Undefined relationships have become a real ‘trend’ in this modern time of dating. To understand the real issue of this, I asked myself a question: What’s worse than a break-up?
And if you ask me, I would say it is being in an undefined relationship.
When you break up with someone, you know that everything has come to an end and there’s simply no point in staying together.
But when you’re in an undefined relationship, it basically means that you’re neither in a relationship nor out of one.
The worst thing of all is that you don’t get to choose to be in an undefined relationship with your ‘partner’.
You can find yourself in this ‘no-label’ relationship at any moment, without being aware of it at all.
You’re overwhelmed by the feeling of emptiness
You feel like you’re lacking something but you yourself are not sure what it is. The feeling of emptiness remains persistent when you’re with your partner or when you’re not.
It is the biggest indicator that something is bothering you subconsciously and when you are in an undefined relationship, your mind will know that something’s not right and it will constantly remind you of that.
In a way, you’ve got used to feeling empty and now it’s hard for you to differentiate a real relationship from an undefined one.
You don’t feel like calling your partner ‘honey’ or ‘darling’
Calling your partner cute names or nicknames is totally out of the question.
When you speak to each other, you specifically call each other your names and not some other sweet words that people in a real relationship tend to do.
This is because you don’t feel that emotionally attached to your partner and you find it hard to call them ‘honey’ or ‘darling’ because it feels awkward and it doesn’t sound genuine to you.
And even if one of you says it, you both immediately feel a little bit uncomfortable and uneasy.
You don’t talk much on the phone
When you think of calling your ‘partner’, you start having second thoughts about doing so.
Is it because you know that it doesn’t make sense to talk to them about something that is bothering you or about something regarding your ‘relationship’?
And even if you find the courage to call them, your conversations don’t last that long.
It feels like simply exchanging information without getting any feedback or moral support from your ‘partner’.
You don’t know how to label ‘the thing you have’ when someone asks you
When you’re about to introduce them to someone, you don’t know how to label this thing called ‘an undefined relationship’.
You feel like you’re neither a real couple nor friends.
That frustrating feeling when you’re unable to identify something you’re going through occupies your mind most of the day before some large event where you know people will ask you to introduce your ‘partner’ to them.
And that is how you know that you’re not that happy after all and there are some issues regarding your so-called ‘relationship’.
Mentioning the future has become taboo
You never talk to your partner about the future and nor do either of you ever mention anything that could have some correlation with the future.
This is because people who are not sure about the present rarely want to talk about the future.
When you’re not sure that you’re in a real relationship, you will not see your partner as someone whom you’ll stay with for some time in the future either.
It is all uncertain and you cannot promise something you know you will not be able to keep.
You’re indifferent to your partner’s habits
You know how people in a relationship get irritated by each other’s habits and they constantly try to change the behavior of their partner?
If you’re not doing it, it means you literally don’t give a shit about what they are doing.
You’re indifferent to your partner’s habits because you don’t really care if something they’re doing bothers you.
And even if it bothers you, you don’t want to waste your time on things like that because you have other priorities.
If you don’t care about what’s going on in your ‘relationship’ or how your ‘partner’ behaves, it is the biggest red flag that you’re in an undefined relationship and you should consider working on it with him or let go of it if you see that there’s no hope.