While some of us lie to save hurting someone else’s feelings, or to avoid conflict, there are people who can’t seem to come to terms with the truth. Pathological liars have no moral compass.
They use lies as a tool of manipulation, control and power, simply because they can. It has to feel empowering when you know that you can convince someone into something they know isn’t the truth. But they are just so good at lying that they won’t stop doing it.
Maybe they started using it as a necessary evil, but with time it became a habit to them.
Now, they don’t know how to speak the truth even if they want to.
Dating a liar can hurt you in so many ways, from twisting your mind and questioning your sanity, to feeling betrayed and just broken for loving someone who is never honest with you.
And there are many telltale signs that you are dating a compulsive liar to look for to save yourself from the ways they can break you.
1. He hides things from you
He doesn’t want to get caught, so he will go out of his way to keep the lie going.
He will hide his phone, keep passcodes and passwords on everything and keep you out of his private life as much as possible.
And even when you sense that something is off, he is just so good at manipulating you that you will end up apologizing to him, even though he is the one who should be apologizing to you.
2. He lies about the most mundane things
They lie about everything basically. From what they had for breakfast, what they did in the morning, to the time they went to bed.
With them, you never know what the truth is and even when they know you can see through their lies, they still lie. It’s not something they can’t control, it’s something that they don’t want to control.
While loyalty is one of the most important qualities in a relationship, with them it’s practically impossible to have it.
3. He always has an excuse
No matter what happens, he is capable of making up an entire story in a matter of seconds.
While the rest of us stumble and stutter, trying to find the words to pull ourselves out of it, he doesn’t even miss a beat.
He will have an excuse the moment you confront him about anything, leaving you scratching your head and wondering where things went wrong.
4. There is literally nothing off limits for him to be lying about
While some of us will lie only to save hurting someone’s feelings or to save our own ass (such as avoiding to answer, “Did you eat my ice cream?”), to a compulsive liar, nothing is sacred—not even lying about whether he loves you or not, if he cheated on you or if he took something away from you.
He has no remorse for manipulating you and he will do whatever it takes to keep the charade going.
5. You begin to question your sanity
He has a way of convincing you that the sky is yellow and the sun is blue.
Soon enough, you begin to question your own sanity, because he manages to convince you that things you experienced with him didn’t even happen the way they did. He is that good.
And every time you feel upset about him lying, he guilt-trips you into believing that he is the victim, so you end up being the one to apologize.
The thing with compulsive liars is that they have a way to make us question our own mind and our own sanity.
6. You feel like the bad guy for questioning him
Manipulation is his game and he has mastered it to perfection.
It is no wonder you feel like the worst villain who ever lived, just because you dared to question his stories or his loyalty.
He will turn your world upside down without even thinking about it, as long as he gets what he wants.
7. He never takes responsibility—instead, he blames it on you
When you catch him red-handed and confront him about it, he will either turn the story all the way around and try to convince you into seeing his version of the truth or he will find a way to blame it on you.
He only lied to protect you, he was afraid that you wouldn’t be able to handle the truth, he was sure you were not interested in knowing the truth, etc.
He will never, and I mean never, take responsibility for his lies and games.
8. He has no remorse
With no moral compass and no remorse, he is a damn psychopathic liar who will never feel guilty for making you feel like you are the crazy one.
He will not once show the slightest bit of remorse for breaking you into millions of pieces, because he is incapable of having any.
This will make you feel like you are not worthy of someone’s love, loyalty and honesty, while the only truth is that he was never able to give you any of it. All he was capable of giving you were lies and manipulations.
9. He takes away your security
His games take away everything you thought you knew. His games take away your security, strength and the ability to ever trust anyone or yourself.
Relationships are about feeling safe, respected and loved, and when dating a pathological liar, you have none of those things.
It takes away your faith in love and it seems like there is no way to get back on your own two feet after you were broken so badly that it destroyed everything you were.
And just when you think that you managed to change him, he breaks you once more.
Loving a liar is worse than walking through hell, so it’s better to get away while you still can.