Your past is still haunting you and you just can’t let go of it. Well, that is what is keeping you from forgetting about him. You are the reason you can’t let go.
Your past is holding you back from enjoying present moments. You are unable to forget that part of your life and that is what makes you so miserable now. Don’t let him be the reason why you can’t be happy now.
He’s just a ghost of the past and you want to move forward, leaving the past where it belongs.
So, before you decide to go into a new romantic relationship, you have to be sure you’ve overcome your past because if you haven’t, your new relationship is going to suffer. And don’t be scared to take a step into the future just because someone broke your heart. It happens. We all get our hearts broken, but we all heal after some time and move on.
Moving on is not as hard as you think, especially not if you know the real reasons why you still can’t get over your ex.
1. You compare everything with the past
You’re comparing your current relationship with the past one. However, you can’t expect everything to be the same. After all, your past relationship failed, which means that things being the same is not such a good idea. Let go of him and the moments you had together. Focus on the new relationship and on the beautiful present and on an even more beautiful future that awaits you if you play your cards right. Comparison will lead you nowhere except destruction.
2. You can’t believe it has happened
Emotions are running wild. You feel confused, angry, doubtful… a lot of things at the same time. You got used to being in a relationship that now that you are out of one you can’t get rid of that ‘in a relationship’ paradigm. Your brain was used to thinking that you were happy and in a relationship and now all of a sudden you are not. It’s a pretty stressful situation, not only emotionally but for your body’s chemistry, too. Try to see yourself as a single person now. Walk the streets thinking that you are what you are and after some time, you’ll get used to it.
3. You haven’t had closure
Maybe he just left you out of the blue or you knew it was coming but you had no idea why he wanted to break up with you. If you don’t have closure, you are not ready to move on because you’ll keep obsessing over what went wrong with the two of you. Closure is extremely important because it means that you finalized things and closed the final chapter of that book. And if you don’t finalize something, you can’t start anything new. You have to give yourself time to grieve the loss, take responsibilities for your actions and look to the future.
4. You miss the intimacy
You miss the actual person, which is completely understandable, but that doesn’t have to be the only reason why you are not over him yet, and it isn’t. That is just a small part of the whole story. Most of the work that has to be done to heal has to be done by you and no one else. You have to get your respect back and you have to start loving yourself.
5. You have to get back your self-esteem
If you were neglected in your relationship or always last on his priority list, then this is the main reason you can’t get over your ex. He took your self-worth by treating you the way you didn’t deserve and now you think you aren’t fit for life. You think you are lost without him and you are scared because you don’t know what to do, so the first thought in your mind is to go back to him. That won’t solve anything. You have to remember that you are a beautiful human being, worthy of all the attention and love you can get. You deserve to be happy, so don’t let yourself prevent yourself from being happy.
6. Everything reminds you of him
Everything you see or smell reminds you of him because you still haven’t let him go. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way because a large part of you was ripped away from you and you have to miss it. Heck, if you had a tiny rock in your pocket for a long time, you would get used to that and miss it. If you still think about him after some time has passed then you are just not ready to move on yet. Give it some more time because we all heal differently.
7. He was a part of you and now he’s gone
He was a part of your identity. Your brain memorized him as that and if you see him again after a break-up, those old emotions will come swirling back because once it was you and him together and now it’s just you and just him. Before, everything you did revolved around him and now you are on your own and you don’t have to take care of anyone and it’s confusing. A large part of you is now gone and it’s natural to feel sad and to want it back, but that doesn’t have to mean getting back together would be a good thing.