While I was googling ideas for creative decorations that could be useful for my brother’s wedding event, I encountered an interesting testimony on Reddit, where a woman explained she RSVP’d “No” to her sister’s wedding because it overlaps with her sleep time.
I’ve felt an itching curiosity to learn more about her story and glued my eyes to the screen.
The bride was furious
Her sister Hanna, the bride, refused to speak to her after the RSVP incident. The fact her sister chose to skip the wedding ceremony only because of her sleeping schedule, was shocking, at least.
Author of the post shared more details to explain her reasoning. She told a story of a long struggle with chronic insomnia which made her sleep schedule truly unusual.
It’s as if she is continuously going through an international jet lag. Usually, she would fall asleep at dawn and wake up in the afternoon.
She further explained that her sister was well familiar with her sleeping habits but still showed no intention to accept the situation without hard emotional reactions, yelling at her over the phone.
When the woman received the wedding invitation she was very happy about Hanna, excited to hear the plans for a big wedding, but then the timeline popped out as a huge obstacle to her attendance:
“… there’s a wedding brunch at 10am, the ceremony is at noon, and then there’s an afternoon party. I asked Hanna if I could just come to the afternoon party (since I will be sleeping at 10am) and she got furious and started yelling over the phone about how since I’m her sister, I need to be there for the ceremony.”
She laughed and compared Hanna’s expectations to asking someone on a 9-5 work schedule to be present at a ceremony at 2 am.
“If she wanted me to be there for the whole thing, she needed to plan for a time when I could actually attend. I work a full time job as a freelancer, just not normal hours because of my insomnia, so it really bugs me when people act like my time is worth less than theirs.”
Mom was upset too
Their mom also got upset and insisted that she should change her response. However, after all that happened, she felt an even stronger desire not to attend the event.
Instead of apologizing to her sister, she expected her sister to apologize to her. Even though she realized her point of view might not be fully correct as:
“this is the first big fancy wedding in our family and maybe I need to suck it up because it’s a tradition to have a morning breakfast or something.”
Comments on Reddit changed her perspective
Numerous comments below the post suggested she should go to see the doctor and that her perspective is a bit self-centered.
Another user was assuring her that she needs to see a sleep specialist, pointing out that if a wedding as a “one-day event” interrupts her life so much, it is a warning sign.
Afterwards, she adjusted her standpoint to some extent. First follow-up on the posted story revealed she came to a common sense conclusion and decided to apologize to Hanna.
“…I’m not a bridesmaid but I can still put on a dress and show up even if I am tired.”
She also became aware of the fact that she has a serious sleeping problem and decided to seek a sleep specialist’s opinion and explore the roots of her strange sleeping patterns. Open talk with her mom gave her the chance to explain her opinion, but it also gave her a different perspective.
At last, she became aware of how abnormal her sleeping rhythm actually is, and thanked people whose comments changed her perception.
“SERIOUSLY A BIG THANK YOU to everyone who gave me tips and ideas for what to search and what to ask my new sleep doctor once I find one with my mom.”
It wasn’t revealed if she managed to smooth things out with her sister, but finally, being aware of her sleeping problem was a good starting point for a better life and relationships.