centered need but because he doesn’t know who he is and feels lost. Cheating helps him resolve his own identity issues and gives him a sense of belonging.
The pursuit for meaning will take him to another woman’s arms but he will again feel lost. How did I end up here? What was I thinking? Similar questions will flood his mind.
After I caught him cheating he started a long semi-philosophical tirade about life and relationships. I just left.
9. The Bored Adventurer
Routine is his biggest enemy. He craves excitement and novelty, and if his relationship falls into any form of predictability, he starts seeking thrills elsewhere. It’s not that he doesn’t love his partner—he just loves the rush of something new even more.
He doesn’t necessarily plan to cheat, but the moment an opportunity arises that promises a spark of adventure, he won’t hesitate. It could be a spontaneous flirtation at a bar, a thrilling office romance, or a risky rendezvous while traveling.
I remember the way he constantly needed to push limits—skydiving, spontaneous road trips, anything to feel alive. Turns out, sneaking around with other women was just another one of his adrenaline fixes.
10. The Revenge Seeker
If he feels wronged in any way, he justifies his cheating as payback. It’s not about love or attraction—it’s about making himself feel better.
Even if the slight was small, he magnifies it and uses it as an excuse to betray you. My ex cheated on me because I forgot our anniversary once. Unbelievable, right?
What’s worse is that he never truly feels satisfied after his so-called revenge. Instead of addressing the issue like an adult, he creates more damage, leaving behind resentment, guilt, and a relationship that can never be the same again.
11. The Emotional Escape Artist
This type of cheater doesn’t cheat because he lacks love in his relationship—he cheats because he lacks the emotional tools to handle problems. Whenever life gets too overwhelming, he runs into the arms of another woman instead of facing his feelings.
Whether it’s stress from work, personal failures, or relationship troubles, he finds emotional comfort in cheating. It’s his way of avoiding reality. The affair is less about the other woman and more about the temporary relief she provides.
I remember how he always withdrew when things got tough. At first, I thought he just needed space, but then I realized that “space” meant finding someone else to help him escape.
12. The Addictive Personality
He’s the type of man who gets easily hooked—whether it’s gambling, drinking, or, in this case, cheating. It’s not just about attraction; it’s about the high he gets from sneaking around and breaking the rules.
Even if he loves his partner, monogamy feels suffocating to him. The secrecy, the forbidden element, the constant chase—it’s all part of an addictive cycle he can’t break. And no amount of love or commitment from you will be enough to satisfy him.
Looking back, I should have seen the red flags. He was always chasing something, whether it was the next big idea, the next party, or, unfortunately, the next woman.
13. The Self-Sabotager
Deep down, he doesn’t believe he deserves happiness. No matter how good the relationship is, he finds a way to ruin it—whether consciously or unconsciously. Cheating, for him, is a way to confirm his own fears that things will eventually fall apart.
He might feel unworthy of love, scared of commitment, or simply uncomfortable with stability. The moment things start going well, he creates chaos by betraying the person who cares for him the most. Then, when everything crumbles, he plays the victim.
I thought he was just dealing with past trauma, but I realized he was constantly setting fires he had no intention of putting out. And one of those fires? His secret fling with a woman he swore was “just a friend.”
14. The Overgrown Child
Mature relationships require effort, responsibility, and emotional depth—none of which this man possesses. He still acts like a teenager, treating relationships like a game rather than a real partnership.
He doesn’t handle conflict well, avoids responsibility, and expects his partner to take care of everything. If something doesn’t go his way, instead of working on the relationship, he finds an escape—usually in the arms of someone else who doesn’t expect much from him.
I should have known when he refused to plan anything beyond the weekend. Commitment was foreign to him, and as soon as things got serious, he ran straight into someone else’s arms, avoiding adulthood like the plague.
15. The Social Status Seeker
For him, relationships are more about image than love. He doesn’t just cheat for pleasure—he cheats to climb the social ladder, boost his reputation, or be seen with someone who gives him a higher sense of status.
He thrives on validation from others, constantly seeking attention and admiration. If he thinks another woman will make him look more powerful, successful, or desirable, he won’t hesitate to betray his partner.
He always had a need to be admired, to be seen with the “right” people. When I found out he was having an affair with someone higher up at his job, I realized I was just a placeholder until something shinier came along.